Other Character Email 1-Up/squids

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1-UP EMAIL 105!

Mutant squids plan to take over the world all because of Dr. Strong Bad who has just become a scientist. Now, 1-Up must convince Homestar Runner and the King of Town to help him against the squids and perhaps keep Free Country, USA safe.

Cast (in order of appereance): Strong Bad, Mitchell, Squid, Strong Mad, 1-Up, King of Town, Mitchell, Mutant Squids, Poopsmith

Transcript

{Cuts to Strong Bad and mitchell working on some kind of chemical}

STRONG BAD: With this chemical, I might be able to make a person live forever.

MITCHELL: Is it done yet?

STRONG BAD: Oh, crap. I forgot to test it. Get me one of the test subjects.

{Mitchell goes over to one of the cages and pulls out a big squid}

MITCHELL: Will this do?

STRONG BAD: Yeah, yeah. Now put it on the table.

{Mitchell puts the squid on the table as Strong Bad pours a drop of the chemical carefully on the squid}

STRONG BAD: {slowly} Careful, careful.

{Strong Mad runs in}

STRONG MAD: PET SQUID! PET SQUID!

{Strong Mad pushes Strong Bad so that Strong Bad accidently smashes the chemical all over the squid. The squid screams and jumps out the window, trying to reach the ocean}

STRONG BAD: If that thing makes it to the ocean, it could start a new species of mutant squids just by changing the path of the waters movement and the chemical reaction between the water and the squid.

STRONG MAD: THE SQUID IS ATTACKING THAT CASTLE!

STRONG BAD: That's the King of Town's castle. Nobody cares about the King of Town.

MITCHELL: Shall I go warn the King of Town?

STRONG BAD: You do that. I'm going to check my email.

{Strong Bad leaves as the screen fades to black. Cut to 1-Up in front of the King of Town's castle}

1-UP: I am from the future. Why won't you beleive me?

KING OF TOWN: If you are from the future, then tell me what I'm going to eat today.

1-UP: Three roasts and fourteen pizzas.

KING OF TOWN: Wrong. It was going to be three roasts and thirteen pizzas, but fourteen sounds better. Okay, fine. I'm convinced that you are indeed from the future.

1-UP: Thank you. So, can I stay at your castle?

KING OF TOWN: No.

{The King of Town slams the door in 1-Up's face}

1-UP: I want pudding.

{Mitchell runs onscreen and looks at 1-Up}

MITCHELL: You look familar. I think I saw you at that party a few nights ago.

1-UP: Yeah, whatever. Do you know if I can speak to the King of Town?

MITCHELL: I was going to ask you that exact question.

1-UP: My name's 1-Up.

MITCHELL: Cool. I'm Mitchell, but my friends call me Mitch.

1-UP: {slowly} So, nobody calls you Mitch.

MITCHELL: Well, I guess you could say that.

1-UP: Well, I'm kind of lost. Do you now where I can find Stlunko or at least his creator?

MITCHELL: Who is Stlunko?

1-UP: The robot created by Sticklyman that doesn't use contractions.

MITCHELL: Who the crap is Sticklyman, 1-Up?

1-UP: I don't know. I've never heard of a Sticklyman 1-Up. What is a Sticklyman 1-Up?

MITCHELL: Huh?

1-UP: What?

MITCHELL: What?

1-UP: Huh?

MITCHELL: Wha...?

1-UP: Pudding!

MITCHELL: Who?

{1-Up punches Mitchell and runs off}

MITCHELL: What a strange guy. He looked like Homestar Runner.

{Three mutant squids come out of the water and start choking Mitchell with their tentacles}

MITCHELL: {screams, followed by choking sounds}

{Cuts to 1-Up at the back of the King of Town's castle, where there is a large ocean next to the Poopsmith who appears to be shoveling poop}

1-UP: Woah. They have a very large ocean at the back of this castle. How come nobody ever noticed it before? Oh, well. I better check the Pan Pilot for some emails.

{1-Up drops the Pan Pilot into the Poopsmith's poop. The Poopsmith shovels it up and throws it into the ocean}

1-UP: No. The Pan Pilot. Well, this sucks more then the time I was stuck in the year of 30X2.

{Four mutant squids crawl out of the ocean and start smashing the castle with their tentacles in the background, but 1-Up doesn't notice}

1-UP: Oh, man. I sure could go for some pudding right now. The only thing better then pudding is, um, nothing. Pudding is the best.

KING OF TOWN: {offscreen, screaming} WAAAAAAAAAAAH!

1-UP: The King of Town must be in trouble.

{1-Up jumps into the window of the castle and runs into the dining room where he sees the King of Town at the table}

KING OF TOWN: Disaster, disaster! You won't beleive it!

1-UP: Calm down, kingy. What is the problem?

KING OF TOWN: My ice-cream has melted! I bought too much of it, and I wasted my money because now it's melted ice-cream!

1-UP: Would it make you feel better if I stole some ice-cream off Strong bad and then gave it to you?

KING OF TOWN: Yes. You will be rewarded fairly, if you do.

1-UP: Great. I'll see you later, kingy.

KING OF TOWN: I'll let you have an extra three million dollars if you stop calling my "kingy!"

1-UP: Okay, dingy.

KING OF TOWN: Don't call me that either! It just plain creeps me out!

{1-Up jumps back out of the window, but as he tries to leave the castle, seventeen mutant squids surround 1-Up}

1-UP: Oh no.

{Subtitles appear on screen as they speak in their squid-like language}

MUTANT SQUID #12: (We shall attack areas 7 and 9 of Free Country, USA and then we shall kill the King of Town in area 8.)

MUTANT SQUID #7: (That is a great idea. Nobody could stop us from ruling over the world after we become king of Free Country, USA.)

1-UP: {whispers} I think I can get out while they are distracted.

{1-Up walks offscreen. Cuts to Strong Bad on his Lappy 486}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Woah. I am up to six hundred and fifty Strong Bad emails. This calls for a celebration. Hm, I could probably talk like a- No, no. I think I tried that. Maybe, a rock opera.

{The camera zoooms out to show 1-Up hiding under Strong Bad's computer desk. It also shows that Strong Bad has a bowl of ice-cream sitting next to his computer}

STRONG BAD: No. I've done that too, haven't I? Wait a minute. I know what to do. I could go and drink six hundred and fifty cold ones and then see how drunk I am. I might even check another six hundred and fifty emails while I'm drunk and see the funny results. Be right back.

{Strong Bad leaves the room and 1-Up gets out from underneath the desk. He sits on the chair and types "check 1-up email"}

Bad command or file name.

1-UP: What? I better try this again.

{1-Up types "check 1-up email" again}

Bad command or file name.

1-UP: What the crap? Come on, you stupid computer.

{1-Up spin-kicks the computer and an email pops up}

1-UP: Oh, here we go.

Hey 1up!
The green communicator can be very useful
in areas 7 & 9!
A helpful hint from Super Joe

ATTACHMENT: green_communicator.exe

{1-Up reads the email}

1-UP: {typing} Super Joe? Aren't you one of those minions from the Megaman games in the year 20XX which is another X years after my time in 20X6. Oh, wait. That's a Sniper Joe, and not a Super Joe. You don't know your Megaman games very well.

{1-Up clears the screen}

1-UP: So, I should use the green communicator in areas 7 and 9? I think the squids said something about that. Thanks, Sniper Joe.

{1-Up downloads the attachment to a disk and inserts the disk into the back of his head because he is a robot. Another email pops up}

1-UP: Oh, another one.

Dear 1-Up..,
Do you like squids? Because my girlfriend
doesn't... mostly because she's kreeped out by them.
I've tried the whole Psychiatric therapist thing,
but nothing seems to work out. Please help
me 1-Up...
Squidless in District of Columbia.

{1-Up reads the email}

1-UP: To answer your first question, no. I do not like squids, at all. Maybe I should meet your girlfriend sometime. We seem to have a lot in common, because I am creeped out by them too. {1-Up spells "creeped" as "kreeped"} I will try and ask the King of Town if I can meet you in Columbia, even though that place won't exist in the year 201X.

{1-Up grabs the ice-cream and leaves the room. Strong Bad comes in with a beer bottle in his hand. He seems to look a bit sleepy}

STRONG BAD: {in a drunk voice} Okay, let's see. What- Oh. An email is already up. Let's read it, shall we?

Dear 1-Up..,
Do you like squids? Because my girlfriend
doesn't... mostly because she's kreeped out by them.
I've tried the whole Psychiatric therapist thing,
but nothing seems to work out. Please help
me 1-Up...
Squidless in District of Columbia.

{Strong Bad mumbles while reading and doesn't pronounce some of the words properly}

STRONG BAD: {drops his beer bottle and starts typing} I never cared about you, man. In fact, I never really cared about anyone. {cries} I'm so lonely.

{Strong Bad falls asleep on the keyboard and "Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz..." would type itself on the Lappy's screen continuesly. Cuts to 1-Up back at the King of Town's dining room, the King of Town is being choked by a mutant squid}

1-UP: I've finished. Can I have my reward?

KING OF TOWN: {trying to breathe} Help me.

1-UP: You want me to help you?

KING OF TOWN: Yes!

1-UP: Okay.

{1-Up eats the ice-cream and then takes the King of Town's money}

1-UP: Thank you. By the way, I like your pet squid that's hugging you. It's so cute.

{1-Up leaves and the King of Town is knocked out cold by the mutant squid. Cut open to 1-Up sitting in a helicopter with the Poopsmith who appears to be driving the plan. They land in the district of Columbia where Squidless is standing}

1-UP: Hello, Squidless. It is nice to meet you.

SQUIDLESS: You have got to help me. That really big squid won't leave me alone. It has been destroying Columbia.

{The camera zooms out to show that Columbia is being terrorised by giant mutant squids that are the size of Godzilla}

1-UP: I only have one plan for this problem. I must look for the source and as soon as we get to the source, we'll have a plan.

SQUIDLESS: What will we do if you don't find the source?

1-UP: We'll move to Australia and live there.

SQUIDLESS: The problem is going on all around the world, I'm pretty sure that it'll be no different over there.

{A mutant squid grabs Squidless and starts choking him}

SQUIDLESS: {screaming, followed by choking sounds}

1-UP: Squidless! Darn it! I have to help him, but how?

{Squidless faints and the mutant squid throws him in the ocean}

1-UP: {sighs} Good-bye, Squidless. You were always like a brother to me.

{Another mutant squid picks up 1-Up and throws him all the way back to Free Country, USA. Cuts to 1-Up sitting in the grass of Free Country, USA}

1-UP: Ow! That is the last time I handle a mutant- Hey, wait! I'm in area 7! I can use the green communicator that I installed earlier!

MUTANT SQUID #76: I don't think I can allow you to do that.

{The camera zooms out to show that Free Country, USA is being terrorised by giant mutant squids that a bigger and worser then the ones in Columbia}

MUTANT SQUID #76: I better take you to the Mother Squid, Squidzilla!

1-UP: Oh no.

{The paper comes down, followed by a message at the bottom of the screen saying "To Be Continued..."}

TO BE CONTINUED...

Other Character Email 1-Up/squids

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