Other Character Email 1-Up/132

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

"Whoever did this shall pay dearly for what they've done! But first--"

1-Up Email #132

1-Up makes an attempt to answer an email, but gets easily distracted by a mere spelling error. As he excitedly runs off to tell Pan Pan, Stinkoman answers the email instead.

Cast (in order of appearance): 1-Up, Stinkoman, Pan Pan, "Foxsuke"

Places: 1-Up's Computer Room, Behind Stinkoman HQ

Computer: Holly 6000

Date: 4th March, 2010

Transcript

{Open up to 1-Up sitting in front of his holigraphic computer.}

1-UP: Hmm... La-la-la-la, email! {slams face against keyboard and email appears}

1-Up?
How good of a marksman are you?
I need you help to defeat Lord T and his gang.
Meet me behind Stinkoman's house to plan.
In need of help,
Foxsuke

1-UP: {reading the email aloud to himself} 1-Up? How good of a marksman are you? I need you help... you help? I need YOU help?! Wait-- huh?!

{1-Up's eyes widen in surprise at the minor spelling error.}

1-UP: You have just blown my mind. And that doesn't happen very often.

{Cut to a flashback of 1-Up standing in front of a lamp. He leans forward and turns on the lamp with his lack of hands and jumps back in surprise of the sudden presence of light.}

1-UP: {genuinely impressed} WOOOAH!

{Cut back to 1-Up at his computer.}

1-UP: This is perfect! I mean, "YOU help"?! I gotta show Pan Pan! {giggles} Stay right there, email!

{Camera zooms out. 1-Up runs off to the left of the screen and leaves. Stinkoman walks onscreen from the right about a second later.}

STINKOMAN: {calling out} 1-Up! Oh, 1-Up! Come on, man! I'm in the mood for a chaaa-llenge. Let me hold you down again and beat you with this giant hammer.

{Stinkoman pulls out a giant hammer from the offscreen area that he just walked in from and slams it against the ground in order to show off its power.}

STINKOMAN: HUBBLAH-HAH!

{The screen shakes slightly and it leaves a crater in the floor. Stinkoman then turns to the computer with 1-Up's email on it.}

STINKOMAN: What is this? Words? These words mean nothing to me! {reads quietly, mumbling for a while, before jumping in shock} Wuh-WAH?! What is this?! A challenge behind my hoouse? Alright. {sits down, typing} Dear Fox-guy. You need I help to defeat Lord T? Me will help you! Though it won't come cheap, and I'll charge you extra if it's not that great of a cha-llenge!

{Stinkoman flips off of the chair and flies offscreen. A smash is heard, implying he jumped out a window. 1-Up walks back onscreen with Pan Pan.}

1-UP: {as if continuing from a previous conversation} ...I'm serious. There is no way I could not possibly be serious! Check this out!

{1-Up turns away from Pan Pan and towards the Holly 6000.}

1-UP: What the? {gasps} Someone answered this email for me! I was supposed to answer this email myself...

{The camera zooms in on 1-Up's face. The background briefly turns into transparent flames.}

1-UP: Whoever did this shall pay dearly for what they've done! But first--

{Zooms out. Flames dissapear.}

1-UP: {excited} Pudding!

{1-Up runs off excitedly, but Pan Pan grabs him, lowering his eyelids in seriousness, picking him up off the ground with his paw so he can't go anywhere, but 1-Up resumes his running animation.}

1-UP: Huh? What's going on-- {turns to Pan Pan} Aww... no pudding?

PAN PAN: {shakes head}

1-UP: Well then... urm... let's-- let's head down to "behind Stinkoman's house"... wherever that is.

{Pan Pan rolls his eyes and bounces offscreen, still with 1-Up in his grasp. Cut to behind Stinkoman's house, in which Stinkoman sees 1-Up and Pan Pan standing there.}

STINKOMAN: {gasps, as camera dramatically zooms in on his face}

1-UP: {also gasps, with dramatic zoom in}

{The camera zooms in on Pan Pan also, but in the process, the camera hits him the face and he falls over. Zoom out again.}

STINKOMAN: So, you're Foxsuke?! Of course! I should've known you couldn't take on a challenge yourself!

1-UP: What? No. I'm not Foxsuke... {gasps} Are YOU Lord T?

PAN PAN: {face palm} {Badalang, badalang, badalang, badalang.}

{Subtitles appear at the bottom the screen during Pan Pan's speech. Subtitles read; "You two are idiots. Did either of you actually read the email thoroughly?"}

1-UP: You're right, Pan Pan! The email said to defeat Lord T and this guy must be Lord T!

STINKOMAN: Whaaaaat are you talking about?

1-UP: {gasps} Maybe this was a trap! {bends down to knees} Oh, please! Don't hurt me! I only wanted to answer my emails!

STINKOMAN: I'm not Lord T! And if you're not Foxsuke... then YOU must be Lord T!

1-UP: I'm not Lord T!

STINKOMAN: Then who is?!

{1-Up, without no explanation, randomly starts screaming and running towards Stinkoman. The camera zooms in on him and blurs in motion. 1-Up spins around with his foot out attempting to kick Stinkoman. Stinkoman grabs 1-Up's foot dramatically fast. There is a sketch-freeze briefly shown. Unfreeze as the camera zooms in on Stinkoman's face. The normal cartoonish style has changed to more dramatic manga look. His eyes are very serious. The camera then zooms out showing the characters in their original styles again, now just punching each other at complete random. Pan Pan bounces towards them and holds them away from each other, breaking up the fight.}

STINKOMAN: Why did you attack me?

1-UP: I don't like being accussed of things!

{A fox-like being walks onscreen, but you can only see the back of his head.}

FOXSUKE: What is going on here?

{The camera angle changing revealing more of the humanoid fox. He's holding a can of soda and boredly sips from it.}

1-UP: WAAAH! Stinkoman was being mean and acussing me of being someone who I wasn't, then we got into a fight, and then... and then-- {brief pause, blinks akwardly} Urm, who are you exactly?

FOXSUKE: Me? I'm Foxsuke.

STINKOMAN: Ah! So, you're the person I was meant to see.

FOXSUKE: What're you talking about?

1-UP: I got an email from you and you asked for help, and I'd never been on an adventure before... and I wanted to be just like the guy. And, and, and--

FOXSUKE: {holds up index finger to silence him} 1-Up, I sent that email over two years ago.

{1-Up and Stinkoman stare blankly at Foxsuke, they blink a few times. In pixelated text, a "..." appears onscreen.}

1-UP AND STINKOMAN: WHAT?!!

FOXSUKE: Yeah, we managed to solve the problem without you. You can go ahead and delete that email, it wasn't as urgent as we'd initially thought.

1-UP: Well, can you tell me exactly what a "mark-ed-man" is?

FOXSUKE: You mean a marksman?

1-UP: Yeah, that guy! What is it?

FOXSUKE: A person who is skilled in precision shooting using projectile weapons like sniper rifl--

{Stinkoman laughs out loud, immediately interrupting anything further Foxsuke had to say.}

STINKOMAN: You think 1-Up would be a good sniper? Ha ha ha ha! That's so dumb! Ha ha ha ha! Dumb!

{Stinkoman walks off casually, still laughing his head off. Cut back to 1-Up sitting in front of the Holly 6000, finishing off his email.}

1-UP: {typing} I've learnt something today. I haven't really paid much attention to any of the emails I've answered. I usually go off topic and say the weirdest things.

STINKOMAN: {voice only} So, you're gonna stop doing that?

1-UP: Stop doing what? {gasps} I want pudding again!

{1-Up rushes offscreen. Holigraphic, flickering text is displayed on the bottom of the Holly 6000's screen which says...}

Fun Facts

Explanations

• The sketch-freeze is done in the same style of that shown in the toon, Under Construction.
• 1-Up getting distracted and not answering his email to focus more on the overall plotline of his email show was a common thing in the older 1-Up emails.
• Foxsuke and Lord T are both characters made by wiki user, Cyrus. Whether or not I presented his characters accurately is uncertain.
• The dramatic fight scene contains references to School Rumble, which in itself references Dragon Ball Z with the way details in manga are always over-exaggerated in fight scenes.
• The anti-climatic ending with Foxsuke explaining that he'd sent the email years ago was a reference to "the purge".

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