Other Character Email Gunhaver/Email Rap archives
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
EMAILS 93 - 100
{Cut to Gunhaver in front of the Alpha 1260. He types in "open_menu.exe" to bring up the menu. Suddenly, beatboxing is heard. A pixelated figure appears on the Alpha 1260 screen and begins breakdancing.}
GUNHAVER: Procrast-{pauses}-ination. Procrat-{pauses}-ination. They're {pause} so cool! They go up, and down. Left, and right. Procrat-{pauses}-ination! Yeah!
{The beatboxing stops while the pixelated figure on the Alpha 1260 screen disappears. Then there's a pause.}
GUNHAVER: Wait a minute! Did I just confuse scroll buttons with procrastination again??? Oh man! I wasted my money on making procrastination look good!
EMAILS 81 - 92
{Gunhaver types in "open_menu.exe" to make email menus pop up on the Alpha 1260's screen}
GUNHAVER: No matter what happens to us, I will never sell scroll buttons in order to pay off our enormous debts!
EMAILS 77 - 80
{Gunhaver types in "open_menu.exe" to make email menus pop up on the Alpha 1260's screen}
GUNHAVER: Wait a minute. You mean scroll buttons are real??? I thought they were some imaginative idea for people! That's... cool.
EMAIL 76
{Gunhaver types in "open_menu.exe" to make email menus pop up on the Alpha 1260's screen}
GUNHAVER: Checka-checka latte! Checka-checka latte! Checka-checka latte! Scroll buttons taste better than coffee! {Pause} Wait, do they?
EMAILS 73 - 75
{Gunhaver types in "open_menu.exe" to make the email menu pop up}
GUNHAVER: Steal all the scrolla-steala that steals all the scrolla stealing all the buttons to the top of the dome of the scroll button raps!
EMAILS 70 - 72
{Cut to The Screen, which is displaying the menu with the 70 emails. After ten seconds, Ryenold appears}
RYENOLD: Hello. I'm not making a lot of appearances, but I think scroll buttons are extremely cool, like me.
{Ryenold walks off-screen}
EMAIL 69
{Gunhaver goes to a futuristic shelf. He presses a button to make 69 capsules, all with the titles of the 69 emails, appear on the shelf}
GUNHAVER: What is better than scroll buttons? Let me tell you what! It's nothing! {stops rapping} I mean, you have to reach freakin' high to reach the emails on the top shelf!
EMAILS 63 - 68
{Gunhaver is on the Alpha 1260. After typing, the email menu pops up}
GUNHAVER: Buttons scroll buttons the scroll of the great big muttons!
EMAILS 53 - 62
{Gunhaver is on the Alpha 1260. Alpha Stan is on the screen. After typing, the email menu pops up.}
GUNHAVER: Stuck in the past with the Alpha, yo! Stuck in the past with the scroll buttons, go!
EMAIL 52
{Gunhaver (on The Screen) types in "run "Cheat Commandos Email" before pressing enter. Then he clicks on Gunhaver to make the menu pop up}
GUNHAVER: When your computer goes boom, smash, or something, The Screen is here! And I think that this also has scroll buttons! {quietly} Wow, that didn't have any rhymes.
EMAILS 37-51
{Gunhaver types in "Open_menu.exe" on the Delta 1001 to make the email menu pop up before singing}
GUNHAVER: Scroll buttons are good. They move you up and down.
EMAILS 32-36
{Gunhaver types in "Open_menu.exe" on the Delta 1001 to make the email menu pop up}
GUNHAVER: You gotta scroll it up, you gotta scroll it down. You gotta scroll it fast, until it's almost burnt like brown.
EMAILS 31
{Gunhaver is on The Widescreen (in 20X5.5). He presses some buttons to make the menu appear.}
GUNHAVER:You got to scroll! Otherwise, I'll come and make you into a troll! Or maybe not.
EMAILS 23-30
{Gunhaver types in "Open_menu.exe" on the Delta 1001 to make the email menu pop up}
GUNHAVER: Click it, move it, and so now you will scroll it!
EMAILS 22 and 23
{Shim-Sham-Sam types in "Open_menu.exe" on the Delta 1001 to make the email menu pop up)
SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Welcome to U.S.S.S. Emails, where I am your captain, Shim-Sham-Sam.
EMAIL 21
{Reynold types in "Open_menu.exe" on the Delta 1001 to make the email menu pop up}
REYNOLD:Well, here are the emails. I am the substitute, Reynold.
EMAILS 15-20
{Gunhaver types in "Open_menu.exe" on the Delta 1001 to make the email menu pop up}
GUNHAVER: I got a new computer, and it's been trained in the scroll button arts!
EMAIL 14
{Gunhaver is on The Screen. He types 'run "Cheat Commandos Email"' to make the menu appear. Then he clicks on Gunhaver: # to show the list of emails.}
GUNHAVER: Welcome to the scroll button. Scroll all you want. You freakin' idiot, well, maybe.
EMAILS 10-13
GUNHAVER: All right! I got my Orange back! And I also got scroll buttons! Scroll-a, scroll-a, scroll-a, SCROLL... la.
EMAILS 8 - 9
{Gunhaver is on The Screen. He types 'run "Cheat Commandos Email"' to make the menu appear. Then he clicks on Gunhaver: # to show the list of emails.}
GUNHAVER: Man! That took a long time. I miss the Orange 02, and I never even got any scroll buttons!
EMAILS 1-7
GUNHAVER: All right! I got an email! Let's rock, rock on!
NO EMAILS
GUNHAVER: Uh, I think this is an email rap I should do. Problem is, I don't have a stupid email. Okay, I'll wait, unless I have to save the world from Blue Laser. Yep, I'll wait.
