The Cheat Commando Handbook/Chapter 8: The Battlefield

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

Blue Laser is a persistent bunch, popping out of any place imaginable to try and defile the awesomeness that is us Cheat Commandos. We've fought them all over the place, a bunch of times throughout our fighting history.

Contents 1 Blue Laser Headquarters 2 Secret Desert Headquarters 3 Secret Desert 4 Skirmish Bluffs

Blue Laser Headquarters

In case you doubted us*, we managed to push Blue Laser's forces back into their main headquarters, back when the team was just Flashfight, Gunhaver, Silent Rip, Reinforcements, and Crackotage. It's surrounded by a CHAINSAW MOAT. Security is pretty tight around here, but a well-placed smoke bomb can render them useless.

Ever since the first raid, this headquarters has been abandoned. Useless, huh?

*For not believing in the team, you will be arrested.

Secret Desert Headquarters

Not to be confused with the below Secret Desert, the Blue Laser Secret Desert Headquarters is our enemy's main base of operations. Made up of a nondescript house and a backyard, it's surprisingly hard to take over! Flashfight just can't resist stopping in to talk to Blue Laser's Nana and have some cookies.

We don't know much else about the Secret Desert Headquarters, but during an unsuccessful attack on it, we found Firebert in Blue Laser's grill, havin' a nap. Who'da thunk?

Secret Desert

This is the wasteland that lies between the Blue Laser Headquarters and the Cheat Commando Headquarters. It doesn't have much to offer, but it's fun to send Reynold through it to get groceries. Heh.

Skirmish Bluffs

Ah, the memories - Blue Laser's Operation Ocean Blow was about to cause catastrophes within three square miles of the Skirmish Bluffs, but we used our Action Figure Storage Trucks to take out their tanks, and used some sneaky explosives to eliminate the infantry. Avalanches happen all the time here, unforutnately for Blue Laser's Operation Don't Crush Ourselves.

Blue Laser hasn't been here in a while, but a lone satelite dish sits on the top of one of the crags. Gunhaver was meant to take it out, but he kept putting it off until tomorrow.