Other Character Email The Wheelchair/sick/Commentary
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
STRONG INTELLIGENT: Sup? This is another boring commentary, and it's me and that kid who discrimnated himself! How? He is a germ. This Wheelchair email is about, Sickness.
JERM: Yep, I'm a GeRM all right. There goes The Wheelchair using my word, e-schwa!
STRONG INTELLIGENT: I had this virus once.
JERM: Uh...what the cwud? This is about The Wheelchair getting sick! Or possibly about The Wheelchair calling people racist! But what virus did you get anyway?
STRONG INTELLIGENT: Lack of people e-mailing Strong Man.
JERM: Oh. You know, I find it distubing that this email is centered around a butt virus.
STRONG INTELLIGENT: We all do. {Pause} BLAAAAGH! Thats Crack stuntman 2.0 Or Two.n00b!
JERM: Yeah, I used Teeg Dougland and Crack Stuntman because they were both human characters who could both manipulate wheelchairs.
STRONG INTELIGENT: {Simultaneously} What a strange evil plan.
JERM: And...wow. Crack Stuntman can't even pronounce-slash-remember The's Wheelchair's name. Wow.
STRONG INTELLIGENT: And thats why he's so cool! But why does he like Slash? I mean, he only plays the guitar?!
JERM: Who's slash...is he OVER 9000!!!?? </random reference to an Internet fad>
STRONG INTELLIGENT: Nevermind.... Internet geek. {Begins playing world of warcraft}
WORLD OF WARCRAFT: LEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOY JENKIIIIIIIIIINS!!!!
JERM: Never heard that one before. Anyways, here comes arguably the most disturbing part of the WEmail, where little kids voices come from the ventilation system!
STRONG INTELLIGENT: {Kids voice} New record!
JERM: Nah, it's NEW RECORD!!!! But anyways, I'm seriously beginning to wonder why in the world The Wheelchair would have a bunch of little kids in his basement.
STRONG INTELLIGENT: Well... So do those creepy teachers who teach nursery.
JERM: Hey, if The Wheelchair really did die in this email, would those little kids starve?
STRONG INTELLIGENT: No, I would look after them. Ask me why.
JERM: No thanks...I don't really...want to know that...
STRONG INTELLIGENT: Because kids are cuter than pudding!
JERM: Um...right. And now it looks like The Wheelchair's calling people racist again. I don't really find it racist to wonder if a species can get sick, but umkay.
STRONG INTELLIGENT: Well kids in my school call me racist when I say 'black' so it makes sense to me!
JERM: Right...And here's Teeg Dougland, with bad news as always. Apparently this time he's saying that The Wheelchair, while sick, cannot get the butt virus, and in fact he'll become immune to all diseases if they tried to infect him with it. Of course, it doesn't work this way in real life at all.
STRONG INTELLIGENT: Yes it is! Ever heard of vaccinations! How do you think small pox died out!!!
JERM: Well, no, because you can't get a cold in real life and become immune to lice. Oh, and here's a "to your doom", which is overused and the such.
STRONG INTELLIGENT: Lice are not an illness.
JERM: Whatever, you get what I'm saying anyway.
STRONG INTELLIGENT: Fine. Anyway, The Wheelchair just exploded!
JERM: Wow, you just skipped over a lot! I mean robot. He's a robot!
STRONG INTELLIGENT: Robots are cool.
JERM: Wait, do I ever even explain how The Wheelchair built thAat robot?
STRONG INTELLIGENT: I don't know. Maybe its because he can spell "that" correctly.
JERM: Oh, here's the explanation thAat I was looking for! The Wheelchair apparently programmed the robot using the wall, the lamp, and the generator, and somehow planted TNT that he got from hammerspace under the factory!
STRONG INTELIGENT: It's that. that! THAT!
JERM: I see the correct spelling of that. I understand now. Oh, and Teeg Dougland has some good news! That's totally not out of character for him!
STRONG INTELLIGENT: And I have some bad news. I still haven't got any emails.
JERM: That stinks. Anyways, I find it quite interesting that The Wheelchair can contract Mad Cow Disease. Especially since he isn't a cow.
STRONG INTELLIGENT: Humans can have MCD so can Wheelchairs. StrongIntelligent
JERM: Yeah, I don't know too much about diseases. And what's with the random siggage?
STRONG INTELIGENT: I didn't know I sigged. Anywho, heres Mr.E!
JERM: Yeah, why would Mr. E keep George a hostage for so long, anyway?
STRONG INTELLIGENT: Is Mr. E the present day Shadowy figure?
JERM: No, but even if he was, it would be the present day Sweet Cuppin' Cakes version of Shadowy Figure. But he's a generic Ungurait anyway.
STRONG INTELLIGENT: You just told the world his true identity.
JERM: Oh, apparently you didn't read tech ed, then.
STRONG INTELLIGENT: It made my head hurt.
JERM: 461 lines of pure email. I should mention it took me an hour to proofread it.
STRONG INTELLIGENT: What email is this? Tech Ed or Sick? Hey Chris? HEY!!?
JERM: I think it's...sick. Yeah, that's it. And here's George evil ebil laugh!
STRONG INTELLIGENT: He laughs like Wario.
JERM: No, it sounds more devilish than Wario. Wario does not make you want to kill yourself.
STRONG INTELLIGENT: Master Chief does though.
JERM: No, not really. Hmm...I knew Greek letters when I wrote this? I seemed to have forgotten them now.
STRONG INTELLIGENT: Isn't Eh! Steve greek?
JERM: I don't know. But...The Paper!
STRONG INTELLIGENT: {Quickly} Is it over?
JERM: {Quicklier} Yeah.
