Other Character Email Bubs/movies
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Contents |
Summary
Bubs shows us some trailers for his new movies.
Cast: Bubs, Marzipan, Drive-Thru Whale, Pom Pom, Coach Z, Strong Sad, Homestar Runner, The King of Town, The Poopsmith, Cheerleader (voiceover), So and So (voiceover), What's Her Face (voiceover), The Ugly One (voiceover), Onion Bubs, Strong Bad (easter egg)
Places: Bubs' Concession Stand, Marzipan's House, Computer Room, The Field, The Locker Room, Strong Sad's Room, The Movie Theater, The Stage
Transcript
{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand. An old computer is sitting on the counter, where Bubs is standing.}
BUBS: Huh. How do I get this thing to work?
Cell Despairon 1.0
Please enter your name:
_______________________
Press enter to continue
BUBS: Uh...{types "bubs"} Bubs. {press enter}
Hello, Bubs!
You have 1 unread email.
BUBS: Wait, a new e-mail? My time has come! A time for a brand new- Wait, how does it know I have an e-mail? I didn't even link it to my account!
Dear Bubs,
Have you ever made movies? Maybe you should.
Ever considered that? HUH? HUH?
WELL, DID YOU, FAT MAN? AH? AH? DIDN'T THINK SO!
{Bubs shouts the capital text, but quickly says "insult made by someone insecure" instead of "FAT MAN"}
BUBS: {typing} Well, unnamed insecure person, as a matter of fact, I have movies! After all, Bubs' Concession Stand is just one of a mere-iad of the many companies I own! I also have:
{Cut to Marzipan's garden. Marzipan and Bubs are standing next to a bush.}
BUBS: {voiceover} Bubs' Pruning Service!
MARZIPAN: Just a little off the top, please.
BUBS: You got it! {pulls out a chainsaw}
{Cut to Strong Bad's computer room. The infected Compy 386 is on the desk, while the walls are flashing pink. Bubs has the same appearance as in "virus", and is holding what appears to be Homestar's leg.}
BUBS: {voiceover} Bubs' Technical Service!
BUBS: Time for you to meet your manufacturer, man!
{Cut to the Drive-Thru Whale, which Bubs is waxing.}
BUBS: {voiceover} Bubs' Whale Waxing Service!
BUBS: Man, how did I get stuck with this job?
DRIVE-TRHU WHALE: That'll be $11.01 plus tax, ma'am. Will that be cash or extra credit?
{Cut to Pom Pom in the field. Bubs is standing in front of him, dressed in a leather jacket with shades.}
BUBS: {voiceover} Bubs' Protection Service!
{Cut to the Locker Room. Coach Z and Bubs are standing there. Bubs slaps Coach Z.}
COACH Z: Orf!
BUBS: {voiceover} Bubs' Sense-Slapping Service!
{Cut to Strong Sad's Room. Strong Sad and Bubs are standing there. Bubs slaps Strong Sad.}
STRONG SAD: Ow!
BUBS: {voiceover} Bubs' Brother-Slapping Service!
{Bubs slaps Strong Sad again.}
STRONG SAD: Ow!
{Cut back to the stand.}
BUBS: {still typing} And, last but not least-
{Cut to the Theater. Homestar and Marzipan are waiting for a movie to begin.}
BUBS: Bubs' Concessional Studios!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aw, man. I cannot wait for these awesome trailers.
MARZIPAN: Homestar, did you even take me to this movie to actually see the movie?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Huh? Oh, sure, sure. Ssh! It's starting!
{Pan to the screen, showing an ad for Fluffy Puff Marshmallows. It goes black.}
ANNOUNCER: {as the words appear on the screen} In a world...
{Cut to a poorly-made stand with a sign reading "QUALiTY MEAT". Coach Z is standing behind the counter. The King of Town and the Poopsmith are standing there.}
ANNOUNCER: ...where those seeking baloney...
COACH Z: Here's your balorney, kids! {holds up a soggy bag of "BULL-OH-NEE"}
THE KING OF TOWN: Do you expect me to eat that horrible excuse for a pile of deli meat?
{The Poopsmith gives a thumbs down.}
ANNOUNCER: ...only get a load of it...
MARZIPAN: {offscreen} Wow, it's like they're not even trying to hide it's a bad pun.
ANNOUNCER: ...one man...
{Bubs' Baloney Sammich truck plows in from the side, plowing over the stand. Coach Z runs offscreen, screaming.}
ANNOUNCER: ...will deliver the meat.
BUBS: Did someone ask for baloney? {holds up sandwiches}
THE KING OF TOWN: Hooray!
{The Poopsmith holds up a sign reading "(excitement)".}
{Cut to the The Baloneyman Cometh logo.}
ANNOUNCER: The Baloneyman Cometh! Coming to theaters....eventually.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {offscreen} Boring!
{Cut to a logo for Teen Girl Squad: The Movie.}
ANNOUNCER: Teen Girl Squad: The Movie! This summer, it's-
CHEERLEADER, SO AND SO, WHAT'S HER FACE, THE UGLY ONE: {voiceover} SO GOOD!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {offscreen} Borrrring!
{Cut to a logo for Bubs: A Self-Made Man.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {offscreen} Borrrrrrrrrrring!
{Cut back to the stand.}
BUBS: {typing} Unfortunately, all my movies have been box office bombs! {pause} Literally! They've had to repair the theater at least ten times! So after Baloneyman XIII: The Wisdom of the Sandwich, I decided to quit the movie-making business. You know what they say: there's no quittin' business like quittin' show business. But at least my lead actor is popular!
{Cut to the stage, where Onion Bubs sits. There is cheering and screaming in the background. An order form for Bubs' Concession Stand comes down from the top of the screen. On it reads "CLiCK HERE TO E-MAiL BUBS".}
Easter Eggs
- Click on Onion Bubs to see this little scene about the Baloneyman series.
Easter Egg Transcript
{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand. Strong Bad and Bubs are there.}
STRONG BAD: Hey, Bubs, got any good movies?
BUBS: Well, I've got {looks under counter} The Baloneyman Cometh, Baloneyman II: The Great Sandwich Adventure, Baloneyman III: The Time of the Great Hunger, Baloneyman IV: Journey Through The Meats, Baloneyman V: The Mysterious Mayonnaise-
STRONG BAD: Uh, nevermin-
BUBS: Baloneyman VI: The Secret of Sausage Rock, {Strong Bad starts backing away.} Baloneyman VII: The Patty of Freezer Burn, {Strong Bad runs offscreen.} Baloneyman VIII: The Big Famine...
Fun Facts
- "Cell Despairon" is a reference to the Dell Inspiron line of computers.
- The scene with the Compy 386 is a reference to "virus".
- The Baloneyman series' many sequels is a reference to the Land Before Time series, with some of the titles being twisted versions of the Land Before Time titles.
- Bubs calls himself a "self-made man" on his character video.
