Other Character Email Stinkoman/comebackspecial
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
STINKOMAN EMAIL 59!
Stinkoman comes back with a huge comeback specail.
Cast (in order of appereance): .Hack, Katanaman, Stinkoman, 1-Up, Pan Pan, Jaro, Astromunds, Master X, Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Pom Pom, Strong Mad, The Dark Orb Spirit, Strong Bad
Contents |
Transcript
Part 1: A New Beggining...? Or A Dramatic End...?
{Cuts to two .Hack and Katanaman standing in a black background}
.HACK: Are you sure this will work?
KATANAMAN: I am positive. Nobody ever watching Stinkoman's stupid email show. So, Nobody would notice if he died.
.HACK: So, Who are you? We just met five minutes agoo and you told me that you could help me.
KATANAMAN: Well actually, I took over your mind.
.HACK: What?
KATANAMAN: Yeah. I am from the future and I came back to take over you. I am from the year 40X6.
.HACK: Well, I guess it is a possibility that Stinkoman will be destroyed and nobody would notice.
KATANAMAN: Let's put our plan to action.
{Cuts to Stinkoman checking his email on the Windomac 30X6}
STINKOMAN: Are you asking for a challenge, email-man?
Stinkoman,
I still think your email show sucks. Stop copying your ancestors, and bow down to Tampo.
--Troggaa
STINKOMAN: More hatemail? Fine. If you don't need me, I don't need you. I'm perfectly fine without-
{1-Up jumps in}
1-UP: Hey, Stinkoguy. What's going on?
STINKOMAN: Oh. Nothing much, Kidstar.
1-UP: My name is 1-Up.
STINKOMAN: Sorry, Kidstar.
1-UP: {sighs} I want pudding.
STINKOMAN: You sure do, moron.
1-UP: So, What is up with this email? Is it another one of those emails that tell you that Tampo is cooler.
STINKOMAN: Yeah. I really hate those emails.
1-UP: All I can say is that I'm going to miss you and your email show.
STINKOMAN: {sighs}
1-UP: What's wrong?
STINKOMAN: I never got a good enough challenge in a while during my email show. Nobody will ever like me.
1-UP: What are you talking about Your the third or fourth most populer email show in 20X6.
STINKOMAN: Can you check an email?
1-UP: Yes, I can.
STINKOMAN: Show me.
{1-Up sits down and starts typing "stanko_nail.exe" while singing at the same time}
1-UP: {singing} Email is cool. Don't skip school.
Hey Stinkoman, Listen to your name! It is dumb. It sounds like it is sooooo dumb! -20X6 TheCheese
1-UP: {reading} Dear Stinkoman... {talking} Hey, Stinkoman! Look! It's an email for you!
STINKOMAN: {annoyed} Yes...
1-UP: Okay... {finishes reading email, following dialogue is written in a word document} Well Cheese, Stinkoman's name is kind of dumb because of the way Strong Bad named him. {not typed in} Send!
{A message is displayed onscreen reading "Email sent."}
STINKOMAN: {angry} Why, you-
1-UP: {happily} That was fun! Can I do another?
STINKOMAN: {angry} NO!
{Stinkoman leaves}
1-UP: Wow. Stinkoman stinks badly.
{.Hack jumps in and grabs 1-Up. He runs off with 1-Up. Cuts to Stinkoman training in the field}
STINKOMAN: Oh, man. 1-Up is sooooooooooooooo stupid. He looks like he is sooooooooooooooo stupid.
{Stinkoman kicks the air a couple of times}
STINKOMAN: Maybe I should become some evil dude and then I would be noticed more often.
{Pan Pan bounces onscreen}
PAN PAN: {Badling, Badling, Badling}
STINKOMAN: HOO-HA?! 1-Up has been kidnapped?! Let's go challenge whoever kidnapped him!
{Stinkoman jumps into the air and dissapears in a flash}
PAN PAN: {Badling, Badling, Badling}
{Pan Pan jumps into the air and dissapears in a flash as well. Cuts to Stinkoman at the Dark Carnival Zone}
STINKOMAN: I wonder if there are any cool challenges around here. I don't appear to see any. Waaaaah! There's a challenge! {points at Jaro}
{Stinkoman launches a deuce attack at the Jaro. It smashes into peices and the leftover peices flies into the distance}
STINKOMAN: That wasn't much of a challenge. A giant brain or a giant bird is much more of a challenge.
{Stinkoman uses his deuce busters to form a flashing light. The flashing light causes Stinkoman to teleport. Cuts to Stinkoman standing in front of a giant castle}
STINKOMAN: Woah. A castle that I've never seen before.
{Stinkoman runs into the castle and looks at the gaurds who appear to be two Astromunds}
ASTROMUND #1: Oh, look who just walked into the castle, brother.
ASTROMUND #2: Oh, who is it, brother?
ASTROMUND #1: It looks like it's that stupid Stinkoman again and he's asking for a challenge.
STINKOMAN: DOUBLE DEUCE!
{Stinkoman shoots a double deuce attack. The Astromunds pick up their sheilds and deflect the blast. The blast heads straight back towards Stinkoman and knocks him out}
ASTROMUND #2: Stinkoman appears to be weaker then we thought.
ASTROMUND #1: What should we do with him, brother?
ASTROMUND #2: I don't know, brother. I just don't know.
ASTROMUND #1: Maybe we should take him to the master, brother.
ASTROMUND #2: Okay, brother.
{The screen fades to black as the Astromunds carry Stinkoman offscreen. Cuts to Stinkoman slowly waking up}
STINKOMAN: {slowly and weak} Where a-a-am I? I feel h-hurty. I th-think that this p-p-pain is asking for a ch... ch... ch...
{The camera zooms out to see .Hack and The Astromund Brothers}
.HACK: Hahahaha. Stinkoman's voice is slowing down. That must mean that his robotic vocal cords are dying down.
ASTROMUND #2: Aww... But, I don't want Stinkoman to die. Right, brother?
ASTROMUND #1: Exactly, brother. Stinkoman is our best customer at the The Astromund Brothers' Cafe and Bar.
ASTROMUND #2: Maybe, We should become superheroes
ASTROMUND #1: Nah. I think all we have to do is save Stinkoman from .Hack.
.HACK: {looks at The Astromund Brothers} What are you guys saying back there?
ASTROMUND #1: Nothing, nothing.
{The Astromund Brothers walk offscreen}
.HACK: Hahahahaha. I bet nobody cares about you. Nobody even knows your here. You don't even know how you got here, do you?
STINKOMAN: I... I... I...
{1-Up crashes through the wall and spin-kicks .Hack}
1-UP: I want a pudding challenge!
{1-Up gets a power crunch from behind his back and shows it to Stinkoman}
1-UP: Look what I've got, Stinkoman.
{1-Up gives Stinkoman the power crunch and the power crunch powers-up Stinkoman. Stinkoman stands up and strikes a pose}
STINKOMAN: Double Deuce!
{Stinkoman launches an attack which hits .Hack and makes him explode}
STINKOMAN: That was easy. A bit too easy.
1-UP: Well, Lets go back home.
STINKOMAN: Umm... Okay... This was a pretty stupid storyline.
{.Hack jumps up and hits 1-Up}
.HACK: I hate it when prisoners escape!
STINKOMAN: Uh oh!
.HACK: Did you really think I'd die soo easily?
STINKOMAN: Not really. {short pause} Well, What now?
{.Hack jumps to the roof and launches three blasts}
STINKOMAN: {dodges each blast and jumps up to the roof level of the castle where .Hack is}
.HACK: Do you think you can beat me, dude?
STINKOMAN: It depends on how hard you fight. Because you don't seem to be much of a challenge.
.HACK: Hahaha. Such big words from a small guy.
{.Hack jumps into the air and shoots two beams of lightning at Stinkoman. Stinkoman dodges once again and picks up an Astromund sheild. He deflects all of .Hack's attacks}
STINKOMAN: Say goodbye to your life.
{Stinkoman shoots a double deuce attack at .Hack}
.HACK: {.Hack is hit by the blast and falls off the roof level of the castle and lands on the ground very hard}
{.Hack begins to glow which covers the whole castle}
STINKOMAN: Oh no.
{Stinkoman grabs 1-Up and Pan Pan. Stinkoman runs out of the castle with them as the flash grows bigger and starts to vaporize existince}
STINKOMAN: Run!
{Stinkoman, 1-Up and Pan Pan keep running until they reach Stinkoman HQ. The flashing beam continues to grow and vaporize whatever is in it's way}
STINKOMAN: What is going on?
1-UP: .Hack has formed a tri-form blast. A 5tri-form blast is a weird kind of blast. It ccan destroy the universe. It can only be caused if a computer virus is blocked.
STINKOMAN: You mean .Hack was a computer virus?
1-UP: That expplains why there is no history on .Hack.
STINKOMAN: Wait. I thought you were stupid.
1-UP: I'm only stupid sometimes.
STINKOMAN: Okay... So, What does this mean?
1-UP: It means that life as we know it is going to end unless we do something.
STINKOMAN: You mean...
1-UP: Yup! It's time for a challenge!
STINKOMAN: Let's go ask for a challenge!
PAN PAN: {Badling, Badling, Badling}
1-UP: The flash is heading this way. We better hurry and stop the virus at it's source.
Part 2: Changing The Past
{Cut open to Stinkoman standing in front of 1-Up and Pan Pan who are staring at a flash that is slowly covering Planet K's surface and vapourizing it}
STINKOMAN: Woah. Is that huge flashy thing asking for a challenge?
1-UP: I don't like the look of that.
STINKOMAN: You don't like the look of anything 1-Up.
{The flash slowly stops and turns into a man wearing a dark brown cloak with red eyes and a robotic voice}
STINKOMAN: You must be this "Master X" that I've heard about. You must be the flashy thing that was asking for a challenge.
MASTER X: Indeed, I am. I live in the year 40X6 with my five loyal minions known as Omega, Alpha, Delta, Yuta and Beta.
PAN PAN: Baddalang, baddalang, baddalang.
MASTER X: That is correct. I am another one of the many Stinkoman prototypes like Dark Stinkoman and Sticklyman.
STINKOMAN: But, that makes you my- my- my-
MASTER X: Yes, Stinkoman. I am indeed your brother and I shall proove it.
{Master X takes out his sword and uses it to chop Stinkoman's red-ball shaped gloves (deuce busters)}
MASTER X: Don't be a coward. Use your fists and not those stupid gloves that give you deuce powers.
STINKOMAN: Grr...
MASTER X: Hehehehe.
STINKOMAN: {angry} Drop your sword.
{Master X smiles}
STINKOMAN: Wipe that grin off your face and fight me like a real Stinkoman prototype.
{Master X drops his sword on the ground, some background music starts to play as the sword drops to the ground in slow motion}
STINKOMAN: Bring it.
{Stinkoman and Master X start to glow a white colour. They fly into the sky and start punching and kicking each other}
MASTER X: Back when I was Strong Bad's labs, I was going to be the best Stinkoman. But, Stinkoman Prototype 001 forced me to escape with him and many other prototypes.
STINKOMAN: So, that means...?
MASTER X: Hehehehehehehe. It means that Dark Stinkoman, me, Sticklyman and the mysterious man aren't the only Stinkoman prototypes. In fact, when I left that lab, I remember seeing an army of Stinkoman prototypes running away with me and the others. A few jumped into random portals and others died, but most of them just malfunctioned and turned evil just like me.
STINKOMAN: What?
{Master x punches Stinkoman to the ground}
MASTER X: The only reason I let you know the truth is because I knew you'd show your soft side and whenever a warrior shows there soft side, they become vulnerable to an opening attack.
STINKOMAN: Crap.
{1-Up spin-kicks Master X from behind, but nothing happens}
MASTER X: I was aware that you'd do that. Yes, yes. I was one of the dark prototypes that jumped into a random portal and went to 40X6. When I went to 40X6, bad guys made me their ruler.
1-UP: Hang on a sec. Why diddn't my attack do any damage?
MASTER X: I am almost like a god in the year 40X6. I am from an alternate future. I should know what happens in this past time. I am aware of any attacks you have prepared on me and my army of future robots.
1-UP: {cries} I hate you. I'm just going to sit on the chair in front of the TV and eat pudding until I forget why I am sad...
{1-Up walks off in the direction of Stinkoman HQ}
STINKOMAN: Tell me about my prototypes.
MASTER X: Of course. Stinkoman Prototype 001, Dark Stinkoman, the original Stinkoman until he ran away. Stinkoman Prototype 002, Project X, slowly turned into me when he was sent into the future of 40X6.
STINKOMAN: {interrupts} Hold on. What about Sticklyman and the mysterious man that nobody knows about?
MASTER X: Oh, yes. Prototype 003 and 004. Stinkoman Prototype 003 escaped before Strong Bad finished creating him and that is where he got his stick-based design. As for prototype 004, he was actually created by Coach Z and assisted by Strong Bad, but as time went on, Coach Z's robot became a Stinkoman prototype and escaped with the rest of us after creation.
STINKOMAN: What about the others?
MASTER X: I don't know who the other ones are, but I know that you are Stinkoman prototype 285 and Strong Bad only created 287 prototypes. That means there is two prototypes that he never activated.
STINKOMAN: Gr, liar!
{Stinkoman punches Master X, but Master X dodges}
STINKOMAN: If there are 285 prototypes, I would've seen at least half of them by now.
MASTER X: Most of them hide on the other side of Planet K. As for me, I am the strongest of the Stinkoman prototypes.
STINKOMAN: I still think you are a liar. Double Deuuuuuuuuuuuce!
{Stinkoman shoots white flashes at Master X in a pattern while Master X continuesly dodges the blasts}
MASTER X: Hm, what if I just destroyed Homestar Runner all together. I think I'll ask Stinkoman if he'll go back in time and turn Homeschool Winner evil.
STINKOMAN: No!
{Stinkoman tackles Master X, but Master X dissapears in a flash}
STINKOMAN: Crap. Master X has gone back in time. I must stop him.
{1-Up walks onscreen with Pan Pan}
PAN PAN: Badalang, badalang, badalang.
1-UP: Yeah, we found a time machine. You can go back in time and stop that Master X guy from turning Strong Bad evil and causing an apocalypse.
STINKOMAN: But I thought he was going to turn Homeschool Winner evil.
1-UP: No. That was fate time travel, which means that Sticklyman was already destined to go back in time and force Homeschool Winner to get revenge, but Master X is currently using free-will, meaning he could cause a paradox and in fact stop you from existing.
STINKOMAN: Doesn't that mean that I won't exist and neither will the other Stinkoman prototypes. If Master X, Sticklyman and I are never created,, then they couldn't go back in time and cause Homeschool Winner's destiny in the first place.
1-UP: Come on. We have to go back in time.
STINKOMAN: Nah, maybe later. It doesn't look like the effect has taken place yet.
PAN PAN: Badalang, badalang, badalang!
{Pan pan points to the window. Cut to the 20X6 field. It appears that meteors are falling from the sky and causing Planet K to start exploding}
STINKOMAN: {surprised, slowly} Holy... crap...!
{Cuts to Stinkoman at his computer}
STINKOMAN: Come on, we have to go back in time and stop Master X from destroying the past.
1-UP: {in a weak voice} Eeergh... You can go on... I'm a bit sick at the moment from eating those puddings.
STINKOMAN: You're actuallly sick from eating pudding? You never get sick.
1-UP: Just go away and leave me alone.
STINKOMAN: Meh, okay. So, computer, tell me about my mission.
WINDOMAC 30X6: There is 95% of challenges in the year 2oo5. You will have to face a posessed Strong Bad.
STINKOMAN: Okay. Just download everything about my mission into my mind.
{Stinkoman inserts a disc into the computer, as soon as the download is complete, he eats the disc}
STINKOMAN: Okay. Here we go.
{Stinkoman dissappears in a flash. Cut to Homestar Runner, Marzipan and Pom Pom hiding behind Homestar's old abandoned house. Suddenly, Stinkoman appears in a bright light}
STINKOMAN: Hey. You're Homestar Runner, Marzipan & Pom Pom, right?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah! Can I have your autograph?!
STINKOMAN: R- r- really? Well- NO! I have to do something else, I'm here to change somthing, like, about an egyptian ghost?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah! Strong Bad's been posessed by an egyptian ghost!
{Stinkoman ignores Homestar Runner and stares at Marzipan}
STINKOMAN: Oh-ho! Will you introduce me to this lady?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Back off! You may be a star, but I draw the line at someone trying to get Marzipan!
MARZIPAN: Aw, thanks Homestar. I can't beleive you'd care that much. Well, I guess-
STINKOMAN: Wait a minute! This is the ancestor of Marzichan? Woah huh!
MARZIPAN: Yeah. She's our kid.
STINKOMAN: Oh. Well, down to buisness. We'll have to go to Egypt to stop this egyption ghost. We must destroy the thing at it's source. We'll need at least four people.
{Stinkoman uses his deuce buster to count how many people are in the area}
STINKOMAN: Perfect. We can start our mission.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: To Egypt and beyond!
{Cut to them leaving Free Country, USA, the whole population is in Bubs' Consession Stand, congratulating them on doing this. Cut to them getting tickets for a plane bound for Egypt and them getting on the plane. Cut to the gang getting their rooms. Homestar & Marzipan get a first class themselves. While, Pom Pom and Stinkoman share a first class room as well}
STINKOMAN: Woah. Who ever knew I could get such great tickets cause I'm on TV?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I feel sorry for the unfortunates who had to got their tickets given away to us!
{Cuts to the plane taking off. The plane blasts into the air and the camera zooms in through the plane window to show that Homestar Runner is playing a Gameboy. Zoom out to view the plane heading towards a volcano with a picture of Strong Mad's face marked into it. The plane lands and everyone gets out}
MARZIPAN: Are we going the right way?
{Homestar Runner, Pom Pom and Stinkoman turn to marzipan and then turn back to the volcano}
POM POM: {bubbles}
{The entire gang walk up the volcano and enter a strange door, where they see Strong Mad with red eyes}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Huh? Strong Mad? What are you doing here?
STRONG MAD: TO STOP YOU!
{Strong Mad presses a button, on the volcano's wall, that makes him bigger. He seems to get bigger by the minute. The volcano starts to crumble}
STRONG MAD: THERE IS NO ESCAPE!
{Cut to a black screen saying "After one amazing fight", then cut to Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Pom Pom and Stinkoman walking towards a pyramaid where the spirit is. The spirit comes out of the pyramaid and begins talking with an echoed voice}
DARK ORB SPIRIT: Hello, young ones.
STINKOMAN: Okay, ghosty! Stop your spirit possessing Strong Bad!
DARK ORB SPIRIT: Uh-oh. First thing's first. I feel jealousy in this area. {turns to Homestar} Ah-ha. It's the male armless one. Tell me, armless one, what is your anger towards?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: None of your business!
DARK ORB SPIRIT: Aw, looks like I'll just have to get it out of you!
'{He jumps into Homestar, and Homestar drops on the floor}
MARZIPAN: H- H- Homestar? Are you okay?
{Homestar still lays there, then pounces in Marzipan's general direction. Stinkoman pushes Marzipan out of the way so that he gets attacked by Homestar instead of Marzipan}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {in the Dark Orb Spirit's voice} Hold on. I'm trying to find why the armless one is angry. {short pause} Oh, forget it! Strong Bad!
{Strong Bad comes in and looks at Stinkoman, Marzipan and Pom Pom}
STRONG BAD: Is that you, m- master?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yes, clod! Now help me eliminate them!
{They start to kill Stinkoman and Marzipan, when Pom Pom stands in the way. The death rays Strong Bad and Homestar shoot bounce off Pom Pom and instead hit Strong Bad and Homestar}
STINKOMAN: Uh oh!
POM POM: {bubbles}
{Strong Bad and Homestar get up, looking around at what's happening}
STRONG BAD: What's going on?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh hey, Stwong Bad, are you possessed?
STRONG BAD: Huh? Oh, no, what a moronic concept... Where are we?
STINKOMAN: Egypt.
STRONG BAD: AAAH! What is he doing here?!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, he came to stop the spirit inside you.
STRONG BAD: Whatever. Let's go home.
{Fade to black. Cut to Pom Pom, Strong Bad, Homestar and Marzipan, who are saying goodbye to Stinkoman as he goes through the portal somewhere near the stick}
STRONG BAD: Well, I hope we didn't change the future too much.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Bye, Stinkoman.
STINKOMAN: Bye, guys. Oh, and if you meet someone called "Master X", be sure to kill him.
{Marzipan, Strong Bad and Homestar Runner seem confused at what Stinkoman said, while Pom Pom just laughs and gets out his knife}
STINKOMAN: Bye, guys.
{Stinkoman jumps into the portal. The holigraphic paper comes down saying "Click here to email Stinkoman"}
Fun Facts
Explanations
- Soon, this series is going to end. But, I will make one last email after this to say "goodbye" to Stinkoman's old emails and "hello" to the next generation.
Trivia
- The Dark Orb Spirit is the 1939 version of the Dark Elf from 20X6.
- Most of this is from The Homestar Runner Movie 2: The Legend Of The Egyption Ghost.
- What happens to the characters in the pre-20X6 era, does not effect 20X6 at all, quite strangely.
