Astromund Emails/SUPAH FLY
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{Fade in. Jeff is sitting on the tram, riding to his destination. He is in a state of panic.}
JEFF: {yelling} ...BECAUSE WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME, WE ARE SINKING IN THE SAND!
{The Trams stop at the Physics section. All the astromunds other than Jeff get off.}
INTERCOM: {autotune} NOW ARRIVING AT PHYSICS LAB 9. THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING MOON BASE LL C.
JEFF: Jesus H Sturmgewehr! I am so late for work! How will I ever explain this to my boss?
{The Tram begins to move. It passes by a Food Court}
JEFF: Look at them. Why can't I be like them, all pretentious and eating deluxe food? I mean come on!
{Jeff presses his face against the tram window.}
JEFF: Looky at that burger. It's practically covered in musturd. I can't even afford that much musturd.
{The tram stops}
INTERCOM: {autotune} NOW ARRIVING AT FOOD COURT A. THANK YOU FOR WORKING AT MOON BASE LL C.
{three astromunds get on, including the one with the burger.}
JEFF: {thinking} Hey, that's the guy with the musturd burger! And he still has some!
ASTROMUND 1: {To astromund 2} So the other day I was one that blind date I told you about.
ASTROMUND 2: {To astromund 1} So how did it go?
ASTROMUND 1: {To astromund 2} Turns out, she was a biologist like me. We spent the date making punnett squares if we happened to ever actually mate.
ASTROMUND 2: {To astromund 1} That's funn- {Falls on the ground and bursts into tears}
ASTROMUND 1: {To astromund 2} Oh that's right, we can't mate. {sulks}
JEFF: Hey Mister Burger Owner, care to give the rest of that burger to me? You clearly look like you aren't going to eat it.
BURGER OWNER: ...No. {smears burger all over his face}
{Jeff sulks}
INTERCOM: WE NOW INTERRUPT YOUR TRAM TRAVEL TO BRING YOU PENDULUM. THANK YOU FOR TRAVELING.
{everyone looks up, the speakers begin to blast "The Other Side". No one seems to notice.}
ASTROMUND 3:' I am Gloxnohbn, and I disagree with this statement.
{The tram and the music stops abruptly.}
INTERCOM: {in a organic voice} Astromund X-993, please report to the Management section, instead of your normal custodial duties. Thank you.
{everyone looks at Jeff, who is wearing his ID badge with x-993 on it. The Tram begins to move again.}
JEFF: Oh jesus, what did I do this time? {shouting at speakers} I can't clean this burger mess because I don't have my mop! I didn't make the mess either! Don't fire me!
BURGER OWNER: Relax man, it's nothing big. Now grow up before I throw up.
ASTROMUND 2: No, it's nut up or shut up. You have it all wrong.
{The tram forwards on for about 2 minutes, and arrives at the MGMT}
INTERCOM: {autotune} NOW ARRIVING AT THE MANAGEMENT DEPARTMENT. THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING MOON BASE LL C.
JEFF: Uh, i'm just going to step around that pile of musturd burger. No favors, milkshake.
BURGER OWNER: Remember man, it's zit up or i shi-
ASTROMUND 2: {yelling} It's nut up or shut up!
JEFF: I'll remember that, Musty! Now I must depart! {hops off tram and walks up to the door}
JEFF: Uh, hello there door.
DOOR: STATE BUISNESS.
JEFF: Uh, I got called down by the man to talk.
{The door vanishes, Jeff walks in and over to the receptionist desk}
JEFF: Uh, i'm here to be managed.
RECEPTIONIST: Yeah, okay! Yeah, you are gonna have to go down the hallway and take a left, okay? Yeah.
JEFF: Uh-
RECEPTIONIST: {interupts} And also don't step on the paint or i'll gut you.
{Jeff walks nervously over to the door to the door and knocks}
MYSERIOUS VOICE: Come in, child.
{Jeff walks in. There is a fat astromund sitting casually on a couch.}
JEFF: You called sir?
ADAMS: Please, call me Adams. I am your new boss, you have been promoted from lowly janitor to a customer service representative.
JEFF: What?!
ADAMS: Everyone of Human Resources disagrees with this action, however, you have won that "free promotion" card from that last game of Monopoly, and the Moon Laws states that we must honor Monopoly cards as legal documents.
JEFF: The moon laws do state that. {slick grin}
ADAMS: Your stuff has been gathered and placed in your new cubicle. If you take the tram down to MORE LATER, YOU CAN WRITE MORE LATER!
