Stinkoman Email.exe/11
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Overview
Stinkoman Email.exe: i rule
Stinkoman shows us all his pride and joy: Stinkopolis!
CAST: Tampo, Brody, Stlunko, Stinkoman, Cheatball
PLACES: Boss Caverns, Computer Room, Stinkopolis
PAGE TITLE: Tando 5XXX!
AUTHOR: Zippy
Transcript
{The email starts not in Stinkoman's Computer Room, but in the same dark room as before... the evil three are at their computer, watching Stinkoman's every move.}
TAMPO: Well, Brody, is the plan done yet?
BRODY: Almost, sir. I've just gotta tighten up the graphics in level thr-
{Stlunko his Brody in the back of the head with his fist.}
BRODY: Sorry. Anyway, I've just gotta fix some little bugs in the program and everything'll go smoothly.
TAMPO: I'm not sure... are you entirely positive this will work?
BRODY: Of course! When hav I ever been wrong?
TAMPO: Well, there was that one time last year... Oh, and that other time, and that other time... OH! An there was also that other--
BRODY: I get it, I GET IT! Jeez, you don't have to rub it in.
STLUNKO: Brody, would you be so kind as to let me analyze the data in your program?
BRODY: Sure, why not?
{Suddenly, a wire with a plug pops out of Stlunko's head and plugs into the computer Brody is working at. He analyzes the data for a few seconds, and removes the plug.}
STLUNKO: Brody, you do know tht there are over one thousand bugs contained in that one program?
BRODY: ... Eh, it's good enough, right?
STLUNKO: These bugs could keep it from mobilizing. Are you su--
BRODY: YES.
STLUNKO: Wouldn't you ra--
BRODY: YES.
STLUNKO: ... Then I will not argue with you anymore. Tampo, your thoughts?
TAMPO: It'll do the job, with or without bugs! Let's just get Stinkodork once and for all!
ALL: WAHAHAHA! AHAHAHA! GRAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHA! Haha! Hum.
{Cut to the Tando 5XXX.}
STINKOMAN: {typing "stinkoman's_email.exe} Email, mumble, grumble, email, grumble.
If you are so cool, how come you don't
rule the world, or at least some kind
of field? Mike, UK
{Stinkoman pronounces "UK" as "uck".}
STINKOMAN: {typing} Whu-ha? What do you mean I don't rule the world, or at least some kind of field? Of course I do! I'm so totally cool, I have my own country!
{Stinkoman gets up from his computer. The scene shifts to a field with a wall. A speed limit sign reading "STiNKOPOLiS: POP. STEEL GRiNDER" rests upon a gold bar. A steel grinder rests upon the wall. Stinkoman walks up to it, and smiles.}
STINKOMAN: Ah, Stinkopolis. My great country. Where would I be without you?
{Suddenly, Cheatball falls from the sky and hits the Steel Grinder.}
STINKOMAN: HEEEEY! Don't hurt Steel Grinder! What are you trying to do, get banished?
CHEATBALL: Cheatball!
STINKOMAN: Oh, well. I can't stay mad at you! Now, since we're here and all, we might as well take a tour! Now, over here--
{Stinkoman walks over to the Speed Limit Sign and Gold Bar.}
STINKOMAN: --is our sign. See, it was originally supposed to be a big statue of me, but all we got was the right foot of it. I wonder what distracted us... Whatever. Over here--
{Stinkoman walks over to the Steel Grinder.}
STINKOMAN: --this is our Steel Grinder, sole resident of Stinkopolis. Yep. He's pretty comfy. And watch what happens when I touch him!
{Stinkoman touches the Steel Grinder and a hologram of a Chorch holding a Spork pops out from behind the wall.}
STINKOMAN: Voila! It's Chorch-Spork, our Steel Grinder defense system! It freaks Cheatball out, you know.
CHEATBALL: {hopping by quickly} CHEATBALL! CHEATBALL! CHEEEEATBAAAALL!
STINKOMAN: Hahaha! He's so scared! Hahaha! Scared. Anyway--
{Stinkoman walks over to a flagpole, where Stinkopolis' national colors are flying. The flag is white with a red dot in the middle, and the dot has blue hair.}
STINKOMAN: Behold! Our national colors!
{The camera pans back down to Stinkoman.}
STINKOMAN: And so, that concludes our tour. Tune in next time when--
{Suddenly, a giant robot breaks through the wall of Stinkopolis. It has what looks like Tampo's head, Brody's body and legs, and Stlunko's eyes and fists. The three bosses are in the robot, piloting their respective sections.}
STINKOMAN: You know, I appreciate a challenge every once in a while, but this is ridiculous.
TAMPO: You're toast, Stinkoman! Using our new... oh, heck. I'm not saying its name.
BRODY: Come on!
TAMPO: NO!
BRODY: Come ooooooon!
TAMPO: Oh, fine. Using our new... {groans} MegaZord, we're gonna crush you. THERE! I SAID IT! Are you happy?
BRODY: Yes!
TAMPO: Good. Now, let's crush him!
{Silence. Nothing moves for five seconds.}
TAMPO: Ahem... LET'S CRUSH HIM.
{The robot still does not move.}
STLUNKO: I told you I should have fixed the bugs before we went here!
BRODY: Shut up! You're just jealous!
STLUNKO: On the contrary; I am very much not jealous.
BRODY: Stop confusing me with big words!
TAMPO: Well this is just great. We're immobilized... AND I CAN'T GET MY SEATBELT!
BRODY: Hey... me neither!
STLUNKO: My seatbelt also appears to be jammed.
TAMPO: Grrr... BROOOOOODYYYYYYY!
BRODY: I'm sorry, sir.
{Stinkoman pushes on the robot and tips it over. The robot lands on the ground with a smash. The three bosses crawl out of the wreckage(well, except Stlunko. He just rolls out of it using his tank treads.).}
TAMPO: Grr... curse you, Stinkoman! CURSE YOU!
STINKOMAN: HAHAHA! Tampo failed! HAHAHA! That robot was junk! HAHAHA! Junk.
{The frame freezes, and the credits roll. At the end, the Paper comes down.}
Fun Facts
- MegaZord is a reference to Power Rangers.
