Strong Bad Email/The King of Town
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
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Overview
Strong Bad imagines what would happen if he became the new KOT.
Cast in order of appearance: Strong Bad, The King of Town, The Cheat, The Poopsmith (as the Executioner), Strong Sad (audible only), Homsar (Easter Egg), Homestar Runner, The Blacksmith, Jabba the Hutt (crossed with Claire Bennet), The Announcer (Easter Egg), Boba Fett (Easter Egg), Hiro Nakamura (Easter Egg)
Locations: The Computer Room, The King of Town's Castle, Jabba's Palace (Easter Egg)
Page title: Lappy 486!
Transcript
STRONG BAD: {singing} I want emails, dah dah dah dah dah dah, I want emails, dah dah dah dah dah!
Subject: The new KOTDear Strong bad,
From, Air Head.
If you were the new king of town, what would you do?
STRONG BAD: {typing} Air Head, eh? For once, someone made fun of their own name for me. Wow, I think you deserve a pizza! {presses enter} Well anyway, Air Head, you know I've always hated the King of Town, so there's no reason why I don't want to replace him.
{Cut to the King of Town's castle. Strong Bad is sitting on a throne wearing the KoT's crown and cape, holding a scepter. The (former) KoT passes by in ham-patterned boxer shorts, unhappy.}
THE KING OF TOWN: Doo hoo hoo! I've been overthrown!
STRONG BAD: {voice over} The Cheat would be my new little chef guy!
{The Cheat goes up to Strong Bad, wearing a chef's hat, holding a plate of Cheatcakes.}
STRONG BAD: Thanks, little buddy! {grabs the plate of Cheatcakes and kicks The Cheat offscreen}
THE CHEAT: {as he is flying off screen} Mehhhhhhhhhhhhh...
STRONG BAD: {voice over} The Poopsmith would break his vow of silence, AND I'd give him a new job.
{The Poopsmith walks onscreen, wearing an executioner's hood and holding an axe. Instead of his gloves being covered in whatsit, they are covered in blood and so is his axe.}
THE POOPSMITH/THE EXECUTIONER: Hello, Strong Bad. Can you tell me where Strong Sad's room is?
STRONG BAD: {pointing} It's right over there, bud.
{The Poopsmith/Executioner walks off screen and we can hear Strong Sad screaming.}
STRONG SAD: Ow! That's not my head!
STRONG BAD: {voice over} But of course, someone would have to replace him.
{Cut to Homestar outside the castle, shoveling whatsit. His shirt is covered in whatsit.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I should have nevew voted fow Stwong Bad in the fiwst place. Now I'm stuck with this cwap job AND I wecked my favowite shiwt!
{Cut back to Strong Bad inside the castle. The Blacksmith is next to him. Both characters are holding glasses of melonade.}
STRONG BAD: And my days would be spent hangin' out with the Blacksmith.
{Strong Bad and the Blacksmith clink their glasses and drink from them. Cut to Strong Bad back at the Lappy.}
STRONG BAD: Finally, I would stop all those network executives from arguing with each other by making them all mix up their shows in a blender!
{Cut to a shot of a giant whirling blender in Jabba's Palace, then the blender stopping. A Jabba the Hutt-like creature with long blonde hair wearing a skimpy cheerleader outfit emerges.}
JABBA THE HUTT: Sa iku cheeleda, sa de wodu.
{Salacious Crumb emerges from behind the Jabba creature.}
SALACIOUS CRUMB: Eee-hee-hee!
{Cut back to Strong Bad at the Lappy.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Oh, what a better place the world would be if I was the new KOT. Now all I gotta do is start some election. I'm sure that everybody would vote for me. Now aaaany minute now, it'll start. Any minute now.
{The Paper comes down.}
Easter Eggs
- When the Poopsmith/Executioner is leaving, click on him to see Strong Bad's new bishop.
- {Homsar flies onscreen, wearing a bishop's hat and holding a scepter. He bounces around the screen.}
- HOMSAR: DaaaaaAAAAAAAAaaaaaaa! Dinosaurs are a part of love!
- Click on "some election" to see the results.
- {The Announcer is standing next to a pie chart.}
- THE ANNOUNCER: The results for the election for the new King of Town are in! It appears that the winner is... nobody! Nobody cares about politics anyway! I didn't even vote!
- Click on Strong Bad's eye to see more of "Jabba the Cheerleader".
- {Boba Fett flies up to the Jabba creature, holding a Japanese guy- Hiro Nakamura- frozen in carbonite.}
- BOBA FETT: Please the Hutt, save the world.
- {Jabba emits deep throaty laughter, until Hiro suddenly disappears from the block of carbonite. Salactious Crumb then somehow pulls out Boba's brain, eats it, and flies away.}
Fun Facts
Inside References
- Strong Bad saying that Air Head deserves a pizza is a slight allusion to Everybody to the Limit.
- In this email, there's an instance of kicking The Cheat.
- Strong Bad already said that he wishes that the Poopsmith would talk, in different town.
Real-World References
- Strong Bad's song during the intro is a parody of "I Want Candy", by Aaron Carter.
