Other Character Email Homestar/jumping the shark
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Homestar Email #30: "jumping the shark"
Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, The Cheat, William Shatner, Strong Sad, Homeschool Winner, Thatkidsam, Ekul, The Noid, Homsar, Bart Simpson, Homestar and Marzipan's Baby
Homestar freaks out and does all sorts of crazy things because he can't answer an email.
Contents |
Transcript
{Open up to Homestar at the Compy. The room is darkened, much like at the end of betime story. Homestar has his head bowed over the keyboard and his eyes are closed. Church-like organ music begins to play.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Sometimes........ {the organ music begins to swell to a crecendo} when you don't know what to do........ you just...... gotta......... {the organ music is at its loudest} email.
{The organ music finishes and the lights go up. Homestar opens his eyes and brings his head back up. He types "homestarmails.exe" into the computer, and an email pops up.}
Dear Homestar,
Why do you like Fluffy Puffys so much?
- The Noid
{Homestar reads the email. He pronounces "The Noid" as "The Node".}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {typing} Well, The Node, they're....... white, just like me! And they taste all sugary sweet. And....... well, that's it, really. I like them because they're white and they taste good...... Yeah, that's it, really. Well, maybe I should......... {stops typing} Aw, crap, this is a really horrible thirtieth email. This might've been acceptable for, like, the first email. But for a thirtieth email? Wow, I suck at this.
{Pause.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, I guess I should go do some random stuff and jump the shark now!
{Bad pop-rock music reminiscent of "hip" early 1990s sitcom theme songs (I'm talkin' to YOU, Friends) begins to play. Cut to a montage of Homestar doing different jump-the-sharky things: Him and the Cheat in space suits walking on the moon, him dancing on William Shatner's head, Homestar and Strong Sad rescuing Homeschool Winner from Marzipan's basement, Homestar chatting with Thatkidsam, Ekul, and the Noid, Homestar living in a gigantic mansion and doing hilarious crap, Homestar as a ghost, Homestar making Strong Sad go insane and try to kill everyone but get stopped by Homsar at the last second (who, by the way, has revealed that he is not actually a random guy but a superintelligent pandimensional alien being from a faraway planet), Homestar kicking Bart Simpson in the face multiple times, Bart Simpson kicking Homestar in the face multiple times, and Homestar and Marzipan holding a baby. The guitar finishes its final riff, the music is over, and we cut back to the Compy.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yup, it's all in a day's work for Homestar Runner. And now, after doing all that, I'm really tired. I think I'll go lie down in my bed.... at least, after I switch Strong Sad's soap with a chocolate bar. (The best part is that Strong Bad gets blamed for it.) So, this is Homestar Runner signing out. Be sure to tune in next week for when Monica and Chandler get married!
{Homestar gets up and leaves. The Paper comes down.}
Easter Eggs
- Click on "married" to see Homestar and Marzipan driving away in a car with cans on strings stuck to the back and the phrase "Just Jerried" written in soap on the back window.
Fun Facts
- Not now. Write your own. Just be glad there's an update, OK?
- Oh, and also, I actually LIKE Friends and its theme song, but I can see why people hate them. It is, after all, way too mainstream.
