Other Character Email King of Town/sheep gorge
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Date: April 15, 2006
From: Thatkidsam
Length: 27 Lines
TrueLength: 60 Lines
Characters in order: The King of Town, Homestar Runner, Bubs, Marzipan, Homsar {in easter egg}
Places in order: The Castle, Sheep Gorge, Fiery Pit of Doom, Bubs' Concession Stand, F.C.U.S.A. Business Bureau {in easter egg}
The King of Town takes an invitation to go to Sheep Gorge from Thatkidsam. Life-risking, a ploy, and humor ensues.
Transcript as follows:
KING OF TOWN: Checking e-mails since 2004....it's like a religion. It's a KoT email. {run kingmail.app} What's in the Kingbox today?
subject:Sheep GorgeDear that guy with the moo-stash,
Thatkidsam
I heard there's a place called "Sheep Gorge" with a ton of sheep hanging from ropes! I bet if you jumped, you could eat them, but you'd fall into the fiery pits below. Your choice... Eating and dying, or not dying but not eating delicious sheep.
Can't think of a closing,
KING OF TOWN: You know, Thatkidsam, that actually sounds like a pretty cool idea! Sheep Gorge sounds like a cool place, too! Let me check out where it is first, though. I don't want to be led to a non-existent place, you know!
{The KOT opens up a new browser window on his computer. He types in "Bubsmapaddressesanddirections.muffin", and presses 'Enter'. A colorful webpage reading "Bubs' Directions And Stuff" pops up on the KOT's screen.}
KING OF TOWN: Let's see... Oh. Right there. Well, {he types in "Sheep Gorge, FCUSA" into an address bar} there we go. {he presses "Go" next to the address search bar. A map pops up, with Sheep Gorge marked with a blue star and the location highlighted on the map.}
KING OF TOWN: Doo! Right over there, by The Creepy Cliff! {The King of Town is referring to The Creepy Cliff from Potion-A-Ma-Jig, a real cartoon from HomestarRunner.com.} That's only about six miles away from here. {The King of Town gets up from his chair and faces the camera.} Well, I'd better be going if I want to catch any delicious sheep! {The King of Town heads to his car.}
{cut to Sheep Gorge. We see sheep suspended on ropes above holes in the ground.}"'
KING OF TOWN: Well, it's time to make a decision! {he thinks for a second.} I've never passed up delicious food! Arr, well, I suppose it has to come to this...such is life! {the KoT jumps for a sheep, but he falls in the hole.}
{cut to the Fiery Pit of Doom. Homestar is standing here with a red foglight. The KoT lands.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome to the FIERY PIT OF DOOM, King-type man!
KING OF TOWN: Homestar, what are you doing here? Where's all the fire?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: There's no real fire in the FIERY PIT OF DOOM! I just pretend there is! Or at least Strong Bad does.
KING OF TOWN: Strong Bad's in on this?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yes, King-type man! He was hired by Thatkidsam to hire me to fool you!
KING OF TOWN: Oh, I'm going to get Thatkidsam for this...{The King of Town walks off, going up the ladder out of the pit.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Come back soon, King-type man!
{cut to Bubs' Concession Stand. Bubs is selling "sheep bites from the gorge" for $5 a bite.}
BUBS: Get your sheep bites straight from Sheep Gorge! Only $5 a bite! It's a -25% off sale!
MARZIPAN: -25% is a rip-off.
BUBS: Shut up! No it isn't!
MARZIPAN: Yes it is, and you know it.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: No they aren't, Marzipan! Best $100 I ever spent!
MARZIPAN: Homestar, that only got you twenty bites of sheep. That's not even one lambchop. I can buy you one lambchop for $10! And I hate meat!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Shut up, Marzipan! I'm with the Bubs man!
{The King of Town enters from off-screen.}
BUBS: Hello, King! Would you like to buy a sheep bite or two? Or three? Or fifty?
KING OF TOWN: Bubs, are you involved in any, let's say, "shady dealings" with Thatkidsam? {Bubs is visibly worried.}
BUBS: What shady deals? I don't know of any shady deals, do you know of any shady deals, Homestar?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Of course I do, Bubsie! You were in on one with Thatkidsam involving those sheep--
BUBS: Shut up! I'm not doing anything wrong!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: In fact, now that I think about it, I agree with Marzipan! Rip-off! Rip-off! Rip-off! Isn't that right, Marzipan? {Marzipan is gone.} Oh...I guess she left.
KING OF TOWN: How pathetic. {The King of Town walks off screen.}
{Cut to the Computer Room, at The Castle.}
KING OF TOWN: {typing} Thatkidsam, that was low. That was so low, it wasn't even in the King's strike zone. In fact, I think I'm going to report you to the F.C.U.S.A. Business Bureau! Is there even one? I don't know! But either way, if you fool me once, I'm fooled. If you fool me twice...I'm still fooled. I've got nothing. Bye!
{The Parchment comes down.}
Fun Facts
"Arr, well, I suppose it has to come to this...such is life." were the final words of Australian outlaw and folk hero Ned Kelly before he was executed, and it would make sense that the KoT would say this, as he prepared to risk his life (or so he thought) trying to catch sheep.
"-25% off!" could be considered a reference to 25% off sales commonly held at department stores in the United States and elsewhere.
Easter Eggs
After The Parchment comes down, click on 'F.C.U.S.A. Business Bureau' to see a scene with Homsar.
HOMSAR: DaAaAaA! Come to the F.C.U.S.A. Business Bureau, and shave off your extra pickles for freeeeee! {Jingle music plays.}
