Sounds E-mailesque!/The Chief's Caper
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Dangeresque has to run from his most tenacious foe yet! Can this show's loyal fans find him in time?
Cast (in order of appearance): Dangeresque, Stave, Secret Agent Ham Sandwich, Dangeresque Too, The Chief, Topsy
Places: The Smoky Office, Strong Borneo, the Swimming Pool, ?????
Computer: The Uzi-Computa
Date: May 9, 2010
Page Title: The page title this week will be long, well-thought-out, and intelligent.
Transcript
DANGERESQUE: Well, I'm sure the E-mail this week will be long, well-thought-out, intelligent, and...
Dangeresque
why can't we see the chief?
Still@large
DANGERESQUE: ...apparently a lousy piece of crap. {He reads the E-mail, reading "still@large" as "Stella Large."} Um...I am not at liberty to answer this question. Next!
{He types "bringupabetteremail.ordidi" and the next one pops up.}
Dear Dangeresque,
Why is it that we are unable to see the face of your employer, The Chief?
Sincerely,
Jawunderfalt III
DANGERESQUE: Well, at least this one's worded a little better. Or, at least, worded at all, but still no. {He brings up the next one}
Dear the Awesome Dangeresque,
I wanna see Chiefy's face!
From,
Dov
DANGERESQUE: Aah! {brings another}
Dear Dangeresue,
Why do we never see the Chief's face? Is his image too hideous for lesser men to behold?
With a lotta crap,
Priscilla
(My real name. Happy?)
DANGERESQUE: Yes, I am happy that you sent your real name. Gold star, Priscilla! {He tapes a gold star onto the screen.} Oh, right. It's an E-mail about the Chief's face. Aaah!
{He runs offscreen. We cut to a scene in Strong Borneo. Dangeresque is hiding behind a bush. He peeks out.}
DANGERESQUE: Yikes! It's everywhere!
{He looks into the sky and sees a blimp trailing a sign asking what The Chief looks like.}
DANGERESQUE: Well, I don't know how they're going to top that.
{He looks left and sees a TV playing "Whaddya Know, Haddyman?"}
STAVE: Stave it off, ride your bike, what does the Chief look like?
SECRET AGENT HAM SANDWICH: Daaaaaaah! Dangeresque will tell us all!
DANGERESQUE: Aaah! It's enough to give a guy the Jibblies!
{He runs left, bumping into the Jibblies Painting.}
JIBBLIES PAINTING: Come on, tell us what The Chief looks like!
DANGERESQUE: No time for Jibblies! I've got to go!
{He runs right, and we cut to a scene at the pool. Dangeresque jumps in and sinks to the bottom. He stays there until his face turns blue, then jumps out.}
DANGERESQUE: Yeah, that was a really dumb idea. Only an idiot would think you could hide in there for very long.
{Dangeresque Too runs in.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Help! I'm on the run from the police for ripping a tag off of a pillow!
{He jumps into the pool. After a few seconds, he pops out.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: By the way, what does The Chief's face look like?
DANGERESQUE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
{Dangeresque runs off, past the pool, past Strong Borneo, and finally back to the Smoky Office. All the lights are turned off and the curtains are drawn.}
DANGERESQUE: Maybe, if I just wait here and don't answer any E-mails, I'll be safe.
{The phone rings. Dangeresque jumps and picks it up.}
DANGERESQUE: Hello? Yes, Chief? What? No, I don't know what your face looks like! Get outta here!
{He hangs up, shuddering.}
DANGERESQUE: That's it! I'm going to go somewhere where nobody can find me!
{He runs off, and Topsy comes down with a new message:}
Explanations
Topsy's last message, for those of you who can't see images, reads:
IF YOU WANT TO SEE DANGERESQUE AGAIN, LEAVE
FIVE DOLLARS
AT THE FOLLOWING LOCATION:
SOUNDS E-MAILESQUE!/BLACKMAIL
