Strong Bad Email/recolor
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Strong Bad bashes Strong Bad recolours.
Cast (In order of appearance): Strong Bad, Strong Hlad, A whole mess of Strong Bads, Strong Mad, Strong Sad, The Cheat (Easter Egg), Homestar (Easter Egg)
Places: Strong Bad's Computer Room, Strong Sad's Room, The Cheat's Computer Room (Easter Egg), The Beach (Easter Egg)
Date: February 5, 2007
Transcript
STRONG BAD: {Singing, getting higher with each repetition} Email... Email... Email...
subject: the brothers strongDear Strong Bad,
Who are Strong Ad, Strong Add, Strong Brad, Strong Cad, Strong Chad, Strong Chadd, Strong Clad, Strong Dad, Strong Fad, Strong Flad, Strong Gad, Strong Gadd, Strong Glad, Strong Gladd, Strong Grad, Strong Had, Strong Hadd, Strong Hlad, Strong Khad, Strong Lad, Strong Ladd, Strong Mad, Strong Madd, Strong Nad, Strong Pad, Strong Plaid, Strong Rad, Strong Radde, Strong Sad, Strong Scad, Strong Schad, Strong Shad, Strong Shadd, Strong Tad, Strong Tadd, Strong Thad, and Strong Vlad?
Love,
Brittany
{Strong Bad mumbles for a few seconds instead of reading everything from "Strong Brad" to "Strong Thad". He also reads "Love, Brittany" as "Love. From Brittany." as though Love was the sender's name and Brittany was the location}
STRONG BAD: Ugh. {Clears screen and starts typing} Look, Love. Just because you went through your French to English {types as "French-English} dictionary, and put "Strong" in front of every word ending with ad, does not mean that-
VOICE: Hey Strong Bad.
{Cut to a wide shot. A Strong Bad with inverted colours is standing next to Strong Bad. Strong Bad turns to look at him}
STRONG BAD: What the?
INVERTED STRONG BAD: It's me! Strong Hlad! Your long lost brother! Don't you remember me?
STRONG BAD: Uh... Yeah. I'm not really in the market for any more brothers at the moment. You did fill out your application and give it to my secretary, didn't you?
STRONG HLAD: Aw, crud...
{Strong Hlad walks offscreen dejectedly. Strong Bad turns back to the computer.}
STRONG BAD: {typing, sourly} Oh. You're talking about those crappy recolors. {stops typing and puts on a high pitched voice} I'm original! My gloves are blue! {Starts typing and speaking normally} I hate those guys. No, it'll take more than a new paint job to be worthy of the Strong -ad name. Like maybe, an awesome name, or awesome thumbs, or, I dunno, {yells} AN ORIGINAL DESIGN? {Speaks normally. A small crowd is heard in the background} Look guys. If I see one more freaking Strong Bad recolor around here, I swear I'm gonna start- {A bright green boxing gloved hand taps Strong Bad on the shoulder} -What?!
{Cut to a wide view. A crowd of Strong Bad recolours are standing around Strong Bad. Strong Bad looks around.}
STRONG BAD: Oh, very funny. I thought I told all of you to go away!
GREEN AND BLUE STRONG BAD: We just wanna hang out...
STRONG BAD: Yeah? Well, I just want to you leave me alone so I can answer my email! {He takes the Lappy, stands up and tries to walk away, but bumps into a Strong Bad recolour} Hey!
GREEN AND BLUE STRONG BAD: We wanna hang out right now!
STRONG BAD: Uh... {Points offscreen} Look! A bulldozer!
GREEN AND BLUE STRONG BAD: We're not falling for that trick again, cousin.
STRONG BAD: {counting on his thumbs} Okay, first, you're not my cousin. And second, I'm serious. It's a bulldozer. Coming right for us. Whoa!
{Strong Bad ducks as Strong Mad enters the screen}
STRONG MAD: RAAAAAH!
{Strong Mad punches out a few Strong Bad recolours, and the rest scatter. Strong Bad stands up.}
STRONG BAD: Thanks, big bro. {Looks around} I gotta find someplace to finish this email... Like, where I won't get bothered by fifty crappy clones of me.
{Cut to the Lappy's screen. Strong Bad is somewhere dark and close.}
STRONG BAD: {Typing} Well, l'amour, whatever your email said, recolors suck. Always wanting to hang out, or beat up Homestar, or not beat up Strong Sad...
STRONG SAD: {Offscreen} Uh, Strong Bad? What are you doing under my bed?
{Cut to Strong Sad standing next to his bed. Strong Bad's legs are sticking out from under the bed}
STRONG BAD: {muffled} Um... Checking my email?
STRONG SAD: Are you hiding?
STRONG BAD: {muffled} Maybe... Shut up. {Cut back to the Lappy. Strong Bad starts typing again} Anyways, stop making recolors of me, and I'll stop siphoning the hot water from your houses. Maybe.
{The Paper comes down. Nothing happens for 20 seconds or so, then the Lappy's battery runs out, and it shuts down}
STRONG BAD: Oh, great. Now what am I supposed to do? {He picks something up from offscreen and holds it in front of the screen. It's a snowglobe, with a troll doll inside. Strong Bad imitates the troll doll} Oh no! I'm stuck on a desert island! In a snowstorm! Somebody help!
STRONG SAD: {Offscreen} Put that back in its box!
STRONG BAD: Are you still here?
Easter Eggs
- Click on "Strong Plaid" to see a plaid coloured Strong Bad.
- Click on "recolors suck" to see what happened to Strong Hlad.
- {Strong Hlad and The Cheat are in The Cheat's computer room. The Cheat is wearing his sandwich board, which reads, "secretary"}
- STRONG HLAD: {Giving a form to The Cheat} Did I get in?
- THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises} {Shreds the form by gnawing on it}
- STRONG HLAD: Aw, crud...
- Click on "hang out" to see Homestar playing beach volleyball with all his recolours.
Fun Facts
- This isn't a commentary-through-fanfic type thing about how much I hate recolours. I don't hate recolours. I'm writing what Strong Bad might think.
- Brittany is in France. That's why Strong Bad thinks the emailer is French.
- The snowglobe is from The Secrets That I Keep
