Resident Daisy/6
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Summary
Daisy eats for the first time in her life... with bad consequences...
Cast (in order of appearance): Daisy, Bubs, The Poopsmith, Bubs, Coach Z, King of Town, The Knight, Homeschool Winner, The Hurricane, Trivia Time, Champeen, The Unguraits, Dijjery-Doo, Preshy, Rafferdy, The Little Chef Guy, The Cheat
Transcript
{Cut to Daisy walking to the other side of the pile of Whatsit. Behind her, Bubs is still whacking The Poopsmith with a baseball bat. Coach Z has been thrown onto the ground, currently forgotten. The King of Town frantically "runs" to the scene from the left.}
KING OF TOWN: Stop! What are you doing? Why are you whacking my Poopsmith?
DAISY: Huh? Are you whacking my Poopsmith?
BUBS: {whacking The Poopsmith} Ignoring what that girl just said, The Poopsmith was about to commit a crime against nature! Now, that's not acceptable in the world of today!
DAISY: Well, I'm not quite happy today!
KING OF TOWN: And neither am I! Don't you know who I am? I'm the king! You should tell me...
DAISY: Oh dear, do you need? I asked you the world of today!
{The King of Town looks at Daisy.}
BUBS: Anyway, that crap's not going to buy his freedom today. We'll see him in court! Come on, baseball bat!
{Bubs drags the unconscious The Poopsmith off-screen. Coach Z is left behind. Suddenly, Daisy pats the King of Town's where his butt should be.}
KING OF TOWN: Hey! What was that for?! I feel violated!
DAISY: I see an original statement...
KING OF TOWN: {lowers head} Oh, I can't take this anymore. This situation's too stressful for an old man's head! I need my medicine!
DAISY: Lappy delete? What do you think I need an additional 96 dollars!
KING OF TOWN: No, not that. I'll need this!
{The King of Town gets out a bottle of chocolate syrup and drinks from it.}
DAISY: Whatever. I'm out of here. For the temporary transformation!
KING OF TOWN: {drinking chocolate syrup} Oh, so you're leaving? Well... Uh...
{Suddenly, Daisy grabs the King of Town's bottle of chocolate syrup, takes it from him, and drinks from it, making the King of Town cry out in surprise.}
DAISY: Oh, so you free food!
KING OF TOWN: Hey! What are you doing, taking medicine from old men and starving me?!? Give it back! {whining} This is a very unroyal move to do!
DAISY: Homestar, this is my home. How much do introductions cost?
KING OF TOWN: Huh? But... but... this is my castle!
DAISY: Huh? Are you should tell me...
KING OF TOWN: Wait, so you want to visit my castle?
DAISY: Oh, her? Well... wait, how much as I do.
{The King of Town thinks for a second.}
KING OF TOWN: Why not? I haven't had special guests for many dinners!
DAISY: An additional 96 dollars!
{Pan swipe. Cut to the King of Town and Daisy in front of the King of Town's pantry.}
KING OF TOWN: So, here's all of my foodstuffs. Now, we seem to be experiencing a shortage, so...
{The King of Town grabs a bag of Pork Snagglins and eats it, bag and all.}
KING OF TOWN: ...no food for you. But please, look around. I'm going to find some fried fudge marshmallows with skin conditioners.
DAISY: What? What, do you have to think of it.
KING OF TOWN: No, that's what I have the little Chef guy for. Well, I'll be gone to have my fried heart attacks!
{The King of Town walks off-screen.}
DAISY: Wait, so you free food!
{Pause.}
DAISY: Well... she's just a cool guy.
{Daisy looks at the pantry, which includes Awwww Gratin potatoes, Butter-da, Pork Snagglins, Fluffy Puff Mayo, Potate chips, Cocoa Butter, and Animal Phat. Then Daisy grabs a container of Animal Phat. Pan swipe to show the King of Town walking to his pantry in shock. Cut to the pantry to show that it's been emptied of all of its food, containers and all. Daisy is eating from a container of Cocoa Butter.}
KING OF TOWN: AHHHH!!!! HERESY!!!! HERESY!!!!!! GIVE ME BACK MY COCOA BUTTER!!!
DAISY: Well, you've got the cool guy for. Well, I'll give you free food!
KING OF TOWN: {panicking} You'd BETTER give it to me!
DAISY: You'd better give me back my name is Daisy.
KING OF TOWN: {slightly serious} Drop the Cocoa Butter before I get regal!
DAISY: You'd better give it to me!
{Daisy drops the container of Cocoa Butter. Cut to the container to show that it's empty. Cut back to Daisy and the King of Town, who is slightly fuming.}
KING OF TOWN: That's it! Knight! Put the heathen in the dungeon!
DAISY: That's it! Get them out!
{The Knight comes and drags Daisy away.}
DAISY: {off-screen} King of Town? Are you extra!
{The King of Town picks up the empty container of Cocoa Butter and "caresses" it.}
KING OF TOWN: Oh, my poor, sweet dearie. How am I supposed to recover now? Oh...
{The King of Town makes to faint. Suddenly, he gets out a dirty stick of butter from inside his clothes and begins to eat it.}
KING OF TOWN: Mmm... this is good butter...
{The King of Town ravenously eats the rest of the stick of butter. Then he looks at the empty container of Cocoa Butter, picks up the container, and eats it greedily.}
{Cut to a dark dungeon deep inside the castle. The Knight throws Daisy into a jail cell and closes it. Cut to the jail cell. Behind Daisy is Homeschool Winner, who looks tired, dirty, and weak.}
HOMESCHOOL: So, you peeved the King enough to be thrown into the dungeon?
DAISY: What? A little girl break into that area!
HOMESCHOOL: Excuse me? I didn't quite get you.
DAISY: That's it!
{Daisy grabs Homeschool's leg and begins to chew on it.}
HOMESCHOOL: Alas, the King has imprisoned a lunatic basket case. I see your chances of getting released slim.
DAISY: That's it!
{Daisy continues to chew on Homeschool's leg.}
HOMESCHOOL: Us...
{Cut to The Hurricane in a cell with Trivia Time.}
HOMESCHOOL: {off-screen} ...rejects...
THE HURRICANE: Little kids in green with huge heads are evil...
{Cut to Champeen in a cell. She is with more figures in the shadows.}
HOMESCHOOL: {off-screen} ...people who feel like they're part of the background...
CHAMPEEN: {sad} But I'm supposed to be a champion!
HOMESCHOOL {off-screen} ...and (suspected) maniacs...
{The Unguraits and Dijjery-Doo walk out of the shadows.}
THE UNGURAIT #1: Shut up, red-head.
THE UNGURAIT #2: {to Dijjery-Doo} Come on, walrus. Let's burn her skin and make it tender again!
{Cut to Preshy and Rafferdy in a cell, whacking a poorly-drawn figure of Homestar on the wall with a guitar and pitchfork, respectively.}
PRESHY: We heart Uncle Homestar!
RAFFERDY: I heart stabing! {pronounces it as "stay-bing"}
{Cut back to Homeschool and Daisy.}
HOMESCHOOL: ...have been in here for years. You might as well dig your grave right now.
{Cut to shots of various holes in the cells, with stickers indicating whose graves they are (Champeen, The Hurricane, Dijjery Doo, Trivia Time, and The Unguraits). Cut back to Daisy and Homeschool.}
DAISY: Could you elaborate about your family life like?
HOMESCHOOL: If I had a family that cares, but then, I wouldn't be in here.
THE HURRICANE: {off-screen; to Homeschool} Shouldn't you be digging up your grave too?
DAISY: Huh? But... but... this is my castle!
{Homeschool looks at Daisy, shakes his head, and speaks.}
HOMESCHOOL: No. Not me. Unlike you fools, I have enough brains to not just contemplate escape, but be so close to accomplishing it. I just need my client to give me one last ingredient.
DAISY: Can you please come up with this imitation crap, huh?
HOMESCHOOL: Actually, I have tried to use imitation crap, but it didn't work out so well.
DAISY: Ser- Okay, what's with this imitation crap, huh?
HOMESCHOOL: Well... Cornbread's shoes! He's finally here!
{The Chef walks onscreen with a packet.}
THE CHEF: {in strong accent} Final ingredient for you, nerdy prisoner?
DAISY: Final ingredient for weeks!
HOMESCHOOL: Please!
{Homeschool starts shaking in excitement.}
DAISY: So, are you just said, but please, stop shaking me!
HOMESCHOOL: Sorry. Just excited. {to The Chef} So, give me the ingredient and never come back!
{The Chef grudgingly gives Homeschool the packet and leaves.}
DAISY: AHHHH!!!! HERESY!!!! HERESY!!!!! Give me back my Cocoa Butter!!!
HOMESCHOOL: Oh no. The cell is already eating into your brain. You're sounding like the King. I promise, you can escape with me.
DAISY: AHHHH!!!! HERESY!!!! HERESY!!!!! Give me back my Cocoa Butter!!!
HOMESCHOOL: A young mind like yours doesn't deserve to be stuck in here.
THE HURRICANE: {off-screen} I'm young!
HOMESCHOOL: Shut up. Now, {gets out a bottle labeled "D4NG3R!"} allow me to allow the DE to absorb the nitroglycerin to create for me a portable explosive!
DAISY: I'm sure Strong Bad. You must be a hot girl? Because I think I should tell me...
HOMESCHOOL: Thanks for reminding me. Revenge must be done once I'm out...
{Homeschool breaks some diatomaceous earth out of the packet and drops it onto the floor. Then he pours a little liquid from the bottle onto the DE, creating grey paste. Homeschool then picks up some of the paste.}
HOMESCHOOL: I've done it! I've created a stable, portable explosive I can use on my own free will!
DAISY: Wait, did I don't really see him in court! Come on, baseball bat!
HOMESCHOOL: Don't worry. I'll use this immediately!
{Homeschool places the paste he's holding onto a wall opposite to that with the dungeon door.}
HOMESCHOOL: Hmm... I don't know how it should expl-
{Suddenly, the paste blows up, sending the unhurt Homeschool flying onto the floor. When the smoke clears, a large hole has been made into the wall, brightening the dark dungeon.}
HOMESCHOOL: YES! YES! YES!!! FREEDOM!!! SO LONG SUCKERS!!! I'M OUTTA HERE!
DAISY: Yes!
{Homeschool jumps out of the hole. Cut to an exterior view of the dungeon, which is on the top of a tower of the castle. Homeschool, screaming, falls all the way to the ground, making a Homeschool-shaped hole. Cut to Daisy inside the dungeon cell.}
DAISY: Yes!
HOMESCHOOL: {faintly; from outside} Ouch...
DAISY: What, are you take me there, little girl! Can get them out!
{Daisy jumps out of the hole, out of the tower, and to the ground. Cut to the Homeschool-shaped hole on the ground, where Homeschool is feebly getting up.}
HOMESCHOOL: Yes... freedom... the big, vast, world where I can do anything I want to do freely!
{A shadow falls over Homeschool. Homeschool looks up and is about to scream. Suddenly, Daisy safely lands on Homeschool's body.}
DAISY: Assuming you didn't run off! I do.
{Daisy runs away.}
HOMESCHOOL: {feebly} Well, at least in my paralyzed state, I can still smell the fresh air.
{Pan out to reveal a garbage truck. It dumps its garbage onto the Homeschool-shaped hole. The garbage truck door opens and The Cheat gets out and runs off, laughing. Cut to the covered hole.}
HOMESCHOOL: {from under the hole; muffled} Say, didn't I leave some of the explosive paste in the dun-
{Pan out to show the entire tower with the dungeon. There's an explosion from the top of the tower, making the portion with the dungeon fall off and onto the pile of garbage over the Homeschool-shaped hole.}
HOMESCHOOL: {from under the hole; muffled} Me and my big overbite mouth.
{Fade to black.}
Fun Facts
- This continues from the previous episode.
- Awwww Gratin potatoes, Butter-da, Pork Snagglins, Fluffy Puff Mayo (from A Decemberween Pageant), Potate chips (from morning routine), Cocoa Butter (from suntan, and Animal Phat (also from suntan) are all foodstuffs seen in the bet, which also featured The King of Town's pantry.
- The Hurricane, Preshy, and Rafferdy (the latter two known for torturing Homestar and using a guitar and pitchfork offensively) were seen in Why Come Only One Girl?.
- The Hurricane's talk about "Little kids in green" references The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker, which was why The Hurricane was scrapped.
- Trivia Time, a rejected character who's seen as a cookie jar in Marzipan's kitchen, was meant to be Pom Pom's pet dog.
- Champeen was seen in a background of Dancing Bubs.
- Dijjery-Doo was seen in the Museum Sketchbook.
- The Little Chef Guy speaks as he does in KOT's VOQPCS!
- Alfred Nobel made dynamite from nitroglycerin and diatomaceous earth, which can absorb the explosive liquid.
