Resident Daisy/8
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Summary
Daisy attempts to answer an email. Then she is properly introduced to Strong Bad in real-life.
Cast (in order of appearance): Daisy, Strong Mad, Strong Sad, Strong Bad
Transcript
{Cut to Daisy in front of the Lappy 486, where we left off in the last episode. Strong Mad is standing by Daisy. The following email is on the screen. Daisy whacks the keyboard of the lappy.}
DAISY: I wonder if it's possible to delete a break... now!
Subject: ROOLSU ROOL,SB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{Daisy pauses as her eyes slightly glows before she says the following. Strangely, what she says appears on the Lappy screen without typing.}
DAISY: U ROOL, SB!!!!!!!!
{Pause.}
DAISY: U ROOL, SB!!!!!!!!
{Pause.}
DAISY: Uh... yes... thank you. What's yours?
{Pause. Suddenly, Daisy pats Strong Mad's butt. Strong Mad quickly faces the Lappy.}
STRONG MAD: THIS EMAIL DOES SUCK! CHANGE FOR YOU, MISSY!
DAISY: What are you, MISSY!
{Strong Mad whacks the keyboard of the Lappy, causing the DELETED screen to appear. An email appears on the screen.}
DAISY: YOU SMART! You did email me, coach?
STRONG MAD: THANK YOU, MISSY!
DAISY: THANK YOU, MISSY! So why don't scream!
{Strong Mad gets a look of surprise before slowly opening his mouth, trying to make it as small as possible.}
STRONG MAD: Yes missy...
DAISY: Uh... yes... THANK YOU MISSY!
{Daisy reads the following email.}
Subject: why do people care about it??Dear Strong Bad,
Why does everyone care how you can type with boxing gloves on?
Qwertyuiop
Maybe you should ask them, in an... interview, or something.
With Parc,
{Daisy's eyes glow. What she says appears on the screen.}
DAISY: What? Strong Bad? Because if that's some imitation, right? What? Strong Bad? Because if that's some imitation, right? Coach Z, you ahve to remember that? {pause} I know. I'm disappointed. Here's me to allow the eat if he's around...
STRONG MAD: YOU DISAPPOINTED?
DAISY: YOU DISAPPOINTED?
{Strong Mad looks up at the ceiling, confused.}
STRONG MAD: {confused} UH...
DAISY: Uh... what is your family life IS STILL GOOOOOOOOOD!
STRONG MAD: IT IS!!!
DAISY: LIFE IS STILL GOOOOOOOOOD!
STRONG MAD: I AGREE! LET'S CHANGE CRAP!
DAISY: I AGREE! Let's start this conversation is giving me a headache.
{Strong Mad whacks the keyboard to make the DELETED screen appear. An email appears on the screen.}
DAISY: Anyway, that crap again?
STRONG MAD: YES IT IS!
DAISY: Homestar, this is your name?
STRONG MAD: UH? UH... REPEAT THE ANSWER!
DAISY: Yes, inside!
STRONG MAD: UH... READ THE TV! I WANT TO SPELL YOU!
DAISY: UH? UH... REPEAT THE ANSWER!
STRONG MAD: READ IT PLEASE!
DAISY: UH...
{Daisy reads the email.}
Subject: Best friendI say the holy crap,
-TheCheesiest
Who was your best friend in school?
{Daisy's eyes glow. Then what she says appears on the screen.}
DAISY: WHO NEEDS TRASH? WHO NEEDS TRASH?!?
STRONG MAD: IT SAYS THE CHEESE! IT MUST BE THE CHEAT! THE CHEAT IS MISSING!
{Cut to a burnt The Cheat, unconscious against a wall in the Basement. Cut back to Daisy in front of the Lappy.}
DAISY: WHO NEEDS TRASH? WHO NEEDS TRASH?!?
STRONG MAD: I NEED THE CHEAT!
DAISY: Lappy delete? What she says!
{Suddenly, the email on the Lappy is DELETED. Another email appears on the screen.}
DAISY: Could you elaborate on mine.
STRONG MAD: FIND THE CHEAT?
{Daisy reads the following email.}
Subject: HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOYDear Stong Bad,<br />
Do you like Powdered Toast?
From Stimpson J. Cat
{Daisy's eyes glow.}
DAISY: And so I was going to find some fried heart attacks!
STRONG MAD: OH? WANT MORE FOOD? NANNY!
DAISY: OH, you want more food? NANNY!
{Strong Sad, wearing maid's clothes, walks onscreen.}
STRONG SAD: {sulking} Yes?
STRONG MAD: WANTS {points to the Lappy screen} THIS! THEN FIND THE CHEAT!
{Suddenly, Daisy's face turns blue as she makes choking sounds. Strong Mad looks at Daisy in alert.}
STRONG MAD: WHAT'S WRONG?
{Daisy then breathes as she's back to normal.}
DAISY: Uh... yes... thank you. What's yours?
STRONG SAD: Uh... mademoiselle? Did you just forget to breathe?
DAISY: Uh... they did? Well, what is one of those "bad days."
STRONG SAD: I would like a straight answer, please.
DAISY: Stop! What are you like... those "bad days."
STRONG MAD: YES! SHUT UP AND FETCH!
DAISY: YES! SHUT UP as a girl I picked off the ground? My question.
{Strong Sad sighs before reading what's on the Lappy screen, doing a curtsy, and walking off-screen.}
STRONG MAD: SO NICE OF HER!
{Daisy motions to the Lappy. Then she lifts it.}
DAISY: To me, coach?
STRONG MAD: OF COURSE! YOUR NEW PRESENT!
DAISY: Uh... read-
{Daisy gently places the Lappy on her lap.}
DAISY: Answer my castle?
STRONG MAD: VISIT YOUR HOME! WHY NOT?
DAISY: Alas...
{Daisy grabs the Lappy.}
DAISY: Of course! Your new present!
{Strong Mad gets a look of awe and graciousness.}
STRONG MAD: AW... SWEET... THANK YOU!
DAISY: Visit your home! From my running off!
STRONG SAD: {off-screen} Wouldn't you like to have your powdered toast, first?
DAISY: So, are you like powdered toast? From Stimpson J. Cat.
STRONG MAD: {shouting to Strong Sad} I WANT THE CHEAT!
DAISY: Whoah. Suddenly, I want to spell you!
{Strong Mad drops the Lappy onto the floor in happiness.}
STRONG MAD: REALLY?!? YAY!
STRONG BAD: {off-screen} Okay, this romance has gone on far enough!
DAISY: So you peeved the king enough to be thrown into the dungeon?
{Strong Bad, covered in sawdust and splinters, walks onscreen.}
STRONG BAD: Something like that. {mutters} Freakin' broom closet. Who made that hole?
DAISY: WHO NEEDS TRASH? WHO NEEDS TRASH?!?
{Strong Bad looks at the Lappy on the floor and yelps.}
STRONG BAD: Wah! What did you do to the Lappy? Is it dying? Who created this mess? Is the Lappy going to die?
DAISY: Say, who is it safe for real.
{Strong Mad picks up the Lappy from the floor.}
STRONG MAD: IT'S MINE!
STRONG BAD: {to Strong Mad} What?!?
DAISY: What, are you did email me, coach?
STRONG BAD: Look, Daisy. I don't care if you've been crushed by a Heavy Lourde too, but if you're responsible for all of this mess...
DAISY: Okay, but I said?
STRONG BAD: Oh, so you're saying you are responsible. Then, as man of the house, I order you to GET O-
{Suddenly, Strong Mad whacks Strong Bad in the head with the Lappy.}
STRONG BAD: Ow! Strong Mad, wrong timing and person!
STRONG MAD: HOW DARE YOU HATE MY SWEET!
STRONG BAD: {shocked} WHAT?!?
DAISY: {to Strong Mad} Pardon begging, SWEET! {to Strong Bad} I assume that that's what you're a girl.
STRONG BAD: Look, not only do I mind being called a girl, mind having my Lappy thrown onto the floor...
STRONG MAD: IT'S MINE!
STRONG BAD: ...but you are NOT going to make out with Strong Mad!
DAISY: Thanks for reminding me. Revenge must be done once I'm out...
{Suddenly, Daisy runs to the right, knocking Strong Bad onto the floor. Strong Mad drops the Lappy onto the floor in shock.}
STRONG MAD: NO! COME BACK MY SWEET!
{Strong Mad runs after Daisy, running on Strong Bad in the process.}
STRONG BAD: {in pain} Ow... my clavicus... majorus... and my brain...
{Strong Sad walks onscreen with a video camera.}
STRONG SAD: I assume that you do not want this drama to be released public.
{Strong Bad gets up, holding his head.}
STRONG BAD: Must my day be any worse?
{The Cheat, burnt, walks onscreen.}
STRONG BAD: Actually, I don't really mind that...
{The New Paper comes from the top of the screen.}
STRONG BAD: Wait, you're telling me that this was an email?!?
{Strong Bad picks up the Lappy.}
STRONG BAD: Lappy! Lappy! Please don't tell me you've been manipulated by HER!
{Strong Bad looks at the camera.}
STRONG BAD: Man, this just wins the prize...
{The New Paper prints down to reveal the message, "Oh yeah. That's the cherry on top."}
STRONG BAD: Hey! No smart talk, you replacement!
{The New Paper falls onto the floor.}
STRONG BAD: So what if I hurt your feelings? {pause} Dang, you know how to grow big for some unexplained reason.
Fun Facts
- The four emails Daisy answers are from the inbox of Strong Bad Email.
- Strong Mad says, "I CAN'T SPELL YOU" in virus.
- Strong Bad's line concerning his "clavicus... majorus" comes from unused emails, although it's originally from Tis True.
