Terrell Email/chicken head

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

Summary

Terrell finds a computer, and questions his physical structure.

Cast: Terrell, Stobat, Stinkoman

Places: Stinkoman's Kitchen, A Fridge

Transcript

{Open in Stinkoman's kitchen, with a view of a lonely fridge. After a period of silence, some sounds of fighting can be heard in the background...}

TERRELL: {offscreen} Run away! Run away!

STOBAT: {offscreen} Stinkoman's coming!

{Screaming from the chickens can be heard.}

STINKOMAN: {offscreen} Are you pathetic chickens asking for a CHALLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEENNNGGGGEEE?

{The Terrell hops on screen. He looks at the fridge.}

TERRELL: Bingo!

{He opens the fridge and hops in. Cut to inside the fridge. Chaos can still be heard outside. The fridge is empty, aside from Terrell and a laptop computer lying on the top shelf.}

TERRELL: Huh? What's that?

{Cut to a close-up of the computer. There is a note on it.}

TERRELL: A note? {reads note}

dear fellow mutant chicken,

this laptop is all that remains
of my memories. i hope it helps
you more than it helped me.

-joe the grundy

TERRELL: But how do I use it? How do I turn it on?

COMPUTER: Voice recognition system activated.

TERRELL: Wah! Who said that?

COMPUTER: It is me - your computer. I am the voice-activated Poultron 3000.

TERRELL: Well, uh...what can you do?

POULTRON 3000: I can do spreadsheets, image editing, word processing, e-mail-

TERRELL: Oooh, e-mail! Check my e-mail! It's terrellMan@chickenz.com.

POULTRON 3000: Checking e-mail...1 new message!

{The message opens. The note from earlier falls off the monitor, so the viewer can see. The Poultron 3000 reads the e-mail aloud.}

Dear T.O.
How's it feel to be a chicken head?
I imagine it hurts constantly.
- 20X6 version of Skub

TERRELL: Great! Now, uh...how do I answer it?

POULTRON 3000: Simply dictate your message and I'll do the rest.

TERRELL: All right, then.

to be continued...