Sbemail History Montage
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Relieve eight years' worth of pivotal "Strong Bad Email" moments.
Cast: (in order of appearance) Strong Bad, Homsar, Stinkoman, 1-Up, Pan Pan, Homestar Runner, Strong Sad, Bubs, Marzipan, King of Town, Coach Z, Poopsmith
Transcript
{Tandy 400 boots up and plays the following scenes. The lower left-hand corner displays an h*r logo with the appropriate year written on it.}
2001: some kinda robot
STRONG BAD: {singing, types 'run "strongbad's__email"'} Oh, who is the guy that checks all his emails? That's me, Strong Baaad.
2001: homsar
{Cut to Homsar standing in the Field. Strong Bad enters the frame in the foreground.}
STRONG BAD: Hey, Homsar!
HOMSAR: {faces Strong Bad} Uhdyeah, what ees it, Strong Baaaaayaad?
{Strong Bad leaves the frame and the Heavy Lourde falls on Homsar, completely crushing him.}
{Border changes to Compy 386}
2002: 50 emails
Email #2
Dear Stong Bad,
what are some cool ways to spell
different words? example, fat = phat
matt
STRONG BAD: Oh, you mean like {types} strong = stong? {stops} You seem to like that one. Or how about this? matt = MATT!! {He types matt = DELETED!, and the following appears on the screen as the email is deleted:}
MATT!!
2003: japanese cartoon
1-UP: Hey Stinkoman! Everybody says you're the guy, but I wanna be the guy too!
STINKOMAN: No way, you're just a kid! Maybe when you're older.
{Pan Pan bounces in and squashes 1-Up}
STINKOMAN: {laughing and stomping from one foot to the other, with miniature mushroom clouds appearing around his head} Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Pan Pan is fat! Ha ha ha ha ha! He fell on you!
2004: virus
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Your super box needs words. {His head falls off and onto the ground.} Like these right here! Gotta have this one {He picks up "downloads" from the bottom menu.} and this one {He picks up "games" from the bottom menu.} and this-a-this-a-this one. {He picks up "characters" from the bottom menu.}
STRONG BAD: {simultaneously} No, wait! Stop! That's not supposed to be possible!
{Border changes to Lappy 486}
2005: long pants
STRONG BAD: And if I email you! Girl, woman! {He holds up pieces of paper that say "Girl." and "Woman." as he says those words.} Oh, would you email me? Girl, woman! {He holds up the papers again.}
2006: cliffhangers
STRONG BAD: Aah!
{The Lappy isn't on the desk; it has been replaced by a ransom note, which reads "i got your Lappy", and has a red-splattered comma key from the keyboard.}
STRONG BAD: My computer's been Lappy-napped! And they cut off her little toe! {falls to his knees} Oh, sweet lady irony! Why do you mock me?
{The dramatic sound (dun, dun, duuun) is heard.}
2007: rough copy
{Strong Sad begins pelting Strong Bad with snowballs. Strong Bad covers his face.}
STRONG BAD: Ow! Eech! Ooh! Agh-where did you get snowballs this time of year!?! {Strong Sad continues hitting him with snowballs} How did you fit them in that notebook?
STRONG SAD: {holds a snowball aloft} I've been saving these in the freezer since I was eight!
2008: email thunder
SINGER: How can we face two hundred sbemails?
{Strong Bad continues to approach the computer, showing that the King of Town and Bubs are also in the room. We then cut to the singer, who is revealed to be the Poopsmith, wearing a bowtie and holding a microphone, as he finishes his song.}
THE POOPSMITH: The thought of all those sbemails makes me weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak!
{Cut to Strong Bad standing on his stool. Strong Sad can be seen among the audience.}
STRONG BAD: {finishing the song} Puke!
{Border changes to Compé}
2009: hremail 3184
STRONG BAD: {from off-screen} Aaah! {A record scratch is heard.} I can't takes it no more!
{Cut to Strong Bad, screaming.}
STRONG BAD: Somebody hand me a rake!
{A rake is handed to Strong Bad. He grabs it and smacks Homestar with it. A white flash and an explosive-like effect on Homestar are seen when this happens.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Raaaake!
STRONG BAD: {dropping the rake} Somebody hand me a shovel!
{A shovel is handed to him. He smacks Homestar with it.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Shovel!
STRONG BAD: {dropping the shovel} Somebody hand me a Garden Weasel!
{A tool with a very spiky end is handed to Strong Bad. Again, he hits Homestar. Homestar comes back up with a "CENSORED" sign over his face; bruises and a stream of blood can be seen around it.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {calmly} Aw, a Weasel.
STRONG BAD: {wiping his brow} Phew.
Fun Facts
- The "virus" clip is letterboxed to fit onto the Compy's screen.
- "hremail 3184" has a Compé border despite coming from the Lappy 486 era.
