Resident Daisy/1

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

Jump to: navigation, search

Summary

The story begins with the creation and the "online" conversation.

Cast (in order of appearance): Dr. Liidburg Jr., Dr. Paul, Dr. Myer, Daisy, Epsilon Pan, The Cheat, Strong Bad, Female Lappy (voice only)

Transcript

{Cut to a rainy, futuristic city. Hovercrafts are seen flying all around the futuristic buildings. The camera zooms into a teal building made of glass. The following caption appears.}

{Cut to an exhibition room inside the building. A messy-haired scientist (wearing a nametag saying, "My name's Dr. Liidburg Jr. Get my name wrong, and you die.") is standing in front of two, short scientists wearing thick glasses. Behind them are a large number of super-holographic generators.}

DR. LIIDBURG JR.: Okay, Dr. Paul and Dr. Myer, you stereotypes. Allow me to show you my latest creation that'll somewhat revolutionize society!

DR. PAUL: {nasal voice} How will it revolutionize society?

DR. LIIDBURG JR.: How the craxap am I supposed to know? I'm a fan of rhetorical statements. Now, allow me to show you my latest creation without any interruptions!

DR. MYER: {nasal voice} Is it another robot?

DR. LIIDBURG JR.: No. It's not another robot, but it's not really... an organism... Let's quit wasting time so I can snap my fingers to do this!

{Dr. Liidburg Jr. snaps his fingers, making the super-holographic generators behind him shoot out a great number of text. The text spins in a tornado-shape at an increasing speed. Soon, the spinning text turns into white light. Dr. Paul and Dr. Myer shield their eyes from the light. Then the white light is configurated to create a silhouette of a girl.}

DR. LIIDBURG JR.: You can uncover your eyes now. The light won't go away and stop blinding you.

{The two scientists don't uncover their eyes.}

DR. LIIDBURG JR.: {under breath} What I would give to get a decent audience. {normally} Okay, this is my new project, Daisy. It's an artificial life-form that can cross planes of time. Unfortunately, since this is only a prototype, I think this can only cross a set number of planes. Of course, I haven't really sent it into time yet. Any questions?

{Silence.}

DR. LIIDBURG JR.: Right... Well, Daisy is going to be sent to a randomly selected time period, where the project will begin. Daisy will take the form of a human being once it, or preferably she, has arrived at its- her destination. And i- she will be practically uneducated verbally and actively. It can only do essential basic functions (such as breathing), can do essential basic actions (such as walking), but can activate a computer of limited power to have online conversations with nearby people with computers.

DR. MYER: So what's the point in all this? I mean, you're not planning on blinding the beings of the past, right? You're not planning to create a paradox, are you?

DR. LIIDBURG JR.: Well, I guess that's where the destiny craxap comes in, so if you want to resign and be philosophers, be my guests.

{Silence.}

DR. LIIDBURG JR.: That was disappointing. Anyway, when Daisy has conversations with the beings of the past, it will learn what they say, and at first, will reply by repeating after the talker. Soon, it will make sentences from the words it... she has learned, and I guess that's where i... SHE might start to make developed sentences. Also, she will learn to do actions (aside from walking) after learning from (or looking at) other people.

DR. PAUL: Why? Why would you want to do that? Why do you want to make a being that learns how to talk from primitive beings?

DR. LIIDBURG JR.: Well... it's a nice way for people to know how to teach. Also, because it can travel to differnt time periods, it can perhaps teach people of the different time periods.

DR. MYER: Or cause major paradoxes as primitive beings learn inappropriate facts of the future.

DR. LIIDBURG JR.: Shut up! I expect to have fun with this project!

DR. PAUL: This is science! Science is not meant to be fun! It's meant to be boring!

DR. LIIDBURG JR.: Why else do you think I'm trying to revolutionize society? Now, Epsilon Pan, send Daisy to the designated time period and place!

{A crude face appears from the hologram projectors.}

EPSILON PAN: Yes doctor. Did you remember to do your cow-punching exer-

DR. LIIDBURG JR.: How many times do I have to remind you that you're my slave, not my mother?

{Epsilon Pan makes a frown as it disappears. Then the light silhouette disappears in a larger flash of white. Dr. Paul and Dr. Myer finally uncover their eyes. Fade to black.}

{Cut to a wavy, black screen that has several clocks, ticking and gonging, making it look like the clocks are underwater. Suddenly, a ripple is made across the surface of the screen as there's a flash of light. The flash of light strikes a small clock. Zoom in on the clock. Fade to black.}

{Cut to a view of Earth. Zoom in on Earth to show Free Country, USA on a map. Zoom in on Free Country, USA to show The Field (close to the King of Town's grill). The Cheat is seen walking to the grill, quietly singing in his language. There's a small heat wave seen to the left of the grill, grabbing The Cheat's attention. Suddenly, where the heat wave was, there's a flash of light, shocking the screaming The Cheat and making his head explode. The Cheat runs away as the light fades, revealing a girl with purple hair, a head similar in shape to Marzipan's but shorter, completely white eyes, a black shirt with long sleeves (so that her hands aren't seen), and long jeans (so that her feet aren't seen). The girl, Daisy, stands there, breathing. Soon, her eyes widen as a small whirring sound is heard from within Daisy.}

{Cut to Strong Bad in front of his Lappy 486, checking his email.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Did you know that it's the email's first date today? Well neither did I! Nobody cares!

{Strong Bad brings up the following email.}

STRONG BAD: What the crap is this? It's not an email, for it has no salutations, or any of that crap. And it's not something that I would go and rant about on! Lappy, have you been disappointed with me these days?

FEMALE LAPPY: {voice} Oh, just click the link.

STRONG BAD: Whoa. I never expected that to happen. I thought the voice was hibernating.

{Strong Bad, using an unseen mouse, moves the cursor to the link and clicks it, making the screen say the following.}

STRONG BAD: Hmm... this looks... like something I would find on The Cheat's poor excuse of a computer. Or at least, I think it is. Let me try by typing... {typing} So, hey Daisy. How's life?

{The following appears below Strong Bad's text.}

STRONG BAD: Oh! How fast! Clearly, the Lappy knows no limits.

FEMALE LAPPY: {voice} Actually, I kn-

STRONG BAD: Shut up, hibernating voice. Can't you see I'm chatting? Now... {typing} Uh...

{Fade to black. Fade to the Lappy screen, showing the chat. Each reply is shown on the screen some seconds after the previous one.}

{After the last line is shown, cut to show Strong Bad getting up from his chair and leaving the room. Fade to black.}

{Cut to Daisy at The Field, standing at the same place she was before. Daisy's eyes grow smaller. Then Daisy slowly begins walking. Fade to black.}

Fun Facts

  • Daisy's "dialogue" is made from the Daisy chatbot program, which has no knowledge, but is able to gain knowledge from chats. Click here to learn more about the program.
  • 31X7 is a reference to 30X2 (from Other Character Email Tampo).
  • Dr. Liidburg Jr.'s name is a reference to the name Greg Leedberg, the creator of the Daisy program used.
  • "Craxap" is a word used for the word "crap" in 30X1 in Other Character Email Gunhaver.
    • Epsilon Pan is a reference to Alpha Stan, a character from Other Character Email Gunhaver.
    • Epsilon Pan references the Punching Cows running gag that originated from Other Character Email Gunhaver.
  • This is another instance of The Cheat's Head Exploding.
  • Female Lappy is from dreamail. She was heard in the "normal universe" in retirement.
  • Strong Bad and Daisy reference some kinda robot.
  • Strong Bad references DELETED and references how, until the release of strongbad email.exe Disc Five, the Lappy was never shown deleting an email.
  • Strong Bad types </sarcasm> with "bracket, slash, sarcasm, end bracket", referencing the HTML code (although "</sarcasm>" doesn't do anything).
  • Strong Bad references Kicking The Cheat.
Retrieved from "http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Resident_Daisy/1"