Resident Daisy/2

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Summary

Daisy gets to know Homestar and Marzipan with friendliness and hate.

Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Daisy, Marzipan

Transcript

{Cut to a black screen. The following caption appears.}

{Fade to Homestar lying on the couch in Marzipan's living room. He is spitting Teddy Grahams into the air. Some somehow land on Marzipan's "Thank You" painting.}

HOMESTAR: {sighs} Man! I'm bored! When the crap is the pizza man coming? I mean, I'm sure I ordered correctly! I told the pizza man Marzipan's credit card number, so he should be coming with the pizza!

{Cut to Strong Bad in front of the Lappy 486. He is on The_Much_Cooler_Stuff_Ever.egg, which has a list of expensive products, shown below.}

STRONG BAD: Oh man! This is the greatest thing that can happen to me! Homestar giving me Soon-To-Be-Broke-Pan's credit number! I don't even have to call her on the freakin' phone! Now, I want to buy the golden flamethrower...

{Strong Bad clicks the unseen mouse on "PURCHASE" next to "GOLDEN FLAMETHROWER". The following message appears on the screen.}

STRONG BAD: What??? Why?!? Why?!? Do you know how much I want to burn Strong Sad's ink bottle with the golden flamethrower?!?

{Pause.}

STRONG BAD: Man, that website is good...

{Cut back to Homestar lying on the couch. A "thunk" is heard off-screen, making Homestar stand up, alert.}

HOMESTAR: What the... who's there? Identify yourself!

{More "thunks" are heard off-screen.}

HOMESTAR: Oh, that must be the pizza man!

{Homestar runs off-screen.}

{Cut to Daisy on the front porch of Marzipan's house, continuously walking into the door. Soon, she stops.}

DAISY: {in monotone female voice} Answer my question? Are you human? Or are you immediately.

HOMESTAR: {opens door} Uh... I don't know what you just said, but I can clearly see you're not the pizza man.

DAISY: I guess I said?

HOMESTAR: {confused} Huh? Said what?

DAISY: Well, I guess you said what? Is this the "hot girl"!

HOMESTAR: {shocked} Hot girl? {angrily} I don't know no hot girls here, missy! So why don't you just go and run off!

DAISY: Well, I guess you said what? Let's start this discussion!

HOMESTAR: {happily} Oh, you want to be scholarly, eh? Well, why don't you come into my house?

DAISY: Whoa. Suddenly, I should just go and run off!

HOMESTAR: What? Why?

DAISY: I know. I'm weird, eh? Well, at least I spoke too soon.

HOMESTAR: Well, I don't really know if I should answer that!

DAISY: I don't really see an original statement...

HOMESTAR: {confused} Huh?

DAISY: I don't really see an original statement...

HOMESTAR: Okay. Let's just go inside my house so we can have a smart discussion! With words! {dramatic close-up on Homestar} Scary smart words!

{Cut to the previous shot.}

DAISY: Well, I guess you said what? Let's start this discussion!

HOMESTAR: Yes, inside!

{Homestar makes a pose to prepare for running to inside the house.}

DAISY: Okay. Let's just go and run off!

{Daisy makes a pose similar to Homestar's.}

HOMESTAR: Hey! Wait! Come back!

{Daisy does not run off.}

DAISY: What? You're just go inside my house?

HOMESTAR: Oh, you didn't run off! I thought you did. So, your house, eh?

DAISY: Uh... not bad. You're Homestar. And run off!

HOMESTAR: Yes ma'am!

DAISY: Okay. Let's just go and run off!

{Homestar runs off to the right, with the door slamming shut behind him.}

DAISY: Yes ma'am!

{Daisy stays in the aforementioned pose. Screen-wipe to show Daisy in the same pose on Marzipan's porch at evening. Marzipan walks onscreen with grocery bags.}

DAISY: Well, I'm not your answer, right?

MARZIPAN: Why, hello Miss. What are you doing on my porch, in that weird position of yours?

DAISY: Why, hello Miss. What are you a hot girl?

MARZIPAN: {frowning} Excuse me? What did you just say?

DAISY: I'm aware that that's what you're incapable of doing.

MARZIPAN: I'm not really here to have conflicts. Especially in front of {slightly angrily} my house.

DAISY: Okay. Seriously. the fun's not so we can have a break... now!

MARZIPAN: {happier} So I guess we're not going to upset the grass we're standing on anymore with negative comments, right?

DAISY: I'm not really see an original statement...

MARZIPAN: I can see that! Let's go into my house so we can get to know each other!

DAISY: So I guess we're not going to upset the imitation crap.

MARZIPAN: {frowning} What did you just say?

{Daisy opens the front door.}

DAISY: Uh... I don't know each other!

MARZIPAN: {smiling} My, you speak in an interesting way.

{Cut to Marzipan's living room. Daisy and Marzipan are in front of the couch and the "Thank You" painting (which still has Homestar's Teddy Grahams on it). Marzipan puts down her grocery bags.}

MARZIPAN: So, sit down on the couch so we can introduce ourselves to each other.

DAISY: Whoa. Suddenly, I thought you did. So, your house, eh?

MARZIPAN: Uh... I didn't. Yes, this is my house. Lovely, isn't it?

DAISY: Now that didn't make any grammatical sense! If you immediately.

MARZIPAN: Excuse me?

DAISY: {frowning} Excuse me? Are you back to this imitation crap.

MARZIPAN: {angrily} What? Are you accusing me of... what is this... "imitation"?

DAISY: Ser- Okay, what's with this imitation crap.

MARZIPAN: Are you implying that my sweet veggies are... {gasps} not... {close-up on Marzipan} real?!?

{Cut back to Daisy and Marzipan.}

DAISY: Are you implying that my sweet veggies are... {gasps} not... {close-up on Daisy} real?!?

{Cut back to Daisy and Marzipan.}

MARZIPAN: What, are you mocking me, now?

DAISY: Are you implying that my sweet veggies are... {gasps} not... {the camera moves to zoom in on Daisy, but immediately stops} real?!?

MARZIPAN: Okay, you can stop, now.

DAISY: Okay, you can get to know what you just a cool guy.

{Silence. Then Marzipan gets a look of sympathy and understanding.}

MARZIPAN: Oh my. I'm dealing with someone who needs special education! I can't believe I let myself into a state of argument!

DAISY: Well, I don't really see an aspirin... or a state of argument!

MARZIPAN: Oh dear, do you need your medication? What do you need? I believe aspirin is evil to nature!

DAISY: No. You won't do so. Now, are you a hot girl.

MARZIPAN: {sighs} Special attention or not, you need to monitor your language, Miss.

DAISY: No. You won't do so. Now, are you a lack in the Lappy delete?

MARZIPAN: {perplexed} Lappy delete? What does that mean? That sounds barbaric.

DAISY: Now that didn't run off! I asked you the Lappy delete?

MARZIPAN: {shocked} Are you talking about computers? The greatest evil since fried pork?

DAISY: Well, if that sounds barbaric.

MARZIPAN: {defensive} That is not barbaric! That is the truth!

DAISY: Are you talking about computers? The fun's not so funny now.

MARZIPAN: {closes eyes} Yes. I agree. Sorry about this. {opens eyes} I seemed to have slipped, again.

DAISY: I'm aware that is the truth!

MARZIPAN: Yes. So, let's go to introducing ourselves. {happily} What is your name? My name is Marzipan.

DAISY: Hey! Wait! Come to think of your name, I don't know what I said?

MARZIPAN: Well, my name is complex. My parents took great pride in my name.

DAISY: Yes. So, let's go into my name is Daisy.

MARZIPAN: Why, hello Daisy. That is such a lovely name. It almost sounds like you love flowers as much as i do.

DAISY: Yes. So, let's go into my parents took great pride in my question!

MARZIPAN: {confused} Uh... they did? {normally} Well, what is your family life like?

DAISY: Uh... not bad. You're Marzipan. And because of your family life like?

MARZIPAN: Yes, I'm Marzipan. Glad you remember. And... uh... what about my family life? I don't really remember that much, so I can't provide much information.

DAISY: Lappy delete? What about my family life like?

MARZIPAN: Assuming you didn't just use barbaric language, do elaborate on your family life. I'm sure I never will elaborate on mine.

DAISY: Why, hello Marzipan. How's life?

MARZIPAN: Uh... good? But {slightly annoyed} I'd appreciate it if you answered my question.

DAISY: Oh, you didn't just use barbaric language, do elaborate on mine.

MARZIPAN: What? {slightly angry} What, do you expect me to use aristocratic language then? Are you implying that...

DAISY: You've got it if you answered my question.

MARZIPAN: {angrily} Why, I never met anyone who thought I'm... uptight! Not even Strong Bad has gone into that area!

DAISY: Not even that?

MARZIPAN: Yes!

DAISY: Not even that?

{Marzipan opens her mouth to make an angry retort when a door opening and closing is heard.}

HOMESTAR: {off-screen} Marzipan! I'm home! From my running off!

DAISY: Daisy I'm home! From my running off!

{Homestar, slightly sweaty, runs onscreen. He looks at Daisy and gets a look of shock.}

HOMESTAR: Wha! How did this little girl break into our house?

DAISY: Daisy I'm home! From my running off!

{Marzipan gains her composure and lowers her eyelids.}

MARZIPAN: {cooly} Homestar, this is my home. How many times do you have to remember that?

DAISY: Uh... you know, if you emailed me (if you have to remember that)?

{Marzipan closes her eyes.}

MARZIPAN: {annoyed} Oh, not the barbaric language again!

DAISY: Homestar, this is getting freakin' annoying now.

HOMESTAR: Yeah, I agree. The broom's not quite happy today.

{Steam starts to come from Marzipan's slightly shaking head.}

DAISY: Yeah. The imitation crap again?

{The scene freezes as the sound of glass breaking is heard. The scene continues as Marzipan opens her eyes.}

MARZIPAN: {angrily} That's it! Get out of my house! {to Homestar} I guess I will have to recycle the tofu omelette that I was going to make for you!

DAISY: Oh? You guess you said what?

MARZIPAN: {angrily} That's right. Get out!

DAISY: Whatever. I'm out (even though you "acknowledge" that)!

{Daisy walks off-screen. Homestar looks at Marzipan, and then at Daisy. He keeps on looking at Marzipan and Daisy back-and-forth.}

HOMESTAR: Well, if the broom told me to get out of my house...

{Homestar runs off-screen in Daisy's direction. Marzipan closes her eyes and slumps on the couch.}

MARZIPAN: Where's Carol? I need to play some blues... {looks at the "Thank You" painting} And wipe the filthy mess off of my painting!

Fun Facts

  • Homestar was first seen spitting Teddy Grahams in couch patch.
  • The scene with Strong Bad trying to buy stuff with Marzipan's credit card number is a reference to credit card.
    • The_Much_Cooler_Stuff_Ever.egg is a play on the name of the website Strong Bad visits in said email, "Coolest Stuff Ever".
      • The 200 bean burritos and the two-headed cobra from the "Coolest Stuff Ever" are referenced.
    • The name of the website references the Eggs running gag and Homestar mentioning "dot egg" in pom pom.
  • Homestar calls Marzipan a broom again, which may have started in Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 11.2.
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