Resident Daisy/4

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

Summary

Daisy spends the morning with Coach Z and Bubs.

Cast (in order of appearance): Dr. Liidburg Jr., Dr. Paul, Dr. Myer, Daisy, Coach Z, Bubs

Transcript

{Cut to Dr. Liidburg's lab complex in 31X7. Dr. Liidburg Jr., Dr. Paul, and Dr. Myer are looking at a hologram of Daisy and Coach Z lying unconscious on The Field in 2007.}

DR. PAUL: {sarcastic} Well, I can clearly see this project is being successful, am I not correct?

DR. MYER: Yes. Only three days into the project, and Daisy still can't make sentences that make grammatical sense or sense in context. Not to mention she is unconscious without learning how to wake up.

DR. LIIDBURG JR.: Shut up. So I should've armed Daisy with some more basic functions... such as learning how to wake up... {sighs} Fine I'll do some cheating to get the project moving again.

DR. PAUL: Either way, you've proven to us that this project is in-

DR. LIIDBURG JR.: Shut up before I burn all of your Periodic Table posters.

DR. PAUL: {alarmed} What?!? You will never touch them! You will never touch the precious posters!!!

{Pause.}

DR. LIIDBURG JR.: {voiceover} But what perplexes me is how Daisy was able to know that one green creep's name without meeting him at all...

{Cut to The Field in the morning. Coach Z wakes up, holding his head and grabbing his back.}

COACH Z: Ugh... man... what happened yesterday? This is not like sleeping on the hard, cold bench!

{Coach Z looks around and sees Daisy.}

COACH Z: Oh right! There's that girl who likes floweirs! She must've had allergies too!

{Coach Z begans to shake Daisy to wake her up.}

COACH Z: Hey! Wake up! Raise and shorne!

{Daisy wakes up. Immediately, Daisy grabs Coach Z and begins to shake him.}

DAISY: Hey! Wake up! Raise and shorne!

COACH Z: {being shaken} Hey! Stop shaking yer elder! It's a torrible thing to do!

DAISY: No. You won't do so. Now, are you a hot girl.

COACH Z: {being shaken} What? Am I a hot girl? Wow. I never thought of that... But please, stop shaking me!

DAISY: {sighs} Special attention or not, you can stop, now.

COACH Z: {being shaken} Stop whort?

DAISY: Stop it! You're incapable of doing.

COACH Z: {being shaken} If you say so...

DAISY: Excuse me? Are you okay? Did you just say?

COACH Z: {being shaken} I'm prabably not going to be okay if you don't stop shaking me!

DAISY: {sighs} Special attention or not, you can stop, now.

COACH Z: {being shaken} Okay! If you stop shaking me, I'll give you free food!

DAISY: Hot girl? I would've done. I guess you can stop, now.

{Daisy finally stops shaking Coach Z. Coach Z stands up and shakes his head a little bit. Then he looks at Daisy, who stands up.}

COACH Z: Locker room, sharll we?

DAISY: Ser- okay, what's with this imitation crap again?

COACH Z: Eh?

DAISY: Well, I don't really know if it's possible to the makeup room!

COACH Z: Makeup room, eh? Maybe you can show it to me later! But now, follow me!

DAISY: Okay. Seriously. The makeup room!

COACH Z: But the food is in the locker room...

DAISY: Okay. Seriously. The makeup room!

COACH Z: How about I get the food, and you can take me to the makeup room. How about thaert?

DAISY: Okay. Seriously. The makeup room!

{Coach Z shrugs and walks off-screen. Daisy stands there, breathing. Soon, Coach Z runs to Daisy.}

COACH Z: Oh maern! I don't have any moldy sandwiches left in the lacker room!

DAISY: Okay. Let's just use barbaric language, do elaborate about thaert?

{Coach Z looks at Daisy, slightly bemused.}

COACH Z: Barbaric language? Uh... {scratches back} I don't have any dirty food in the locker room?

DAISY: Okay. Seriously. The makeup room!

COACH Z: Okay, but first, let's buy some food from Bubs'! I'm hungry! And you must be too!

DAISY: Are you talking about computers? The barbaric language again!

COACH Z: {alarmed} Comporters? {screaming} I know nothing of comporters! Don't look at me! {pause} Oh... I mean, never mind!

DAISY: Huh? that wasn't meant to be funny.

COACH Z: {sad} Oh maern...

{Screen-wipe to show Coach Z and Daisy walking to Bubs' Concession Stand. Coach Z leans on the counter. Daisy stops behind Coach Z.}

COACH Z: Hey Bubs! Taerp of the morning to ye!

DAISY: Why, I never met anyone who are you?

BUBS: {angrily} Coach Z, I told you that the next time you say that, I'm going to have to start charging you!

COACH Z: {pleading} Oh come on! Just this once! I just want to refill my supply of moldy sandwiches! So, hit me!

{Bubs shrugs and turns his back to Coach Z, getting his order.}

COACH Z: Oh, and while you're at it, get me some borttles of Listerine! You don't know how lonely I was yesterday without a nice drink!

{Bubs faces Coach Z.}

BUBS: What do you think my concession stand is? A bar? 'Cause that's going to cost you $25 for the temporary transformation!

COACH Z: {disappointed} Aw shucks...

DAISY: Oh, you love flowers as much as I do.

BUBS: Say, who is that girl you have with you?

DAISY: Say, who is one of those "bad days".

{Coach Z looks at Daisy.}

COACH Z: Oh, her? Well... wait, how much do introductions cost?

DAISY: What? Are you just say?

BUBS: $30! Now spend wisely!

DAISY: $30! Now spend wisely!

BUBS: Mimicking me will cost you an extra ten bucks!

DAISY: $30! Now spend wisely!

BUBS: So, are you going to introduce her to me, coach?

DAISY: Oh, her? Well... wait, how much as I do.

COACH Z: Well... she's just some girl I picked off of the street... Wait! No! That's not what I meant!

DAISY: Daisy I'm home! From my running off!

{Coach Z faces Daisy, about to make a retort.}

BUBS: {solemn} I understand completely. {normal} What I recommend is that you buy some {quietly} horse heads I have deep in the basement! Hundred bucks each! And for a special offer, there's a discount of a negative 96 dollars!

DAISY: My, you speak for yourself.

{Bubs looks at Daisy, slightly perplexed.}

COACH Z: Now, now, Bubs.

{Coach Z leans over the counter and pats Bubs' butt, alarming Bubs.}

COACH Z: Let's deal with this like gentlemen, sharll we?

DAISY: Locker room, sharll we?

BUBS: {shocked} Did you just slap my butt?!?

COACH Z: So what if I did?

{Daisy leans over to Coach Z.}

BUBS: Now, now, Coach Z. Patting butts will cost you extra!

DAISY: No. You won't do so. Now, now, Bubs.

{Daisy pats Coach Z's butt. Coach Z turns around and faces Daisy in complete shock.}

BUBS: {silently} Ooh! Butt-patted!

COACH Z: {to Daisy} Did you just pat my butt?!?

DAISY: Now, now, Bubs.

BUBS: What, am I supposed to be involved?

{Daisy pats Coach Z's butt again.}

DAISY: Let's deal with so much orwax, not even Strong Mad punching my boxing gloves... Hey! Stop changing the ground and smell the grass!

COACH Z: {whining} But I'm allergic to grass!

DAISY: But I can clearly see you're not quite happy today.

COACH Z: Of course I'm not happy today! That's the second butt-patt in two days! {panicking} It maerst be a corse! Run!!!!

{Coach Z runs away screaming. Daisy runs after him.}

DAISY: {off-screen} Oh maern! I said?

BUBS: {shouting} Hey! If you're abandoning your sales, taxing's involved!

{Pause.}

BUBS: Today is going to be a slow day...

{Bubs looks around. Then he reaches from under the counter and brings out a wooden box labeled "HORSE HEADS! CERTAINLY L3GAL!"}

BUBS: My, aren't these beautiful...

{Fade to black.}

Fun Facts

• Coach Z is known for sleeping on his bench (such as in A Jorb Well Done).
• Coach Z is known for drinking Listerine.
• Click here to read about butt-patting.