Other Character Email Homestar/virus

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

Overview

Homestar Runner Email #32 - "virus"

Homestar's computer gets a virus! This is not copying the Strong Bad Email.

CHARACTERS: {In order of appearence} Gunhaver, Original Bubs, Strong Sad {silhouette}, Saddy Dumpington, Dab Gnorts, Homestar Runner, The Cheat, Strong Bad, Bubs

PLACES: {In order of appearence} Cheat Commandos HQ, Review Revue {Transformed into an interview room}, Homestar's computer room, The Field, "Istanbul", Blue Fadey Land

Transcript

{Cut to Gunhaver, saluting "The Flag", as in the thanksgiving 2006 episode.}

GUNHAVER:—Forty-seven! Forty-eight! Forty-nine, fifty! {Turns head} Come on Gunhaver, you maggot! Gimme 50 more! {Faces back} One! Two! Three—

{Cut to static, then a pruple silhouette of Strong Sad, facing Original Bubs. They are in a room that resembles the Review Revue. The sign on the back reads "Interview-type style!!".}

ORIGINAL BUBS:—And that's when I split from Free Country, and became a concession stand owner in Prance!

{Cut to a front view of Strong Sad.}

STRONG SAD: Please, continue.

{Cutback to original view.}

ORIGINAL BUBS: So, my stand was made entirely of eraser fluid—

{Cut to static, then to Saddy Dumpington. Cut to static, then to Dab Gnorts, in front of the King of Town's Grill.}

DAB GNORTS:—and that's why—

{Cut to Homestar watching TV on Strong Bad's Couch.}

DAB GNORTS:—you should never eat raw tomatoes.

'{Homestar lifts a remote, presses a button, and the TV turns off.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, man,—

{Cut to a front view of Homestar.}

HOMESTAR: —that was the worst video game I've ever played. Oh, well.

{Stands up.}

HOMESTAR: Better go checka-my email!

{Walks off-screen. Cut to Homestar's computer Room. Homestar "falls" up from the floor, hits the ceiling, and falls back down. The screen stays at the ceiling.}

HOMESTAR: {offscreen} Umm, hello?

{Screen pans down to Homestar at his computer.}

HOMESTAR: Thanks, man.

BUBS: {offscreen} No prob!

HOMESTAR: Wow, I thought the light would have fallen by now. Oh, well.

{Types in "hsremail.exe", and hits enter. After that, and email comes up.}

HOMESTAR: {reading}

Dear Infected #0002,
You have received a virus if you opened this email.
It will destroy the hard disk, and it is irreversible.
But you can buy a new computer
at Bubs' Concession Stand for only $5_{,000,000,000,000,000}
Come to Bubs' today!
Sincerely,
Bubs Some Virus Guy

{Says '$5' instead of the subscripted 0's, and 'Bubs, I mean Some Virus Guy'}

HOMESTAR: {Typing} What?! How could this happen? Bubs?

{Screen pans up to Bubs, who is standing on Homestar's ceiling with a toolbelt on.}

BUBS: Yeah, H-Star? {Pronounces the letter 'h'.}

HOMESTAR: {Offscreen} Did you send me this email?

BUBS: Uhh, no?

{Before Bubs says 'no' his head turns into Doreauxgard's. After he says 'no' he falls up into a hole that appears in the ceiling. The screen pand down to reveal that Homestar's computer has turned into a case that reads 'Bull Honkey: 27-or-other cases!'}

HOMESTAR: {Typing on the keyboard} Whoa. When did my computer turn into a case of Bull Honkey? I guess that I can stop typing now. {Stops typing.} Well, I betta get this found out!

{Homestar runs to the left.}

HOMESTAR: {Offscreen, and slightly muffled.} Uhh, how did this happen? {Waits about 5 seconds} Hello?

{The screen pans out to reveal that Homestar's head is stuck in a giant red pile.}

HOMESTAR: Umm, how will this affect me? And another thing, what is this giant red pile?

{The screen zooms out to reveal that the red pile is the bottom of one of Homsar's feet. Homsar's leg goes off of the screen. Also, the house has no roof.}

HOMESTAR: A little more...

{The screen pans out greatly, to reveal a giant Homsar.}

HOMSAR: I think that this is really stingy, coat man! DaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAa—

{The screen blacks out. The Cheat, like from virus, comes in from the top-right corner, and collides with the center of the screen. A hole appears, and the screen flickers to Homestar floating in mid-air.}

HOMESTAR: What? Oh, I'm out. Sweet. {Stands up in midair, then falls to the ground.} Betta go check my email.

{Homestar runs to the right side of the screen.}

HOMESTAR: {Offscreen} He{emphasized}llo?

{The screen pans over to reveal Homestar's computer with a hole in it. The Cheat comes out, making dizzy-like noises.}

HOMESTAR: The Cheat? What are you...my computer! Oh, man. Crap!

{The Paper comes down, saying 'click here to email the emotional wreck'.}