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"Yes, I, Astromund 529, am very special. Deny that and I'll... er... do something painful to you!"

Hosted on www.sssblogs.muffin

Look, if you want a Halloween message from me, then I'm sorry to tell you that Astromunds don't celebrate the holiday, and that is not influenced by Master Nebulon in anyway. It has to do with our ancestor Astromund, Astroman, who... forget it. I'm probably going to get a lot of emails that'll flame me about stuff, literally. I've seen an email that has burnt down an entire metropolis.

Anyway, sorry that I was gone for 9 days. Y'see, the Poorbt guards holding me in the cell have forced me to read the entire "Kid Radd" series, from the original "Kid Radd" to "Kid Radd X2". Shudder. Let me tell you kids. Sequels SUCK! Look what they did to "Dangeresque 2345252: The 2345252nd Movie in the Series"! Not pretty. Just some fat guys, unoriginality, and unrealisticness. Plus, there are no jokes. Dry humor. Anyway, I'm planning to make a new blog page soon, but since I'm in jail and am using the computer installed in all Kolkyrus (including Kolky), it's a little too complicated for such a simple computer. I mean, a Windows XQ??? What were the past people thinking? Man, they're such cavemen!

Anyway, the Poorbts are back, coming to put me back to where I left off in the "Kid Radd" marathon. Oh wait, they don't have a hologram projector and a straightjacket. Maybe it's something new.

POORBT GUARD: Master Saargtsson wants to see you.

ME: Why?

THE OTHER POORBT GUARD WHOSE NAME IS JOE: Well, since you're the prisoner and Master Saargtsson is the "villain", he wants to see you to taunt you and tell you his plans for no reason at all.

ME: Well, tell him that this is real life, not a movie, morons!

POORBT GUARD WHO IS NOT JOE: Well, why won't you tell that to him yourself?

ME: Fine! I will!

JOE: {from a distance} Sucker. I knew he'd go talk to him. You owe me $X0.

NOT JOE: {from a distance} Oh man!

So, I go into Saargtsson's room, which smells like lava, rock, and other stuff related to fire and rocks. Gee, I should have taken Geology class after all.

SAARGTSSON: Ssssssshut the door.

ME: Okay. {pause} So what do you want, Saargtssdork?

SAARGTSSON: That wasssssn't funny at all! Before I tell you my ultimate plan for no reassssssssson at all, I will tell you the full ssssssssstory of my life to make you ssssssssuffer.

OH GOD! NO!

Current mood: OH GOD! NO!

Current flash movie: OH GOD! NO! - Someone who thinks jokes shouldn't be repeated more than twice

2:59 PM... 2:59 PM... 2:59 PM... 2:59 PM... 2:59 PM... 2:59 PM... 2:59 PM... 2:59 PM... 2:59 PM... only one second, and YES! I'm out of... NO! 2:59 PM... What the crap is happening?

MASTER NEBULON: Hmm... apparently, the clock's screwed up. Well, this'll prolong class. I guess I'll tell you about how I beat Tampo in arm-wrestling.

ASTROMUND 674: But Tampo doesn't have arms!

{ZAP!}

So, I'm here at Nebulon's School for Elite Astromunds. We're usually released at 3 PM, but for some freaking reason, 89 seconds, and 99 milliseconds, 65 microseconds, 23 nanoseconds, 74 picoseconds, 57 femtoseconds, and 97 attoseconds have passed since 2:59 PM and it's STILL 2:59! BTW, femtoseconds and attoseconds exist. Master Nebulon knows all.

Okay, so 623 seconds, 454 milliseconds, and... ah what the heck. A long amount of time (or maybe just about 10 minutes) has passed and it's STILL 2:59. I think something EVIL is going on. I need to investigate for some Astropoints! I'm already low on Astropoints from the events of that one horrid week with the meteor and such.

ME: Master Nebulon, can I go to the bathroom?

MASTER NEBULON: Eh, whatever.

So, Kolky and I flew around the moon to see what is causing this halt in time. Anyway, using Kolky's sensors, I learned that the moon was not rotating (Moons can rotate??? Yes, they can. 101%). So, Kolky flew us to the other side of the moon, and that's where I saw 1000 Astropoints calling for me. Of course, that's just a manisfestation for a large machine stopping the moon's rotation. And guess who is there waiting for me. None other than... er... a Poorbt. Just how the heck do those things survive in space anyhow?

ME: Hey! You!

POORBT: 'Sup?

ME: Yeah. Look, can you take this machine back to Planet K? I just want to win some Astropoints and want to get out of school posthaste.

POORBT: No can do. Boss' orders.

ME: Let me guess. Saargtsson is behind this.

POORBT: Of course.

Things are getting interesting here.

ME: So, how about this. We fight, and the loser is in the mercy of the winner.

POORBT: Okay.

Okay, so in my cell room, the last thing Kolky recorded was a bunch of Gaspeaus flying right at us. So, I'm in a rut. At least the rut will pay off. Mmm... rut money.

Current mood: Optimistic

Current flash movie: Hickory, Dickory Clock - Some Old Person

Today, Mrs. Mama Nebulon, Master Nebulon's mother, came to visit and gave us cookies. It turns out the cookies were poisonous. We all died.

Okay, I lied. I was just trying to arouse the readers' interest. And now, I will collect your interest.

Okay... maybe I should stop it with the jokes. They should stop here right now!

So, we found out why Master Nebulon was treating us, especially the Astromunds and especially me, like crap. He was on medication. He said this:

MASTER NEBULON: Hey Astromunds. Sorry about...

Oops! I'll fast-forward from here. He drones on about how he treated us crappily, which was what I put in the last blog entry and... Oh! Here we go:

MASTER NEBULON: ...you see, I was tired from having people say to me that my style sucks, especially 1-Up, whose brain is worse than my style. So, I had this medicine called "Style Enhancer" that I bought from a Chorch. Then I went mental and mistreated Astromunds.

ASTROMUND 356: Excuse me, Master Nebulon. Do you have any information about the Chorch who gave you the medicine?

MASTER NEBULON: Well, we know that only a few people I know have Chorches: Tampo, Saargtsson (he "has" one), and Ekersby. So, I'll just say that it was Tampo's fault. Tomorrow, we're going to invade Tampo's Lunar Warehouse.

ASTROMUND 234: But Tampo's on Planet K with Saargtsson!

ME: I knew it! I was Saargtsson all along!

{ZAP!}

ME: AH!!!

MASTER NEBULON: Quiet, you buffoon! We'll attack Tampo no matter what!

ASTROMUND 654: But tomorrow's Movie Day!

ASTROMUND 674: And Tuesday is the Now-Weekly-Entertain-Nebulon-the-Best-you-Can-for-Nothing-Day.

Okay, you know what? That was improvised, again. A bad improvisation at that, since Master Nebulon zapped me, but I control the story. Oh no! That merchant Chorch must have given me some of the illegal medicines! I need to get out of here!

Current mood: AGLDFHSDFDLSDLF!

Current flash movie: Istanbul - Constantinople

Hey guys. Sorry that I didn't update for a week as well as not updaing on the Sunday when I was supposed to. But, it turns out that Master Nebulon is working us hard on something. I don't know what, but I have a feeling it may have to do with Saargtsson and the Space Hoover. I don't know yet, but I will go through the trouble of telling you about last week before telling about today.

DAY 1: October 9, 20X6 (Sunday)
So, I went to my house (which is expensive by Astromund standards, so, not a penthouse or anything like that, but I like things to be casual) and played video games. Y'know, like... this new game called Tampo's Testings. It's where I repeatedly kill Stinkoman. It's pretty nice, since my lifelong dream is to kill Stinkoman, as you can see in my comments page. Speaking of which, I see only Brody gave me a comment. No offense to Brody, or anything. I think he's pretty cool, but he's Tampo's friend, and Master Nebulon hates Tampo, and I'm supposed to agree with Master Nebulon. Anyway, I guess I played too much video games. Cause next thing I know, Master Nebulon came and started charging us bills for ridiculous stuff. I had to clean his ENTIRE WAREHOUSE in order to pay for playing video games for 3 hours! By the way, the cleaning took 6. {shudder} You do NOT want to know what's in the basement!

DAY 2: October X, 20X6 (Monday)
I hate Mondays. As soon as I woke up, a missile was sent flying into the area near my house and all of the elite Astromunds (me included) were unconscious for 75% of the day. Monday ala Garfield. Anyway, when we woke up, Master Nebulon gave us detention for being attacked by a missile for the rest of the day. I swear. Master Nebulon's acting weird these days. He's usually not that hostile.

DAY 3: October 10, 20X6 (Tuesday)
Today is the Triannual-Entertain-Nebulon-the-Best-you-Can-for-Nothing-Day. Okay, so Master Nebulon just made up the holiday. Basically, his minions have to entertain for him for some prize called "honor". Just what the crap is honor anyway? Some sort of necklace? Anyway, the Downtants', Updants', and the Piedmonts' flashing light display was impressive up to the point when their light became too intense, that everyone (including the Astromunds with visors) was blinded for an hour. The Down/Uptants and Piedmonts were disqualified. Good. I hate those creeps anyway! Next were the Bendini Sisters with their jump off a building act. They were pretty good at it. Too bad they can't do an encore for Master Nebulon. Then were the Kolkayrus with their flashing light and flying display. I had to use all of my effort to restrain Kolky from joining the group and getting spotted by Master Nebulon. Perhaps this was why our (the Astromunds) pyramid act was a mess when I was the base. Wait a minute. Why were the Astromunds forced into a pyramid instead of some Kung Astru? Things are getting suspicious.

DAY 4: October 11, 20X6 (Wednesday)
Well, today's when I go partrol the moon. I saw nothing while flying in Kolky (you remember him, right?). All of the sudden, a ship that looks like Batman and some Mexican wrestler came and the pilot of the ship asked me where Chuck E. Challenges was. I gave him the directions. Only after he left did I realize that he was Stinkoman. So, I chased after him until Kolky ran out of gas. So, I was left stranded on some meteor.

DAY 5: October 12, 20X6 (Thursday)
Believe me. Living on a meteor for a day is NOT fun. What are those activity directors back at home thinking??? Of course, they are Uptants, and they're not necessarily bright. All they do is flash and shoot green laser balls. So, I ate some meteor dirt. It's a good thing Astromunds are modified so they never need to use the bathroom.

DAY 6: October 13, 20X6 (Blursday)
Well, isn't this great? On Blursday the 13th, the meteor crashes into Master Nebulon's Space Hoover 944550 and destroys it, RIGHT when Master Nebulon says he likes the vacuum. That's funny, since I heard Mater Nebulon complaining about his new Space Hoover through my wristwatch that enables me to talk to Master... Wait a minute. If I could talk to him, why didn't he save me? Things are getting weird. Or maybe Master Nebulon's on medication. Either way, Astromunds are definitely not getting the Minion of the Month Award this month. And I'm definitely going to have detention.

And so, here I am, grounded. That's my blog entry.

Current mood: Grr...

Current flash movie: Jibneous Maximus - Sammyman

Sorry for the four day delay, but, Master Nebulon got angry at us for replacing his Space Hoover with a better one and gave us free time only on the weekends. That sucks! So, here I am, typing my first blog entry out of two this weekend. Anyway, there's also the fact that I'm busy at homework and school. Yes, I still go to school. It's a special school, for elite Astromunds. It's basically a school you need to go to in order to prove that you're an elite Astromund, like me. It's called Nebulon's School for Elite Astromunds. Here. I'll show you the invitation I got some years ago.

Dear Mr. 529, I am pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Nebulon's School for Elite Astromunds. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.
Term begins on August 16. We await your Kolkayru by no later than August 1.
Yours sincerely,
NEBULON! (principal and teacher)

We learn about stuff, like, how to fight, how to kill, how to use a cannon arm surgically built into your free arm, how to still use your cannon arm and shield arm for regular uses besides fighting, Master Nebulon's history, how to worship Master Nebulon, and circles. Yep, we learn about circles at least twice every class. Of course, when Nebulon had to visit his mother, he taught us this in our shortest class ever. Here's an audio footage of the shortest lesson, which'll be on the blog in text.

NEBULON: Circles are the meaning of life.

Huh? I thought circles were the meaning of doughnuts. Of course, Master Nebulon's the teacher here, but I think his teaching is just cock and bull! Whoops! I hope Master Nebulon won't view this blog entry! If he does, I think this'll be a reason for no free time for me at all! Man, I feel bad all of the sudden with this blog entry! Maybe I need to refresh my mind for a more legal blog entry tomorrow. See ya.

Current mood: Uh-oh

Current flash movie: Bonus Stage Episode #101: BONUS STAGE LIVES ON WITH MATT WILSON III! - Matt Wilson III

Okay. No need to worry about Kolky people. It turns out that some Poorbts took over Hallway X2.5 and the Astromunds, Master Nebulon, and I had to fight them. After that, Master Nebulon decided to go to the Moon Spa, so, Kolky is saved! YAY!!

I wonder why the Poorbts tried to invade the hallway. But I remembered that that was the Forbidden Hallway. As in, if one of our atoms is in the hallway without permission, Master Nebulon will kill us and our friends. OUCH! Anyway, so I went and broke a rule, but that's okay. To my peers, I'm just being impressive (not that I was spotted by anyone, besides Kolky, who I brought along with me on my journey)! Okay, I should stop using emoticons now. Anyway, I went down the hallway and found a single metallic door. I opened it... and suddenly... I was sucked into a Space Vacuum. Really. I was. The Space Hoover 94454X was RIGHT next to the warehouse and I got trapped without even remembering the existance of the Space Hoover that was RIGHT in the open.

So, this is where I am now, making my blog, inside the Space Hoover with Kolky, who got sucked into the vacuum too. Anyway, I should start finding out a way to get myself out of the Hoover. Oh, and weapons don't work. I've seen Tampo, Brody, Stlunko, Saargtsson, Master Nebulon, The Liekand, Ice Machine, Ekersby, and Harvax #17 failing to destroy a Space Hoover with a combined attack! So, I'm in a rut. And when Master Nebulon comes back... I'll just say that it was Astromund 77. That troublemaker always causes trouble. I wonder why he's not executed yet. Wait, I hear voices. Let me see if my computer can identify these voices.

POORBT 54438: Okay boss. We're here. The Space Hoover.

POORBT 640: Excellent. We finally found it. And you thought of invading a hallway inside this warehouse that led to this vacuum left wide in the open!

POORBT 2455: It was his idea!

POORBT 640: Anyway, now, let's bring the Space Hoover back to the Lava Zone.

POORBT 2455: But, isn't this heavy?

POORBT 640: Don't worry. Saargtsson provided us with a squad of Buff-Poorbts. Here they come now.

Oh great, now the Buff-Poorbts are lifting up the Space Hoover. I wonder what Saargtsson is going to use this for. Whatever it is, it's valuable information. So, I'll just stay in here, eavesdrop, and learn some important information that can be used to...

Okay guys, I'm back. I'd tell you how I got out of the Space Hoover, but it's a very disappointing tale. The Master blew it up, saying that he's giving Master Nebulon the new Space Hoover 944550. The Poorbts were shooed away and Kolky and I managed to not be caught. So, all's well ends well. Although I missed out on a great adventure. Whatever.

Current mood: Reliecitointed (relieved, excited, and disappointed, doofus)

Current flash movie: Nothing. I went through an adventure, DUH! - X604 ERROR! FLASH AUTHOR NOT FOUND

Today is a very grave day. X1 years ago, there was this thing called a Wiki War that was started because of a school or two and some people and some "construction workers". People got mad and then they left "Earth" after the war. Well, today, the war tradition found its way to the moon. A bunch of Master Nebulon's minions made up of Astromunds, Bendini Sisters, Piedmonts, Uptants, and Downtants were in a group known as the X9th Rebellion. They caused a lot of havoc in the last few years. Well, today, Master Nebulon, some elite Astromunds, and I caught the leader and had the leader Astromund (who turned out to be Astromund 640, my friend! So I will never show him my new GIFs!) executed. I'm still mourning for the loss of my dear friend, my only friend, since I'm not good at making friends. Well, except for this one Kolkayru I adopted and rechristianed Kolky. Speaking of Kolky, I'll divert the subject of this blog from the grave rebellion and the death of my friend to talking about Kolky.

So, Kolky is a Kolkayru that was recycled by Master Nebulon's master named The Master. Kolky was kind of disabled, since it was smaller than the rest and had a speaking impediment. It talked in Robish while all the Kolkayrus are supposed to talk in English. After Kolky was recycled and I was hunting for Power Crunches on Planet K, I found Kolky and adopted him. He's a pretty good flyer, since he can fly me to the moon in less than 3 minutes, no matter where on Planet K I am. I wish he'd break his record to less than 2. Oh well. Anyway, Kolky's a great fighter too. When I summon him in a fight, he always comes and shoots his "energy balls" down at the enemy. Of course, sometimes, when I win a battle, Kolky would still think I'm fighting, and I would be forced to raise my shield for cover. I guess he needs more training. And of course, there's the fact that Master Nebulon disapproves of me owning a Kolkayru "stolen" from The Master, so obviously, Master Nebulon hates Kolky. Anyway, Kolky is currently having his oil bath in Master Nebulon's tub and... Oop! There's Master Nebulon in my wristwatch thing again!

Crap! Master Nebulon's going to the bathroom to have a bath in the same bathroom where Kolky is having his oil bath! I'd better get to the bathroom first instead of clean up his throne so two of my best (and only) friends won't be killed by Nebulon today! g2g!

Current mood: Depressed

Current flash movie: A random sad toon - Hysterical Woman

Well, the Astromunds, Master Nebulon, and I are back from our mission, which was a big waste of time. It turns out that a bunch of Bendini Sisters were just doing bungee jumping for fun. I hope they die! Wait, they're already dead. Whatever. Anyway, I got the following options for this blog:

• Emoticons
• More space to write my entries
• This thing that allows me to make this blog by just talking, which means my typing days are over, and that's good, since my best typing score was 24% and 13 WPM. And I should end the line here

Anyway, let me talk about what happened today, since I didn't get to do that last entry. So, today was an ordinary day. Master Nebulon does the Daily Astromund Check-Up to see that we're not wanting to join Tampo, Brody, and Stlunko and that we're still effecient and we like his style (my butt). Then we had our free time. I went to a Fortune Astromund Teller for fun. When I asked him for my future, he gave me this sprite comic. I thought it looked good, but it looked like the fortune teller was planning to make a series of me fighting. BTW and FYI, I know that Poorbt. That's Poorbt 706, the one who has a Chorch for a bullet. But really, why did the fortune teller pick me to be on the losing side? And why do we look weird when we're jumping towards each other? Why oh, here comes another Astromund, Astromund 640.

ASTROMUND 529: Hey Astromund 640. What's up?

ASTROMUND 640: Oh, not much. Hey, what's that?

ASTROMUND 529: Oh, that's my blog I just started. Like it?

ASTROMUND 640: Dude, it SUCKS! It looks EXACTLY like Homsar's Blog...

ASTROMUND 529: And I have no idea what you're talking about.

ASTROMUND 640: ...and no animated GIFs! Forget your blog! I'm outta here!

Jeez! What a creep! And he thinks he can boss an elite Astromund around! Actually, he is an elite Astromund, but, I WAS ELITE ASTROMUND FIRST! Whatever. I'll end the blog here and look for these jifs. Or GIFs. However you pronounce it.

Current mood: Tired, confused, disappointed, and now angry

Current flash movie: The same flash movie that's playing over and over again - Shim-Sham-Sam

Hello everyone. Well, Master Nebulon just gave me this probably crappy computer. At least it has the InstaNet automatically installed without any of those modems from the past. Anyway, I accidentally went to SSSBlogs.muffin, since that's the homepage, and using the muffin page, I made this, the probable disaster of a blog. I mean, I'm just an Astromund. So what? What makes me so special is that I'm Astromund 529.

So I should start talking about myself. Well, I am like the other Astromunds, only I'm not. I am an elite Astromund, which means I get this cannon arm that can shoot stuff at other people for missions, for reinforcing crap, and for fun, which I like! Anyway, aside from the cannon arm that makes me look more like I'm a relative of a Poorbt (which may or may not be true. If it is, it's classified information, doofus), I wear a white Astromund suit and this wristwatch that is used for Master Nebulon to talk to me and OOP! Master Nebulon wants to talk to me right now!

Bad news people. It looks like I have to cut the first blog entry here. Master Nebulon wants me to blast some stuff and lead a bunch of incompetent Astromunds. Plus, I'm starting to run out of space for my entry. I ought to ask for more space by secretly using Master Nebulon's money. And maybe I should be able to use emoticons. Okay, bye!

Current mood: Excited

Current flash movie: The 70th Gunhaver Email - Shim-Sham-Sam