Other Character Email Tampo/master/Commentary

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• The DVD version features a hidden commentary for Tampo Email #21: "master." To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Joshua, Aussie Evil)

JOSHUA: Welcome people. Me and Aussie Evil, who isn't an Aussie or evil, will be commenting on the email that finally answered the big question: "Who is the boss trio's master?"

AUSSIE EVIL: If you are one of the select few, please keep your silence for right now. {pause} It seems like the guy who emailed the Big Three chose that pseudonym on purpose.

JOSHUA: Leaky faucet?

AUSSIE EVIL: Yeah, but let's not argue details now. What matters is that we're heading into murky waters... AKA the taboo...

JOSHUA: I wonder what the punishment would be if the Master found out Tampo said his name.

AUSSIE EVIL: I have no idea. Perhaps being forced to listen to The Spice Girls on endless loop, maybe.

JOSHUA: I think he would use something a bit more... physically painful. Anyway... since the beginning of Tampo Email I had a notice up that said that no one knows who their master is and that maybe you could ask. And for a long time, no one did.

AUSSIE EVIL: I always thought the Master was actually the King of All Cosmos... that is until I saw this. {pause} Does the holo-thingy start now?

JOSHUA: No, we still have to wait a little bit. Tampo and Brody providing a little comic relief by being nervous...

AUSSIE EVIL: Pipey. Tee-hee!

JOSHUA: {pause} Okay, introduction video coming right up. You know, I forgot Stlunko had a hologram projector. He like, uses it here and then we all completely forget about it.

AUSSIE EVIL: Clever metaphor here.

JOSHUA: Yeah... that metaphor was pretty spontanious. Just something that popped inside my head once I decided to use a metroid. You see, I'd been playing a lot of Metroid Prime prior to writing this email... a game that awesome will mess with your head.

AUSSIE EVIL: "The mighty"--? Don't make me laugh. {pause} Identity Hint Number One coming up.

JOSHUA: "The mighty" what? I dont' recall a "The mighty" anywhere... ah, here's the first clue: a construction worker. The average reader might just pass it off as randomness, but if someone was trying to figure out the mystery... that would've been a major clue.

AUSSIE EVIL: {listens} Late shift on one April Fools day, that is. {snickers}

JOSHUA: Yep. April Fools Day. On a construction website. And this is clue number two right here: I fight against Stinkoman... and that's an artists rendering right here. And... smack! Hit right on the head and knocked out. I was being pretty blatant here.

AUSSIE EVIL: "Social Life?" Did he even have one? Hmm... his mind should be mostly on his work--Hey! I was watching that!

JOSHUA: It's okay, the boss trio just needs to explain some stuff. I did this because for one, I didn't want the whole thing to be just a metroid blabbering away, so I decided to mix it up a bit. Also, this is information that I don't think the Master would've wanted to go into details on.

AUSSIE EVIL: Did significant research on the Master? Does ANYONE monitor Stunky's InstaNet usage?

JOSHUA: Well, apparently someone's been recording the Master's history online. Maybe he has an autobiography... or a blog or something.

AUSSIE EVIL: Yeah, maybe. OK, now, big question: Why didn't he get a new face after the nanorepair? Did he ASK to be freaky-looking?

JOSHUA: Who said he's freaky looking? He has a pitch black, round head with a red visor. Pretty evil-looking, but not nessecarily freaky.

AUSSIE EVIL: Alien Species? Why, I saw this one video that featured the Master (or someone like him) battling THOUSANDS of his species (differently colored, of course!)

JOSHUA: I doubt it was the Master himself. He immigrated to Planet K a while back. But I bet there was, like, some kind of war between the Sticklymen on his home planet, with the different color stickmen/nations fighting each other. Just some theorising. Ooh, the movie's back on!

AUSSIE EVIL: Although the Master says he trained in those fields, he just read some "For Dummies" books... I think.

JOSHUA: Well, he did build Stlunko. Or recycle him. Or something.

AUSSIE EVIL: A pretty good job for someone without visible thumbs. {pause} Losing ANY type of challenge? A few challenges come to mind, and two involve Cold Ones.

JOSHUA: Poor Stinkoman, he has an archenemy now, bent on making him lose challenges. Has Stinkoman ever lost a challenge in Tampo Emails? I know he almost did in "lazor beams" and he lost his challenges in "virus"...

AUSSIE EVIL: All your finances are belong to me. You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha ha ha.

JOSHUA: The Master sure did want to make them feel like meaningless nothings, didn't he? And that all your base quote... every series gets an All Your Base quote sometime or other. It's... inevitable.

AUSSIE EVIL: They were meaningless nothings all right. What intrigues me is how Tampo joined forces with The Master in the space between TampoBot's death and Stinkoman's battle.

JOSHUA: It's possible. The video game actually isn't entirely accurate. It's a reenactment of certain events, but it isn't the same. I'll probably go into more detail on that sometime. Like, I'm pretty sure Tampo didn't just float from his body and battle Stinkoman. Also, he can't shrink and grow anymore. That was something I toyed with in early emails... but just ignore that now. It's a lost power. {pause} And now the little minion's intro movie's starting.

AUSSIE EVIL: There's that headcrab again. Yanno, the amazing thing is that the Master failed to take into effect Brody's minions, which are chicken-based.

JOSHUA: Well, this movie very well could have been before Brody joined his ranks. The Master probably thought he'd only have robots under his control, and definitely not li'l chickens. And now his identity is about to be revealed. So tell me, Aussie Evil, did you figure out his identity before Tampo blurted it out, using the clues given?

AUSSIE EVIL: Yes, I did. And... Here it comes... {pause} Ha! There's the name! The name of the Master! Sticklyman! And one more thing: the video I saw? Xiao Xiao No.3. Hah!

JOSHUA: And here's the humble introduction of the Trickster. In his, um... Jaro form. Heh, he was mean to Tampo from the beginning.

AUSSIE: Man, those Jaros... Wait, they have actual personalities?

JOSHUA: Yep. They do. I just barely delve into them. What they don't have is names. They might have some designation, though, but no one is ever heard using it.

AUSSIE: Whoops. Here's one of those UFO-thingies. They look too small to have so deep a voice.

JOSHUA: I have no idea why I decided to not have Kolkaryus and Browntants amoungst Tampo's rank. At one point, sometime after "The Celebration," I decided to limit Tampo's ranks to the current six types. So... I decided to let the Master have the abandoned Kolkaryus.

AUSSIE: {after Kolkaryu says inspection} Doo doo doo doo doo, Inspector Gadget...

JOSHUA: Heh. {pause} And there goes the boss trio, walking off to the next email. ...and now if we wait a little bit, there's a rather lengthly Easter egg that'll be popping- ah, there it is.

AUSSIE: Oh, Jaro #2, you don't know what happened. If only you knew! {fake crying} If only... {sob}

JOSHUA: Look out, Sidekick Bob! He'll poison your thoughts with speaches against Tampo... or something. Well, any last words before this email finally ends?

AUSSIE: Uh... watch my game show?

JOSHUA: And there you have it folks: blantant advertising. This email is over, and I'm out of here.