X is the new Y/4

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

About

Everyone wants to watch a RRR-rated movie. The group embarks on their first big task.
CAST: Bubs, Coach Z, Marissa, Xaviar, the cheat, Strong bad, Yvonne, Senor Cardgage, Homestar
SETTING: The living room, The girls room, the photo booth, The movie theatre, The (indoor) concession stand, the theatre

Transcript

{cuts to the living room, a small orange room with red walls. coach z and bubs are pushing a couch off screen. the cheat walks onscreen, holding a purple perch marissa and xaviar are sitting on}

BUBS: Hey, missy. Thanks for the twenty bucks!

COACH Z: Yeah! I needed some more jock straps.

MARISSA: {jumping off the perch} {disgusted} Erm... you're welcome?

{the two finally push the couch offscreen.}

MARISSA: Okay, you can put it down here.

{the cheat lifts up the stand, and puts it on the ground. he pants}

YVONNE: {offscreen} Come on! Get in there!

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} And why should I?

YVONNE: Fisty says why! {the doorway suddenly opens. after a smacking noise is heard, strong bad flies through the door, hitting the ground head first. yvonne walks in}

XAVIAR: I'm glad you could all make it.

STRONG BAD: Are you trying to get me to watch some slide show?

XAVIAR: No. Marissa brought up an interesting similarity with you all.

THE CHEAT: {confused the cheat noises}

XAVIAR: No. You all want to see Axe Gun, but none of you are senior citisens.

MARISSA: So, with your agreement, you must help us sneak into the movie.

XAVIAR: Simple. I've made a little list of things for you all to get.

STRONG BAD: I am not going shopping.

XAVIAR: These are all things you should be able to get easily. {points at marissa} You get a tan sun hat, some red lipstick, and some fancy-schmancy outfit on.

MARISSA: Will red nail polish work?

XAVIAR: You're putting it on your lips. {points at yvonne} You, get a frying pan, a butter knife, and a brown fedora. Oh, and undo your pony tail.

YVONNE: Consider it done.

XAVIAR: {points at the cheat} Go steal homestars worker outfit, and buy a black wig from bubs.

THE CHEAT: {excited meh}

XAVIAR: {points at strong bad} And you are in charge of an oversized tan trench coat, and your 'nun-chuck gun'.

STRONG BAD: Dangeresque never goes u-

MARISSA: You aren't in your sunglasses.

STRONG BAD: Um...

XAVIAR: Just get to work.

{cuts to the girls room. yvonne is sitting patiently on the bed, digging through a purple purse. marissa is throwing sun hats out of the closet.}

MARISSA: There she is! {stops throwing sun hat, picks up a tan sun hat. a small red feather is on it.} Will this work?

YVONNE: Most likely.

MARISSA: Hey, why are you looking through my purse?!?

YVONNE: Trying to find your lipstick. {throwing the items she mentions out of the purse} Red siccors, red diary, my wallet, purple lipstick, spare computer mouse, ah! {picks up a small silver container} Here it is!

MARISSA: Thanks! {grabs the container} Now, what will we use for a fancy outfit?

YVONNE: Hm... {gets off the bed, walks over to the closet} Put on your dark red short sleeve, and your long red skirt. {kneels down towards the closet, begins sifting through a pile of toys} Now wheres that stupid frying pan?

MARISSA: Maybe in the kitchen...?

YVONNE: {looks at marissa} Shut up! {walks offscreen}

{cuts to the photo booth. strong bad is there. he takes a large tan trench coat off of a coat rack.}

STRONG BAD: I wonder why we need this. It's too big for me, even!

{the cheat walks in. he is wearing a black wig, and a blue/white outfit}

STRONG BAD: In fact, why do we need the wig?

THE CHEAT: {normal the cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Well, were any of us even asked to get a camel?

{cuts back to the living room. everyone is there, with what they need}

XAVIAR: Now lets put these on. Marissa, put on the sunhat, lipstick, and outfit. Yvonne, cut yourself, put on the black wig, fedora, and trench coat.

YVONNE: You expect me to cut myself?!?

XAVIAR: Just enough to leave a mark.

YVONNE: {grumbles}

XAVIAR: Strong bad, take the leg portion of the trench coat.

STRONG BAD: Why can't she carry me around?

XAVIAR: 'Cause you'd be spotted almost instantaneously, while yvonne is virtually unknown. The cheat, put on the-

{the camera zooms in on the cheat, who's wearing the outfit. the camera zooms back out.}

XAVIAR: Erm... ok. Go, go GO, people!

{everyone runs offscreen.}

{cuts to outside the ciniplex. everyone is there, in costume.}

YVONNE: Hey, what did we need the frying pan for?

XAVIAR: I wanted to see this too, so I need something to distract the ticket man.

MARISSA: Okay. I'll go first. {walks into the theater}

{cuts to senor cardgage at the ticket counter. marissa comes in}

MARISSA: {with a movie star-esque faked voice} Excuse me, big boy. Would you let a pretty lady into that scary movie for free? I am {flutters her eyelashes} the star of it.

SENOR CADGAGE: I'm sorry, belinda. Only the movie stars can enter for free.

MARISSA: Did you even hear me?

SENOR CARDGAGE: Come on in. {lifts up the rope. marissa walks in. yvonne walks in. she holds up the 'nunchuck gun, facing senor}

YVONNE: Growl!

SENOR CARDGAGE: {indifferently} Aaaaah. {puts his hands over his head. yvonne walks into the theatre}

THE CHEAT: {walks in} {curious the cheat noises}

SENOR CARDGAGE: Hey there, hamster.

XAVIAR: {offscreen} Kaboom! {the frying pan flies onscreen, knocking out cardgage. xaviar flies onscreen. he high-fives the cheat. the two walk offscreen}

{cuts to an indoor concession stand. homestar is in the stand, wearing a large sheet of blue construction paper. the five walk in}

HOMESTAR: Welcome to movieplex theaters.

YVONNE: Two medium popcorns, and five smoothies, please.

HOMESTAR: {puts a few items on the counter} That will be ten dollars.

MARISSA: You can pay us back tomorrow.

HOMESTAR: Okay!

{the five pick up the popcorn and drinks, and walk off screen. cuts to inside a darkened theatre. marissa and the cheat are ducking behind their seats. yvonne is watching the movie with awe. strong bad is out of the costume, wide eyed and scared. xaviar is smiling. suddenly, the whole frame begins flashing red}

ALL FIVE: AAAAH!

{the screen fades to black}

Fun Facts

• Marissa being asked to get a sun hat is because she has a weakness for them.
• Yvonne was in charge of the knife and frying pan, because she is known as a cook.
• Strong bad's nunchuck-gun is a reference to the sbemail Dangeresque 2.
• The cheat is known as a thief.