HRFWiki:The Purge

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

In the beginning Joey Day created the Knowledge Base and the Fanstuff.
Now the wiki was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the pages, and the User of Joey was hovering over the database.
And Joey said, "Let there be articles", and there were articles. Joey saw that the articles were good, and He separated the normal folk from the administrators. Joey called the normal folk "users", and the administrators he called "sysops". And there were users, and there were edits - the first generation.
And Joey said, "Let there be an expanse between the wiki to separate articles from fanstuff." So Joey made the expanse and separated the articles under the expanse from the fanstuff above it. And it was so. Joey called the expanse "MediaWiki". And there was knowledge, and there was fanstuff - the second generation.
And Joey said, "Let the disruptive users on the wiki be gathered to one place, and let special pages appear." And it was so. Joey called the special pages "Special:Ipblocklist" and the gathered users he called "vandals". And Joey saw that it was good.
Then Joey said, "Let the users produce fanstuff: sprite-bearing comics and emails on the pages that bear fanstuff with awards in them, according to their various categories."
(but then a vandal called NSMC came holy crap!!)
The bureaucrats produced tools: editing disabled according to their user types and accounts blocked according to their vandalism. And Joey saw that it was good. And there was peace, and there were memes: the third generation.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of sprite comics, it was the age of Stinkoman clones, it was the epoch of blogs, it was the epoch of emails, it was the season of Awesome, it was the season of Failure, it was the spring of Golden Fanstuff, it was the winter of Moldy Apple Fanstuff, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Sysophood, we were all going direct the other way- in short, the period was so far like the third generation, that some of its noisiest sysops insisted on its being received, for good or for awesome, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

        The future was looking bleak for the Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki. It was a time of desolation, chaos and uncertainty. Generation pitted against generation: babies havin' babies. Then one day, from the right side of Australia America, came a man. A man with a dream: a dream where all fanstuff are not equal, with the lesser breed of fanstuff smitten from the wiki. This man... was Joshua.

        Joshua knew what to do: "we must remove this cancer upon our society, casting them deep into the depths of the unknown and never looking back. Only then can the wiki prosper and flourish like it once did." Many were unconvinced, however deep in their hearts the general populace knew that it had to be done. And thus the revolution began: users accepted their fate and it seemed as though there was finally a new light for the wiki. Deletions rise. Fanstuffs fall. Hope survives.

In A.D. 2008, war was beginning.

FANSTUFF USERS: WHAT HAPPEN ?
JOSHUA: SOMEBODY SET UP US THE PURGE.
SUPER SAM: WE GET SIGNAL.
FANSTUFF USERS: WHAT !!
SUPER SAM: MAIN SCREEN TURN ON.
FANSTUFF USERS: IT'S YOU !!
IT'S DOT COM: HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN !!
IT'S DOT COM: ALL YOUR WIKI ARE BELONG TO US.
FANSTUFF USERS: WHAT YOU SAY !!
IT'S DOT COM: YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO IMPROVE MAKE YOUR TIME.
IT'S DOT COM: HA HA HA HA ....
FANSTUFF USERS: SYSOPS !!
IT'S DOT COM: TAKE OFF EVERY 'FANSTUFF' !!
IT'S DOT COM: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DOING.
IT'S DOT COM: DELETE 'FANSTUFF'.
IT'S DOT COM: FOR GREAT JUSTICE.

        Everything was suddenly turned on its head. Users panicked at the news that only the best 100 fanstuff could survive. It was no longer about simply deleting the bad fanstuff: the entire wiki would be reduced to nothing more than a smoking crater littered with fragments of transcripts and data. It was up to the users to decide which of the fanstuffs would be chosen: chosen to make a long perilous journey of many days and nights, at the end of it all finally arriving at a new mystical nirvana of fanstuff.

        There were riots in the streets, however after many ban-hammers the population of the wiki realised that there was nothing they could do about it. Each and every user eventually resigned to the fact that a new age, a new generation, could not be created with sacrifice. With this, users started rescuing the fanstuffs they held most dear to them. There were some tearful goodbyes as a large collection of history was left behind, never to be seen again. The greatest fanstuff were moved to the docks, ready to board the GLORIOUS GRAVY BOAT. The wiki streets were left deserted; a desolate wasteland where only the vandals and trolls dare tread. It was a lawless place; abandoned by civilised society for all eternity.

        At the docks, memories of what once was were repressed, and the users celebrated how fortunate they were to witness this historic event. A new era was beginning. An era of beautiful fanstuff as far as the eye can see: no award shows needed since every fanstuff was equally awesome. A communist wonderful society where creativity could roam free, without need for petty "rules" or "regulations". The last of the fanstuff were loaded onto the gravy boat, which launched on its first and final voyage to the sound of trumpets and cheering. Within the abandoned city, air raid sirens blared as bomber jets zoomed overhead. The industrial-purge-class-fifteen-megaton bombs fell from the sky. There was an extraordinary flash of white as the city that had only days ago been occupied with busy city life was obliterated. Reduced to nothing more than ashes on the wind. Despite the moment of sadness, it was a moment of great excitement as well. The bombs, although a symbol of destruction and decay, lit up the sky with an untold brilliance, one the likes of which would never be seen again. After the explosion, all was silent. The sun slowly disappeared beyond the horizon, and the gravy boat set sail into the seas of the unknown.

        And thus the purge began.