User:Jon NoHamsters/art/fanfiction/teahouse/chapter1
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Contents |
Chapter One: Mash Play on the Frapé!
Cast (In Order of Appearance): Homestar Runner, Tiny Handed Strong Bad(Cameo), Senor Cardgage (Cameo), Old-Timey Strong Bad (Cameo), Da Huuuuuuuudge (Cameo), Strong Bad, Strong Badman (Cameo), Sterrance (Cameo), Mysterious Armadillo
Transcript
{Fade to the scene in Strong Bad Email 150 "Alternate Universe" Where Homestar Runner is messing with Strong Bad's Gameboy portal; It is partially faded and frozen as large yellow letters reading "Previously..." cover the screen}
ANNOUNCER: Previously {pronounces it preh-viously} on Strong Bad Email {pronounces it Sta-rong Bahd Eh-mile}
{The shot unfades and plays accordingly}
HOMESTAR: I'm trying to make me a real fruit smoothie here!
{Cut to a wide shot. Tiny Handed Strong Bad is standing to the left, with Senor Cardgage, Old-Timey Strong Bad and Da Huuuuuudge to the right.}
HOMESTAR: Any of you guys got any bee pollen?
{As Homestar presses another button, Strong Bad appears next to the portal and Strong Badman appears on the left side of the screen.}
STRONG BAD: Homestar! Quit messing with my alternate universe portal!
HOMESTAR: {slowly} I'm trying to replenish some electrolytes, if you don't mind!
{Homestar presses another button on the blender. He and the portal both suddenly disappear, and Sterrance appears on the desk. Sudden, Homestar is stuck in a destroyed village. The trees are on fire, people are peeking through the doors and windows at the being that is Homestar Runner}
HOMESTAR: Okay! I guess I'll get one from the store! {turns away and spots a small shack} Oooh! This must be the depot. {pronounces it as "day-po", walks in and sees a skull} Ahem! Excardon me, My good keep. By any chance you carry any sports drinks?
{The skull just sits there in silence, Homestar frowns in anger}
HOMESTAR: Well! I don't know how you stay in business with that kind of adbimatude!
{Homestar walks out in a huff}
HOMESTAR: Hello? Anyone? {he looks down and picks up a bottle cap} Oooh! A bottle cap! I'll call you, Steve!
{Homestar puts the bottle cap in his hat and wanders around some more}
HOMESTAR: My luck is looking up already!
{suddenly the people hide back into their nooks as a shadowy figure towers over Homestar. It has a large shell like an armadillo's and was large in size covered with muscles and scars}
HOMESTAR: {turns around and faces the figure eclipsing his sunlight} Oh! Hey-ha, Bro-ha! Have you met Steve? {pulls out "Steve"}
{the mysterious armadillo raises its arm ready to pummel Homestar until it got a voice message}
MYSTERIOUS VOICE: {The voice has an altering pitch which sounded gruff and graggily or foolish and high with heavy grunts and breathing between sentences} Hello, Martin. I just wanted to say I found Henry. He's in this Teahouse 5 kilometers from your position and you'll find him and I can get my reward. {grunts} Okay, Signing off.
{the transmission cut off and the mysterious armadillo looks towards the forest}
MYSTERIOUS ARMADILLO: Henry? {he buries himself into his body before flexing his chest and arms outwards and arching his back, screaming to the heavens} HENRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
{Homestar hits the button that would send him back to his dimension, cut to Strong Bad in his basement sleeping on his couch mumbling in his sleep}}
STRONG BAD: {mumbling} E.V.O... Search for Eden...
{Homestar pops into Strong Bad's basement falling on the sleeping Strong Bad}
STRONG BAD: WAAAUGH!
{Homestar is sitting on Strong Bad's body}
HOMESTAR: {turns to Strong Bad who is still crushed under his weight} Auntie Em! Auntie Em! I was in this place, where people ignored you.
STRONG BAD: {his voice was strained from the pressure on his body} I wish I could ignore you!
HOMESTAR: And I found a bottle cap and there was this giant shelled amarillo! He was shouting, "HENRY! HENRYYYY!" He was a scary alcapella, that guy.
{Strong Bad pushes Homestar off of his body, panting}
STRONG BAD: That's armadillo, Brains for Crap!
{Homestar lays on the floor}
HOMESTAR: That's what I said! Wedge Antilles. {he holds up the gameboy in a blender} I brought back a souvineer.
{Strong Bad grabs the blender angrily, and tosses the blender into The Cheat's crisper box}
STRONG BAD: THAT WILL BE THE LAST TIME YOU FOUL UP ANY CONTINUITY!
{Strong Bad storms upstairs, presumably to play video games while Homestar remains lying on the floor.}
HOMESTAR: {he imitates a dramatic narrator's voice} Will our hero ever find the fabled Transdimensional Gameboy blender? Will all wrongs taking place in other universes be righted? Tune in to the next episode! Same Homestar Runner Time, Same Homestar Runner Network!
{As soon as Homestar says the last line the words he said are flashing on the screen ala "1966 Batman"}
HOMESTAR: Seriously.
{Then the word "Seriously" starts flashing on the screen the same way, then we fade to black.}
TO BE CONTINUED!!
Fun Facts
Inside References
- This chapter takes place sometime during and after Strong Bad Email 150.
- There is an instance of Strong Bad muttering a Super Nintendo game in his sleep
- abditude is a reference to Abdi LaRue who sent the first Strong Bad Email.
- Homestar finding a bottle cap and calling it "Steve" is a reference to an audio clip made by the fanfiction's author.
- The way Homestar pronounces "depot" is the same way The Homestar Runner did in "Parsnips a Plenty".
- The Announcer mispronouncing "previously" is a reference to "Alternate Universe" with the word "bulding" and the Cartoon "DNA Evidence".
- Homestar saying "excardon me" is a reference to Senor Cardgage's use for portmaneau's and the SBEmail "Kind of Cool".
- Homestar says "seriously" which many people and the other characters consider his catchphrase.
- Brains for Crap is a variation of Strong Bad's famous "Crap for Brains" insult.
- The title for this chapter uses the Homestar Runner term "Mash Play" on it which is commonly used when you want some listen to some tunes.
Real World References
- Sports drinks and electrolytes have been scientifically proven to keep you hydrated, from what I have heard.
- The Armadillo's agression and the constant yelling of his Nemesis' name is a reference to Broly from Dragon Ball Z.
- E.V.O. Search for Eden (4.6 Billion Year Story: To Distant Eden in Japan) was a Super Nintendo game made by Enix (before merging with Squaresoft) that featured sidescrolling action with RPG elements such as using evolution points to evolve bodyparts to increase your defense, attack, and health. It is considered an underrated classic with a cult following.
- The flashing letters at the end are an obvious reference to the 1960's Batman show starring Adam West.
- Homestar's dramatic narrator voice may be a direct reference to Kyle Hebert who is known as the "DBZ Announcer Guy".
- Amarillo is a city in Texas. It sounds like "armadillo" but it is the Spanish word for yellow.
- Acapella is a type of music group where the members use their vocals rather than instruments to provide the beat.
- Wedge Antilles is a fictional character from the original Star Wars Trilogy. He besides Luke Skywalker and Han Solo were the only rebels who survived the Battle of Yavin.
- The voice the Armadillo was speaking to is an actually parody of a real internet creep that I personally hope many of you will never have the misfortune to know!
- Homestar calling Strong Bad "Auntie Em" is a reference to "The Wizard of Oz"
