Other Character Email Trogador/fireworks day

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

The New Trogador Adventures

Episode 006.5: Fireworks Day
It's the annual 4th of July Bosses BBQ, and Trogador wants in on the action.

Transcript

{cut to black screen that says "IN A.D 1776". The screen then changes it's text it to "A GLORIOUS NATION WAS BORN. THAT NATION IS..." The words disappear, and AMERICA in red, white, and blue letters appears. Below are the options "START GAME", "SECRET CODE WORD", and "OPTIONAL OPTIONS". The first set of words light up, and we get taken to this screen....}

{cut to The Field. All of the bosses are gathered here. A banner in between two poles is hung up, reading "ANNUAL BOSS BBQ AND FIREWORKS DAY THING". Tampo is working the grill with an apron that says "KISS THE BRAIN". Bubs pulls up next to him in a blue truck that says "UBS" in white letters on it.}

BUBS: UBS delivery for one Mr. Tampo?

TAMPO: Yes, I'm Mr. Tampo, so-

BUBS: That's UBS, Universal Baloney Shipping!

TAMPO: Right, and if you'd give me the-

BUBS: UBS, what can Bubs do you for you?

TAMPO: Just give me the thing to sign!

{Bubs hands Tampo a clipboard and a pen. Tampo signs his name and gives the clipboard back.}

BUBS: Alright, your baloney's up front!

{Bubs drives away.}

TAMPO: Why the nerve! Why would they drop off the baloney up front and away from the grill?!

{Brody and Stlunko walk up.}

BRODY: So we totally had him cornered and we were like "Hey man, we have you cornered!" and he was all like-

TAMPO: Brody! Tend the grill for a second, I need to go get some baloney.

{Tampo throws the apron on Brody and leaves.}

BRODY: But meat is unethical!

TAMPO: {in the distance} Tasty unethical!

STLUNKO: Are you going to continue?

BRODY: Oh, yeah, right. So he was all like "Nuh-uh!" and we were all like "Yah-huh!" and he was all like "nuh-uh" and we were all like...

{cut to a volleyball court. Saargtsson and The Liekand are on one side of the net, with Nebulon and An Ice Machine on another side. Saargtsson serves the ball and Nebulon bombs it onto The Liekand, who spins around and throws it behind him.}

SAARGTSSON: LIEKAND! You're supposed to get the ball over the net, not behind you!

THE LIEKAND: {speaking very quickly and exaggerating vowels like a weatherman} Well sorry Chief, I just get a little excited when it's my turn to give the ball a good ol' plunk!

NEBULON: Psh. You're just an inferior species.

SAARGTSSON: I wouldn't be talking, you green pink-spotted yellow-eyed alien thing!

NEBULON: At least I'm not The Master's least favorite!

AN ICE MACHINE: AN ICE MACHINE WONDERS WHY WE CAN'T ALL GET ALONG.

{An Ice Machine leaves the net.}

THE LIEKAND: Aww man, look what you made ol Icey do!

NEBULON: No way, Liekand, I can take both of you on, I'm a one man army!

SAARGTSSON: You;re right you are, all of your Astromunds abandoned you!

NEBULON: LET'S JUST PLAY SOME BALL!

{cut to Master Z and Master H sitting in lawn chairs, drinking soda. They are wearing Hawaiian shirts.}

MASTER Z: The 4th of July truly is a majestic day.

MASTER H: I posthumously reject the calcite.

MASTER Z: Yup.

MASTER H: Yup.

{They take sips of their soda.}

MASTER Z: Yup.

MASTER H: Yup.

{An Ice machine shuffles by.}

MASTER Z: Hey, there y'are, icey! Mind cooling down these sodas for me and my buddy?

AN ICE MACHINE: AN ICE MACHINE DOESN'T FOLLOW PUNY GREEN MAN'S ORDERS!

{An Ice Machine shuffles by.}

MASTER Z: {whispering to Master H} He's going through the Terrible Two's.

{Ekersby walks up to the two masters.}

EKERSBY: Shsikyllb I grrtaf tkel beaghgs?

MASTER H: Only if the rocking chair sings!

{Ekersby nods and walks by.}

{cut to Harvax XVII. He is standing over a crate that says "FIREWORKS". Ekersby walks up to him.}

EKERSBY: Dhafhhh it!

HARVAX XVII: Ah, sweet.

{Harvax XVII takes out a crowbar and opens up the crate. He throws the crowbar behind him.}

HARVAX XVII: These are some grade A explosives, sees? Gonna make a real nice boom! Just like my ex-wife's car!

{Harvax XVII begins to laugh while Ekersby starts backing away.}

{cut to Tampo. He is looking at a large tower of baloney slabs.}

TAMPO: How am I supposed to get this over there?

{Trogador walks up.}

TROGADOR: That's a lot of baloney.

TAMPO: Hello, Trogador.

TROGADOR: Hello, Newman.

TAMPO: So what brings you here? You aren't a Boss anymore.

TROGADOR: I'm bored and looking for a party to crash. Why are you guys having a BBQ now, anyways? Isn't that usually for Labor Day?

TAMPO: yes, well, The Master's definition of Labor Day is a little different from ours. He believes that we should work twice as much on that day. So this is the last holiday we have before we have to do double shifts.

TROGADOR: You have shifts?

TAMPO: You can't expect us to be in our Boss Chamber all the time, can you? And the paperwork...

TROGADOR: Paperwork?

TAMPO: Loads of stuff to do with minions. Buying minions, selling minions, minion deaths...

TROGADOR: Well, sucks to be you!

{Trogador walks away.}

{cut to a new screen. It's dark and everybody, including Trogador and Bubs, are silhouetted and sitting in the middle of The Field. Fireworks go up and everybody goes "OOOOOH". This continues for about ten seconds until one that says "Happy July 4th!" comes up.}

THE END!

Fun Facts

• UBS and the slogan is a play on the real-life company UPS. It is also the 20X6 equivalent of the Baloneyman.