Astromund's Quest/Andy2
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
{Open to Andy's house. Fade in to show Andy and Eddie Money searching through a small, dark, cluttered room}
EDDIE Cheat... ballball?
ANDY: Oh, c'mon! Just keep looking! Its in here somewhere!
{Andy walks further into the room, until he bumps into a pile of boxes}
ANDY: Lets see whats in this box... {Tries to open box, only to fail} ...Um... {Tries harder, getting tired}
EDDIE: {Snickers}
ANDY: Shut up! ...Well, only one thing to do now!
{A look of worry and horror appears on Eddie's face. He flies off in fear}
> CHASE EDDIE
ANDY: Nah. I'll just let the little wuss run. For now, I have a box to open.
> INVENTORY
- NOTHING
ANDY: Yeah, that's usually what happens when you don't have anything yet.
>Look around you
ANDY: That was a pretty good show. I've always been a fan of British sitcoms. ...Okay, sorry.
{You are in a small cluttered room, lit by a single lit bulb. Your closet to be exact. A group of boxes are in front of you.}
>Shoot box
ANDY: {Aims blaster at box} 1... 2... 3!
{Cut to the outside of Andy's closet. A large explosion from inside blows the door off of its hinges. Andy walks out and holds up a shield, triumphantly}
ANDY: I finally found my shield! I've been looking for this for months!
YOU GOT SHIELD!
ANDY: Hey, a fancy got item message. Neat. Well, that was clearly the most exciting thing to happen today. I suppose I'll just uneventfully go take a shower while nothing happens at all.
{Cut to an hour later. Andy walks out of the bathroom}
ANDY: Hey, Eddie!
EDDIE: Cheat?
ANDY: Nothing interesting is gonna happen at all today. Lets go grab a sandwich, which will not lead to anything at all.
{Cut to Andy and Eddie in the kitchen, finishing off some sandwiches}
ANDY: Delicious! C'mon, I think Liekand Talk is on.
EDDIE: Cheatball cheat cheat ball?
ANDY: No, I guess there really isn't a plot today. ...This was a quick episode.
YOU WIN!
> LOOK MAP BEFORE CREDITS BEGIN
ANDY: Well, guess I have a few seconds before the game ends. I'll just-
???: {Offscreen, outside} FREEZE! STEP OUT OF THE HOUSE WITH YOUR HANDS UP!
ANDY: What the...!?
{Cut to the front of Andy's door. Andy walks out}
ANDYS: What's goin- ...Oh. Holy. Crap.
{Camera pans out to reveal a small army of Chorches, Jaros, and Greggos}
>Shoot army
ANDY: BACK! BACK I TELL YOU! {Pulls out blaster}
CHORCH: HE HAS A WEAPON! FIRE!
{Andy is hit by several laser blasts}
AAAA
ANDY: Not my best plan... ow...
>Come out with your hands up
ANDY: Okay, okay! I give! {Starts to hold up hands}
JARO: HE'S TRYING TO SIGNAL IN BACKUP! FIRE!
ANDY: Wait, no!
{The army fires at Andy}
AAA
ANDY: {Falls down, charred} PAINAGE {Gets up} Today is not my day!
>Talk army > "I surrender"
ANDY: I surrender! I give up! Don't-
GREGGO: HE'S TRYING TO TRICK US!
ANDY: OH, COME ON!
GREGGO: FIRE!
{The army, once again, fires at Andy}
AA
ANDY Ouch... this sucks... a lot.
> RUN LIKE HELL
ANDY: Woah! I-... is that even allowed on this wiki? ...Anyway, you can clean out your mouth with soap later. But I think that's the best plan so far. {Starts to run}
CHORCH: HE'S TRYING TO ESCAPE! FIRE!
ANDY: OH GOD-
{You know what happens next. Don't pretend you don't know.}
A
ANDY: This is bad... THIS IS VERY, BERY BAD
> GO TO JAIL. DO NOT PASS GO. DO NOT COLLECT $200
ANDY: Okay, I give up. I have no idea what the crap I did, but just take me to jail and stop. freaking. shooting me.
{Long pause}
ANDY: ...Okay, g-
{A laser blast hits Andy, causing him to pass out}
JARO: ...What? He could've fired at us at any minute!
GREGGO: J-just take him to jail.
{A couple of Grundys walk in and take Andy's body}
CHORCH: Alright, men! Get ready to do a full search of the house!
{The army begins to march into the house. Fade to black.}
{Cut to hours later. Andy is in a dark jail cell. He stirs for a few seconds, but eventually wakes up}
ANDY: Wha...? ...Oh, yeah. Arrested. Well, crap. I guess things could be worse...
A
ANDY: ...Crap!
> SHOOT ANY GUARD THAT PASSES BY JAIL CELL
ANDY: Are you trying to get me killed!? ...Look, I should probably look around.
> get pumpkin
ANDY: ...This better not be a running gag. I swear to Pan Pan, this better not be a running gag.
>LOOK AROUND, AND LOOK FOR EDDIE
ANDY: Eddie might still be in the house. Hopefully. Anyway, yeah. Better look around and see where I am.
{You appear to be in a dark, ordinary cell. Outside of the cell is an office. In the office is a desk. Behind the desk is a young Grundy. Around the room is a filing cabinet, and 2 doors. Some keys are hanging on a hook on the wall. A picture is on the desk.}
>Trick grundy into letting you out.
ANDY: Good idea! I'll just stand up and... {Tries to stand} OW! {Falls down} Crap... looks like I can't stand up...
GRUNDY: Quiet in there, you!
>Talk > Grundy > Please Please Please let me out I have a wife and kids and my wife is 10 years old and has no way to raise my 25 children.
ANDY: You gotta let me outta here, man! I have a 10 year old wife and 25 kids I gotta take care of! ...Wait, I think I mixed something up...
GRUNDY: You sicko! No wonder they locked you up!
>Talk > Grundy > "Oops, sorry. I meant to say I have a 25 year old wife and 10 kids to take care of.
ANDY: Oh, um, what I meant to say was-
GRUNDY: Quiet! I don't wanna hear anymore, you sick son of a Gokul!
ANDY: Hey! That was just uncalled for!
>shoot grundy
ANDY: I repeat... do you want to get me killed!?
>YES
ANDY: Oh, you suck.
GRUNDY: My god, you're insane too!? Why didn't they lock you up earlier!?
>Talk > Grundy > "Dude, seriously. Look." and POINT AT GAMER
ANDY: Crazy, huh? Well... TAKE A LOOK AT THIS {Points to player}
GRUNDY: {Looks in the direction Andy has pointed} ... {Sigh} Friggin' nut...
ANDY: What!? Y-... you don't see?
GRUNDY: {Sighs} Sure, whatever...
> Look PICTURE ON DESK
ANDY: ...Say, who's that in the picture?
GRUNDY: Oh, them? My wife and kids. Haven't seen them much. They keep me so busy here, I don't really get the chance to drop by... {Sighs sadly}
ANDY: Hmmm... really now?
> inv
- Shie- ...WAITAMINUTE
ANDY: Hey! They took my shield!
>Cry because you now have nothing to hide you from the player
ANDY: If I start crying, I'm pretty sure that Grundy will doubt my sanity even further. Anyway, I gotta get him out of here. I think I know a way...
> GET KEYS
ANDY: {Sarcasm} Great idea! If only it wasn't for the fact that I'm STUCK IN A CELL AND CAN'T STAND
> OFFER TO WATCH YOURSELF AND LET THE GRUNDY GO SEE HIS FAMILY
ANDY: So... about this family... you miss them?
GRUNDY: Oh, yeah. I don't get to see them a lot anymore... been busy over here for months.
ANDY: Well, whats stopping you?
GRUNDY: B-but my job...
ANDY: C'mon, man! Whats more important? A boring job or the ones you love?
GRUNDY: ...My god, you're right! {Stands up} To crap with this job! I'm comin', honey! {Grabs the keys and runs towards a door. Unlocks it and runs out, tossing the keys on the desk}
ANDY: ...Yay?
>Attempt to grab the keys
ANDY: {Reaches hand out of bar} Nngh...! ...Y'know, something tells me this isn't the best method.
>shoot keys
ANDY: Nah. I don't wanna destroy my only chance of freedom. But I do think you're on to something here...
>Try pushing open the door to the cell
ANDY: ...I doubt I can push open a locked, metal door.
> ...Are you sure it's locked?
ANDY: Yes. Now shut up.
>Dig a hole, 'Great Escape' style
ANDY: ...Okay, now you're just being silly. Look, I just gotta find a way to get those keys closer to me.
>shoot table
ANDY: Now you're talking! I was afraid I'd have to whip out a blatant hint!
{Aims blaster at the legs of the desk. Fires, destroying the legs holding up the desk. The desk tips over, the keys sliding off. The keys slide right in . front of the cell. One of the desk legs is not far away.}
> Try to grab the keys, miss for comical effect, and then actually grab them
{Andy reaches out for keys. He tries to grab them, but misses.}
ANDY: OOPSIE DAISY! ...There, you had your fun. {Grabs keys}
YOU GOT KEYS!
ANDY: Oh, hey there, get item message.
> Use KEYS on LOCK
ANDY: Okay, I'll just- {Starts to stand up, but falls right back down again} OH GOD ...Well, looks like I have a new problem...
> Look for power crunch
ANDY: Don't see any.
> Get DESK LEG
ANDY: {Stretches out arm} Almost... there... {Grabs desk leg} Huzzah!
YOU GOT DESK LEG!
ANDY: Where is that even coming from?
> Use DESK LEG as CANE
ANDY: {Pulls out leg} Lets see if this works... {Tries to balance on leg} Nngh... AHA! Okay, now for my great escape!
> Cue THE GREAT ESCAPE THEME in your head
ANDY: If it wasn't for the fact that I don't know that song, I'd agree. But seriously, I'm pretty tired of being in here. I CAN'T DO ANY MORE TIME MAN
>Hum mission impossible theme, look for sheild
ANDY: That I can do! {Sticks hand through bars. Slips key into lock. Unlocks cell} Do do do... do do do... {Walks out, using cane} bum bum BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM! Now, where to look?
>use keys on lock
ANDY: ...A little slow, are we? Now somebody say something useful. I'm tired of these single line responses.
>YOU CAN WALK NOW, YOU IDIOT. USE THE [EXPLETIVE DELETED] KEYS ON THE [EXPLETIVE DELETED] LOCK
ANDY: Oh, for the love of-
{TIME REWIND}
ANDY: That I can do! {Sticks hand through bars. Slips key into lock. Unlocks cell} Do do do... do do do... {Walks out, using cane} bum bum BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM! Now, where to look?
{BACK TO REALITY}
ANDY: There. Now do something.
>Look in the filing cabinet
ANDY: Grood idea, annony! {Walks over to filing cabinet} Lets see here... there are about 4 drawers here. Which do I try first?
>Look in the second drawer from the top
ANDY: {Pulls open the second drawer} Its... my blanket? {Pulls out a plastic bag with his blanket inside. A sticky note is on the bag. He pulls it off and reads it} "Found in suspect's bedroom. Has a mysterious damp area-" OKAY NEVERMIND
YOU GOT BLANKET, YOU BEDWETTER!
ANDY: Oh, shut up, Get Item Message!
>Look in top drawer
ANDY: {Opens top drawer} ...Hey, its my shield! {Pulls out shield}
YOU GOT SHIELD! ...AGAIN!
>open second drawer from bottom
ANDY: {Opens 3rd drawer} ...GAH! {Pulls out the pieces of what used to be the Instawarp map} They broke my map! What am I supposed to do now!? W-... walk!? {Notices a map hanging on a wall} ...Hmmm... {Takes map} This should do.
>Open bottom drawer
ANDY: Okay, lets see if I can do this... {Starts to bend over... but ends up falling} Ow... {Opens drawer. Pulls out a power crunch} Sweet lady convenience! {Eats power crunch}
A
AA
AAA
AAAA
AAAAA
ANDY: {Stands up} Well, looks like I'm done here.
> Wonder why all of your stuff was put in an unlocked file cabinet right next to your cell
ANDY: Its a video game! Don't question it.
>Use map
- Andrew Mund's Home: Location of Suspect in Current Case
- Level 5 Police Department
- Richard .I. Downtant's Store AKA The Moonstop: Victim in Current Case
- Annabelle and Blanche Bendini's home: In Questioning for Current Case
ANDY: Wow, looks the police are really after me. But for what?
> Never mind that now, carefully shoot your desk leg into a fancy cane
>or go to the moonstop and find out what the crap is going on. Or both!
ANDY: I'll go with that second suggestion. {Walks out} Can't wait to get out of here...
{Camera pans over to the other door. Zoom in, until fades to show a scene. Two of the muscular Browntants from episode 1 are standing on the front of a table. On the other end, Eddie is sitting in a chair}
BROWNTANT 1: Okay, you little punk! Tell us about your accomplice!
BROWNTANT 2: {Cracks knuckles} Or you're gonna pay...
EDDIE: C-...cheat cheat?
BROWNTANT 2: No, there is no good cop. Now shut up and give us some answers!
>Save, tell them Andy didn't do anything wrong
SAVING...
SAVING...
SAVING...
GAME SAVED
EEEEE
EDDIE: Cheatball cheat ball cheat cheat cheatball ball!
BROWNTANT 1: ...Well? What did he say?
BROWNTANT 2: How should I know?
BROWNTANT 1: What the crap do you mean!? You just answered one of his questions!
BROWNTANT 2: Thats all I know!
BROWNTANT 1: ...Are you kidding me!?
> Try to speak English
EDDIE: {Annoyed} Cheatball cheatball cheat cheat!
BROWNTANT 1: Oh great, now whats it saying!?
BROWNTANT 2: Maybe its talking about how much of a freakin' idiot you are!
BROWNTANT 1: Why you...!
> LOOK FOR PAPER.
EDDIE: {Confused} Chea-
BROWNTANT 2: SHUT UP!
BROWNTANT 1: Maybe you should shut up!
BROWNTANT 2: Oh, thats it! Lets take this outside!
BROWNTANT 1: My pleasure!
{The two run out, leaving the door open behind them}
>Save, Switch back to Andy, shoot the Browntants, then run through open door
what
I'm sorry, what
no
>Go through door
EDDIE: Cheatball! {Flies through door}
AUTO-SAVING...
AUTO-SAVING...
AUTO-SAVING...
GAME SAVED
AAAAA
{Cut to the Moonstop. Police tape is surrounding the store. Several wanted pictures of Andy are hanging on the wall. A police jet is parked out front. Andy walks in.}
ANDY: Wow. Looks like something happened over here. Well, better find out whats going on.
>Look at the wanted picture
ANDY: Hey, its a picture of me. ...Asleep in bed. ...Okay, thats really creepy. Anyway, lets see what it says. {Scans picture} "Name: Andrew .A. Mund. Wanted for vandalism and robbery". What!? I don't remember doing that! ...This week, anyway.
>According to that map you found, you apparently robbed the Moonstop. Voice your opinions on that.
ANDY: Well, it technically only says Downtant is a victim, but whatever you say. Anyway, it really sucks. First I have the whole "letting Stinkoman pass" thing on my back, now this! My reputation isn't doing good this month.
> LOAD
ANDY: Really? ...Well, you're the player.
LOADING...
LOADING...
LOADING...
GAME LOADED
{Fade to black. Open to the Moonstop. Police tape is surrounding the store. Several wanted pictures of Andy are hanging on the wall. A police jet is parked out front. Andy walks in.}
ANDY: Wow. Looks like something happened over here. Well, better find out whats going on.
> CHOKE DOWN YOUR TEARS
ANDY: WHY DID HE PUT IN A LOADING FEATURE {Sobs. After few seconds, he starts to choke} Oh... crap...!
AAAAA
AAAA
AAA
AA
A
{Andy falls over, dead}
GAME OVER! GOOD GOING, FUNNYMAN!
> SAVE
LETS SKIP THE GAME SAVING CRAP AND JUST SAY SAVED FOR ONCE
{Open to the Moonstop. ...You know what everything looks like}
ANDY: Okay, lets try this one more time...
> TRY NOT TO CRY
ANDY: Okay, relax... all I have to do is do everything again... yep... n-no problem at all... {Sniff}
> ENTER MOONSTOP
ANDY: Sorry, Hanson. But since Stan Funniman loaded, I gotta do everything again.
> COWER IN FEAR OF POLICE TAPE
ANDY: ...No. Look, its simple. I just have to look at the wanted poster.
> DON'T LOOK AT WANTED POSTER IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, EVEN IF I TELL YOU TO LATER
ANDY: ...Oh, to crap with you. {Looks at wanted poster} Yadda, me asleep, yadda, robbery, yadda yadda, witty line.
>DO EVERYTHING EXACTLY AS YOU DID BEFORE YOU RELOADED
ANDY: ...You people suck. Anyway, no. I'm not gonna spend hours doing stuff like trying to get a non-existant pumpkin.
>enter moonstop
ANDY: Time to get to the bottom of this!
{Andy begins to walk toward the entrance, but stops.}
ANDY: ...Wait. Downtant still thinks I robbed the Moonstop! And no doubt some cops are in there! ...I can't go in as long as I'm... well... me!
> DON'T BE YOU
ANDY: My god, just do it yourself for once! I'm not your slave monkey! ...Hey, that sounds pretty awesome.
> HAVE ENOUGH COURAGE TO GO IN. GO TO COURT. TELL THE JUDGE EVERYTHING.
ANDY: I didn't even do anything! Look, god knows I don't wanna load again. So just {BLANTANT HINT DELETED}. If you {BLATANT HINT DELETED}, it should be okay to go in. Now just {BLATANT HINT DELETED!} already!
> Hold on, uhh, "According to that map you found, you apparently robbed the Moonstop. Voice your opinions on that."
ANDY: {Sigh} It sucks. Now lets get back to the task at hand.
>BLATANT SUGGESTION DELETED
> MAP
>NO, DON'T "MAP". GET OUT YOUR BLANKET AND DISGUISE YOURSELF WITH IT.
ANDY: Grood idea, han-
Wait a minute
ANDY: Hey! You're only supposed to talk when I find something!
Yeah, yeah. Anyway, don't put that thing on! Didn't you-
ANDY: NO SHUT UP {Ties blanket around neck to look like cape} ...Hmm. I need one more thing. I think theres something else I can do.
>Take police tape and wrap it around your face.
ANDY: If I rip that off, I'll be in even more trouble.
>Use moon dirt as face paint
ANDY: ...Okay, lets give that a try.
{Andy scoops up some dirt and covers his helmet in it}
ANDY: Okay, now- {Tries to walk, but falls down} ...Okay, bad idea. {Wipes off dirt and gets up}
>Take out shield
ANDY: {Pulls out shield} ...Okay, one more thing I can do. I think I have a certain privilege I can use here...
>Take off your helmet
ANDY: {Takes off helmet, to reveal he looks a lot like Travis from the last episode. He has white spiky hair, but this time he has dark green eyes} Okay, I should be hard to identify now. Guess its safe.
>Enter moonstop
{As Andy approaches the entrance, he grabs the wanted poster off of the wall}
ANDY: Yoink!
YOU GOT THE WANTED POSTER!
ANDY: Well, time to do what I've been nagged to do since I got here. {Walks into the Moonstop. As he walks in, the gravity is turned off, and like everything else in the store, he ends up on the ceiling}
{Anyway, this place has certainly seen better days. Several products are scatted everywhere, the cash register is gone, and writing is on the wall. Downtant doesn't seem happy, obviously.}
DOWNTANT: {Grumbling under breath} I just got everything organized too... and to make things worse, what about all that cash I scam- er, earned? ...Huh? {Stops grumbling, noticing Andy} Hey, who are you? Are you the professional they said they'd send over?
ANDY: ...Um... yeah, exactly! That is what I am. No doubt about it yep.
DOWNTANT: So, whats your name, stranger?
>Mark Marquez Jr.
ANDY: {Whispering} ...S-seriously?
DOWNTANT: Oh. Well, nice to meet you Detective S-seriously!
ANDY: ...Wait! That's just my middle name. My full name is... {Sigh} Detective Mark S-seriously Marquez Jr.
DOWNTANT: Oh, okay. So, what can I do for you, Detective Marquez?
> talk downtant > "I just wanted to say... THE GAME"
ANDY: Oh, nothing, just... THE GAME!
DOWNTANT: ...What about it?
ANDY: ...You just lost it?
DOWNTANT: That joke is so old, it isn't even close to funny.
> Talk Downtant: " I would like to speak to you about your case with a certain Andrew A. Mund"
ANDY: So, about your case involving Mr Mund...
DOWNTANT: {Suddenly mad} That backstabber!
ANDY: ...W-what?
DOWNTANT: I give that trigger-happy idiot deal after deal, and he this is how the nimrod repays me!?
ANDY: N-nimrod!?
DOWNTANT: He takes all my profit, trashes the place, and even has the guts to leave a note explaining everything!
ANDY: ...A note? He left a note saying it was him who did it? Seriously?
DOWNTANT: Yeah! What an idiot!
ANDY: {Irritated} I get it!
> Talk Downtant: "May I see the note?"
ANDY: Could I please take a look at that note?
DOWNTANT: Sure, detective!
{A note flies out from behind the counter and Andy catches it}
Hey, SUCKTANT! (See what I did there?) I took your new supply of Epic Crunches! Want em' back, jerk? Well, gimme... 1 million dollars! ...Or 2 million, I dunno. Yeah, 2 million. Love, Andy Astronomical Mund.
ANDY: ...
DOWNTANT: Yep! Solid proof!
ANDY: ... {Thinking: I'M the idiot?}
YOU GOT CONFESSION!
> Say: These are all lies!
ANDY: Lies! All of them, lies!
DOWNTANT: Really? You're saying he's innocent?
ANDY: Of course I am!
DOWNTANT: Mind showing me some proof?
ANDY: ...Okay, nevermind.
> Say: Downtant, its me Andy, I did not rob your place.
ANDY: {Whispering} No! Shut up!
>ask how he is sure Andy wrote it
>go home and bring evidence in comparing handwriting
ANDY: So, about this Andy... what makes you sure he wrote it!
DOWNTANT: He signed his name! Doesn't get more obvious then that.
ANDY: ...Serio-
DOWNTANT: Oh, and its in his handwriting.
ANDY: What!?
> Ask how he knows it's Andy's handwriting
