Da Huuuuuudge's Blog/1

Date: 01:30, 20 December 2007 (UTC)
Current mood: Kinda Joyous
Stuff Absorbed: Fruitcake and a Nerf basketball

Hello there, internet guys. We've been having a Decemberween party at the Free Country Zoo. It was really awesome. We were dancing and having a good time, and Grumberto got up on the table and started breakdancing, which is hard when you have only three feet which are on your chin. Then we played some Decemberween basketball with a Nerf basketball so Smunderling wouldn't choke on it, but instead I ended up absorbing it. We ate tons of stuff, and I practically wiped out the fruitcake bar. Yum. So, the DWeen party has been going on strong, and it's gonna go on until DWeen Eve. {Insert zoo promo here.} Yeah, um, and then we found out that the Striped Green Rabbit with Two Butts is dating a girl Striped Green rabbit with Two Butts! They plan to hitch up in January. Also, did you know? Eggs are not a fruit! I heard that from Stnank 4.

Anyways, I have to go. It's dinnertime. POFN!

Date: 15:29, 19 December 2007 (UTC)
Current mood: Kinda bored
Stuff Absorbed: Nothing

Hey there people. I know a lot of interesting and life-changing stuff has happened this week, it's been pretty crazy. But today only a few things happened. Shall I tell you them?

Kay, so this morning, the nose-faced possum ran away and a few zookeepers found him in the heat tank for the lizards. He really liked the heat, and started shedding. SHEDDING and POSSUM! Another thing happened in the Aquarium. A Gray fish walked onto the land to escape the Deep-Sea Fangly Fish. It was awesome, I hear. And another something happened to Sterrance. He was eating some kind of vine when it snapped and tied him up for an hour!

I have to go, it's feeding time. I'm starving!

Date: 18:27, 18 December 2007 (UTC)
Current mood: Exhausted
Stuff Absorbed: Some dog food and a pool table

HI THERE! Okay, today what happened was that a box of abandoned puppies found its way into the zoo overnight, and they ran thoughout the zoo. When I woke up this morning, all the puppies were snuggled up next to me. Awwwwwwww... anyways, when the zookeepers came in to feed me, the puppies were racing around tearing up my enclosure and havng fun being absorbed by me and spat out. What could the zookeepers do? They decided that I would be a foster parent for the puppies for a while. They all look like they're cookie jars for some reason. When the keepers brought in some dog food for them, I tried a bit and I'M ADDICTED to the stuff. ADDICTION HAZARD! So I absorbed the whole dang bowl. Then the puppies ate it out of my skin. Eeww... And then I played some pool while they ate. And I absorbed the whole dang pool table. I must have been pretty hungry. Pretty soon I was kind of full, and the puppies still wanted to play. So, what did I do? I passed them on to El Pardack, because he's always wanted children. SO, them puppies got a home, and I got back to normal life. Yet again. So, bye. POFN!

Date: 12:16, 17 December 2007 (UTC)
Current mood: Was gasping for breath almost
Stuff Absorbed: A sock and an ABA (artifical breathing apparatus)

Hey there, peoples of the web, I got some interesting news from today... I ABSORBED A SOCK AND NEARLY ASPHIXIATED TO DEATH!
...
That's right, today I absorbed a sock. It was a delicious tube sock, but apparently it got stuck in my windpipe, and I nearly died. It happened this morning, I had absorbed the sock and began to cough and hack. A zookeeper (I think his name was Tubbs) noticed I was choking and rushed me to the zoo hospital. There I lay for an hour or so because the Dortuguese Stnank had tied itself in a knot and everyone was busy. Then they rushed me into the operating room and pulled out THE SPOON! See, cause I'm made of gelatin. So they scooped their way to my windpipe and they used an ABA (artificial breathing apparatus) to keep me from falling off the edge of life, and then they opened the windpipe with a *SHKHKHNRKRN* like someone opening a letter. Suddenly, I absorbed the ABA and they almost quickly pulled it out, but it was too late. I started flopping around convulsively and they had to tie me down. Then, a surgeon finally extracted the sock and threw it away. I immediately started to recover, but the ABA was still inside me, so they reached down my skin and it took ten surgeons to pull it out. I stopped flopping and was breathing normally. They closed me up and carted me to my enclosure again, making sure it was free of all foreign matter. And here I am. Alive and well. Wait, the zookeeper said to rest for a while. Okay, geez. And why, you might ask, did I swallow the sock? I was hungry. Okay, I gotta go. Once again, PEACE OUT!

Date: 16:16, 16 December 2007 (UTC)
Current mood: Excited
Stuff Absorbed: A barrel of pork rinds and a wad of hair

Well, hello there, internets. I just got a blog, this one. Somehow, I won a free computer in the Free Country, USA Zoo raffle, and the keepers delivered it and here I am. Now, today's goings on.

Today this old man with a crown fell into the enclosure. He was carrying a barrel of pork rinds. I thought "Man, am I lucky" and absorbed the whole thing. While he was trying to get out(which took him a long time, since he could barely jump), I got some of his mustache too. That's the most exciting thing that happened so far today. But I'll tell you a bit more about the zoo life.

I live in an enclosure with black metal railing, and every noon they reel down on a rope a basket of fruit and vegetables for me to eat. Eh, it's okay, but I'd much rather have stuff like I got today, pork rinds, mmmmmm. Sometimes, they let another zoo animal into my enclosure to play. Yesterday the Red Steckled Elbermung came in and we played some hockey. Because I'm endangered, there are very few of me. I wish I had some friends of my own species, but for now I'm fine. I'm not supposed to be fed by visitors because it will make me fat, they say, but I'm already a blob. Geez. Okay, I guess I have to go, I'm sticking up the keyboard. For now, peace out!