Homestar Runner's Trading Card Game/games/9

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Contents 1 Playing Statistics 1.1 Players 1.2 Board Type 1.3 Rewards 2 The Game 2.1 Players 2.2 Turn 8 2.3 Turn 7 2.4 Turn 6 2.5 Turn 5 2.6 Turn 4 2.7 Turn 3 2.7.1 Wrestling Time 2.8 Turn 2 2.9 Turn 1 2.10 Setup Process

Playing Statistics

Players

• Shadow Scythe (Deck: Fluffy)
• Shim-Sham-Sam (Deck: Macrominis)
• Homsar R. (Deck: Beyond the Beyond)

Board Type

• 7-Row Double Triangle
• 11 turns
• 7 day time limit

Rewards

• First Place: "Grabbo Arm" item card, 25 credits
• Second Place: 20 credits
• Third Place: 10 credits

The Game

Players

Shadow Scythe

Cards in deck: 1 (1 card neutralized)

Cards in hand: 2 — The Cheat (Strange, wildcard)

Cards on field: 1 — Nibbles (Moron, 3/4/3) — The Golbin (Silent, [3/1/6])

Total Points: 4

Shim-Sham-Sam

Cards in deck: 3 (1 card neutralized)

Cards in hand: 1 — Homestar Jr. (Item, +1/0/0)

Cards on field: 2 — Cheatball (Lame, 6/1/3) — PBTC The Cheat (Cool, [4/4/2])

Total Points: 1

Homsar R.

Cards in deck: 3

Cards in hand: 0

Cards on field: 1 — The Poopsmith (Silent, 5/3/2)

Total Points: 0

Turn 8

SHADOW SCYTHE: Another point for the both of us. I'll move the goblin. {rolls a 2} Gah. Here I goes! {sproink} Now your turn.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: It'd be nice if I can have the Cheatball just attack at the Goblin below it... but such defensive maneuvers are dreams of fools, right? I'll just roll for PBTC... second place time!

SHADOW SCYTHE: One rolled! Move time!

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: All of my cards need diets... or something... And shields... Meh...

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: {with a 5 o'clock shadow} Say, there isn't, by any chance, a forfeit function here, right? You know, if you're sure you know what's going to be the outcome, and since the game's only between us two, and I'm sure you want to play other games...

SHADOW SCYTHE: I suppose you can. You'll take second place and get 20 credits. Homsar R. gets 10. I get 25 and the Grabbo Arm. Sound good?

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Berry good? Good.

SHADOW SCYTHE: Fanstatic. And so concludes this round of HRTCG! Pshwoo.... Go claim your rewards, why don'tcha?

Turn 7

SHADOW SCYTHE: A point for Shimmy and a point for me... Now let's move that goblin.

{The goblin rolls a one}

SHADOW SCYTHE: ...oh, the irony. Whatever, I'm still in first. Go ahead!

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Wish you didn't murder my The Cheat/You'll never know what I've just been through (since I won't tell you)! Anyway, I'd like-a to draw.

SHADOW SCYTHE: {flips through history} Wait, where was The Cheat killed off?

THESTICK: {shouting from audience} He thinks because you both have The Cheats in your decks, they're both neutralixzed.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Isn't it just mine, since you have a The Cheat in your hand, and mine wasn't even drawn? Anyway, the point is, The Cheat is dead (contrasting with Strong Bad...). So I said I'd like-a to draw.

SHADOW SCYTHE: Pom pom for you. Place 'im?

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Pom Pom, eh? Well... uh... you see... even though this might be like killing myself... I bought the Pom Pom card after this game has started... >_> So...

SHADOW SCYTHE: ...oh. Whoops. Uh, instead, you draw PBTC The Cheat. Honesty is the best policy!

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: {plonk}

Turn 6

SHADOW SCYTHE: And awaaaaay we go! {roll} Two. {hop hop} Go, Shimmy.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Okay... I can move Cheatball to the throne... but the Goblin's after me... I can place a new card... but the Goblin's after the throne... Time to rely on dumb luck! Roll for Cheatball!

SAHDOW SCYTHE: Is a two. Move-ulate!

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Move-ulated! Now to pray...

Turn 5

SHADOW SCYTHE: Alright, once again. I will place down my favorite goblin, The Goblin! {pause} Er... I'm a little rusty on the rules. Can I roll for him now?

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: And you made the game... just like how writers forget their own emails... Anyway, I think you can't move the Goblin. If that's allowed, that would've been nice... for the player, that is.

SHADOW SCYTHE: {checks rules topic} Yeah, you're right. In that case, do a dance, Shimster. I mean, take your turn.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: I've got six turns to make a difference. In other words, I have about four turns to do something un-Cheatball-related. I'll move Cheatball.

SHADOW SCYTHE: YA ROLL A TOO YA MORICE.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: I ought to have my ears checked. I could've sworn I heard Markie. Anyway, moving him up.

SHADOW SCYTHE: You know, Homsar isn't comin' back. Should we just skip the wait?

JOSHUA: You the master around here. {shifty eyes!}

SHADOW SCYTHE: That's long enough.

{Homsar R.: DISQUALIFIED}

Turn 4

SHADOW SCYTHE: Mah turn. {Rolls a 2} Ooh, I'm up at teh throne now! And, at last it's your turn, Shimmy. Oh, and the time limit will now be 1 week. {ding}

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: I've been waiting for this moment. When I can make some more progress (how'd Nibbles practically fly up to the throne that fast?). I'lla roll for Cheatball.

SHADOW SCYTHE: Ye roll a one.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Again?!? Is that... real? Whatever... movin, movin, movin... Now for the waitin, waitin, waitin...

JOSHUA: It is terribly convenient, isn't it Shadow Scythe? <_< >_> What randomizer are you using anyway?

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: It's probably just luck. He did roll himself a one in turn 1. But I'd like Joshua's question to be answered, just for curiosity's sake.

SHADOW SCYTHE: I've been using random.org.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: So this means Homsar gave up this turn?

THESTICK: {shouting from audience} Is the time limit one month? If so, yes, because his last edit was on May 1st.

JOSHUA: {hops out of TheStick} Yeah, he skips his turn. Skips two more and he's out. In the meantime, it's Shadow's move again.

Turn 3

SHADOW SCYTHE: And now I move! {rolls a three} Blunderful. Time to attack the Poopsmith! {Ker-plow}

Wrestling Time

versus

Moron has an elemental advantage over Silent. Shadow Scythe chooses +2 defence.

Nibbles has a higher speed stat. Therefore, he attacks first.

• Nibbles attacks The Poopsmith!
  • 3 = 3
  • The Poopsmith's defence is critical!
  • The Poopsmith's defence is lowered to 2.
• The Poopsmith attacks Nibbles!
  • 5 < 6
  • Nibbles's defence is lowered to 5.
• Nibbles attacks The Poopsmith!
  • 3 > 2
  • The Poopsmith is defeated!

SHADOW SCYTHE: Alright, PWN salad! {advances an extra space} Move down, Homsarman.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Um... not to be rude... but it's been how many months to go to the beginning of turn 3? What, are we trying to beat Round 2 in terms of longevity? Think we should use this time limit I heard of?

THESTICK: {shouting from the audience} Actually, it's only been one half of a month since the beginning of turn 3.

SHADOW SCYTHE: Gah... maybe I should make this in flash. As hard as it would be to make, I wouldn't have to update it so much. Now, what time limit are you talking about?

THESTICK: {still shouting from audience} I'm just saying that it was exactly 20 days. Probally a few days. Yeah, flash is hard, and will be hard to program. I don't know anything about how to make things in flash.

SHADOW SCYTHE: We'll see.... So, how long's the time limit supposed to be?

THESTICK: Changes from game to game. Depends on how responsive the players are.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Think a time limit's necessary?

THESTICK: {shouting from audience} I think for this game, yes. Not every game. This game and game 2 are in need for time limits.

SHADOW SCYTHE: You know, I think that we've waited far too long. Next round it is! {Plops down the poopsmith}

Turn 2

SHADOW SCYTHE: My turn. I'll move Nibbles. {Rolls a one} Crap again. {Moves him up-left} Okay, Shimmy. Go.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Yeah, I should actually move now. Moving Cheatball.

SHADOW SCYTHE: A one. Move'n'stuff!

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: {wakes up} Rightey-o! {hacks and coughs}

SHADOW SCYTHE: Homsar! Use squeaky! I mean, uh, it's, uh, your turn.

{Shadow Scythe taps his foot.}

HOMSAR R.: I'll move em' Daver! I've been really inactive, sorry.

SHADOW SCYTHE: You rolls a two. Move P-L-Z.

HOMSAR R.: I'll move up diagnolly.

SHADOW SCYTHE: You can move your card yourself, you know. <_< Whatever. NEXT TUUURN.

Turn 1

BULBAN: Your go, Shadiman. Do your stuff!

SHADOW SCYTHE: I'll roll for Nibbly!

{Nibbles rolls a 1}

SHADOW SCYTHE: Aw, cuh-rap. {Plop 'im up.}

NYJOLE: Thy turn, Sham.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: {cracking noises are heard as he gets up} I'll draw.

{One month and 12 days later...}

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Uh, I said I'll draw? {voice echoes}

JOSHUA: {pops out of echo} Ye draw a Homestar Junior. Yeah, you're just a luck magnet.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Maybe it can serve me nicely this time... in the future, that is. That's all.

BULBAN: Wah! I didn't realize it was my turn to do stuff.

SHADOW SCYTHE: Nyjole, Bulban, you're both fired. I'll do the narratey stuff from now on. Anyways, your turn, Homsar. Go ahead!

HOMSAR R.: Movin' on up!

SHADOW SCYTHE: Ye roll a two. Go ahead.

HOMSAR R.: Move yon up alongitht the outith wall.

SHADOW SCYTHE: You can always move your own cards, you know... End turn 1.

Setup Process

NYJOLE: Welcome to the ninth ever round of Homestar Runner's Trading Card Game!

BULBAN: Hey, would you mind clearing us up about this multi-king space thing you have going on?

NYJOLE: Okay. You see, since there are two king spaces, there is a potential of two points to be earned per turn. For example, two different players could have one of their cards be the king of the hill.

BULBAN: Sounds pretty dangerous.

NYJOLE: Uh, sure. Also, if you're doing well, I bet one of you guys'll be able to control both king spaces! So, good luck with that.

BULBAN: Now it's time to draw cards. Please wait a moment!

• Shadow Scythe draws a The Cheat card. (Wildcard)
• Homsar R. draws a Poopsmith card. (Speed: 2)
• Shim-Sham-Sam draws a Cheatball card. (Speed: 3)

NYJOLE: O DER. It's a wildcard! Shadow Scythe better draw again.

• Shadow Scythe draws a The Goblin card. (Wildcard)

BULBAN: Another wildcard, another redraw.

• Shadow Scythe draws a Nibbles card. (Speed: 3)

NYJOLE: Oh, crap. Now Shim-Sham-Sam and Shadow Scythe have the same speed stats! It's a cornacopia of redraws.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Isn't this the part with the coin toss?

NYJOLE: Coin flip? How mysterious! In earliest games we made both players redraw.

BULBAN: Flipping coin... Coin has been flipped! Shammy, pick whether you want heads or tails.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: My big mouth? I mean tails.

NYJOLE: Sorry, you lose. I said Sid Frenchman. I mean, heads.

SHADOW SCYTHE: Yaaay.

BULBAN: Place your card.

SHADOW SCYTHE: Okay.

{Shadow Scythe places nibbles in da middles.}

NYJOLE: Your turn, Shimmy Shammy.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Reminds me of something... anyway... plink!

BULBAN: Now it's your turn, Homsar guy. Place your card and stuff!

HOMSAR R.: Far left Jlammy!

NYJOLE: Okay, cool. We should be able to start now! Turn one... COMMENSE!