Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/Alive?
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
{Airstar clicks on the email icon on his Skypy.}
AIRSTAR:You know what I learned in school today? Nothing rhymes with email.
Dear Airstar,
Aren't you worried that Darknight may be alive?
Sincereley,
Badstar.
AIRSTAR:Of course not, Badstar. You knwo you seem to have a pattern going here. Remember when you told me Schoolstar was alive? And now you're tellin' me Darknight could be alive? Man. It's like you're an optomist and a pessimist. Well I don't think we should elaborate any further on the subject.'Kay?
{Cut to a big hole underneath the Eiffel Tower. You see a leg with a green sole come out of it. Then Darknight's entire body comes out of the hole. Her clothes are tattered and one of her eyes is shut. She has no hat on her head. She stands up.}
DARKNIGHT:He thinks i'll stop at near-death? I survived on worms and puddle water in that hole for a month and a half just to find the strength to get out of that hole.
{She falls down.}
DARKNIGHT:I may have loss some muscle mass in my legs.
{She gets up and starts walking. Cut to a french bar. Darknight's sitting at it with an eyepatch over his right eye. A guy that looks like Bubs except with a moustache and a striped shirt comes up to him as the bartender.}
FRENCH BUBS:Que aimez-vous?
{The subtitles day "What would you like?"}
DARKNIGHT:Un froid supplémentaire un, svp.
{"An extra cold one, please.}
FRENCH BUBS:You look like an American. I know english.
DARKNIGHT:Oh. Yeah, I'm American.
FRENCH BUBS:My name is Plombs.
DARKNIGHT:Hello, Plombs.
PLOMBS:Hey, what happened to you?
DARKNIGHT:I lived in a hole for a month and a half, you do the math.
PLOMBS:Well i'll get your drink.
{He leaves and comes back with an Xtra cold one, but on the bottle it says "Xtra le froid"}
DARKNIGHT:Thanks. Now I gotta figure out how to destroy Airstar. That calendar situation really made my lip go buh! Also I killed my father because of it. Probably not the best move. I remember that day.
{Cut to a living room. A man who looks like Darknight except with brown hair and glasses is reading the nespaper on the couch. Li'l Darknight comes in.}
LI'L DARKNIGHT:Daddy! Daddy!
{The father puts down the newspaper.}
DARKNGIHT'S DAD:What, what sweetie?
LI'L DARKNIGHT:Li'l Airstar the freak who lives in the blimp has the same calendar as me and refuses to take it down!
DARKNIGHT'S DAD:Darknight! It's just a calendar! You're a big girl, get over it!
{He continues reading the newspaper. Li'l Darknight goes into the kitchen and pulls a knife outta knife drawer.}
LI'L DARKNIGHT:Think it's just a calendar, eh? Well what if you were to have an unfortunate accident? Heh heh heh.
{Cut back to Darknight at the bar.}
DARKNIGHT:{Sigh.}
{Cut to Airstar and Strong Sad sitting at a booth in Marshmallow's Last Stand.}
AIRSTAR:Thanks for takin' me out for a pre-birthday lunch.
STRONG SAD:Well i'm flying to Chicago on your birthday, so I figured i'd do it early.
AIRSTAR:Nice touch makin' this restraunt on jetpacks.
{Cut to outside the restraunt, we see Marshmallow's last stand is floating several feet above the ground by the use of jetpacks. Cut back to them.}
STRONG SAD:It took me 17,000 and I almost died, but it was worth it.
AIRSTAR:Where'd you get 17,000 dollars?
STRONG SAD:I've pandered on the street for six years.
AIRSTAR:That was nice.
{Cut to a split screen. The right side shows Airstar and Strong Sad talking at the booth, and the left one shows Darknight sitting at a plane seat with a suitcase. The full screen goes to Darknight.}
DARKNIGHT:Heh heh heh. Finally I can destory Airstar with the use of this machine in my suitcase.
{The screen pans to the left to reveal Water Bad holding a big fishbowl with Aquacheat in it.}
WATER BAD:Surely you can't be serious.
DARKNIGHT:I am. And don't call me Shirley.
AQUACHEAT:Sorry for nearly killing you. I thought you were Sarah Silverman.
DARKNIGHTThanks for reminding me!
{He takes out a peice of paper. Close up shot of the paper. It reads "Kill Airstar-not check, Get money back from Leonard, (Big afroed security guard with hookhand) Mostlycheck, Darknight takes a pencil and writes "Kill Sarah Silverman". Cut to a black screen that says "The following morning" then cut to Strong Bad in the basement waking up from the couch. He hears a plane nearby.}
STRONG BAD:Wrecking crew...wah? That's a loud noise! It must be one of those crappy planes from France.
{Strong Bad walks outta the room. Cut to Him in the feild looking at the plane landing somewhere behind the bushes.}
STRONG BAD:What the?
{The plane read "Lignes aériennes Françaises"}
STRONG BAD:Wait a minute...a French airplane landing in this state? That's weird. It must some DARKNIGHT! HE'S ALIVE!! Why would a french airplane land in America?! They hate us!!! AHHHH!!! WE'RE SNOWED IN AGAIN!
{Cut to Airstar and Strong Sad at the booth. They're looking at the camera.}
AIRSTAR:A French airplane? Oh no, Badstar must be right! IT'S DARKNIGHT!
{Another French plane lands at the airport. Cut to that one Darknight and Water Bad get off that one.}
DARKNIGHT:Heh heh. He thinks we're in that other plane. Idiots.
{Cut to Airstar hiding under his desk sucking on his thumb foot. Schoolstar comes in.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Ill take care of him Airstar! Remember how I can beat him up! I'm gonna mess him up!
AIRSTAR:{Stops sucking foot.} You're right! How did I forget?
SCHOOLSTAR:The pills you took from when you had a broken ankle must've made you forget stuff.
AIRSTAR:You're right. But really beat him up! I mean I can't be dead! My birfday is on November 7th!
SCHOOLSTAR:I know, I know. We'll assemble an army of men with no fright to shatter the kneecaps of blight.
{Cut to Schoolstar talking to all the main characters.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Alright Squadron. You and me must-
MARZIPAN:It's you and I.
SCHOOLSTAR:{Rolls his eyes.} Okay, anyway, you and I must pull of her head, puke down her neck, take out her lungs, beat her head with her lungs, and shove it down her neck, to which I previously alluded.
STRONG BAD:Okay!
{He grabs Homestar's head.}
SCHOOLSTAR:No not her!
STRONG BAD:Ohh...{He takes his hands off of him.}
HOMESTAR:Wait, her?
SCHOOLSTARThe enemy is Darknight Creeper. She has ruined Airstar's life on more than one occasion. She just arrived from France, so we have to say Bonjour to her life! Any conciencious objectors?
MARZIPAN:I don't like violence!
SCHOOLSTAR:Fine your out!
{Mrazipan leaves.}
STRONG SAD:I'd get pummeled!
SCHOOLSTAR:I know how you feel, man. OUT!
{He leaves.}
KOT:My hip hurts!
SCHOOLSTAR:Out!
{He leaves.}
HOMSAR:AaAAaAaAh! Pirate wolves would make me eat Australia!
SCHOOLSTAR:Not a valid excuse! You're still in! But I do hate pirate wolves. Now let's get this Son of a pirate wolf!
{Cut to Darknight and Water Bad in an inside pool, letting Aquacheat swim around. Darknight is wearing a bikini, and Water Bad is looking away from her.}
WATER BAD:You're too much of a tomboy to be wearing that.
DARKNIGHT:Fine.
{She goes underwater and comes back up with a one peice on.}
WATER BAD:How'd you do that?
DARKNIGHT:Magic!
{Criss Angel comes from underwater.}
CRISS ANGEL:With the help of me. I'm a magician!
{He starts levitating. He levitates away from the pool. There's a window in the background with Schoolstar in it. He's talking on a walkie talkie.}
DARKNIGHT:Hey look what I found! {She takes out a walkie talkie.} I found it on the ground, near the pool. Let's turn it on.
{She turns it on.}
SCHOOLSTAR'S VOICE ON THE WALKIE TALKIE:Strong Bad? You didn't forget the walkie talkie on the ground did ya? That silence gives me all I need to know.
{Darknight and Water Bad start chuckling.}
SCHOOLSTAR'S VOICE:Now in five minutes we're gonna jump out and kill Darknight okay?
{They stop laughing and look behind them. They see Schoolstar in the window.}
SCHOOLSTAR'S VOICE:Uh-oh. ATTACK NOW!
{The following is done at the same time: Strong Bad jumps out of a nearby window into the pool, Strong Mad and The Cheat come up from under the pool, Homestar jumps outta of a trashcan into the pool, Coach Z swings on a rope from a window into the pool, Schoolstar jumps out the window into the pool, Bubs rides an old timey bicyle into the pool, Homsar rides a wolf with an eyepatch into the pool, The Poopsmith rides a surfboard into the pool and Pom-Pom rides a boat into the pool.}
DARKNIGHT AND WATER BAD:AHHHH!!!
{They all attack Darknight and Waterbad and Aquacheat. And they go into a cartoon dustball of figthing. The ball rolls around the pool area. Cut to Airstar's computer room. Darknight is hanging from the ceiling by her feet, she has tattered clothes and multiple wolf and Homestar bites. All the Homestar characters and Airstar,Schoolstar, The Chuck and the pirate wolf are in there dripping wet, except for Airstar.}
AIRSTAR:So what did you plan to do before you got bombarded by my minions?
DARKNIGHT:I just wanted to come home from France!
AIRSTAR:Don't make me waterboard you!
DARKNNIGHT:OKAY OKAY! The truth is...
{Cut to a screen that says "TO BE CONTINUED! IT IS. AND DON'T CALL ME TOBEY." The paper comes down.}
