Homestar Runner's Trading Card Game/games/5

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Contents

Playing Statistics

Homestar Jr. for the winner

Players

Board Type

Six row Triangle — 10 turns

Rewards


The Game

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Players

TotalSpaceshipGuy3

Cards in deck: 2
Cards in hand: 0
Cards on field: 3 — Señor (Strange, 2/4/4); Storybook Strong Sad (Silent, 3/5/2); Tiny-Handed Strong Bad (Cool, 5/4/1)
Total Points: 0

Shim-Sham-Sam

Cards in deck: 1
Cards in hand: 1 — PBTC The Cheat (Cool, 4/4/2)
Cards on field: 3 — Gunhaver (Cool, 4/3/3); Cheatball (Lame, 6/1/3); The Cheat (Strange, wildcard [6/1/3])
Total Points: 9

Shadow Scythe

Cards in deck: 0 (2 cards neutralized)
Cards in hand: 0
Cards on field: 3 — Nibbles (Moron, 3/4/3), The Goblin (Silent, wildcard [2/6/2]), Sterrance (Silent, 2/5/3)
Total Points: 9

Post-Game

JOSHUA: Well, the actual game has ended, but we aren't done yet. You can take your ten credits, TotalSpaceshipGuy3. But as for you Shim-Sham-Sam and Shadow Scythe, you have to break the tie for first place. You each must privately send me a normal character card to duke it out.

JOSHUA: I've already retrieved Shim-Sham-Sam's choice. Now we're just waiting for you, Shadow Scythe.

{Shadow Scythe whispers something into Joshua's brain.}

JOSHUA: Alright, we're... almost ready! But Shim-Sham-Sam, your card has an elemental advantage over Shadow Scythe's. Please pick +2 attack, defense or speed.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: I'll choose +2... {unnecessary drumroll (so the drummer is kicked off stage)} SPEED!

Wrestling Time

versus

Cool has an elemental advantage over Lame. Shim-Sham-Sam chooses +2 speed.

PBTC The Cheat has a higher speed stat. Therefore, he attacks first.

  • PBTC The Cheat attacks Cheatball!
    • 4 > 1
    • Cheatball is defeated!

JOSHUA: And Shim-Sham-Sam wins first prize! Congratulations guys, and may you never get the black lung.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Good game, guys!

Turn 10

JOSHUA: Final turn for each of you! Will anything interesting happen? Make your move, TotalSpaceshipGuy3.

TOTALSPACESHIPGUY3: {long pause} Nope! {Skips turn}

JOSHUA: Alllrighty then. Go Shim-Sham-Sam. The only way for you to possibly win would be to take the throne right now.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: I must've miscalculated! I'll roll to move my smart Cheatball!

JOSHUA: You roll a three.

JOSHUA: ...and since I know it's what you're gonna do, I've move you up to engage Tiny-Handed Strong Bad.

Wrestling Time

versus

No elemental advantages.

Cheatball has a higher speed stat. Therefore, he attacks first.

  • Cheatball attacks Tiny-Handed Strong Bad!
    • 6 > 4
    • Tiny-Handed Strong Bad is defeated!

JOSHUA: Okay. Cheatball's item is knocked off back into Shim-Sham-Sam's deck, and then Cheatball moves up to attack The Goblin. But before that happens, please put Tiny-Handed Strong Bad down a space, TotalSpaceshipGuy3.

TOTALSPACESHIPGUY3: Very well!

JOSHUA: And now for more fighting!

Wrestling Time

versus

No elemental advantages.

They have equal speed stats, but Cheatball initiated the fight. Therefore, he attacks first.

  • Cheatball attacks The Goblin!
    • 6 > 1
    • The Goblin is defeated!

JOSHUA: Alright Shadow Scythe, move The Goblin down three spaces, upon which his stats will get reshuffled.

SHADOW SCYTHE: Ping, ding, dong.

JOSHUA: And the Goblin's new stats are 2 attack, 6 defense, and 2 speed. Now make your last move, Shadow Scythe.

SHADOW SCYTHE: Nothing I do will affect the outcome, so I will do nothing.

JOSHUA: And the game ends in a tie!

Turn 9

JOSHUA: The games almost over. Any plans on getting at least one point before it ends, TotalSpaceshipGuy?

TOTALSPACESHIPGUY3: Uhh... Nope. Any move I make this turn will be useless. Considering most of my cards are to weak, the only card strong enough... Meh, why not? I move THSB up.

JOSHUA: Okay... unknowingly sealing the fate of this game. Err, I mean, uh, peow! {jumps away}

JOSHUA: {pokes back in} Oh, and Shim-Sham-Sam, your move.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Okay, seeing that my cards are too slow/Cheatball is unfit to fight against THSB, I'll just draw a Lab Coat and equip Cheatball with it.

JOSHUA: Alright. Shadow Scythe, your move.

SHADOW SCYTHE: I'll play a card. And since the only possible card I can draw is Sterrance, and the only spot I can possibly play it on is the far left... {Places Sterrance}

Turn 8

JOSHUA: Alright, shippy. Shippy, Shimmy, and Scythy. Yay! Err, anyway, yeah. Move.

TOTALSPACESHIPGUY3: Arble, my ace-in-the-hole is now in danger. I move him in for the battle anywarble. {Does so}

Wrestling Time

versus

No elemental advantages.

Nibbles has a higher speed stat. Therefore, he attacks first.

  • Nibbles attacks Tiny-Handed Strong Bad!
    • 3 < 4
    • Tiny-Handed Strong Bad's defence is lowered to 3.
  • Tiny-Handed Strong Bad attacks Nibbles!
    • 5 > 4
    • Nibbles is defeated!

TOTALSPACESHIPGUY3: Hurray! Self-esteem! Move 'im down.

JOSHUA: Nibbles goes down three spaces, Shadow Scythe. And after that's down, TotalSpaceshipGuy3 is going to wrestle Cheatball whether he wants to or not.

TOTALSPACESHIPGUY3: Arble.

Wrestling Time

versus

No elemental advantages.

Cheatball has a higher speed stat. Therefore, he attacks first.

  • Cheatball attacks Tiny-Handed Strong Bad!
    • 6 > 4
    • Tiny-Handed Strong Bad is defeated!

TOTALSPACESHIPGUY3: WARBLE!!! {moves SB down)

JOSHUA: So even though Cheatball wins, the wrestle knocks his item back down into Shim-Sham-Sam's deck. Your turn, SSS.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: I'll draw my Lab Coat and put it back on Cheatball. And since it's pretty automatic, I'll do the honors of equipping the item to Cheatball myself.

JOSHUA: What fun. Shadow Scythe, go.

SHADOW SCYTHE: I'll move everyone's favorite goblin! {Rolls a 2} Perfect. time to take down Strong-o Bad-o!

Wrestling Time

versus

No elemental advantages.

The Goblin has a higher speed stat. Therefore, he attacks first.

  • The Goblin attacks Tiny Handed Strong Bad!
    • 6 > 4
    • Tiny Handed Strong Bad is defeated!

SHADOW SCYTHE: Sweet! I'll move my guy up.

JOSHUA: Put Strong Bad down a space, TotalSpaceshipGuy.

JOSHUA: And now The Goblin fights for the throne.

Wrestling Time

versus

No elemental advantages.

They have equal speed stats, but The Goblin initiated the fight. Therefore, he attacks first.

  • The Goblin attacks Cheatball!
    • 6 > 1
    • Cheatball is defeated!

JOSHUA: Alright Shadow Scythe, you now have the throne and will start earning points. As for you Shim-Sham-Sam, you have to move Cheatball down three spaces. Cheatball's item card will also fall off and back into your deck.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: I need a time machine...

Turn 7

JOSHUA: Go TSSG3.

TOTALSPACESHIPGUY3: Continute rise to the top, Sbe! {Moves him left}

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Finally. First, let me kick myself for all of my complaints in this game. {kicks self a number of times} Now, I'll draw.

JOSHUA: You don't need me to tell you you draw the Lab Coat, as that's the last card you have in your deck. Do you want to place it on any card (friendly or otherwise) on the field? Or would you rather put down PBTC The Cheat instead? Or do you want to leave both cards in your hand for later?

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: I'll place the Lab Coat on Cheatball. Now he can rule with his knowledge of the Pythagorean Theorem!

JOSHUA: And now the Cheatball will look all smart until you decide to take it off and put it back into your hand, or if it is knocked back into your deck by a wrestle (win or lose). And now Shadow Scythe, it's your turn.

SHADOW SCYTHE: I'll move goblinny. {Rolls a 1} Rrgh... evil 1. Oh well. Let's challenge gunhavvy!

Wrestling Time

File:The Goblin Card.png versus

No elemental advantages.

They have equal speed stats, but The Goblin initiated the fight. Therefore, he attacks first.

  • The Goblin attacks Gunhaver!
    • 6 > 3
    • Gunhaver is defeated!

SHADOW SCYTHE: Haw-ray! {Plops up the Goblin}

JOSHUA: And Gunhaver falls down one space leftwards, as that's all he can do. This turn is done.

Turn 6

JOSHUA: Turn six already? Dang, we're halfway done. Alright TotalSpaceshipGuy, what're gonna do?

TOTALSPACESHIPGUY3: Jeez, I just realized it's not my luck that sucks, it's my deck. I'll move SB left. {Does so}

JOSHUA: Technically, that's right. But anyway, it's back to you, Shimmy. Maybe we'll get something other than a complaint this time.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Can I roll to move Cheatball? You know, for the whole "how far down Nibbles should go" factor?

JOSHUA: When a card is only one step away from a wrestle, you don't even have to roll. You have Cheatball engage Nibbles for the throne!

Wrestling Time

versus

No elemental advantages.

They have equal speed stats, but Cheatball initiated the fight. Therefore, he attacks first.

  • Cheatball attacks Nibbles!
    • 6 > 4
    • Nibbles is defeated!

JOSHUA: Okay, Cheatball gains the throne and starts earning points. You'll get one point for every turn that passes with you in the throne. Shadow Scythe, move Nibbles down.

SHADOW SCYTHE: {Plops 'im down}

JOSHUA: And now... make your move.

SHADOW SCYTHE: Move nibbles! {Rolls} A one?! Aww, peas. Let's battle Gunhaver!

Wrestling Time

versus

No elemental advantages.

They have equal speed stats, but Nibbles initiated the fight. Therefore, he attacks first.

  • Nibbles attacks Gunhaver!
    • 3 = 3
    • Gunhaver's defence is critical!
    • Gunhaver's defence is lowered to 2.
  • Gunhaver attacks Nibbles!
    • 4 = 4
    • Nibbles's defence is critical!
    • Nibbles's defence is lowered to 3.
  • Nibbles attacks Gunhaver!
    • 3 > 2
    • Gunhaver is defeated!

SHADOW SCYTHE: Sweet! {Move 'em up}

JOSHUA: Okay Shim-Sham-Sam, move Gunhaver down three, er... two spaces, since he'll get stuck in the second bottom row.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Meh. It turns out that Gunhaver's not the guy I made people idolize him to me. That's okay...

Turn 5

JOSHUA: It's back to you, TotalSpaceshipGuy.

TOTALSPACESHIPGUY3: I will begin Strong Bad's slow accend! {Moves Strong Bad left}

JOSHUA: Alright. Shim-Sham-Sam, it's your turn.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: I'll move Gunhaver... not. I'll move Cheatball.

JOSHUA: He rolls a three.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Lady luck really loves to mock me. It's almost as if this rand... never mind. I'll move and complain about my being inevitably placed in third place.

JOSHUA: Dude, that was the highest that card could possibly roll. See its movement points?

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Oh, in that case, allow me to reconsult the manual, which I may have misread, again (that explains everything).

TOTALSPACESHIPGUY3: Dude, you think YOU'RE in third? Consult the game progress, the battles, and the point values. Yeah. I'd say you're in second.

SHADOW SCYTHE: I guess it's my turn now? I'll play down the Goblin.

NYJOLE: Randomizing stats... 6/1/3.

SHADOW SCYTHE: I'll place it second from the left.

Turn 4

JOSHUA: Your move, TSSG.

TOTALSPACESHIPGUY3: Ugh. I wish I got better cards. I'll draw, I s'pose. {Mumbling} Stupid idiots picking on Strong Sad, won't cut me a break... Just wanna win one game without being humiliated... Mumble, grumble....

JOSHUA: You're hardly losing. But unfortunately I don't have very good news for you... you draw Tiny-Handed Strong Bad.

TOTALSPACESHIPGUY3: I'll place him in the only spot. {Bloop}

JOSHUA: Go, go, Shim-Sham-Sam!

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Um... I'll move Cheatball? Say, is it possible for me to roll a 5, move Cheatball, and move another character by four?

JOSHUA: Nope. Hitting a dead-end or initiating a wrestle will sap all your remaining movement points. But you don't have to roll the die when something is just one space away.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Based on Shadow's last move, I'll make some preparations... Lady Luck, please bless me... I'll roll to move GUNHAVER!

JOSHUA: Three spaces, yo.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Just one short... Oh well, I guess I can prepare anyhow.

JOSHUA: And now it's your turn Shadow Scythe.

SHADOW SCYTHE: Arlight! [sic] Let's move Nibbles once again! {Rolls a 3} Cool, cool. Let's battle Cheatball, that little traitor.

Wrestling Time

versus

No elemental advantages.

They have equal speed stats, but Nibbles initiated the fight. Therefore, he attacks first.

  • Nibbles attacks Cheatball!
    • 3 > 1
    • Cheatball is defeated!

SHADOW SCYTHE: Yay a throne! {Moves up to the throne} It looks like Cheatball gotta move down some spaces.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: I find this very typical as the four seasons of the year. I KNEW this would happen! How bad is it, Josh? Three spaces?

JOSHUA: Don't take it so hard, man. Losing wrestles happens all the time. And yes, three spaces down, one for each movement point. And he can't pass through Gunhaver.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: I guess I'll move him with strategy, or at least, whatever. There.

Turn 3

JOSHUA: Alright, time to get some cards of that bottom row. TotalSpaceshipGuy, you're up.

NYJOLE: {Peeks in} You can draw or move a guy. {Leaves}

TOTALSPACESHIPGUY3: I'll try Strong Sad again.

NYJOLE: You roll a 1. Hmm... this randomizer seems to be particular to 1. Anyways, move yer dude.

{He moves up-left.}

JOSHUA: And now it's your turn, Scythebert.

SHADOW SCYTHE: Let's move Nibbles, let's move!

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Hey! Isn't it supposed to be my turn?

SHADOW SCYTHE: {Quietly} Dangit.

JOSHUA: Go ahead and move Sham-birt. Sorry for the mixingupitude.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Right. I'ma going to move C, which is for Cheatball (not to be confused with The Cheat, TC)!

JOSHUA: Three spaces, yo.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Three spaces? That means I can move to a challenge! I'll move to the spot with Nibbles!

JOSHUA: Okay, here they go. Pick an elemental advantage, Shim-Sham-Sam.

Wrestling Time

versus

'No elemental advantages.

They have the same speed stat, but Cheatball initiated the fight. Therefore, he attacks first.

  • Cheatball attacks Nibbles!
    • 6 > 4
    • Nibbles is defeated!

JOSHUA: And Cheatball moves up real close to the throne. Shadow Scythe, move Nibbles down to the bottom and then make your actual move.

SHADOW SCYTHE: Let's blast him downwards, righty-righty-lefty-doo. Now for my turn... I'ma move Nibbles again. {Rolls a 1} Arble, hmm! Time to battle a Storybook Strong Sad.

Wrestling Time

versus

Moron has an elemental advantage over Silent. Shadow Scythe chooses +2 attack.

Nibbles has a higher speed stat. Therefore, he attacks first.

  • Nibbles attacks Storybook Strong Sad!
    • 5 = 5
    • Storybook Strong Sad's defence is critical!
    • Storybook Strong Sad's defence is lowered to 4.
  • Storybook Strong Sad attacks Nibbles!
    • 3 < 4
    • Nibbles's defence is lowered to 3.
  • Nibbles attacks Storybook Strong Sad!
    • 5 > 4
    • Storybook Strong Sad is defeated!

SHADOW SCYTHE: Hash-hawray! That means I go up, and Saddy goes down.

JOSHUA: And Strong Sad falls one space down-right, as that's the only place he can. This turn is over.

Turn 2

JOSHUA: Your move, TotalSpaceshipGuy.

TOTALSPACESHIPGUY3: I'ma move S.S.! For STRONG SAD! {Laughs uncontrollably}

SHADOW SCYTHE: {Slaps TotalSpaceshipGuy multiple times} Pull! Yourself! Together!

JOSHUA: What he rolls doesn't matter, he's going to attack Nibbles. Get a wrestling! Shadow Scythe, your card has an elemental advantage, so choose what stat you want to add two to.

Wrestling Time

versus

Moron has an elemental advantage over Silent. Shadow Scythe chooses +2 attack.

Nibbles has a higher speed stat. Therefore, he attacks first.

  • Nibbles attacks Storybook Strong Sad!
    • 5 = 5
    • Storybook Strong Sad's defense is critical!
    • Storybook Strong Sad's defense is lowered to 4.
  • Storybook Strong Sad attacks Nibbles!
    • 3 < 4
    • Nibbles' defense is lowered to 3.
  • Nibbles attacks Storybook Strong Sad!
    • 5 > 4
    • Storybook Strong Sad is defeated!

JOSHUA: And so Nibbles goes up one space. TotalSpaceshipGuy, which bottom space do you want Strong Sad to fall down to?

TOTALSPACESHIPGUY3: Second to the right.

JOSHUA: Okay. Shim-Sham-Sam, do you want to draw, move, or what?

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Grr... this isn't great... I'll draw.

JOSHUA: You draw your last character card, Powered by The Cheat The Cheat. Do you want to place him (or regular The Cheat) down, or keep him in your hand?

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: I see... not the card I was expecting... in that case, I'll place The Cheat on the field... far right.

JOSHUA: He has... 6 attack, 1 defense and 3 movement. Go Shadow Scythe.

SHADOW SCYTHE: I'll move Nibbles. {Rolls a 1 again} Bah... Upleft, I guess.

Turn 1

JOSHUA: TotalSpaceshipGuy, open this game with a move or a draw?

TOTALSPACESHIPGUY3: I'm not liking Senor, I'd better draw.

JOSHUA: You pull out Storybook Strong Sad. Do you want to place him down or keep him for later?

TOTALSPACESHIPGUY3: Place to the far right.

JOSHUA: Done and done. So Shim-Sham-Sam: Move Gunhaver, place The Cheat, or draw a new card?

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Hmm... seeing that The Cheat won't do much for now... I'll draw!

JOSHUA: Cheatball! Okay, do you want to place one of the cards in your hand down or keep them both for later?

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: After much decision-making, clicking, and more clicking, I'll place Cheatball between Gunhaver and Señor.

JOSHUA: Alrighty. Shadow Scythe, your call.

SHADOW SCYTHE: I'ma move my Nibbles. {Rolls a 1} Dag, yo. I'll go up-right.

Setup Process

JOSHUA: Waiting for players...

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: Thanks for letting us know that sign-ups were closed... and thanks for the punt!

JOSHUA: Okay guys, let the round begin. Everyone draws one card.

  • Shim-Sham-Sam draws a The Cheat card. (Wildcard)
  • Shadow Scythe draws a The Goblin card. (Wildcard)
  • TotalSpaceshipGuy3 draws a Señor card. (Speed: 4)

JOSHUA: Okay, and since you two drew wildcards... you have to draw another card.

  • Shim-Sham-Sam draws a Gunhaver card. (Speed: 3)
  • Shadow Scythe draws a The Cheat card. (Wildcard)

JOSHUA: Uh oh. Sorry, Shadow Scythe, but a The Cheat card is already in play. Yours burns and dies, and is no longer in this game.

{Shadow Scythe's The Cheat card explodes violently.}

  • Shadow Scythe draws a Nibbles card. (Speed: 3)

JOSHUA: And finally, the drawing is done. TotalSpaceshipGuy3 will move first, while... {flips coin} Shim-Sham-Sam moves second and Shadow Scythe third. Okay TSSG3, place Señor somewhere.

TOTALSPACESHIPGUY3: Señor goes in the very middle.

JOSHUA: Alright. Now Shim-Sham-Sam, choose a spot to put Gunhaver down. Not The Cheat, but Gunhaver.

SHIM-SHAM-SAM: I wish for Gunhaver to be on the left... except you guys never made his card... nor my PTBC The Cheat card. {sadly} My poor, red-linked deck...

JOSHUA: When there's no image, you just use the name. Anyway, it's your turn Shadow Scythe. You know what to do.

SHADOW SCYTHE: I'll, uh... put my card tightly right to the right of Se~nor, or however you spell that.

JOSHUA: &ntilde;. And that's that.

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