Other Character Email Strong Sad/feet
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Strong Sad gets out of the frying pan and into the fire — figuratively speaking, that is.
Cast of Characters: Strong Sad, Homsar, Bubs, Homestar, Marzipan, Coach Z, The King of Town, Strong Bad, Strong Mad
Page Title: Out of the frying pan...
Lines: 87
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG SAD: I've been thinking about it, and... I think I'll check my email.
Dear Strong Sad,
I've been in desperate need of some elephant feet for some time now, and you seem to be thegullibleeasy type. So I'll make a proposition. You can keep the rest of you if I can have your feet.
Sincerely,
Mr. Poacher
STRONG SAD: {mumbles} keep the rest of you if I can have My feet?! What? No! Never! These feet have been with me {picks up foot} since, like, forever! I wish I could say the same for my belly button... {clears screen}
STRONG SAD: What to do? What to do? Alright, Strong Sad, don't panic. Think... think... Oh yeah. {opens the drawer and pulls out a tranquilizer gun} I've been saving this for such an event!
{Strong Sad stands up and points the gun at the door. A few seconds later, the doorbell rings.}
STRONG SAD: Come in!
{The door opens. Strong Sad shoots the tranquilizer gun.}
STRONG SAD: {smirks} Heh! That'll teach you...
{Cut to the door. Homsar is in the doorway, with a tranquilizer dart in his chest.}
STRONG SAD: {shocked} Homsar?
HOMSAR: {gradually fading} The Magical Mystery Tour is coming to take me away...
{Homsar falls to the ground.}
STRONG SAD: What have I done? Wait, that's not important. What am I going to do? Destroy the evidence!
{Strong Sad picks up Homsar and, with amazing force, shoves him in the drawer.}
STRONG SAD: Bubs'!
{Strong Sad rushes out the door. Cut to Bubs.}
BUBS: {counting Monopoly money} Doo-doo-doot-doo...
{Strong Sad runs in.}
STRONG SAD: Bubs! You've got to hel — wait, why are you counting Monopoly money?
BUBS: Never you mind. Now start babbling again!
STRONG SAD: There'sthispoacherandhe'saftermeandIknockedoutHomsar!!!
BUBS: Oh, Mr. Poacher, eh?
STRONG SAD: What? I didn't say anything about a Mr. Poach — Hey, what are you doing?!
{Bubs dons an evil grin, produces a knife and slowly starts walking towards Strong Sad.}
STRONG SAD: AH! You're Mr. Poacher!!!
{Strong Sad runs off. Cut to the inside of Homestar's house.}
STRONG SAD: {rushing in} Homestaryougottahelpme —
HOMESTAR: {interrupting} Up-up-up! Before you start raving, check out my new cow lamp! Shiny! {holds up the cow lamp}
STRONG SAD: But you've always had that cow lamp!
HOMESTAR: You cwack me up, Tubbs. That's like saying that Strong Bad always had that wrestling mask.
STRONG SAD: Aw, forget it! You're hopeless!
{Strong Sad punches Homestar in the face. Homestar passes out.}
STRONG SAD: Surprisingly, given the circumstances, I don't feel bad about that at all.
MARZIPAN: {walking in} Hey, what are you doi — Homestar? Strong Sad? {gasps}
STRONG SAD: Oh no! I'm just walking into more trouble!
{Strong Sad runs away.}
{Marzipan produces some flowers from behind her back.}
MARZIPAN: {depressed} Oh, well. Looks like this "asking Strong Sad out" thing isn't going to work after all.
STRONG SAD: {running in the field} Argh! I'm going to have to find a safe haven before I exhaust my options!
{Cut to the inside of the locker room. Strong Sad rushes in yet again.}
STRONG SAD: {exasperated} Coach... Z...
COACH Z: Uh... Before you'se ask any questions, can you take this for me?
{Coach Z presents a mini-Coach Z to Strong Sad.}
COACH Z: You might also want to take this {picks up a toy helicopter}, too. He loves it. Don't you? {baby-talks to the mini-Coach Z}
MINI-COACH Z: {squeals}
{Zoom out. Strong Sad is gone.}
COACH Z: So if you just take care of this, no questions, uh, we'll be fine and goo — Strong Sad? Oh no.
STRONG SAD: {running in the field again} The King of Town! It's my last hope!
{Cut to the interior of the KOT's castle.}
THE KING OF TOWN: {munching on a moldy piece of garbage} Mmm! Mmm!
STRONG SAD: {rushing in again} The KOT! You're my last — what IS that?
THE KING OF TOWN: {pauses and takes it out of his mouth} Um... I dunno. {continues eating}
STRONG SAD: Anyway, I need a place to hide.
THE KING OF TOWN: Well, I can do that, but... You'll have to give me something good.
STRONG SAD: {rummaging through his pockets} Hmm... {pulls out a disgusting M&M wrapper} Melted candy?
THE KING OF TOWN: Sure! {eats the candy, wrapper and all, in one bite}
STRONG SAD: Well...?
THE KING OF TOWN: {yelling} Poopsmith? Close the drawbridge!
{Cut to the castle exterior. The drawbridge is lowered just as Strong Bad, Strong Mad, Coach Z, and Bubs show up.}
COACH Z: Take care of my baby!
BUBS: {brandishing a bigger knife} Lemme get some elephant feet action!
STRONG BAD: Gimme 5 bucks!
STRONG MAD: I WANT BABY POWDER!!!
{Castle interior. The clamor can be heard through the window.}
THE KING OF TOWN: Well, why don't you enjoy some of this with me?
STRONG SAD: Well, erm...
THE KING OF TOWN: Well, in that case... Poopsmith?
STRONG SAD: Alright, alright, I'll do it! Jeez, you people and your demands...
{Strong Sad muscles a piece of garbage down his throat.}
STRONG SAD: This... {muffled} This is really good.
THE KING OF TOWN: Well, why not have some more?
STRONG SAD: That's a gracious offer, but I'm full...
THE KING OF TOWN: {quickly} Well then, off you go.
{The King of Town pushes Strong Sad out the back window. Strong Sad runs back home. Cut to the computer.}
STRONG SAD: {typing} So you see, Mr. Poacher, or should I say, Mr. Concession Stand, we learned absolutely nothing from this little encounter. So why don't you go... {clamor outside gets louder} Oh no.
{Strong Sad runs away as he is pursued by Strong Bad, Strong Mad, Coach Z and Bubs. The Paper comes down, reading: "Click here to email Strong Sad".}
Easter Eggs
- Click on the drawer to hear Homsar.
- HOMSAR: I'm the king of antipathy...
Fun Facts
- "The Magical Mystery Tour is coming to take you away" is a line from the Beatles song "Magical Mystery Tour".
- Strong Sad previously expressed desire for hitting Homestar in Strong Sad's Lament.
- The KOT eating garbage is stolen from a trailer for this movie called "Ratatouille".
Author's Notes
First email! I think this one is pretty good. What do you think, guys?
