Happy Malloween

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This is an idea of mine for a Halloween toon. Marshie is on the loose, like never before!

Cast: (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Pom Pom, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, The Cheat, Marshie, Cardboard Marzipan, Strong Sad, Coach Z, Bubs, The King of Town, The Poopsmith, Homsar (Easter egg), Marzipan, The Goblin, Cardboard Homestar (Easter egg)

See Happy Malloween Costumes for more information on what everyone was wearing.

Places: The Field, The Stick, Marzipan's House, Bubs' Concession Stand, Inside Marshie

Date: Does it really matter?

Page Title: What do you think of marshmallows now?!?

Contents

Transcript

{The toon starts. It's nighttime and Homestar and Pom Pom are walking along in their respective costumes. Homestar is holding a trick-or-treat bag, Pom Pom a pumpkin-shaped bucket.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, Pom Pom, ol' buddy, looks like we're off on another adventure... into the unknown... to seek out our fortune and glory. We're not taking no crap from nobody... NOTHING from nobody, we're on the...

{Pom Pom bubbles in a bored tone. The camera pans away from the duo and across the night sky where, to Halloween-type music, the credits roll (first the title, followed by "Yet another Halloween-style cartoon" and then "By the same people who ALWAYS made these types of toons, in case you don't know, which you should by now."). After the credits are finished, the camera comes to Strong Bad, Strong Mad and The Cheat, all in their respective Halloween costumes, standing behind The Stick. A carton of eggs is sitting nearby.}

STRONG BAD: Okay, The Cheat, so let me get this straight: the plan is to just... JUMP Homestar and egg the ever-loving crap out of him with the eggs I got from Bubs? And then while he's distracted, we swipe all his candy and split?

THE CHEAT: Meh. {as if saying, "Yeah"}

STRONG BAD: That, my friend, has got to be the best plan I ever heard of. Oops, get down, boys, here he comes now.

{Strong Bad and his posse duck down behind the Stick.}

STRONG BAD: Stick. Stick. Twigs. Um... burger.

{Homestar and Pom Pom come towards them, Homestar still talking away.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: But not snakes. I hate snakes.

{Strong Bad, Strong Mad and The Cheat all pop out from behind The Stick}

STRONG BAD, STRONG MAD, THE CHEAT: {in unison} AH-HA!!!

POM POM: {bubbling angrily}

STRONG BAD: Aw, CRAP!! The Cheat, why didn't you tell me his roundly friend Pom Pom would accompany him?!? {to Pom Pom} N-n-now... now, take it easy there, big guy. We don't want any trouble. We were just gonna...

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Y-y-yeah! Yeah, just gonna scare you. So, uh... boo!

POM POM: {bubbles in an annoyed way}

{Suddenly, the toon messes up and the screen distorts momentarily to the sound of electric buzzing and shockwaves zipping through the screen. And for a second or two, Marshie (in his vampire costume) appears transparently through the toon and then disappears, laughing evilly.}

STRONG BAD: What the crap...?

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG MAD: I HAVE NO IDEA!

{Cut to Homestar and Pom Pom arriving at Marzipan's house. Homestar knocks on the door with his head, like what happened in "3 Times Halloween Funjob". The door opens and the duo see Marzipan, only it's not really Marzipan, just that cardboard rendering of her that Homestar created, which is decked out in the costume the real Marzipan will be seen wearing.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Marzipan! Trick or treat! {No answer; total silence} Ahem! Maarrzipaaan! Triiick or treeeat!

{There is still no answer; total silence, except for crickets chirping. Homestar walks up to the rendering and tries to puppet it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That costume is so not you, Marzipan.

{He then starts imitating Marzipan, puppeting the cutout}

CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: Yeah, well, yours is certainly not perfect itself.

{Pom Pom bubbles, annoyed. Suddenly, the toon messes up again and again, Marshie appears}

MARSHIE: Hahahaha... Muhahaha! You can't destroy meeee...! I told youuuu.... I'm going to take that...!

{Marshie sucks up Homestar and Pom Pom's candies}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {jumping up in the air, eyes bugging out} Holy CRAP!!

STRONG BAD: {distant; offscreen} Hey, that's my line!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: It's like all my nightmares about marshmallows have come true at once!

{Pom Pom charges forward to battle Marshie and leaps high into the air to get at him, but Marshie simply inhales through his mouth and sucks in Pom Pom. Marshie then grows bigger and laughs evilly, his voice becoming deeper and more evil.}

MARSHIE: {deep, rumbling voice} Boogidy-boogidy!!! I'll scare you ALL!!! Now, why don't you enjoy my Fluffity Puffity marshalade... it's... EVERYWHEREEEE!!!!!!

{With that, millions of marshmallows, some white and some in black and some in orange (the black and orange ones are there since it's Halloween), appear and rain down to the ground. Homestar screams and runs off. The camera cuts to Bubs' Concession Stand, where you, for once, see the inside. Everyone, sans Marzipan (unless you count the cardboard rendering Homestar made) and Pom Pom, is cowering under the main counter. From the main counter window, Marshie running amok outside, showering the area with white, orange and black marshmallows, laughing evilly. The Cheat is beside Strong Bad, as is Strong Mad.}

THE CHEAT: {panicked The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: You're right, The Cheat. I never liked that guy, either. I always knew he wasn't all there, but this is ridiculous!

{Homestar is looking the other way to Strong Sad (also in his costume), the Marzipan cardboard drawing next to him.}

STRONG SAD: Homestar, you don't seemed too worried about the fact that Marzipan and Pom Pom are missing.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What're you talkin' about? I lost Pom Pom to that freakin' marshmallow, but Marzipan's right here.

CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: No, Homestar, Strong Sad is right, I am missing.

STRONG SAD: See?

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Just let it go already, Dumbo.

{Cut to Coach Z, in his costume, cowering between Bubs, also in his costume, and Strong Bad.}

COACH Z: I orlways knew I'd die alorne.

STRONG BAD: Coach, you call this "alone"? You're surrounded by almost every character here.

{Cut to the King of Town and the Poopsmith, both in their respective costumes, cowering under the counter.}

THE KING OF TOWN: I always knew I'd die by homicidal food, but I never knew it would be marshmallows. I never saw THAT coming. {sadly} Doo hoo hoo...

{Cut to Bubs, who leaps up from under the counter with a brave and determined look on his face.}

BUBS: Hey, wait a minute! What is wrong with us?! Let's defend ourselves, instead of just loafing around, waiting for the inevitable!

{Bubs pulls out a shotgun and cocks it. Cut to Strong Mad, also leaping up, with his knees bent and legs in front of him. He lands with a crash.}

STRONG MAD: LET'S HURT SOMETHING!!

{All the characters run out of the stand, grouped together like an angry mob, complete with torches and pitchforks, except Bubs, who has his shotgun. They run toward a giant Marshie, with red glowing eyes and a deep voice deeper than ever now. He is so gigantic, he is as big as a 40-story building.}

MARSHIE: {deep, rumbling, echoing voice} Awwww... SNAP!!! {The mob stops running.} WHHHHAAATTT DOOOOO YOOOUU WAAAAANNNT?!??!!?!

STRONG BAD: {nervous; stammering} N-n-nothing... nothing at all. We were just leaving... so... um... see ya!

{Strong Bad turns to run, but Bubs cuts him off.}

BUBS: We're not goin' anywhere!

{Bubs aims his shotgun at Marshie. Cut to an extreme closeup of Bubs' face.}

BUBS: End of the line, cottonball...!

{Marshie inhales through his mouth again and sucks up Bubs' shotgun. Bubs takes a step back in surprise. Next, Marshie sucks up the cardboard rendering of Marzipan Homestar still has with him.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {stunned} MARZIPAN! NOOOO!!! {crying} Why? She was so young! {Suddenly, his mood changes from sad to a mix of both brave and furious.} Okay, you freakin' robot, you asked for it! First, you stole my job in the Fluffy Puff commercial and now you've kidnapped my girlfriend! {He charges toward Marshie} Well, I'm putting a stop to this old-school style! Homestarrrr... RUN!!!

{Homestar leaps into the air toward Marshie. But he, too, gets sucked up by Marshie. Cut to Strong Bad, who had been watching the debacle.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa, that was awesome.

THE CHEAT: {angry The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Oh, I mean, that was horrible! {to himself} I can't believe I'm saying this... {sarcastic wailing} Come back, Homestar Runner! We can't live without you!

{Strong Bad charges toward Marshie and leaps up to his face, only to get sucked up as well. Then Marshie eyes the remaining characters, who scream and, after a beat, run for their lives. But it's no use; Marshie sucks them all up. Then he sucks up all the scenery until the whole screen is white. Finally, he turns his attention toward the camera, which he then sucks up as well. The camera gets sucked into Marshie's mouth. Inside is a swirly vortex. One finds the characters and pieces of the scenery all floating around inside, surrounded by LOTS of candies from the H*R line of work, including some obscure candies one doesn't see anymore, including the real old candies like Fluffy Puff Air-Puffed Sugar Delights and Delicious Bags. Echoing tones of Marshie's dialogue is heard every now and again ("Aww, SNAP!", "Sup, fools?", "Yowza! Guess who birfday it is!", etc.). Meanwhile, the characters, still in their Halloween costumes, are seen floating in a white vortex of marshmallows and Homestar candies. Strong Bad, Strong Mad and The Cheat look around.}

STRONG BAD: Where are we anyways?

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Well, I knew that. I just never knew that this is what the inside of a marshmallow was like. But why is it so white on Halloween?

COACH Z: Yeah, shouldn't the maershmorllows be blork and aerange?

{Then, as if on cue, the swirls, and the marshmallows all turn black and orange.}

MARSHIE: {echoing} Boogidy-boogidy! I'll scare your dad!

STRONG BAD: Man, as if I didn't think that was annoying enough already...

MARSHIE: {echoing} You can't destroy me...!

STRONG BAD: Now what're we gonna do?

{Homestar, meanwhile, finds Cardboard Marzipan and puppets it again.}

CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: We can sing a song!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's a great idea, Marzipan!

STRONG BAD: Homestar, how can you think of singing at a time like—

{But it's too late; Homestar starts singing the song that he would sing if you decided to do that to get the stirring utensil from Bubs in the 2005 Halloween toon, complete with the off-key music playing in the background.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing awfully} Backyard peaches! Treats come true! Karate summer! What wouldja do? The world is the egg and diapers come true...!

{The other characters all groan and cover their ears. Suddenly, they hear someone else picking on Homestar's song. A feminine voice. Homestar looks offscreen. It's Marzipan, in her Halloween costume, playing Homestar's song on her guitar, Carol.}

MARZIPAN: That was great, Homestar. I didn't know you could sing.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Marzipan? MARZIPAN!!

{The other characters and Homestar all float toward her through the vortex. Pom Pom is beside her.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aw, I didn't know the marshmallow sucked you up, too! Why didn't you tell me that?

MARZIPAN: Well, how was I to know? I was just off picketing about how Halloween is being too commercial these days and the marshmallow sucked me up, because he objected to my ideas. And before he sucked me up, he also sucked up that guy over there.

{The cast looks to their left. Cut to the Goblin, floating around, his usual organ ditty playing.}

STRONG BAD: How do we get out of here?

MARZIPAN: Well, I've actually thought of that. And what I did was I created the polar opposite of Fluffy Puff Marshmallows, which is none other than that potion Homestar made for me a few years back. I still have it.

BUBS: Now hold up, Jetzipan! Doesn't that edible cottonball know that? I thought we couldn't destroy him.

MARZIPAN: We're not gonna destroy him intentionally, just try to get ourselves and everything else in here out... although if we could destroy him, that would be wonderful! I don't like him either myself.

{She takes out her cauldron full of the potion from 2005 and she pours out the potion. It falls through the vortex and lands on a white floor. Marshie suddenly starts coughing and gagging and then he lets out a great big sneeze. The force of the sneeze is so great that it sends the characters smashing into each other and zooming about as they fly out of Marshie's mouth and into the white background. The giant, red-eyed, vampire-costume-clad Marshie is seen floating before the white background when he sneezes and the wind from his mouth shoots out and the wind covers the screen. When at last the dust settles, the sky is nighttime once again and everything is back to normal.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa! We're saved! Everything is back to normal!

THE CHEAT: {ecstatic The Cheat noises}

{Meanwhile, Marshie is shrinking back to his regular size that one would see on TV. He cowers in fear at everyone, looking at him hungrily. Cut to the King of Town and the Poopsmith.}

THE KING OF TOWN: Doo! I could just eat you up.

MARSHIE: No! Stay back!

{Cut to Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: For once, I'm on your side, Kingy! Let's eat him, so he'll never annoy-slash-bother-slash-threaten anyone again!

{Marshie zips away, screaming. The characters all give chase as Marshie zips away over the horizon, the characters all giving chase. The screen fades to black and you see the word, "End", written using black and orange marshmallows all stacked around each other. Then the screen fades back in to reveal the usual screen of all the characters standing around in the middle of the night field in their costumes.}

Easter Eggs

  • During the scene with the King of Town and the Poopsmith cowering under the counter of Bubs' Concession Stand, click on the Poopsmith's head to see a scene with Homsar:
{Homsar is seen cowering under the counter in his costume.}
HOMSAR: AaAa, where am I in a crowd of Easters?
  • At the end, click on Homestar:
STRONG BAD: Homestar? ... Homestar? ... Homestar?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yes, Strong-O Bad-O?
STRONG BAD: Don't dress up as a hooky player next year.
  • At the end, click on Strong Bad:
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, Strong Bad! Nice overly-used makeup guy's costume there!
STRONG BAD: Could be a little more specific?
BUBS: He's Ozzy Osbourne!
STRONG BAD: No, guess again!
THE CHEAT: {questioning The Cheat noises}
STRONG BAD: No, The Cheat, I am not David Lee Roth from Van Halen! I'm Gene Simmons!
STRONG SAD: I like Gene Simmons. She was great in Guys and Dolls... and Spartacus... and Elmer Gantry.
STRONG BAD: You stay out of this, Dumbo!
  • At the end, click on Strong Mad:
COACH Z: Hey, Strong Mad! Why did you shave all that hair off your body?
STRONG MAD: IT'S PART OF MY COSTUME! I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!
STRONG BAD: Yeah, so why don't you leave the big guy alone, Coach?
  • At the end, click on Pom Pom:
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, Pom Pom, I like your detective outfit.
POM POM: {irritated bubbling}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, sorry. I thought you were a detective.
  • At the end, click on Marzipan:
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, Marzi, I just love your "stereotypical-teenage-girl-from-the-future" costume. You're probably just fawnin' all over boys, eh? Well, I know a boy right here.
MARZIPAN: Eww! You're disgusting! We've officially broken up now.
  • At the end, click on Bubs:
STRONG BAD: So, uh, Tubbs, I guess your plan is to once again make doubly sure that no one whatsoever can recognize your costume?
BUBS: I'll give you three guesses. The first two don't count.
  • At the end, click on The King of Town:
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, Your Majesty, nice Cyberman outfit!
THE KING OF TOWN: You amateur, do you know what you're talkin' about? I'm a food guy. I like to be a food guy sometimes on Halloween. This food guy's cereal only comes out at Halloween nowadays.
  • At the end, click on Cardboard Marzipan:
MARZIPAN: Homestar, why do you still have that thing out?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {to Cardboard Marzipan} Don't listen to her, Marzipan.
{Marzipan whips out Cardboard Homestar, who is also dressed in the real Homestar's costume.}
MARZIPAN: {to Cardboard Homestar} Don't listen to him, Homestar.
{She puppets Cardboard Homestar.}
CARDBOARD HOMESTAR: Yeah, I'm much smarter than he is. But you're the smartest of all.
MARZIPAN: Thanks, Homestar.
{She puts Cardboard Homestar away.}

Fun Facts

Remarks

Inside References

  • Homestar's trick-or-treating bag is the same bag that Marzipan had in The House That Gave Sucky Treats.
  • Pom Pom's trick-or-treating pumpkin-shaped bucket is the same one that Bubs had in 3 Times Halloween Funjob, as is the carton of eggs Strong Bad bought from Bubs and would use to egg the "ever-loving crap" out of Homestar.
  • Marshie's vampire costume and "boogidy-boogidy" dialogue are referenced in Malloween Commercial.
  • Strong Bad (but not his posse) also tried to ambush passersby from behind The Stick in Happy Hallow-day.
  • Strong Bad talking like a stick is a reference to his talking like a bush in bike thief.
  • Strong Bad's mention of a burger as part of his "stick talk" is a reference to labor day.
  • Bubs' shotgun is the same one he used to destroy the computer virus in virus.
  • Homestar saying, "Homestarrr... RUN!" and his leaping into the air toward Marshie are both references to the end of Marshmallow's Last Stand.
  • Cardboard Homestar was first seen in Quality Time.
  • Both the song that Homestar sings while inside Marshie and the potion used to jettison everyone out of him are from Halloween Potion-ma-jig.
  • Marshie being compared to a cottonball is a reference to Cheat Commandos...O's, which is what Gunhaver called Searg-g-geant Marshie.
    • Likewise, Marshie being called a "freakin' robot" is a reference to Meet Marshie.
  • Fluffy Puff Air-Puffed Sugar Delights and Delicious Bags are both candies dating back to the Old-Timey universe.
    • Delicious Bags also made a cameo appearance in 3 Times Halloween Funjob, as a possible treat to give Bubs and Coach Z.
  • Bubs had originally been called "Tubbs" by Homsar in Where's The Cheat?.
  • Homestar had called Strong Bad "Strong-O Bad-O" in Homestar Presents: Presents.
  • Strong Bad querying Bubs on the latter trying to ensure that no one recognized his costume refers to the end scene of Halloween Fairstival, when they have nearly the exact same discussion.

Real-World References

  • Homestar's dialogue at the beginning, as well as the notion of Homestar disliking snakes, are references to the Indiana Jones body of work.
  • Homsar's dialog refers to his costume's purpose, to find Waldo in a crowded place.
  • "Dumbo" (as Strong Bad calls Strong Sad at one point) is a reference to the title protagonist of the 1941 animated film of the same name, created by Walt Disney. Dumbo is an anthropomorphic circus elephant with abnormally big ears, which makes him the laughingstock of the circus until he discovers that his ears can be used to make him fly.
  • Another Disney movie is referenced as well: Pinocchio. This film is referenced with Marshie sneezing everyone and everything out of himself, not unlike Monstro the whale, who sneezes thanks to a smoky fire started by Pinocchio and Geppetto to escape.
  • The way Strong Mad leaps up, with his knees bent and his legs in front of him, refers to an attack by his costume E. Honda, known as the Knee Bash.
  • The swirly vortex inside Marshie that the characters float around in is likely a reference to the Alfred Hitchcock film Vertigo.
  • Ozzy Osbourne is an English singer. Considered by many to be the "Godfather of Heavy Metal", Osbourne's career has now spanned four decades. He rose to prominence as lead vocalist of pioneering English heavy metal band Black Sabbath, and eventually achieved a multi-platinum, award-winning solo career. In the early 2000s, he also hosted a reality show, called The Osbournes with his family.
  • David Lee Roth is an American rock vocalist, songwriter, actor, author, and former radio personality, best known as the lead singer for the band Van Halen.
  • Strong Sad talking about Gene Simmons the way he does is a reference to actress Jean Simmons, with the movies Strong Sad mentions being just a few of the movies she starred in.
  • Cybermen were a race of cyborgs from the Dr. Who body of work.
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