Stinkoman Email.exe/9
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Overview
Stinkoman Email.exe: i love you
Stinkoman receives a love email. Stinkoman and Fhwqwhgads, sitting in a tree...
CAST: Stinkoman, Fhqwhgads, Pan-Pan, Tampo, Brody, Stlunko
PLACES: Computer Room, Lair of Fhqwhgads, Kawaii Sushi Yatta!, Bosses' Cavern
PAGE TITLE: Tando 5XXX!
AUTHOR: Zippy
Transcript
STINKOMAN: {typing "stinkoman's_email.exe"} I've carefully set aside my challenge time to check this email!
i love u
-fhqwhgadshgnsdhjsdbkhsdabkfabkveybvf
{Stinkoman reads Fhqwhgads' name as "Foo-hoo-kwuh-gads-hig-nis-dij-sid-bik-his-dab-kuh-fab-kiv-eyb-vif".}
STINKOMAN: {typing} Well, Fhqwhgadsh-- wait, is it okay if I call you Fhqwhgads? Well, Fhqwhgads, I'd love to go out with you, but... well, YOUR NAME'S TOO FREAKIN' LONG!
{Stinkoman breaths heavily before composing himself.}
STINKOMAN: {typing} So, of course, I can't go out with you today, even though I know you'd love to meet me for some sushi at "Kawaii Sushi Yatta!".
{Stinkoman leaves his computer. Suddenly, the scene cuts to a dark cave where somebody is watching the Stinkoman email.}
STINKOMAN: So, of course, I can't go out with you--
{A dark figure crushes the screen with its fist.}
?????????: Grrr... Stinkoman won't go out with me? Well, I'll show him... in a challenge!
{The dark figure turns around; it is a golden dragon with glowing red eyes. It laughs menacingly, as the camera cuts to an outside view of the cave. The dragon flies out of the cave, laughing as it goes. Meanwhile, Stinkoman and Pan-Pan are at Kawaii Sushi Yatta! ordering some sushi.}
{NOTE: Pan-Pan's dialogue is shown in subtitles as he speaks.}
STINKOMAN: Oh, man! I am so hungry! I'm going to get some prawn sushi!
PAN-PAN: (So I guessed. Me? I'm getting the toro sushi.}
STINKOMAN: Wuh-ha? You have the money for that?
PAN-PAN: (Yep.)
{A waiter comes over to Stinkoman and Pan-Pan's table. The waiter is somebody in a Stinkoman costume.}
STINKOMAN???: {in a poorly-done Stinkoman voice} Uh- erm- Hello, good man! I take your order please?
STINKOMAN: Heeeey... wait! That isn't my manly Stinko-voice! It's a fake!
STINKOMAN???: How are you so sure, sir or madam?
{Stinkoman jumps in the air.}
STINKOMAN: Unmasking Deuce!
{Stinkoman pulls off the fake Stinkoman's head. It is... the golden dragon!}
STINKOMAN: WAAAAAH! Who are you?
DRAGON: I am the mighty god Fhqwhgads, god of all that is evil!
STINKOMAN: I thought that was Trogador--
FHQWHGADS: SILENCE! You mortals shall taste the ever-painful fury of my scorching breath!
{Fhqwhgads shoots a stream of fire at the two heroes. Stinkoman backflips out of the sushi bar's window and into 20X6 The Field. Pan-Pan follows, as does Fhqwhgads.}
FHQWHGADS: Stop, Stinkoman! You have no idea who you're messing with!
STINKOMAN: Oh, I think I do! Double--
{Stinkoman rises into the air with a glowing aura.}
STINKOMAN: --DEUCE!
{Stinkoman fires two balls of energy at Fhqwhgads. Both spheres connect and Fhqwhgads is thrown back. Pan-Pan runs up to Fhqwhgads and starts using his special "Pan-Fu" on Fhqwhgads, dealing massive damage. Fhqwhgads gets up, and flies over head. Stinkoman looks up, and Fhqwhgads is right above his with an open mouth. Fhqwhgads then shoots a triple-beam of fire at Stinkoman, who carefully weaves through the shots as he jumps into the air.}
STINKOMAN: Eat this, dragon! PUNCHA-PUNCHA-PUNCHA-PUNCHA!
{Stinkoman rapidly punches Fhqwhgads into submission. Fhqwhgads falls to the ground as Pan-Pan jumps up and grabs Stinkoman in midair.}
STINKOMAN: Are you ready to perfect our brand-new TEAM-BLE DEUCE?
PAN-PAN: (Sure as ever, Stinkoman!)
{Pan-Pan, still in the air, starts spinning Stinkoman around. Stinkoman's fists start glowing as Fhqwhgads slowly rises. Then, when Stinkoman's fists glow enormously, Pan-Pan lets go, and Stinkoman soars into Fhwqwhgads. He hits Fhqwhgads repeatedly, spinning as he goes. Then, at the end of the technique, Stinkoman punches Fhqwhgads into the air. Stinkoman raises his fist as it glows with power.}
STINKOMAN: Time to end this fight ones and for all! MEGAAAAA... ULTRAAAAA... HYPEEEEER...
{Stinkoman strikes Fhqwhgads with the glowing fist as it falls.}
STINKOMAN: DEUCE!
{Fhqwhgads flies into the distance, roaring. Then, it disappears with a blink.}
STINKOMAN: HAHAHA! We did it, Pan-Pan! HAHAHA! Fhqwhgads is weak! HAHAHA! I still want my prawn sushi.
PAN-PAN: (Can't we just roll credits?)
STINKOMAN: Good point. And... POSING DEUCE!
{Stinkoman and Pan-Pan jump and pose in midair. The frame freezes and the credits roll. Once the credits are over, the scene zooms out--the whole thing was being watched over a surveillance camera! Three large figures in the background look over the tape in horror.}
?????: NO! Fhqwhgads failed us!
???????: Oh, do not worry. Not every fight can be a victory.
?????: With Stinkoman, every fight's a failure! What do we do, boss?
?????: Well, we do what we always do... try again!
???????: How about we try a different approach? We could hire a professional assasin to take care of him...
?????: Or, we could just launch a giant cannon and blow his Stinko-hide to smithereens!
?????: Not now, Brody, we need to think.
?????: Awwww...
???????: We will need some time to think this over, men. After all, our past schemes took at least five minutes to think up.
?????: Quiet, you hunk of junk!
?????: It's getting kinda dark. Can I turn on the light?
?????: ... Sure, whatever.
{The light is turned on. The three figures are(who else?) Tampo, Brody and Stlunko!}
STLUNKO: So, do we have any ideas?
BRODY: Not yet... I'll need some motivation.
TAMPO: How about a Brody Snack?
BRODY: I'm in!
{Tampo throws the chicken treat(?) into Brody's mouth. Brody suddenly starts to draw a blueprint on paper. In five minutes(as indicated by the time card) he is finished.}
BRODY: So, guys, whaddya think?
TAMPO: This... is brilliant! I never expected this from you, Brody!
STLUNKO: I am terribly sorry, but this blueprint shows a success rate of exactly 20.10897%.
TAMPO: What, isn't there a margin of error?
STLUNKO: I am afraid not. I was built for these kind of equations--
TAMPO: Uh, no. As I recall it, you were built to CRUSH THINGS.
STLUNKO: {sighs} This is why I am not appreciated. Always with the crushing, is it?
BRODY: Listen, whether it's got a margarine of error or whatnot, it doesn't matter! Let's just try it out!
TAMPO: Brody's right. I mean, what else could we do?
STLUNKO: AHEM. You could listen to me, for once! The hyper-fast prcessing ultra-computer!
TAMPO: Quiet. And now EVIL LAUGH!
ALL: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! YAHAHAHAHA! HAHA! Ha! Hum.
STLUNKO: Appreciate me!
{The screen fades to black. Text appears, reading, "TO BE CONTINUED?".}
Fun Facts
- "Kawaii Sushi Yatta!" is the 20X6 equivalent of Marshmallow's Last Stand. It also roughly translates into "Cute Sushi Yeah!".
- Fhqwhgads is a golden dragon--which is reminiscent of the Fhqwhgads of the "Everybody to The Limit" music video.
- The "TEAM-BLE DEUCE" move is similar to the Bros. Moves from the "Mario & Luigi" series of games.
- Just like in Tampo Emails, Stlunko does not use contractions.
- Brody Snacks are a play on Scooby Snacks, favored treat of Scooby Doo.
Easter Egg
- Click on the words to be continued? to see a music video made by Cheatball.
Easter Egg Transcript
{A hard-rock soundtrack similar in tune to "Everybody to The Limit" is playing as Stinkoman sings.}
STINKOMAN:{singing} Oh YEEEEAH! Fhqwhgads!
Unh! One! One-two! One-two! Check it, yeah!
Come on! Fhqwhgads! Let's go! Fhqwhgads!
Everybody's breakin' the limit! Yeah!
Breakin' the breakin' the breakin' the limit!
YEAAAAAH!
I said come on! Fhqwhgads! You heard me, let's go! Fhqwhgads!
Everybody's breakin' the limit! Yeah!
Breakin' the breakin' the breakin' the limit!
YEAAAAAH!
{rapping} I said, Fghwhgads, I mean Fhqwhgads
man, why you playin' tricks with me?
I mean you playin' that game that's like,
"U KNO ME" and I don't know, do you know me? WHAT?
{singing} I told ya, come on! Fhqwhgads! Come on, let's go! Fhqwhgads!
Cheatball, he's breakin' the limit! Yeah!
Breakin' the breakin' the breakin' the limit!
YEAAAAAH!
Oh yeah! Fhqwhgads! Oh man! Fhqwhgads!
Who here's breakin' the limit? Yeah!
Breakin' the breakin' the breakin' the limit?
YOOOOU!
{rapping} I mean, I don't know your name, man
but I heard it was Fhqwhgads, man
I axed my pals Pan-Pan and C-Ball
they said you're Fhqwhgads!
{singing} Come on! Fhqwhgads! Let's go! Fhqwhgads!
Everybody's breakin' the limit! Yeah!
Breakin' the breakin' the breakin' the breakin' the breakin' the...
LIIIIIIIMIIIIIIIT!
YEAH!
{talking} Man, Fhqwghads.
You're making yourself look worse, you know.
I mean, everybody's gonna feel sorry for you, dude.
You know, I do.
{The music video ends. Cut to Cheatball's computer.}
STINKOMAN: Whu-ha? This is... I mean, really... I-ghe... Chiggidy-buh... I'm gonna buy you a pizza.
CHEATBALL: Cheatball!
