The Misadventures of Mike and Matt/M&M1
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
{Open to a bright, blue sky. A cloud is nowhere to be seen as the sun spreads its glow upon the earth. Camera pans down to show a small house. A 18 year old Mike Chapman is seen through a window. Cut to Mike drawing something on a piece of paper. His younger brother, Matt walks into the room.}
MATT: Hey, Mike! Its a great day! Why don't you stop working on that stupid picture book and come play video games!
MIKE: ... {Stops working, putting his art supplies down and looking at his brother} Matt, isn't going outside how you're supposed to enjoy a nice day?
MATT: Oh, young, naive Mike...
MIKE: ...I'm olde-
MATT Oh, young, naive Mike... everybody knows the sun is evil!
{Matt walks to a window and opens it. He leans out and shoots a nasty glare at the sun}
MATT: GET A JOB!
{Matt leans back in and shuts the window}
MIKE: {Sigh} Look, you can play Zelda by yourself. I have work to do.
MATT: Well... fine! I don't need you, pooper of many parties! ...Thats your indian name. Pooper of many parties. {Walks out}
MIKE: {Picks up his pencil and shakes his head} I worry about that boy...
{Cut to much later. The sun is slowly going down. Cut to show Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, being played by Matt}
NAVI: Hey! Listen!
{Link swipes at Navi with his sword}
MATT: {Offscreen} Shut up.
NAVI: Hey! Look!
{Link picks up a rock and throws it at Navi}
MATT: {Offscreen} Shut up!
NAVI: Hey! Watch out!
{Link performs a spinning attack}
MATT: {Offscreen} SHUT UP!
{The Owl flies onscreen}
OWL: blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
{Cut to Matt playing the game. He throws the controller to the ground in anger}
MATT: Friggin' Owl... I wonder how Matts doing...
{Cut to Mike's room. Mike has long since fallen asleep on top of his supplies. Matt walks in and sighs}
MATT: Oh, come on, Mike... I know we talked about this when we were younger, but that was a long time ago... this won't get us anywhere...
{Matt walks over to Mike. He slowly pulls out the papers from under Mike. Mike stirs slightly in his sleep}
MATT: {Reading paper} "The Homestar Runner Enters The Strongest Man In The World Contest". Really? That lame Homestar guy we came up with in 2nd grade? {Sighs} ...Wait, whats this? {Continues to read} "By... Mike and Matt Chapman"... {Looks up from the paper, touched. Looks down at his brother, asleep. Smiles. Walks offscreen. Walks back onscreen seconds later and puts a blanket over Mike. He sits down and starts adding to the book.}
AUDIENCE TRACK: Awwww...
MATT: {Looks up, startled} What the...!?
{2 weeks later...}
{Mike is sitting on the couch, watching TV. Matt walks in holding some letters}
MATT: Well, we got some letters back from those publishing companies.
MIKE: Really? What do they say?
MATT: Rejected. {Tosses letters over shoulder}
MIKE: ...Ouch.
MATT: {Sigh} Well, holy crap...
MIKE: Y'know, you gotta stop saying that so much. Its gonna turn into a habit.
{Cut to the front yard. Matt and Mike walk outside, passing their neighbor, with glasses and a combover.}
NEIGHBOR: {In a low, scratchy voice} Hey there, young peoples...
MIKE & MATT: {In unison, as they pass} Hi, Mister Cardgage.
I WILL FINISH THIS TODAY I PROMISE
