Fake Character Email Ductape Blader/House

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

Ductape E-mail #1: House

Summary: Markie thinks Ductape's house is made of tape. Ductape proves otherwise.

Cast (in order of appearance): Ductape, some random Homestar Runner Characters, Debbie.

Places: Ductape's house.

Date: October 8, 2005

Length: 47 lines

Transcript

{A door opens. It leads to a room with a bright green carpet. In the far corner is a messy desk with a computer on it. The walls are surrounded with x-games posters. Ductape walks in holding a webcam.}

DUCTAPE: {Skates into the computer room} Okay, I got the domain and website set up, now to take this webcam to the test.

{He plugs it into the computer, and sees himself on screen}

DUCTAPE: Perfect. Now let's get the e-mail show started!

{He loads an e-mail on his computer and reads it aloud.}

Dear Ductape Blader,
Is your house made of duct tape as well?
-Markie

DUCTAPE: {Opens up a wordpad document.} No, my house isn't made of duct tape. Because my house is not a tape-house. Only my clothes are made of duct tape. I like them because the are tough and durable, and because since I make tham myself, I don't have to worry about sizing. Yes, several people had tried to make duct tape clothes, but they don't have the same skills as me!

{By now, the typing starts to scroll as it reaches the end of the page.}

DUCTAPE: If you really want to know what my house is made of, then you'll like this house tour I'm going to give you, and those viewers at home.

{Ductape is now standing outside his house.}

DUCTAPE: So you see, my house is standing on a concrete foundation, with brick walls layered by tight, wooden-like plastic siding. And you can see the windows are made of plexiglass, so they won't break when you throw a baseball at it.

{As he says this, he produces a baseball from behind his back and tosses it out the window. The ball bounces off and onto the grass. Now Ductape is in the garage.}

DUCTAPE: My garage has a smooth, albiet powdery concrete floor, and the walls are made of wood. They are covered in nfinished blotches of white paint. Now I'm opening the garage to get the ramp out to the roof.

{Ductape gets a ramp on the wall. He skates out and places it next to his house, then skates up.}

DUCTAPE: On the top of my roof, you can see the cement shingles layered on like fish scales.

FEMALE VOICE: Hey Ductape! What are you doing on the roof?

DUCTAPE: Oh, sorry Debbie. My first e-mailer asked if my house was made of tape, and I'm giving a tour of my house to show that it's not a tape-house.

{He faces the audience.}

DUCTAPE: That's just my sister, Debbie Blader. She likes to sit on the roof because the window to her room leads right to it.

DEBBIE: Are you done with the house tour yet?

DUCTAPE: Just one more thing. Can I go through your room as a shortcut? I want to get back to my computer room to finish this e-mail.

DEBBIE: No, I just cleaned my room. I don't want blading tracks in it. You know mom hates my room messy.

DUCTAPE: It's aways messy and covered with items. But skating down the ramp will be more fun.

{He skates over to the ramp on the side of his house, and stalls a few seconds. Then he blades down.}

DUCTAPE: Whee!

{Eventually he gets to the street and does a skate-flip. Slide to Ductape in his computer room.}

DUCTAPE: This room is the last of my "House material tour". As you can see, my computer room has a bright green carpet and plaster walls. And there's some electrical wiring and plumbing in my house too.

{He sits down in front of the computer. The previous text is still there.}

DUCTAPE: So I hope that answers your question, Mark and E. My house is not a tape-house. But my clothes are tape-clothes. So I'll close this e-mail with an e-mail closing. {The computer shows a window saying: Click here to e-mail Blader.}

Easter Eggs

• Click on "duct tape clothes" too see some Homestar characters dressed in badly wrapped duct tape.

• Wait a bit to see some extra footage.

DUCTAPE: This was pretty awesometacular first e-mail. I wasn't expecting it to be this good.

Fun Facts

• Ductape mentions his house is not a "tape-house" which is an obvious gag from tape-leg
• Ductape's house is mostly modeled after my own.
• Debbie is my sister's real name.
• The part where Debbie liked to si on the roof came from "Zits" where Jeremy sat on his own roof. I also like to sit on there.