Cheerleadermailz/other friends
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Cheerleader talks about her other friendships. Or lack thereof.
Cast (in order of appearance): Cheerleader, Sandy the Candy Bar, What's her Face, So and So, The Ugly One, Mrs. Commanderson (easter egg), The King of Town (easter egg)
Places: Cheerleader's Room, Cheerleader's Basement
Computer: BoyToy 2010
Date: April 30, 2010
Page Title: Da First One'd!
Transcript
CHEERLEADER: {types e-mailmow.boys} First e-mail, checkin' it from a computer I got off the black market for 2 bucks...and my soul. But it was worth it.
Dear Cheerleader, Who do you hang out with beside Whats her face, So and So, and Uggs ~T. McArby
{pronounces "T. McArby" as "T'McArby: the crappy nickname of legend!}
CHEERLEADER: Well, T'McHatin', what do you think? Do you seriously think I spend most of my time with those three? If I did that, I'd turn into one of those weird, big glasses'd nerds in ol' 80's movies. You know, with all those cliques, romantic situations, and Madonna references. No, I have a secret friend. A friend who I keep locked up in my basement. Don't get any ideas. Sickos.
{Cheerleader looks in both directions, then tiptoes to her basement. We then see a dimly lit room, with a box labeled "Don't touch unless you're pretty, or relatively close". Cheerleader puts her hand in the box, and takes out the same exact candy bar from Issue 7, only now it looks even more crusty.}
CHEERLEADER: Here she is folks, Sandy the Candy Bar! We've been bestiest friends since Pre-K! Of course, my "other friends" can't knowthat, since it would, most likely, cause a major time riff in our friendship, or somethin' like that. Now, if y'all excuse me, Sandy and I gotta sneak into the public boys' bathroom. It has great photo opportunities!
{Cheerleader turns around only to see What's Her Face, So and So, and The Ugly One standing there, looking steamed. There is a long silence.}
CHEERLEADER: (nervously) Oh, hiya, my Milky Way galaxies. H-how long was you standing there?
WHAT'S HER FACE: (angrily) Since the beginning of the freakin' e-mail. We came to steal your lightbulb. 'Cause we felt like it.
CHEERLEADER: (desperately) Listen, I can ex-
THE UGLY ONE: You can't exercise nuthin', Cheerlier! All them years of following you, and what's my payment? Getting stabbed in the back with...with...
{The Ugly one snatches Sandy from Cheerleader's hand}
CHEERLEADER: Sandy!
THE UGLY ONE: There ain't gonna be no more Sandy, Cheersucker! Observe, as I angrily swallow this candy bar!
EVERYONE EXCEPT THE UGLY ONE: NO!
{The Ugly One bites Sandy, then falls down}
ANNOUNCER: FOOD POISONING'D!
SO AND SO: (faces the camera) That's it? Can't you think of a more creative death?
{A giant tapeworm pops out of The Ugly One's belly. The other girl's eyes are wide with shock.}
ANNOUNCER: Pop. There, happy?
{The scene changes back to Cheerleader's Room.}
CHEERLEADER: So, there ya have it, T'Lovin It. My other friendships. That never work out. Don't worry, the TGS will forgive me by next e-mail, since none of these are canon. That much. (stops typing) 'Till next time! Wait, I don't have a paper.
{A lined paper comes down saying "E-mail Cheerleader, Yo"}
CHEERLEADER: Oh, the convenience! Wanna be friends?
Easter Eggs
Click on "TGS" to see a scene in Pre-K.
MRS. COMMANDERSON: Now, Cheerleader, What did I say about dropping food?
CHEERLEADER: The guy who invented the five-second rule wanted to torture the minds of youths everywhere?
Click on "T'Lovin It" to see a scene with the King of Town drawn in TGS style.
{The King of Town is seen reading a book entitled "Tales of The McArby Part Deux: This Time, It's Vegan}
KING OF TOWN: Go, Arnold! Show them carrots who's boss!
