Thy TampoBrain XVII Messages

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

Here's a (hopefully) comprehensive list of all the messages that appear in Thy TampoBrain XVII. Spoiler alert, obviously.

Everywhere

• LOOK

  {the description of the room you are in}

Personal Chamber

You are in your personal chamber. You face the SAARGTSCREEN II, which sits in the middle of the room, turned off. This seems like a good time to check your EMAIL, something you haven't gotten to do in a while. There is a LAVA FLOW along the far side of the room, and your exit is SOUTH. Your two FRIENDS are mysteriously absent... Where could they be?

• LOOK SAARGTSCREEN II/SAARGTSCREEN/SUPERCOMPUTER/COMPUTER/COMPY/etc
  • Before cooking the Gokul:

    It's your not-quite-brand new Saargtscreen II! You know, that thing with the MICROWAVE. And the computer. Together for some reason. It appears entirely deactivated right now. It needs its ON SWITCH flipped.

  • After:

    It's your not-quite-brand new Saargtscreen II! You know, that thing with the MICROWAVE. And the computer. Together for some reason. It appears entirely deactivated right now. It needs its ON SWITCH flipped. The microwave half is currently turned on and is messy with GOKUL GUTS. Eww.

• GET/etc SAARGTSCREEN/etc

  It's nearly as big as you are and firmly stuck in the ground. You sit on it anyway but you can't absorb it very well.

• TALK TO/etc SAARGTSCREEN/etc

  That's just sad.

• USE/TURN ON/ACTIVATE/etc SAARGTSCREEN/etc

  You go over to the deactivated computer and attempt to flip the ON SWITCH. It is too small and stiff. Your flabby pink sides can't bring up enough force to flip it. Looks like you'll be needing help from BRODY or STLUNKO and their stupid hands.

• LOOK MICROWAVE/MICROWAVE OVEN/OVEN/etc
  • Before cooking the Gokul:

    The door is closed and it isn't cooking. It has some exposed CIRCUITS that are obviously asking for a challenge. What the- Is that a GOKUL in there?! How the crap did that thing trap itself in your microwave? You'll have to activate the microwave to get the door open.

  • After:

    The microwave door is wide open and there are plenty of Gokul guts splattered inside. Whoopee.

• TALK TO/etc MICROWAVE/etc

  That's just sad.

• USE/TURN ON/ACTIVATE/etc MICROWAVE/etc

  The buttons are much too small for you to push. Meh.

• LOOK CIRCUITS/CIRCUIT PANEL/WIRES/etc
  • Before looking at the microwave:

    You seem to have misplaced your circuits. What sort of APPLIANCE would have circuits?

  • After looking at the microwave but before cooking the Gokul:

    Looks like someone left the circuit panel open. Lots of wires are visible and are just asking to be ZAPPED.

  • After both:

    They look all zapped out. Stlunko will probably have to do some minor repairs.

• LOOK APPLIANCE

  The only appliance here is your computer, the SAARGTSCREEN II.

• ZAP CIRCUITS/etc
  • Before looking at the microwave:

    How are you supposed to zap the circuits if you haven't even seen them?

  • First time after looking at the microwave:

    You fire a laser ball at the exposed circuits, hoping to activate the microwave and open the door. Freedom to the Gokul! The electricity fizzles amoungst the wires and suddenly the bicrowave half of the SaargtsScreen II activates. But to your horror, rather than the door popping open, the timer sets itself to 15 seconds and starts cooking the poor squealing thing.
    
    Ding! The microwave door automatically opens after cooking the Gokul for a few seconds. The irradiated Gokul is all vibrating and squealing. When you realize what's going to happen, it's too late. The Gokul explodes and his innards and guts make a terrible mess all over the microwave and you. It feels toasty.
    
    The guts that land on you start absorbing inside. It's very gross indeed, but it appears to have a beneficial side effect. It seems to be coating your exterior in heat-resistant Gokul particles. You can now handle extreme heat, but lava is still probably fatal to the touch.

    (Score 1 point)
  • Later times:

    Nah. Once is enough.

• LOOK GOKUL
  • Before looking at the microwave:

    What Gokul? <('-'<)

  • After looking at the microwave but before cooking the Gokul:

    It looks like it wants out.

  • After both:

    Uh... Brody will clean that up.

• GET GOKUL
  • Before looking at the microwave:

    What Gokul? <('-'<)

  • After looking at the microwave but before cooking the Gokul:

    You can't, there's a glass door in the way. You probably wouldn't want to absorb that squiggly thing anyway.

  • After both:

    Uh... you have enough of him on you already.

• TALK TO/etc GOKUL
  • Before looking at the microwave:

    What Gokul? <('-'<)

  • After looking at the microwave but before cooking the Gokul:

    You ask the Gokul how it got in there, not really expecting to understand the answer. The squishy things can't really talk, you know. It notices you and starts squealing and squirming for help. You tell it everything's going to be fine, but it continues to squeal and squeal anyway.
    
    It's sort of getting annoying...

  • After both:

    Well, it stopped squealing anyway. Poor guy.

• USE GOKUL
  • Before cooking the Gokul:

    How can you use it? You don't even have it!

  • After:

    Oh, it's splattered all over you. You'll be using it constantly until you take a bath.

• LOOK ON SWITCH/SWITCH/etc

  Stupid switches. Why can't you have big red buttons? Big red buttons are pushable!

• USE/FLIP ON SWITCH/SWITCH/etc

  You need hands, dangit!

• LOOK/USE EMAIL

  You stare at the blank screen. Turns out the computer needs to be on.

• LOOK LAVA FLOW/LAVA/etc

  It boils and bubbles and is placed ever-so-conveniently on the far side of the room. It continues to flow in from a TUNNEL in the NORTH of the room, but that tunnel looks freakin' hot. It disappears under a rock slab to the north. Anyone for a lava bath?

• TALK TO/etc LAVA FLOW/etc

  "Lava nice day."

• LOOK NORTH/TUNNEL

  It's a cramped tunnel to the NORTH with a LAVA FLOW passing along the floor. You can't see what's on the other side. Being covered in lava and having almost no ventilation, it looks extremely hot. Even more so than most of these toasty tunnels. Enter at your own risk.

• LOOK SOUTH

  The exit you always take to get out of here is on the SOUTH side of the room. Beyond it lie random Lava Zone-style passageways and corridors full of minions. What fun.