Shim-Sham-Stuff/Thanksgiving07
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
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Summary
The vegan Broom wishes to steal Thanksgiving to satisfy her vegan ways.
Summary: Narrator, The King of Town, Strong Mad, Strong Bad, Marzipan, Homestar Runner, Coach Z (voice only), Bubs, Strong Sad,
Transcript
{Cut to The Field. The trees are of various colors. What is narrated by the narrator appears as text on the screen. Images of the King of Town in a kitchen, Strong Mad watching football, and Strong Bad, wearing a pilgrim hat, in Strongbadia.}
NARRATOR: Everyone in Free Country, USA liked Thanksgiving somewhat...
{Cut to Marzipan in her house with Carol, looking out of a window in her house.}
NARRATOR: ...but the Broom who lived... somewhere... hated it more than your butt!
MARZIPAN: {sighs} Thousands of innocent turkeys will be mercilessly eaten, again. Don't you think that's wrong, Carol?
{Strings on Carol are plucked.}
MARZIPAN: What do you mean "tradition"?!?
NARRATOR: The Broom hated Thanksgiving and everything related to the day...
{Homestar peeks onscreen.}
HOMESTAR: Oh Marzipan! I'm going to go help Bubs burn 1000 turkeys! I'll be sure to bring you some!
{Marzipan angrily glares at Homestar.}
HOMESTAR: Ohh... so I take that as a "yes!"
NARRATOR: It could be that her head wasn't screwed on the right way!
{Cut to an image of Marzipan with a head buried deeper into her body.}
NARRATOR: It could be that her shoes were too tight...
{Cut to Marzipan looking at a mirror. Homestar is standing by her.}
MARZIPAN: Homestar, do these shoes make me look hippie, or not?
HOMESTAR: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............
NARRATOR: It could be, perhaps, that she opposes everything related to the King of Town with all her might.
{Cut to Marzipan with Carol by The Stick. The King of Town, eating a drumstick, walks onscreen.}
THE KING OF TOWN: Oh, Marzipan! Would you like to eat this with me?
MARZIPAN: What do you think?
THE KING OF TOWN: But, I am your father!
{Silence.}
MARZIPAN: Oh, that's just the biggest crap I've ever heard in my life.
NARRATOR: But I think that the most likely reason of all...
{Cut to an image of a small brain.}
NARRATOR: May have been that her brain was ten sizes too small.
{Zoom out to show Homestar.}
NARRATOR: {muttering} Oh wait... that isn't her...
HOMESTAR: Marzipan, I think a fly wants to go out with me tonight! Is it okay if I cheat on you tonight?
{Cut to Marzipan in her kitchen, where there are piles of tofu on a table. Marzipan is looking out of the window.}
NARRATOR: But, whatever the reason, her pride as a herbivore...
She stood there on the day before Thanksgiving, hating any carnivore...
STRONG BAD: {off-screen} Hey look! Miss Vegan's all alone, because she doesn't want to eat these Bubs Burgers, like normal people! She doesn't want to eat this meat like normal people!
COACH Z: {off-screen} Normal! Strong Bad called me normal!
STRONG BAD: {off-screen} Shut up. Oh, and apparently, Miss Vegan thinks that "killing pumpkins" to make pumpkin pies is cruel as well, as well as eating mashed potatoes! Oh, how cruel of us!
BUBS: {off-screen} Anyone see where the Poopsmith went? He left behind some bag in my freezer, where I normally keep my hamburger patties!
STRONG BAD: {off-screen} You mean, the ones that you put in your Bubs Bur...
{Retching noises are heard.}
COACH Z: {off-screen} I still think this burger is great!
{Pan swipe to show Marzipan looking at Strong Bad dressing up The Stick as a turkey.}
MARZIPAN: I know they're preparing for the meal.
NARRATOR: ...she snarled with a sneer.
MARZIPAN: Tomorrow is Thanksgiving! It's practically here!
I MUST find a way to keep Thanksgiving from coming,
In order to keep the turkeys living and humming!
And I can't bear to have all of those pumpkins smashed!
And those poor potatoes should not be eaten mashed!
MARZIPAN: {aside} Not to mention the stuffing is a messy way to eat vegetables, so I should save the stuffing too!
{Cut to a close-up of Marzipan.}
MARZIPAN: But how? How can I stop the slaughter caused by people with savage appetites?
{Homestar pops onscreen.}
HOMESTAR: Did you call for me, Marzipan?
NARRATOR: Then she got an idea!
{Marzipan smirks as her hair begins to curl upward.}
NARRATOR: An awful idea!
{Marzipan's hair continues to curl. Homestar gets a look of surprise.}
NARRATOR: The Broom got an idiotic, horrible, Homestar-ish idea!
{Marzipan's hair continues to curl.}
HOMESTAR: Did you get a new perm? You look uglier than before!
MARZIPAN: I know just what to do!
HOMESTAR: Yeah, you should start walking around bald.
{Marzipan faces Homestar.}
MARZIPAN: Didn't I kick you out of my hou... Say, Homestar. How would you like to do an errand for me tonight?
HOMESTAR: Oh, boy! Errands! Errands! I have no idea what they are, but why not?
{Cut to night. Homestar is dressed in a black dress, carrying empty sacks. He is also carrying a sign saying, "SAVE THE POULTRY AND VEGGIES!!!"}
NARRATOR: Homestar loaded some bags and some old, empty sacks,
In order to satisfy the Broom, so he must not be lax!
{Cut to Homestar in others' kitchens, stuffing turkeys, stuffing, pumpkin pies, and mashed potatoes in his sacks and bags.}
NARRATOR: Around the entire town, he took every Thanksgiving food,
He left the fridges and tables clean, isn't that a bit crude?
{Cut to Homestar with his sacks in Strong Bad's basement. He is looking under the couch.}
NARRATOR: He even looked in hidden places for scrutiny,
But soon, he found himself with some company.
{A slightly tired Strong Sad walks onscreen.}
STRONG SAD: Uh, hey Homestar.
HOMESTAR: Oh, hey Strong Bad!
STRONG SAD: Yeah... what are you doing in this house in the middle of the night with sacks and black clothing? Are you stealing our possessions?
HOMESTAR: Uh... who says so? Yeah! Who says so?
STRONG SAD: Well, I just said you're here in the middle of the night, wearing black clothing, and you have filled-up sacks.
HOMESTAR: No, I'm actually doing these errands! Errands are the greatest! Errands are kings!
STRONG SAD: You don't know what errands mean, do you?
HOMESTAR: {sadly} No...
STRONG SAD: Well, Homestar, maybe you should stop doing these errands and...
STRONG BAD: {off-screen} Hey! Where did Strong Sad go?
STRONG SAD: {worried} Oh no... Not now...
STRONG BAD: {off-screen} Maybe we should've locked Strong Sad in the bathtub earlier. That way, he'd be less reluctant.
STRONG MAD: {off-screen} SPEED IS KING!!!
STRONG BAD: {off-screen} Well, it's a good thing your punch in his face made him forget how special Thanksgiving is!
STRONG SAD: Thanksgiving?!? It's a special day?!?
HOMESTAR: Uh... may I go now?
{Cut to Marzipan looking out through a window in her house. It is morning. The sacks of food are behind her.}
NARRATOR: Then Thanksgiving day came, with all of the traditional foods stolen,
The Broom looked outside to see how things will be spoken.
{Cut to Marzipan as she gets a slightly shocked expression.}
NARRATOR: But then, the Broom saw something that gave her a scare...
{Cut to Strong Bad and Bubs by the Stick.}
STRONG BAD: So, Bubs, you suddenly lost your Thanksgiving feast too?
BUBS: Yeah. Who knew turkey and vegetables had legs?
STRONG BAD: Uh... yeah... Well, I don't really care about that feast anyway. Bunch of stomach aches. Not to mention I can't move to stop Strong Mad from watching that thing called... uh... feetball?
BUBS: I agree. I mean, Thanksgiving is never good for business. Have you ever heard of the sale the day after?!? DISCOUNTS!!! DISCOUNTS!!! It's MADNESS!!!
STRONG BAD: You never give discounts!
BUBS: {aggressively} Who says? Are you accusing me, runt?
{Strong Sad walks onscreen.}
STRONG SAD: I could have sworn today is supposed to be a holiday!
{Cut to Marzipan in her house. She is now looking at the sacks of food.}
NARRATOR: ...people just simply did not give a care.
MARZIPAN: Gosh. People didn't really enjoy brutally eating turkey after all.
{Cut to the King of Town in his dining room. He is furiously crying to the point of flooding the dining room with his tears. The Poopsmith, on a tube floating on the sea of tears, is lounging.}
KING OF TOWN: {crying} Oh, the end is here! The end is here! The madness has finally struck!!! Oh, doo, hoo, hoo!!!
{Cut to Marzipan in her garden.}
NARRATOR: And so, she dealt with the stolen food in her own way...
{Cut to Marzipan's garden, which is large. There are labels saying "Turkey plants", "Potatoes", "Vegetables", and "Pumpkin" in the garden.}
NARRATOR: It was said that her garden grew three times that day.
MARZIPAN: There! With the food planted, these poor souls should come back to life by spring!
{Homestar walks onscreen.}
HOMESTAR: That is the worst idea ever! {pause} Hey, Marzipan! Guess what? My Thanksgiving food was stolen! I wonder who did it?
NARRATOR: And so, with her victory full of new sheen...
{Cut to Marzipan in her house, humming as she goes to her living room, where there are picket signs. She picks one up, which has a picture of a pink hare.}
NARRATOR: She went to work for the greater good of saving the hares from Decemberween.
And so, the Broom has stolen Thanksgiving,
It wasn't until the next day when it was found, barely living.
{Pan out as a book closes.}
Easter Egg
- Click on the screen as the narrator says the last line to hear this:
NARRATOR: No, this is not a pathetic excuse,
For the lateness of the presentation of the Broom's ruse.
{Pause}
Yep. It's not a pathetic excuse. It's poetic! {pause} Crap, I was supposed to rhyme, right?
Fun Facts
- This is based on How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
- Strong Bad in a pilgrim hat in Strongbadia references colonization.
- Marzipan is commonly mistaken for a broom.
- Marzipan's "shoes" reference her apparent lack of legs.
- The belief that The King of Town is Marzipan's father stems from the Old Characters Page.
- The idea of Strong Sad getting locked in the bathtub is first presented in The Best Decemberween Ever, although he's normally locked in the bathtub for Decemberween.
- Marzipan was seen preparing for protesting against bunnies being eaten for Decemberween in this toon.
- Bubs references Black Friday.
- The Easter Egg references how this Thanksgiving fanstuff is released the day after Thanksgiving.
