The Guide to Email Success/Young Roy Tips
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Hey, it's me, Young Roy, here to give you basically the whole e-mail walkthrough. By the time you finish reading this, you will have figured out the following:
- Which character to use
- How to write good emails
- How to create the plot of the email, just by reading it in your inbox.
- How to give fake/minor characters "personality"
- How to add humor the "right way"
- Good inside jokes
- Much more!
So, let's get this train wreck a'rollin'!
Contents |
Level One: Character Select
Try to pick a character well-known
Ok, first part of making the emails, is picking your character. Novices may want to choose a character that is well-known, like Strong Bad, Stinkoman, Homestar, Marzipan, etc. (unfortunatly, listed characters are all taken.)
If you pick a character with not-much-known personality...
You may decide to pick a character that has no real set personality. If you do this, don't make the mistake I made with Visor Robot emails, which was clearly my Novice stages. But, here are some tips to use, and let's use VIsor Robot for example.
1. Use what you already know!
What do we know about Visor Robot? Unfortunatly, not much. All we know, he can fire lasers, talks very robitically, has a human brain (according to Strong Sad) and is a spokesperson for Senor Mortgage.
What can we tell? Um...nothing, really. Make him talk robotically, and maybe sometime mention his human brain.
2. Guesstimate by the character's traits.
This is easy, sort of. Visor Robot is, obviously, a robot. Well, you can make him walk robotically, and move like a robot. FOr good measures, you can even make him make whirring noises when he moves. Be creative!
You seriously need to get some friends.
However, good things about not-much-known characters is you can connect characters, or make your own! Since Visor Robot is, well, a robot, he's friends with Strong Tron 20X6. (He's more of a "Inside Joke" from my email remake, "some kinda robot."
Level 2: E-mail Selecting
The first time's always the hardest
First few emails you do, you won't have much of a choice. And they may be crap. When you're at this stage, you have no choice but to pick the not-so-good ones. (Although, you can avoid those like, "OMG ur email show totally sux u need 2 get a liff!")
Pick a winner
After your email show gets popular and the emails come in like hotcakes, you can start skipping some of the not-so-good ones. Unless they're ALL not-so-good ones. Then, pick the best of the bunch. However, there is a technique to making a great email from a not-so-great email, later in this walkthrough.
Made-up emails?
Made-up emails are not really great. This should not be done unless all or most of the following is in effect:
- Your inbox is empty.
- Your inbox is full of only terrible emails ("OMG your email show sux")
- You haven't had a (good) email in 2+ weeks.
- You have some fans (you don't want your email to be done in vain. Unless you're only doing this for fun)
If you DO make up an email, get it from the Emails 4 you! page. Or, just Request an Email.
Level 3: Determining the plot
The easy ones
OK, with the good emails, the plot is easy. You best keep it to what the email subject is. So, if it asks something about, say, time travel, it was probably sent by Mitchell The email should be about TIME TRAVEL!
Not-so-good ones
Dear ::: v???, Ever head of a... tjsvt? Czf, Bqpd
Roy, how do I deal with this crap? The number one rule for this is BE CREATIVE! Come up with something random and funny. Don't make it excessivly random or excessivly funny, though.
Basically, here are the three rules of what NOT to do. And we'll run "Man" through the bad examples.
1. Don't delete it without cause.
MAN: {typing in "check_email.exe} I am checking my email today!
Dear Man v???, Ever head of a... tjsvt? Czf, Bqpd
MAN: {typing}This email sucks! DELETED!
{DELETED screen comes up}
Although you can delete them in your inbox, don't make an email of them deleting it. By "cause" I mean, like, in the Strong Bad email "spring cleaning" he deleted email becaus ehe was "spring cleaning" his inbox. I still find that email somewhat hilarious.
2. Don't ramble on to a tangent that is not related to the subject.
MAN: {typing in "check_email.exe} I am checking my email today!
Dear Man v???, Ever head of a... tjsvt? Czf, Bqpd
MAN: Oh, geez, this is crap. You want to know how many emails I get that are crap? Let me tell you...
Stop it right there. We've read enough. Man was jsut about to show some other crappy emails. Although some people will find that funny, your email show popularity will go down.
3. Don't copy off of other's material!
For this, I decided to show you a couple of examples, and explain first. The worst thing ever is when an email is basically another email, just changed around some, but still the same plot. Observe.
MAN: {typing in "check_email.exe} I am checking my email today! OK, so I'm gonna spring clean my inbox. It drastically needs it.
Dear Man v???, Ever head of a... tjsvt? Czf, Bqpd
MAN: {typing} Man, man. This random crap, and it totally deserves to be DELETED!
(Copying SBemail "spring cleaning")
MAN: {typing in "check_email.exe} I am checking my email today!
Dear Man v???, Ever head of a... tjsvt? Czf, Bqpd
MAN: Oh yeah? You want spam! SPAM IS WHAT YOU GET! {typing} Ert Plus, why seven six pee? Elent the pizza of toppings that elect the zippo thinger. {types ert+, y76p? Elnt teh pza f topigz tat elet teh zpo thngr.}
(Copying Visor Robot email "spam")
MAN: {typing in "check_email.exe} I am checking my email today!
Dear Man v???, Ever head of a... tjsvt? Czf, Bqpd
MAN: Seriously, I need a spam filter...
DUDE: You've come to the right place! {cut out to see Dude, with an optical disk next to Man}
MAN: Shouldn't you be at Dude's Sellin' Place?
DUDE: Nah...
(Copying Not Quite Strong Bad Email "spam")
It's rare that you'll actually copy an email that's already made. But if you do, either re-make the email, or explain you did not know of their email. They may let you keep it and not saw your head off! Ha ha, just kidding.
Level 4: Email Length
Okay, if there is two types of emails that get on my nerves it would have to be these:
1. Super-short emails. 2. Super-long emails.
In my opinion, emails should be about 75 - 120 lines long. Here's how to tell if you are making the mistakes of writing short emails that just get by or superlong emails that are a headache to read.
The Short Email Writer
Do you find yourself cramming lines into your email so it cn get by with 20? Is your longest email 25 lines? In the "10 Lines is Not Enough," did you attempt to try and leave it at ten lines, and whine that it's tough? Well, then you are the short email writer. These are more likly the people who are in a hurry to write, don't like writing (which is ironic that they have an email show.), or like to summarize quickly. Here are a few of my tips to making it longer:
1. Explain Vividly
Remember: you can't watch these emails. If Strong Bad emails weren't animated, but only transcripted (I don't know how that would be possible...), then the emails would be a lot longer. This is because they would have to be explained way better, because there is no official cartoon to see what actually happens. Here's an example of how to better explain something. If you were to exadderate and explain vividly, you could extend your email possibly by at least 5 lines.
2. Remember Level 3
What I currently do before I make my emails is I actually print out the email and go into my room and think up a plot. This is no joke. I actually try to come up with the email in my head, and write down some plot ideas on a peice of paper. If you're not willing to going the extra mile, then you shouldn't be writing.
3. Use Notepad
You can use Microsoft Word or whatever typing program you have, but I perfer Notepad, because it doesn't try to fix typos that are purposly done, and formats you may try to do on Microsoft Word may mess it up. "Why should I be using a typing program first?" you may ask. Because, just in case you get writer's block or a part needs to be rewritten, you can save it instead of starting over. I've had it happen many times. In fact, my most recent email, "framed," ZI originally had the ending, um, I don't remember. I think it involved Dungeon Bad. But, anyways, it took me an hour to rewrite, which I remembered Strong Bad from the second email.
The Gigantic Email Writer
Do you find yourself exxaderating and describing TOO much? Is your average email 200 or so lines? Have you gotten complaints from your readers that your emails are "TOO LONG CLANKY TOO LONG!" Did you request in afformentioned "10 Lines is Not Enough" for emails to be at least 100 or 200 lines? If so, you are the gigantic email writer, who actually has found a way to write too much. Here are my methods of how to cut down on the length:
1. Summarize
Yes, I know, I talked against summarizing in the previous section, and praised exadderation. However, there is such a thing as too much exadderation. We don't need to know if Strogn Sad ran at 8 mph, for 10 feet, then jumped 3 feet at the same rate with 6 inches being his highest jumping peak and at a 1.203845 degree angle from the tapeline. You could say that Strong Sad ran up to the tapeline and jumped, getting 3 feet exactly. See? Isn't that easier and better to read?
2. Don't make the plot last so long
One of the problems to making super-long emails is making too long of a plot. You make too many events happen that don't really add to the story. Remember, look at cartoons: they last about 11 minutes, so they try their best to sum up the story in that time. You should, too. DOn't do it too quickly, however, or you'll quickly shift from a Gigantic Email Writer to a Short Email Writer.
3. Keep to the Plot
Another thing that causes long emails is the use of things that are not really in paticular related to the plot. Try your best to skip these. I actually have a friend from a fan fiction site who says that "he does that when the can't think of how to go on with the plot." O.o I dunno if that's any of your problems, but...get away from the computer when thinking of a plot if that's your problem.
Level 5: Humor
There are three vital things that, if one is removed from the email, it will suck horribly: they are an email, characters, and humor. We've already discussed the former two, so we'll talk funny. No, we won't talk high pitched. I meant we'll talk about funny.
Inside Jokes/Running Gags
Inside jokes and running gags are two places where you can get humor from. You can't rely only on inside jokes or running gags, but they're nice places to start. Here's some rules to making them.
1. They're Usually Spontaneous
One thing about running gags: most of them happen spontaneously. Hey, you might even spell something wrong and people think it's funny. That's why it's good to have a topic about it on the forum: people can tell you their opinions, and you can find out what they thought was funny.
2. Try Your Inside Jokes
One thing you can try is, if it's funny enough, using aninside joke you or your friends have. Take Jibney for example. Super Sam called his teacher Mrs. Gibney "Jibney," used it in his ISBmails, and it's spread over the wiki.
3. Don't Overuse Your Joke
Like I kinda said earlier, DO NOT EVER PLEVER PLEVERY JIBEVERY JIBNEY use your inside joke in EVERY SINGLE EMAIL. That will get annoying very fast. Don't create a pattern, like every other 3 emails, because people will know when to expect it. Do your joke, wait two emails before doing it again, then 1, then 5, then do it the next email, then 6, then 3, then 4, then 1, etc. You know, randomly release it. I mean, Jibney was only used in the ISBemail "stinkoman" and it's spread over the Fanstuff wiki like fire. I mean, look at the top of this paragraph. Even I use it.
Types of Humor
Besides normal humor, there are three other types of humor, which neither of the three should be overused. Especially the third one.
1. Random
Random humor: when something just spontaneously comes up and readers will laugh. It's best not to get TOO random, or else most users will not find it funny.
2. Stupid
Kinda similar to random, stupid humor is...um, watch SpongeBob. Or Ren and Stimpy. You've just seen stupid humor. Like with random, TOO stupid will have most users not finding your email funny.
3. Slapstick
Also Known As voilent humor, basically that explains it all. It'd be a lot funnier if it were in flash, so don't rely on it TOO much also. If you do, possibly only Mini-Trogdor will like your email. :P
So, vary these 3 ammounts of humor. Different people like different humor, so just remember: you can't please everyone. So don't try.
MORE SOON!
