The Real World Adventures of Homestar Runner
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
NOTICE: This contains some really mild references to "The Bird," So don't get your undies in a jumble over it.
Homestar Runner finds a "cwack" in his website that leads him to the real world! Now he has to find his way back with the help of none other than the Chapman brothers themselves, but they have to hurry because strange things are happening due to Homestar's absence from his site. Will they get Homestar back in time? Will TBC be able to put up with the annoying webtoon character of their creation?? Will Strongbad eat Homestar's sandwich??? READ AND FIND OUT!
For an easier to read version (but without any pictures or illustrations), see this story on my my fanfiction.net page
Don't like reading? See the COMIC STRIP VERSION In progress
Chapter 1: There's a crack in my webpage!
One fine day in Free Country USA, Homestar Runner decided to pay a visit to Marzipan. He packed up some veggie burger sandwiches for lunch, and began jogging to Marzipan’s house. It was not long before the first plot complication arrived in the form of The Cheat and Strong Bad.
The Cheat and Strong Bad had been hanging out at the stick, preparing to light up Strong Sad’s favorite blue underwear when they spotted Homestar.
“Hey, The Cheat, lets get those sandwiches from Homestar. Stealing that can of Gasoline from Bubs’ Concession Stand has worked up my appetite.”
The Cheat enthusiastically agreed in cheatish, and the two ran off to find a hiding place from which to ambush Homestar.
Moments later, Homestar’s journey was rudely interrupted when Strong Bad and the Cheat leaped out of hiding wearing ski masks.
“Okay, dorkstar, hand us over the sandwiches and nobody gets hurt.” Strong Bad threatened.
“Oh, hi Stwong Bad.” Homestar said.
“I’m not Strong Bad… I’m… uh… um…” The Cheat whispered something to Strongbad, then Strong Bad continued, “I’m Biscuit Dough Hands Man! I’m gonna get you if you don’t hand over those sandwiches.”
“Well, these sandwiches are fow me and Mawzipan. I can’t give you these ones.” Homestar started to walk away, but The Cheat jumped in front of him and yammered at him in cheatish.
“Yeah, you gotta pay the toll before you leave.” Strong Bad agreed. “Cough it up, crap for brains.”
“And why should I?” Homestar demanded.
“Cuz it’s a toll. You have to pay a toll, or you like, get put in jail.” Strong Bad replied.
“Okay, hewe, you can have a dollaw fifty. That’s all I got.” Homestar produced some change and gave it to The Cheat.
“I guess that’ll do. For now. Come on, The Cheat… lets go get some candy bars.” Strong Bad and The Cheat ran off toward Bubs’ Concession Stand.
Homestar continued on until he finally reached Marzipan’s house. He walked up the door and knocked. “Mawzipan! I made us some sandwiches.” Homestar called, but even after he waited there was no reply. “Mawzipan?” Homestar walked over to a window and looked in, but there was no sign of Marzipan. “That’s odd. Where’s Mawzipan?”
Homestar headed to the King of Town to ask if he’d seen Marzipan. He saw the King of Town talking to Coach Z about something interesting he had eaten the other day outside of the castle. “Hello, guys. Have you seen Mawzipan?”
“No… but I see you have brought me tribute in the form of two delicious sandwiches!” The King of Town eyed up Homestar’s sandwiches hungrily.
“Oh, no these are fow me and Mawzipan. Have you seen her at all, Coach Z?”
“Norp. Did you see if she’s ort playing cards with Strong Sad?” Suggested Coach Z.
“Hey, good idea! Thanks guys.” Homestar went to see Strong Sad next. He found him at the stick, rescuing his blue underwear from a pile of kindling.
“Homestar, do these smell like gasoline to you?” Strong Sad wondered, holding out his blue underwear.
“Ew, I’m not smelling your undewweaw. Have you seen Mawzipan?” Homestar inquired.
“No… Marzipan and I play bridge on Wednesdays. Today Homsar and I were supposed to be playing battleship, but when I noticed my blue underwear were missing-”
“Okay, thanks Stwong Sad.” Homestar interrupted, dashing off to find someone else to ask.
Homestar ran to Bubs, the Poopsmith, and Pom Pom, but none of them had seen Marzipan either. In a final act of desperation, Homestar went to find Strong Bad to ask for help. He arrived at Strong Bad’s couch, panting and distressed. “Stwong Bad! You have to help me find Mawzipan! I can’t find hew anywhewe!” He said between breaths.
Strong Bad was watching TV and eating a candy bar with The Cheat sitting next to him. “Can’t you see I’m watching something? Go find her yourself.” Strong Bad took another bite of his candy bar.
“But- but- I made hew this sandwich-”
“Oh. Tell you what, you leave your sandwiches here with me and The Cheat, and we will keep an eye on them until you find Marzipan.” Strong bad offered.
“Gee, thanks Stwong Bad! What a pal. I bettew go find Mawzipan now. Hewe are the sandwiches.” Homestar dropped the sandwiches on the couch next to Strong Bad.
“Take your time.” Strong Bad and The Cheat exchanged glances and laughed evilly as Homestar left to continue his search.
Homestar wandered far and wide looking for Marzipan until he ended up completely lost. “Which way should I go…” Homestar pondered, looking in every direction, but the green cartoon-ish hills all looked the same. He randomly chose a direction and continued walking, but he only ended up more lost, and it was starting to get dark. He was just getting worried when he spotted something on the side of a nearby hill. It was a vertical, pixelated line that seemed to start just above the ground.
“What in the name of Michael Cwichton is going on hewe?” Homestar wondered. He inspected the strange line. “It looks like thewe is a cwack in my web page.” Homestar noted. He kicked his foot at the line, and his foot disappeared for a moment. “Weiwd!” Homestar walked toward the line, and suddenly he disappeared from view.
Chapter 2: Can you direct me to the nearest inter-dimensional crack?
“I don’t think Mawzipan is awound hewe. Now whewe is the emewgency exit?” Homestar was standing in a vast white space that was cluttered with little tan boxes. Ahead of him was a shimmering, colorful wall. He could see no trace of the strange pixelated crack that had brought him there, so he made for the wall.
“This seems like a good place fow an emewgency exit.” Homestar examined the colorful wall. Then he gave it a good swift kick. The vast space turned black, and the boxes and wall disappeared. There was a shattering, crunching sound, accompanied by Homestar’s surprised exclamation of “Whoops!” This time Homestar tumbled forward, smacking into something before hitting the ground.
He sat up, blinking his eyes against a hazy stream of sunlight. “I could go fow a sandwich wight about now.” Homestar said dazedly. Once his head cleared from getting bonked around, he looked over the room he had ended up in. “It just keeps getting weiwder and weiwder!” He remarked. He appeared to be in an office. A computer with a broken screen sat nearby on a desk. Light was streaming into the room through some cracked blinds on the room’s single window. The chair Homestar had crashed into was now shoved into a file cabinet in the corner. “I’m not in Fwee Countwy anymowe…” He observed in awe.
Homestar opened the office door and went out into a hallway. He walked past several other offices, but most of them were closed. Then he came across an open door, and inside was a man sitting at his desk sipping a cup of coffee.
“Excuse me, siw, could you diwect me to the neawest intew-dimensional cwack?” Homestar asked politely. The man looked up at Homestar and dropped his coffee mug in surprise, spilling the drink all over his desk. He stood up quickly before the coffee could run off the desk into his lap.
“I’ll never drink coffee with my allergy medication ever again!” The man exclaimed, and he darted out of the room, leaving Homestar quite bewildered.
“What’s his pwoblem?” Homestar wondered as he left the vacant office. He was about to continue on down the hall when he heard a door creak open behind him. It was a guy in a striped polo shirt, and he looked friendlier and less likely to run away than the last person. In fact, he seemed to recognize Homestar.
“Hello, stwange man fwom an altewnating weality. Could you diwect me to the neawest intew-dimensional cwack?” Homestar asked again.
The guy laughed uncertainly. “Well, I can’t say I’ve ever seen an inter-dimensional crack before. But you’re Homestar Runner, right? I love your website, dude.”
“Yeah. It is pwetty cool. Just like me. I’m pwetty cool too. So, you haven’t seen any intew-dimensional cwacks?”
“Not a one. Maybe I can help you look, though. I just got off work. My name is Matt, by the way.”
“I’m Homestaw Wunno.” said Homestar.
“Yeah, you most definitely are. So tell me something, Homestar; how did you get here?” Matt inquired.
“It all stawted when I went looking fow Mawzipan. Then I found a weiwd cwack in my website. It took me to a woom full of boxes. When I accidentally bwoke the wall, I got hewe.”
“Okay… Well, that’s a start I guess. Maybe you’d better show me exactly where you were when you first got here.”
“Wight this way.” Homestar led Matt to the office where he had fallen out of the wall.
“Huh. It almost looks like you came right through the computer screen. I didn’t think that was possible...” Matt said, inspecting the ruined computer monitor.
“Yeah. Computews can be pwetty weiwd.”
“But stuff isn’t supposed to work that way here.” Matt explained.
“Oh. I see.” Homestar said, completely confused.
“It looks like there’s only one thing you can do.” Matt said finally.
“Get some light globes?” Homestar guessed.
“Uh, no. You need to go see this guy.” Matt pulled a business card out of his pocket and handed it to Homestar. “He’s kind of eccentric, but he might be able to help you out.”
“That’s okay. I like circles.” Homestar replied.
“What? I said eccentric, not concentric. He’s real good with computers and stuff.” Matt pointed to the writing on the business card.
“Evewybody’s a little ecclesiastic sometimes.” Homestar commented, failing badly at sounding like he knew what he was talking about.
Matt sighed, giving up on the topic. “Okay, you’ll have to put on some kind of disguise before we go. You can’t walk around as you are because it will attract too much attention. I think there might be something that will work in the lounge… follow me.”
“A disguise! How adventuwous.” Homestar remarked as Matt led him to the employee lounge.
Chapter 3: A brilliant disguise
“It smells like Coach Z’s lockowoom in hewe.” Homestar observed. Matt and Homestar stood in the employee lounge, a large room mainly filled with worn out, stained chairs and couches. One corner of the room had a kitchenette consisting of a microwave and a full size fridge. Matt walked over to a box marked “Lost and Found” while Homestar explored the kitchenette.
“You can always count on people to lose useful things.” Matt declared, rummaging through a mound of clothing and other forgotten objects. He began pulling out stuff and putting together an outfit for Homestar.
“Hey, Matt… hows about this bwilliant disguise?” Homestar walked over from the kitchenette wearing a garbage bag with a hole through it.
“Yeah… uh Homestar if you wear that I think you’ll get dragged off to the nut house.” Matt got up and took away the garbage bag.
“Why would they take me to a nut factowy?” Homestar wondered.
“Huh?” Matt looked blankly at Homestar.
“What kind of nuts do they make thewe? Peanuts, Pistachios, Pomegwanites…” Homestar continued.
“Oh… the bad kind. You know… here try this shirt on.” Matt quickly changed the subject. “And put these pants on too.”
“I have pants on! I’m weawing pants!” Homestar babbled angrily.
“I know you have pants. Put these on though. They’re part of the disguise.”
Homestar glared suspiciously at Matt, then walked into the closet to change. Moments later he came out wearing a black Led Zeppelin shirt and a pair of jogging pants. “Am I convincible?” Homestar asked.
“You need a hat or something. Lets see… here, put this on.” Matt pulled out a camouflage bandana skullcap and tossed it to Homestar, who hesitantly replaced his propeller hat and hid it in his shirt. “Perfect! Sort of… it will have to do anyway. Let’s go.”
Homestar followed Matt to the elevator. “Just call me cool guy.” Homestar said suddenly. Matt turned around and saw Homestar wearing a pair of sunglasses from the lost and found box. Matt rolled his eyes and turned back to face the opening elevator door.
They bravely rode the elevator to the ground floor of the office building, but the real test was soon upon them. The elevator doors opened with a hum, and Matt and Homestar stepped out into the bustling lobby. For the most part people ignored them, but they still received a few stares.
“Hello, lady!” Homestar greeted a spiffed up businesswoman who was gaping at them.
“Homestar, that isn’t helping. Just keep walking and don’t make eye contact with anyone.” Matt instructed.
“Check.” Homestar shifted his attention to the ceiling.
“Okay, we made it to the main doors… Homestar! Watch out-” Matt tried to warn him, but Homestar collided with the large glass panel window that was between the doors.
“Oh look. A window.”
“Yep. Here’s the door. Don’t run into it.” Matt left the building with Homestar following behind.
Homestar walked with Matt around the side of the office building to find Matt’s car in the parking lot. He happily strode up to a BMW convertible parked near the entrance and remarked, “Nothing like a cool cawr fow a cool guy.”
“That’s not my car, Homestar. That’s the CEO’s car.” Matt explained.
“Oh. Whewe is your caw?” Homestar wondered.
“It’s in the back row. That one on the end.” Matt pointed to a squat, maroon commuter car with a bent hood.
Homestar stared. “Youw kidding wight?”
“Unfortunately I’m not.” Matt mumbled as he flipped through his keys.
“Sooo… can I dwive?” Homestar asked while waiting for Matt to unlock the door.
“I don’t think you know how, Homestar.” Matt replied.
“Of couwse I do.” Homestar argued.
“Trust me. We’ll get there much faster… and in one piece… if I drive.”
They got in Matt’s junker and drove out of the lot to head downtown. Homestar stared out the windows and marveled at the sights and sounds of the city until they arrived at another office building.
“Thewe’s just one thing I don’t undewstand about all this.” Homestar stated as Matt parked the car.
“What is that?” Matt inquired.
“Whewe in the heck is Mawzipan! Sewiously… I looked fow her evewywhere.”
“I’m sure you’ll find Marzipan once we get you back to your web site. You always do.”
“Yeah. I guess your pwobably wight.”
Chapter 4: Meanwhile...
EARLIER THAT DAY… BACK IN FREE COUNTRY…
“I BROKE THE STIIICK!” Strong Mad shouted. He held up a rake that had been snapped in two.
“That’s okay, Strong Mad. You did a wonderful job helping me with my garden today. Let’s call it quits.” Marzipan suggested. She and Strong Mad had been weeding the garden behind Marzipan’s house all morning.
Strong Mad departed happily, throwing aside the snapped rake. Marzipan retrieved the rake and took it over to the garbage. “That’s the third rake this week.” She commented. Then she paused. “Well that’s strange. I haven’t seen Homestar around. Usually he is out here pestering me by this time of day. I hope he didn’t get himself knocked unconscious again, or fall into a hole, or stick a fork in an electrical outlet (no wait, he hasn’t done that yet), or get sick on marshmallows…” Marzipan walked away, still listing stupid things Homestar had done in the past.
Fifteen minutes later, Marzipan arrived at Strong Bad’s place. Strong Bad was still sitting on the couch, but now seated next to him was Strong Mad. Strong Bad was just starting to sneakily chow down on a suspiciously familiar sandwich, but when he saw Marzipan he hastily tucked the sandwich behind his back. “Oh, uh, hey Marzipan. I think Homestar was looking for you.” Strong Bad said.
“He was? When was that?” Marzipan wondered.
“I don’t know… a couple of shows ago. Then he wandered off and must’ve found something else to do cuz he hasn’t been back to get his sandwi- er, I mean I haven’t seen him since.” Just then a slice of tomato decided to fall out of the sandwich onto the couch.
“Is that a veggie burger?” Marzipan asked suspiciously.
“Erm, no… it’s a tomato sandwich burger… that is now tomato-less.” Strong Bad fibbed.
“YOU STOLE MARZIPAN’S BURGER!!!” Yelled Strong Mad.
“I did not! Waitaminute… how did you… who did you… THE CHEAT!” Strong Bad dropped the sandwich on the couch and shook his fist at The Cheat, who was peering out from behind the couch. He didn’t have time to give The Cheat a proper kicking, though, because Strong Mad leapt up from the couch and started going after Strong Bad, yelling “YOU STOLE SANDWICH!”
Marzipan quietly left the room. Behind her, Strong Bad was pleading with The Cheat. “I’m sorry, okay! Ouch! I just didn’t think you could finish- ouch! -that entire sandwich anyway!”
Next, Marzipan visited Strong Sad. He was playing battleship with Homsar in his room.
“Queen to B-45,” said Homsar.
“Homsar, it only goes up to twelve,” Strong Sad pointed out. “Oh, hello Marzipan.”
“Hi Strong Sad. Have you seen Homestar anywhere today?” Marzipan inquired.
“AaAaAaAaA, I won the blue starch panda!” Homsar replied unintelligibly.
“Actually, I saw him this morning over by the stick looking for you, and then later I saw him wandering off in that direction.” Strong Sad pointed. “I don’t know why, because there really isn’t anything out that way… of course there was that one time when I went for a walk because these kids at school-”
“When did you see him over there?” Marzipan interrupted.
“I guess it was a few hours ago.” Strong Sad recalled.
“Well he can get himself out of trouble this time. I’m not going after him every time he does something stupid. I’m a busy person. Thanks Strong Sad.” Marzipan left the room.
Chapter 5: The concentric computer guy
“Didn’t we just leave this place?” Homestar asked. Matt and Homestar had paused outside the office building for Matt to make a phone call.
“Nope. Just another office building. They do all look a bit similar.” Matt explained as he dialed his cell phone.
“Whoa, look at all the ants! Thewes a whole ton of them… look at ‘em, cwawling all over the place… the ants go mawching one by six, huwwah... huwwah…” Homestar started singing.
“Hey, it’s me, Matt. A mutual friend of ours is in need of assistance. You want to meet us somewhere? Okay… You get off work then? Sure…” Matt stuck his finger in his ear so he could hear over Homestar’s singing.
“And the little one stopped to… um… get some melonade! And they all went mawching down…”
“All right, we’ll be there in a bit. See ya.” Matt flipped the phone closed. “Okay, Homestar. Lets go.”
Homestar, however, didn’t seem to hear him. He was busy singing and marching in place in front of a gathering crowd. “One more time! Oh, the ants go mawching thwee by two…”
Matt reached over and grabbed Homestar by the shirt, pulling him toward the building. More than a few sets of gawking eyes watched them depart.
“Hey, I wasn’t done yet!” Homestar complained.
“We’re here to send you back to your website, remember?” Matt patiently reminded him.
“Yeah, yeah. But I didn’t even get to the good pawt.”
“What part is that?” Matt inquired.
“The one with me in it.” Homestar said matter-of-factly.
“I don’t think that’s part of the song.” Matt replied.
“Oh. Well let’s go see this guy you was a speakin’ of then.” Homestar said, walking dutifully toward the office building. Then he stopped abruptly, staring at the doors. “What is this business?”
“Revolving doors.” Matt explained. “You just walk in and follow the door through to the other side.”
“Whee!” Homestar hopped into a compartment and started running around in circles.
“Yeah. The general idea is to get out on the other side though… Homestar… uh, buddy, you’re gonna get sick if you keep doing that.” Matt watched helplessly as Homestar went round and round. He waited for several minutes, checking his watch anxiously.
“Matt, this wide is awesome! You should twy it.” Homestar called from within the spinning compartment.
“Homestar, we gotta get moving, man. You gotta get out now.” Matt attempted to coax Homestar out of the revolving door, but to no avail. A few moments later, he disappeared around the corner of the building.
“One hundwed fifty seven, one hundwed fifty eight… hey, whewe’d Matt go?” Homestar wondered. Then he spotted Matt rounding the corner, this time carrying a rock.
“Hey, Matt… how do you stop this thing! What are you doing with that wock?”
“Sorry, Homestar… but I’d rather not lose a hand in there. Get ready for it…” Matt set the rock on the ground and nudged it forward with his foot.
“Get weady fow what? I- mph!” The rock brought the revolving door to a jarring halt, and Homestar was mashed against the side of the compartment. Then Matt kicked the stone out of place, and the door gently swung open to the lobby where Homestar toppled face first out of the compartment onto the polished stone floor.
Matt hurried in and helped Homestar to his feet. “You all right?”
“I’ll have one fluffy puff melonade, please…” Homestar mumbled.
“Matt! There you are, man!” A guy came walking briskly across the lobby toward them carrying a laptop. “What happened? Jeez, what is he doing here?” The man exclaimed, finally taking notice of Homestar.
“Well, good old Homestar got stuck in the revolving door. I had to get him out by jamming a rock in there. I think he got whacked pretty good though.” Matt grabbed Homestar’s shirt to keep him from tipping over. “The rest, I’m not even sure of myself.”
“Which one of yous thwee is the concentwic computew man?” Homestar asked, his speech slightly slurred.
“Good one, Matt.” The laptop guy scolded.
“Hey, what was I supposed to do!” Matt protested.
“Has you seen Mawzipan anywhewe? Oh, I don’t feel so good.” Homestar’s knees buckled, and he was then being held up tentatively by Matt’s grasp on his shirt.
“Let’s get him to that bench. He must’ve been going pretty fast.” The laptop guy grabbed Homestar’s legs and helped prop him up on the nearby bench.
“Faster than nobody’s business! Ohhh… I think I’ll take a nap.” Homestar murmured, and he flopped over sideways.
“So, let’s hear the story behind all this.” The laptop guy proposed.
“All I know for sure is that I ran into him when I got off work. He was wandering around in the hallway. You’d really have to ask him to find out more.” Matt thumbed in the direction of the slumbering Homestar. “But I checked out the room he said he got here in… and it sure looks like he came right out of the computer somehow. Poor guy just wants to get home, and I don’t have a clue where to begin. What do you think, Mike?”
“I think we need to get back to that office. And we need to revive him. What’s with the outfit?” Mike wondered.
“Lost and found. I figured he better not walk around in traditional… we don’t need to attract any more attention.”
“I think you’re managing to attract plenty anyway…” Mike nodded toward a group of people who were loitering nearby, stealing curious glances at the three of them.
“Since we’re leaving anyway, maybe we should get him through the doors before we wake him up.” Matt suggested.
Chapter 6: No email this week...
MEANWHILE, IN FREE COUNTRY…
Strong Bad sauntered up to his computer and took a seat on the stool. “Checkin checkin checkin da email… check… lets see… what the-!” He typed away at the keyboard, but the screen remained blank. “The Cheat! Get over here and fix the Lappy! I gots emails to check!” Strong Bad called.
The Cheat came speeding in and started babbling desperately in cheatish, waving his arms and hopping around.
“What do you mean none of the computers are working?!” Strong Bad exclaimed. “Uh oh, this doesn’t mean another virus, does it?”
Suddenly the lights flickered and went out. There was a crash, and Strong Mad yelled from another room, “STRONG MAD CAN’T SEE!!”
“This doesn’t look good.” Strong Bad remarked from somewhere in the darkness. The Cheat agreed. A few minutes later, The Brothers Strong and The Cheat managed to navigate their way outside to the stick, where the residents of Free Country had gathered in the wake of the outage. The darkening sky didn’t help their situation any.
“This outage better not last long… I have a roast in the oven!” The King of Town lamented.
“How’s a guy s’posed to run a business without any power!” Bubs added.
“I was jorst gettin ready to make a TV dinnor.” Coach Z remarked.
“AaAaAaA I left my legs in the closet tree!” Homsar babbled.
“Hey, where’s dorkstar?” Inquired Strong Bad. The question was met with silence.
“Oh, this is all my fault! I should have gone looking for Homestar after all. Now something bad has happened…” Marzipan finally said.
“What should we do?” Strong Sad wondered.
“I have an idea… lets build a big bonfire with all of Strong Sad’s crappy writing. We should be able to light all of Free Country for a month!” Strong Bad cheerfully suggested.
“Now wait a minute-” Strong Sad started to protest, but Marzipan interrupted him.
“I have some wood we can use in my woodpile. A fire is exactly what we need until the power comes back. Strong Mad, come help me get the firewood.” With that, Strong Mad and Marzipan departed from the bewildered gathering.
“Anyone up for a game of poker?” Bubs suggested.
“You’re on, Bubs-man!” Strong Bad replied. There was a murmur of agreement, and Bubs whipped out a stack of poker chips and began handing them out.
“No eatin’ the poker chips this time, Kingy.” Bubs warned the KoT.
“I could’ve sworn they were dark colored Necco Wafers…” The KoT responded defensively.
Chapter 7: Buzzy lightning bolts
“Oh, man. That was a weird nap.” Homestar sat up and looked around. He was no longer in the lobby of the other office building. Matt and Mike had brought him back to the room with the broken computer and stuck him in a corner. They were currently examining the busted computer.
“Hey, you’re the eccentric computer guy!” Homestar noted. Then he paused. “Computer. Comput-ER. What the heck!” Mike and Matt turned to face Homestar. “What is it?” Matt asked.
“I must be having a nightmare! Wake up! Wake up!” Homestar started banging his head against the wall.
“Hey, he’s pronouncing his ‘R’s…” Mike noticed. “Dude, I think you hit him harder than previously thought.”
“Is it working? ComputER … Gahhh! I’m ruined!” Homestar collapsed on the floor and started rolling around sobbing.
“Homestar, relax. It’s probably just a side affect of being displaced. It should go away when you get back to your site.” Matt said calmly.
“Are you sure?” Homestar asked, wincing at the sound of his impediment-free voice.
“There’s only one way to find out. We have to get you back.” Matt replied.
“And as soon as possible...but to do that, you’ll have to tell me exactly what happened. Don’t leave out any details.” Mike added.
“Right. Well, it all started when I entered the Strongest Man in the World competition…”
“Uh, you don’t have to go that far back, Homestar.” Matt explained. “Just tell us what happened today.”
“Well, I met you in that office over there, and I got stuck in the spinning door…”
“BEFORE you met us… start with this morning.” Mike suggested.
“Ohhh, well why didn’t you say so. There I was, making sandwiches for me and Marzipan, but when I got to Marzipan’s house no one was there. So I looked everywhere for her, but I still couldn’t find her.” Homestar paused. “Is that what you meant?”
“YES, keep going!” Matt and Mike said in unison.
About an hour later…
“Okay, I think we finally get the picture.” Mike said, stretching his cramped legs. “We’re going to have to repair this computer. And quickly. I don't know what other side effects this situation might create for you; plus, who knows what is happening back on the site.”
"Yeah when we checked, it wasn't working." Matt added.
Homestar stared blankly. "Soo.. what you're saying is..."
"We gotta get you back before something real bad happens." Matt simplified.
“Like what?” Homestar wondered.
Mike glanced at Matt and was met with a clueless shrug. He turned back to Homestar. “We don’t really know what to expect from this.”
“We’re gonna go find some parts… just stay in the room for a while until we get back, okay?” Matt said. Matt and Mike left to scrounge the office building for a computer to dissect for parts, leaving Homestar in the room by himself.
“Really round rocks roll… red rutabagas are riper than radishes…” After a few minutes of repeating an assortment of “R” words, he stood up and blurted in frustration, “I’ll fix you myself, you darn computer box!” With that, he stomped over to the broken computer monitor and grabbed a screwdriver off the floor where one of the Chapman brothers had left it.
“Okay, where does this go… let’s see… oh, here’s a couple screws.” Homestar poked the screwdriver around behind the computer. Suddenly the lights flickered, and Homestar was thrown against the wall. “Ouuuggghhhh… buzzy… lightning bolts…” He muttered before sliding to the floor in a heap.
Chapter 8: First day on your new feet?
A while later, Homestar came to with a terrible headache and a bad case of vertigo. The brothers were still gone, but there was now the distinct smell of burnt plastic emanating from the computer desk, as well as a black scorch mark on the wall. “Oh look, I made the computew box tuwn black…” Then he added with glee, “Hey, I fixed it! My talk is back!” He looked around hopefully as if expecting to see more things return to normal, but nothing else appeared to have changed.
“Oh well. Maybe if I tighten anothew scwew, it’ll fix some mowe stuff.” Homestar grabbed the screwdriver again and headed for the smoking computer.
Just that moment, Matt and Mike walked in with a less mangled version of the smoking, broken computer.
“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?!” Matt almost dropped the computer he was carrying to dart over and snatch the screwdriver away.
“I was scwewdwiving this computew box and it fixed my talking!” Homestar excitedly explained.
Matt narrowed his gaze, then stepped back in surprise. “Jeez! Mike… look what happened to Homestar while we were out!”
“What?” Homestar demanded.
“We’ll still be able to get him back though won’t we?” Mike said after staring for a few seconds.
“WHAT?” Homestar demanded again.
“You…uh…” Matt hesitated.
“Flip me the bird.” Mike said.
“Okay.” Homestar flipped him the finger, and a very three dimensional, human looking hand came into his view. “What in foogoogwas…!”
“Yeah. Don’t mess with the computer anymore. I think you made it worse,” Matt instructed.
“This is really, really creepy.” Mike remarked.
“Youw tellin’ me!” Homestar replied. A pale, lightly built guy in a Led Zeppelin shirt and jogging pants with a camouflage skullcap stared back at him from his reflection in the shiny glass of the monitor that Mike was holding.
“Lets get to work.” Mike said finally, and he set down the computer and started disassembling it. Matt unplugged the torched, shattered, and overall sad remains of the broken computer on the desk and started taking it apart.
Homestar paced around the room, asking “Are you done yet?” about every five minutes on the mark. Finally, Mike caved in to the desire to tell the cartoon-turned-human off.
“That’s it,” he said, slamming his pliers down on the floor. “You ask that one more time, and you’re gonna get this pliers right in the head!” Homestar sat in a chair and started amusing himself more quietly by spinning around. After about ten minutes, he asked, “Are you done y-“
“Homestar, go for a walk. I’m sorry, but I can’t work with you in here asking that every five minutes.” Matt interrupted, catching sight of Mike’s murderous expression.
“Hey, that one was TEN minutes.” Homestar corrected.
“Homestar…” Matt warned.
“Yes siw.” Homestar left the room dejectedly.
“Don’t leave this floor!” Matt called after him.
Homestar was already gone, wandering past offices and through lounges toward the elevator. He walked up and mashed the button, and the door opened with a metallic screech, revealing a man in a brown coat with a briefcase, apparently leaving work for the day. Homestar stumbled into the elevator, tripping over the door gap.
“First day on your new feet?” Joked the man with the briefcase.
“Yeah. My old feet wewe much bettew.” Homestar responded truthfully. “But as soon as Matt and Mike fix my website, I’ll have my old feet back again.”
The man laughed nervously, unsure of how to reply. “Uh, so you getting off work too? You work in the web design department?”
“Oh I don’t wowk hewe. I just came out of the computew scween.”
At this, the man with the briefcase forced a polite smile and moved to the corner of the elevator.
“My name’s Homestaw. Who awe you?” Homestar inquired.
“Uh, Frank.” Frank said, inching over to the button panel. He discreetly pushed the third floor button several more times.
“Oh, I like buttons too!” Homestar said cheerily upon taking notice of Frank’s button pushing. Homestar came over to the button panel and started mashing all of the buttons, much to the horror of poor Frank. “Buttons, buttons, buttons…”
The door slid open on the next floor, and Frank hurriedly escaped the elevator.
“Bye, Fwank!” Homestar waved as the door slid shut.
Chapter 9: Elevator ride
The elevator scraped to a halt, the light blinking erratically on the indicator panel outside. The brushed steel doors slid open with a metallic clamor, and a strangely dressed guy with an unusually pale complexion poked his head out to survey his surroundings with a curious but somewhat dim-witted manner. After a few moments spent staring at a sports illustrated swimsuit calendar hanging nearby in the lounge, the doors began to close again, hitting the guy in the side of the head and forcing him to return to the confines of the elevator car with audible protestation.
“Stupid elevatow!” Homestar remarked, rubbing the side of his head, then looking curiously at his hand for about the fifteenth time in two minutes. “I want my old awms back.”
He waited patiently as the elevator proceeded to stop at every floor all the way to the lobby. Homestar of course didn’t know it was the last floor, so he waited right behind the door to peek out as soon as it opened, as he had been doing on every floor. This time, when the metal doors scraped open he found himself poking his head out into a crowd of annoyed office personnel.
“Did the elevator break, or what?” A businesswoman inquired of the startled elevator passenger that was Homestar.
“Uh…” Homestar stared blankly.
Upon receiving no response to the inquiry, the group filed past Homestar into the elevator and resumed their complaining that had been so rudely interrupted by the arrival of the elevator.
“Jeez, it’s about time… we’ve been waiting for like half an hour!”
“Thank god it’s finally here… I’m gonna be late for the board meeting…”
“I’ve been saying it for years, they need to get another elevator in this building.”
“No kidding. Last week Roy Argeson from accounting got stuck in the elevator with a cart of files for two hours…”
The banter continued, and Homestar stood temporarily overlooked in the corner. But not for long. “So guys, isn’t this wide gweat?” He announced cheerfully.
Multiple heads turned to face him with incredulous stares. Homestar shifted uneasily as silence fell on the conversations like a heavy lourde on Homsar.
“I mean, uh… elevatows… are stupid. Yeah. I got my head smashed in the doow.” Homestar casually remarked. This seemed to somewhat revive the group of office people.
“That explains a lot,” a short, balding man whispered to his co-worker, inciting a wave of sniggering from nearby passengers.
“How on earth did you manage that?” The business woman inquired.
“Well, I was looking out and the doows just stawted sliding closed… ” Homestar began.
“This guy sounds like Homestar,” the bald man’s buddy whispered. Another wave of sniggering ensued, followed by someone asking, “Who’s Homestar?”
This question was loud enough to be overheard by Homestar, who ceased telling his story and replied, “Oh, I am.”
Once again, the heavy lourde of silence fell, stares and all. Then people started laughing. “Yeah, good one. I suppose you get that a lot, huh? You do even look like him a bit, no offence.” The balding man said.
“Well, actually, I’m weawing my staw shiwt undewneath. This is just a disguise.” Homestar tried to explain, inciting more laughter. “I came out of the computew scween, and I couldn’t get back-”
“Oh man, you’re a riot. Nice to meet you, but this is my floor.” The bald guy and his buddy exited the elevator along with most of the other office people, still laughing.
“So long, baldy bean! And… you othew people…” Homestar called as the door slid shut. Just the business woman was left now.
“Hey, don’t mind them. They’re that way to all the new guys.” She assured him.
“Huh?”
“Well, you know they- oh never mind.” The lady shrugged.
“Those were some nice guys.” Homestar remarked.
The woman gave him an odd look, but was silent. Then she asked, “Hey, have you eaten lunch yet?”
“No.”
“Why don’t you come to lunch with me? I was gonna raid the vending machines, but I’d rather grab some hot food, if you’re interested.”
“Okay! I am kinda hungry.”
The lady smiled at his enthusiasm and punched the first floor button. “I’m Laura. I work in Advertising, graphic design. What department are you in?”
Homestar considered this question for a minute, then replied, “Spowting goods.”
Laura smiled again. “I see. You don’t work here then.” The elevator stopped and the doors slid open. Laura started to leave. “Are you coming?”
“Oh, wight.” Homestar stepped out after her.
Chapter 10: Homestar hits the streets
“Matt, I think I found the problem.”
Mike and Matt had disassembled the remains of the fried out computer, and were sorting through a pile of circuit boards, drives, and wires that were strewn across the desk of the unoccupied office.
“What is it?” Matt asked, scooting over to look at the component that Mike was holding up triumphantly.
“This gum wrapper here… it’s the only thing I can think of that would have messed up the computer.” He pointed to the crumpled tinfoil that laid over several important looking wires.
“What’s this?” Matt nudged the foil, and revealed a dark, round object.
“That’s weird…” Mike rummaged around for some tweezers. He reached in to pull out the mysterious object, but suddenly the tiny tweezers jumped from his loose grasp and stuck to the dark sphere.
“It’s a magnet!” Matt exclaimed.
“Or at least it’s magnetized. Still, I think we might have a chance of recreating the conditions that brought our old buddy out of his element. Get that other computer over here.” Mike carefully dislodged the tweezers and began shoving the other computer parts to the end of the desk to clear it off.
“Wait… Mike? Have you heard anything from Homestar…” The pair fell silent at this ominous realization.
After a moment, the paralysis was lifted; they dropped what they were doing and bolted from their chairs. “Homestar!” They called, but there was no response.
“Okay, someone needs to keep an eye on this stuff-” Mike reminded his brother.
“I’ll take care of it…” Matt took out his keys. They locked the room and proceeded to track down their missing companion.
At this very moment Homestar happened to think of Matt and Mike. He was sitting in Laura’s Camry, waiting for her to start the car.
“So, I met these two guys named Matt and Mike, and thewe wowking on fixing a computew fow me.” Homestar said casually. “I gotta use it to get back to my-”
Matt and Mike? You mean the Chapmans?” Laura interrupted. “Matt used to work here, before he and his brother started that internet cartoon dealie. He still comes by once in a while though. Doing odd jobs for some friends of his.”
“Oh yeah? Odd jobs, huh? Do they involve… conspiwacy? Or… secwet wecipes?” Homestar said dramatically.
Laura laughed. “No, mostly just favors for his buddies.” They pulled out of the parking lot. “You know why I’m taking you out for lunch?” Laura said suddenly, causing Homestar to look up from examining his entwined fingers.
“Uhh, because you… wanted some food?” Homestar guessed. “Oh, wait I wemembew! You wanted hot food! Ding ding ding! Tell me what I’ve won, Valewie!”
Laura chuckled again. “No, it’s because you remind me of my cousin.” She suddenly adopted a more serious tone, and gazed meaningfully at Homestar. “She struggles with the same thing you do, and I find that very respectable that you chose to meet ridicule with humor rather than anger. Not many people understand the difficulties you’re going through, but I want you to know that you aren’t alone. There’s help out there for people like you and my cousin. Here, this is where Tracy goes for therapy. I really recommend it, because she has improved so much over the last few months since switching to them.”
Laura handed him a business card and put her hand on his shoulder. Homestar looked blankly at her hand, then back at her. “Um, okay. Youw weiwd.” He scooted away from her. “Can we go back to that big elevatow place now?”
“We’re getting lunch, remember?” Laura reminded him.
“Yeah, I’m not weally hungwy anymowe. I’m pwetty suwe you cweeped all the hungwyness outta me.” The car came to a halt at a stop light, and Laura turned to face Homestar.
“Listen, I know it can be hard to talk about, but I know better than most people how difficult it can be to deal with a speech impediment-“
“The only thing inpediamented is youw bwain, sistew. I’m gettin’ outta this madness.” Homestar flung open the door and started to make a break for it, but Laura had snagged his shirt. He fell backwards, gagged by the collar of the shirt. Laura was yelling for him to get back in the car, but Homestar managed to wiggle out of the Zeppelin shirt and made his escape.
Unfortunately, in mid escape the light had turned green. The cars he was weaving through began to move, and Homestar froze on the center line, spinning around in confusion. Horns blared, insults flew, and the whole scene was total confusion for poor Homestar.
He finally leaped out into the street and made for the curb with all the speed he posessed. He thought he heard Laura scream above the squealing of tires. Somehow, the cars in the first lane had managed to stop in time. The curb was only a few feet away now, but a taxi was coming up fast in the turn lane. Homestar made a desperate leap for the curb, but was intersected in mid air by the hood of the taxi. He landed noisily and rolled off onto the pavement.
“Owwww…” He moaned. The cabby disentangled himself from his seatbelt and exited the car to scold the impertinent J-walker in a heavy southern accent.
“What the heck you think yo doin’ boy? You make a habit o’ leapin’ on people’s cars an’ givin’ folks a heart attack? People like you aughta be in a institution! You hurt?”
“I dunno.” Homestar replied, slightly dazed.
“Well then move yo butt off the road so people can make a livin!” The angry cab driver returned to his vehicle, and Homestar picked himself up off the pavement and limped to the sidewalk.
Meanwhile, Matt and Mike were scouring the office building for their missing companion. A search of the entire floor had turned up nothing, so they had gone to the lobby to see if anyone saw him leave the building.
“Have you seen a really pale guy in a black Zeppelin shirt around here?” Mike inquired of a clerk whose desk was across from the elevator.
“Why yes I do believe I did see him… he went out around fifteen or twenty minutes ago with that Laura from design. I remember it clearly because the man ran into one of the glass windows on his way out.” The clerk held back a laugh.
“Gotta be him,” Matt assured Mike. “Where were they going, and what did Laura look like?”
“Well, I don’t know where there going, but Laura… oh, well there she is now!” The clerk pointed, and the brothers turned to follow her gesture.
There was Laura, looking disheveled and holding what looked like a black piece of cloth. She seemed to be searching the crowd, and when her eyes fell upon the brothers she came running up to them.
“I’m so sorry, I was just taking your friend out to lunch because the guys were being so mean to him on the elevator, and I think I said something to upset him- he… he ran away when we were stopped at a light… I didn’t know what to do, I tried to stop him…” She was on the verge of tears and seemed unable to speak any further. Instead, she held out the Zeppelin shirt that Homestar had left behind in his escape.
“Oh, geez.” Mike remarked.
“Who let this fruit basket out of social services…” Matt muttered, rolling his eyes.
“Okay, just tell us where he got out. We’ll get him.” Mike said.
“Hey, fwee food!” Homestar had been sitting on the curb, trying to recover from his jarring encounter with the taxi when he caught a whiff of a delectable scent from a nearby cart of fresh bread that was sitting outside of a bakery. To him it appeared as though the cart had been abandoned there, so he got up and hobbled over to the cart to help himself. That is, until the bakery owner spotted him.
“What are you doing? You better be paying for that!” A big, burly man stormed out of the shop. “Well?”
“I, uh… I was just… um… wunning away!” Homestar tossed the half eaten loaf into the man’s arms and bolted around the corner into an alley. He paused by a dumpster to catch his breath.
“Close call, eh kid?” A gruff voice echoed out from the depths of the dumpster.
“Ah! The gawbage is talking to me!” Homestar jumped back against the grimy brick wall of the alley.
Now laughter started to pour out of the dumpster, and a dirty looking guy in a trenchcoat emerged as the owner of the voice. He stared at Homestar with beady eyes, his grizzled face contorted into a grin. “Quite a sense of humor you got there. But I’m gonna have to ask you to hand over your wallet. And any valuables you might be havin’ on ya.” He started to pull something out of his trenchcoat.
“Uh, I don’t have a wallet. I keep my money in my shoe.” Homestar replied.
“Well then empty your shoe, genius! And hurry up about it.”
“Why should I?” Homestar asked suspiciously.
The thief’s grimy face crinkled up in frustration. “Because if you don’t I’ll- AUUUURRRGHH!” Suddenly he jerked and collapsed to the ground. Directly behind him stood Matt holding a taser and bearing a triumphant grin.
“Say hello to my little friend!” Matt said to the stunned mugger.
“Nobody messes with our webtoon characters,” Mike added from the end of the alleyway.
“Awight! Scowe!” Homestar yelled happily. “I’m so glad I found you guys, thewe was this cweepy lady who was tawking about inpediations or something. It was the scawiest thing in my life.”
“Yeah, you were a lot of trouble to find. But the good news is we may have figured out how to get you back to where you belong now.” Matt said, putting the taser in his pocket. He led Homestar back to the end of the alleyway where Mike was waiting for them.
“Matt, since when did you start carrying a freaking taser?” Mike asked as they approached.
“Since I found it in the desk drawer of that office we’ve been working in.” Matt replied.
Chapter 11: Science Experiment
“So, let me get this stwaight… you guys found a supewball inside that busted computewbox? What does that have to do with anything? Thewe was a swiss cake woll in-”
“Yeah, we know. Look, this is the best explanation we could come up with for how you got here. And it wasn’t a superball. It was metal.”
“Oh, metal. Why didn’t you say so in the fiwst place! You know, I had a metal supewball once. It didn’t wowk vewy good, so I stuck it on the King of Town’s ice cweam and he thought it was a chewwy and ate it.”
“Well I think- wait, what?! I don’t remember that ever happening!”
“Yeah, me eithew. I think I just made that up. So, you stawt this thing up, the metal thing conducticates the enewgies and does something weiwd, and I just walk at it same as befowe?
“Uh, basically…” Mike turned briefly to Matt. “Is it just me, or is he actually acting smarter than usual?”
Matt shrugged. “’Nother side effect?”
“Okay, so what do I do to get it wowking.”
“Well, why not start by turning this thing on. I’m guessing you stand right in front… there. Now don’t move.” Matt plugged in the computer and hit the power button. Everyone froze, waiting.
“Nothing is happening, Mike. I think you bwoke it again.”
“Shhh… you hear that?” Mike listened eagerly.
“Yeah… what is it?” Matt glanced around the room to find the noise’s source.
“I don’t heaw nothing.” Homestar walked closer to the computer and listened. This time he could hear a faint whine. Oh, wait… it sounds like it’s coming fwom the computew scween.” Homestar stuck his hand out and tapped the monitor. The surface of the glass rippled like water. “Cool! Huh-?” Suddenly Homestar was yanked forward through the monitor. There was a rush of wind and a faint concussion of air. Matt and Mike were left staring at an empty desk. Homestar Runner was gone, and so was the computer.
“Well, let’s go see if the site’s back up. I think we did it!” Matt slapped Mike on the back and hurried into an adjacent office.
As Matt and Mike left the room and shut the door, a metal ball rolled off of the desk and into the trash can.
Chapter 12: Home
“OW! Ow. Ow.” Homestar bounced to a halt after tumbling head over heels through the portal that he had just been pulled through. He sat up unfazed and looked around. “Gweat George! I’ve landed in some kind of alien dimens- oof!” Suddenly there was a flash and the computer from the office fell with a crash onto Homestar’s head. He sat up quickly and repeated. “I’ve landed in some kind of alien dimension! And a TV just fell on my head.”
“Homestar? Homestar! You’re back!”
Homestar hopped to his feet and spun to face the source of the voice. Marzipan and the rest of the gang were hurrying toward him.
“Aaaa! An awmy of space myoo-tants! Oh, wait.” Homestar did a double take. “It’s just Marzipan.”
“Homestar Michael Runner, if you ever disappear like that again...” Marzipan threatened, but she leaned in and gave him a huge hug.
“What do you mean, I was looking fow you!” Homestar replied.
“I told you I would be gardening when I visited you this morning.” Marzipan reminded.
“Oh, well I didn’t heaw you. I was busy playing Space Invisitors.”
“That was why I left.” Marzipan frowned.
“Pom Pom! Hey, good to see you too, man.” Homestar turned away from Marzipan and greeted his best friend.
Marzipan muttered angrily.
In a few minutes he had been welcomed back by everyone except Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and The Cheat.
“Where’s Wrestle Man?” Homestar asked.
“He disappeared after the last round of Poker.” Strong Sad responded.
“That loser owes me a hundred bucks!” Bubs interjected.
“That’s probably why he ran away.” Strong Sad added.
“Hey, that weminds me… those guys still have my sandwiches! I better go get them.” Homestar walked over to Strong Bad’s house and banged on the door. Bubs and Strong Sad stood behind him.
“No one is home! Um… Strong Bad isn’t here right now. Please leave a message after The Cheat.” Strong Bad’s voice replied from beyond the door.
“Meh.” The Cheat yipped.
“Oh, hey Stwong Bad. It’s just me, I came by looking for- oh, you are home!” The door flew open as Homestar was in mid message.
Strong Bad stood in the doorway. “Homestar?!”
“I missed you too, Stinkoman.” Homestar started to step forward, but Strong Bad slammed the door in his face. There were frantic footsteps beyond the door.
“Whoa, I think Stwong Bad’s having a bad day.” Homestar said.
“He’s gonna have an even worse day if I don’t get my hundred bucks in about five minutes!” Bubs glared at the front door.
Suddenly the door flung open again, and a gloved hand shot out and jerked Homestar into the house. Strong Mad slammed the door and shuffled in front of it. The Cheat hopped onto Homestar’s chest and glared at him menacingly. Strong Bad walked up beside Homestar.
“All right listen up.” Strong Bad glanced at the door, then continued in a quieter voice. “You gotta help me, man. Bubs is after my blood-”
“I thought he was after your hundred bucks.” Homestar corrected.
“Shh! No, you idiot it’s a figure of- look, I just- I need you to tell me how to get to wherever you went.”
“Why would you want to go thewe? It was pwetty boring. And weiwd.” Homestar replied.
“I need to hide until Bubs forgets about the money I owe him.” Strong Bad paused, realizing that wasn’t possible for Bubs to forget about a debt. “Or at least until Strong Sad gets some more money for me to steal.”
“Oh, I see. By the way, can I have my sandwiches back?” Homestar asked abruptly.
“You’re… sandwiches? Umm… sorry to tell you this, but Strong Sad ate them.”
“What! The tweachewy…” Homestar lamented.
“Yeah, I tried to stop him and stuff. So, you gonna tell me where you went, or do I need to get Strong Mad here to ‘persuade’ you…” Strong Bad demanded.
“I don’t weally know where I was anyway. I got lost.” Homestar explained.
“Oh great…”
“But I have a hundwed bucks you can borrow.” Homestar stood up and produced a hundred dollar bill from his shoe.
“Meh! Pimeh meh mi!” The Cheat leapt over and grabbed the money.
“Where the crap did you get a hundred bucks from?” Strong Bad asked as The Cheat handed him the bill.
“Well when I was in the altewnating dimension I had to weaw, um, this disguise and when I looked in the pockets thewe was a bunch of money in it.” Homestar paused. “So I kept it. But I got wid of the disguise though. When I came back. It was a-”
“All right, all right. Jeez, I don’t need your life story.” Strong Bad interrupted.
“THE DOOR IS MOVING!” Strong Mad yelled. Someone was banging on the door and shouting.
“Hey, open up! I want my money!” Bubs called from outside.
Strong Mad stepped aside as Strong Bad walked over and opened the door. “Here you go, Bubs. I was just getting it out of… the bank.”
“Yeah right. And I’m Miss Texas.” Bubs glared.
“I thourt I was Miss Texas!” Coach Z peered around Pom Pom.
“Shut it up, loser.” Bubs and Strong Bad replied in unison.
“Okay.” Coach Z slunk away dejectedly.
“Man, that’s just wrong.” Strong Bad went back in the house, and a moment later Homestar was shoved out the front door onto his face.
“Ouch. Oh look, a penny!” Homestar got to his feet and walked away.
Soon everyone had scattered, except for Strong Sad. He was sitting outside his front door, knocking intermittently. “Strong Bad! The Cheat? Can anyone unlock the door? I’d do it myself but the spare key is missing… hello?”
End-a-logue
“Well, Matt. Looks like the plan worked. The site is up again.” Mike said as the intro screen loaded on the office computer.
“Great. Let’s go get some dinner now. It’s been a very long day.” Matt wearily responded.
“I hear that.” Mike agreed. “At least when we’re animating we can take a break from being around our characters.”
Matt started humming the Twilight Zone theme as they closed up the office, and they both started laughing as they walked down the empty hallway.
The only person left on the floor now was a janitor, wheeling his squeaky maintenance cart past Mike and Matt on their way out. The janitor walked slowly down the hall until he reached the door to one of the offices. With a metallic clamor he sorted through a keychain, carefully selected a key, and unlocked the door. After a nervous glance in either direction the man entered the office.
A few silent minutes passed before the man came back out of the office and locked the door. As he walked back to his maintenance cart, he carefully slipped a strange metal ball into his pocket and smiled.
Finished by JennyStuff 23:38, 5 January 2006 (UTC)... or was it?
READ THE Sequel!
