Sounds E-mailesque!/Blackmail

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

WELCOME, FANS!
This is the Uzi-Computa speaking. Dangeresque has flown the coop, and I'm not telling you where he is unless you pay me! Leave the message "Five Dollars" below with your signature, or there will never be another Sounds E-mailesque!
XOXO,
The Uzi-Computa

Ten Dollars and 22 cents! --McHstar 15:18, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

$5 and 33 cents! dov

my nana's old hip! and 100 extra dollars! --McHstar 18:14, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

A larger, economy-size bag of pork rinds. 18:27, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

-300 Dollars! We shall never see another Sounds Emailesque now! Espemon333 18:36, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

+400 dollars to cancel out the above statement. PWNED! --McHstar 19:28, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

I will pay latest 5 bucks from the homestarmy stealing club. DING! Money prize! -Deycres

I wasnt even checking this out before today. Instead of 5 buck giving, I am sending Crack Stuntman (who is armed with 5 bucks) to beat the information out of you. Also, What does The Chief look like? —TheMcArby! 00:19, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

Well, according to my highly questionable math, this comes to about $220.55 + one Crack Stuntman + one hip (let's hear it for illegal organ trading) + a now-empty bag of pork rinds. How did you guys know that was the exact amount I wanted? I guess I'll free the author from his closet so he can write more E-mailesque!
And bonus points to McHstar for being the most disturbingly obsessed fan. Keep on creepin' us out, sticky!
Oh, and to those of you who want to know where Dangeresque is hiding, remember the end of this thing?[1]
Creepily Yours,
Uzi-C