Other Character Email Trogador/trogdor

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The New Trogador Adventures

Episode 005: Trogdor
Trogador has a little family reunion with his dad, grandpa, and great-grandpa. As an added bonus, he's the biggest failure out of all of them! But who wins in a battle of the wits? Probably not our hero!

Transcript

{cut to black screen that says "IN A.D 20X8". The screen then changes it's text it to "A DRAGON INVITED GOGALOR TO HIS CRAP SHACK AND TOGETHER THEY BROKE EVERYTHING. THAT DRAGON IS..." The words disappear, and TROGADOR in orange letters appears. Below are the options "START GAME", "SECRET CODE WORD", and "OPTIONAL OPTIONS". The first set of words light up, and we get taken to this screen....}

{cut to The Entryway. Trogador is boarding up the massive gaps that were made in the previous email. He finished and wipes his face with a rag.}

TROGADOR: Wooh, I think that's everything!

{Trogador walks over one of the hallways. He puts up a Pac-Man statue. Drew comes up behind.}

DREW: What's the circle gnome for?

TROGADOR: Clyde is afraid of that thing for some reason. I'm trying to keep him out of here, because I know that he'll break those boards.

{Clyde runs over (from the hallway) and stops dead in his tracks when he sees the Pac-Man statue. Whimpering, he sprints back.}

TROGADOR: See? Works like a Chorch!

DREW: {gasps} TROGADOR!

TROGADOR: What? What's the problem with saying "works like a Chorch"?

DREW: That's racist! It's not politically correct!

TROGADOR: What? How is that racist?

DREW: And just when you think you know someone!

{Drew stomps off.}

TROGADOR: Whatever! I'll just put these Pac-Man statues up by myself, you PC jerk!

{Trogador goes over to another hallway entrance to put a Pac-Man statue up when a tiny "DING" is heard.}

TROGADOR: Oh, hey, TrogPilot! Guess I have a new email.

{Trogador takes out the TrogPilot.}

TROGADOR: Very good question, Historical Reference! No, Trogdor the Great isn't my great-grandpa, he's just my grandpa.

KRAY: {walking up} Well, that hardly makes sense!

TROGADOR: How so?

KRAY: Well, let's say that Trogdor was a dragon in the times of Peasantry. Then, logically, in the 1930's, you'd have another dragon. Those were baby-boomer years, so by, oh, let's say 2005, you'd have another dragon!

TROGADOR: You're partly right.

{a chalkboard appears behind Trogador.}

TROGADOR: In times of Peasantry, {Trogador draws some thatched roof cottages} Trogdor was around. {Trogador draws Trogdor stomping on the cottages and then draws an arrow. At the end of the arrow he draws a factory.} And then yes, there was another dragon in the 1930's. {Trogador draws a dragon wearing a hat. He then draws an arrow going down and then an egg.} Then, in the 1960's, I was born! I roamed about like an egg for a while until about the 90's, which is when {Trogador draws a straight-line coming from the egg and a komodo dragon at the end of that arrow} they sent me to this planet to observe the human populace as Komodor, the fearsome komodo dragon.

KRAY: That must've sucked.

TROGADOR: It was actually pretty fun. Anyways, {Trogador draws a straight-line coming from the komodo dragon. At the end of it he draws himself.} in the 2040's, I went through my teenager years, and then shortly afterwards became the oh-so-great person you know me today!

KRAY: Why aren't yeh gone yet? You've been around fer way too long!

TROGADOR: I guess I haven't died yet. I've been hiding and not doing notable things to avoid it because Planet K is fun.

{Suddenly, a letter flies into Trogador's face.}

TROGADOR: What's this?

Dear Failure-ador,
You've been invited to see
your ancestors at the
Upper Clouds. You'll be teleported
pretty soon, so pack your stuff
and I told you to go to bathroom
before we left!

TROGADOR: Looks like I'm being teleported...

KRAY: What?

{The room brightly flashes and Trogador disappears.}

{cut to some clouds. The screen brightly flashes and Trogador appears.}

TROGADOR: Well, that was fun and didn't make me throw up in my mouth!

VOICE: {offscreen} There's my boy!

{A gray Old-Timey dragon walks up to Trogador. He's about the same size and wears black overalls and a steamboat captain hat.}

STEAMBOAT TROGGIE: Well hi there boy!

TROGADOR: Hi, Dad.

STEAMBOAT TROGGIE: It's been a long time? Can't you give your old Dad a hug?

TROGADOR: No.

STEAMBOAT TROGGIE: Ah well, I probably deserve that.

TROGADOR: Probably? You kicked me out of the house at age 0!

STEAMBOAT TROGGIE: It was a character building exercise! But that's all behind us now. What brings you here?

TROGADOR: You mean you didn't summon me?

STEAMBOAT TROGGIE: Nope. Must've been grandpa then...

TROGADOR: Yeah, well, I want to get my business over with. Where is he?

STEAMBOAT TROGGIE: Follow me.

{The two walk over to a building labeled "HIGH CLOUD ESTATE FOR AGED INDIVIDUALS".}

TROGADOR: They put him in a retirement home?

STEAMBOAT TROGGIE: Yeah, well, he didn't put up much of a fight. Gramps doesn't have much fight left him in these days...

TROGADOR: I mean my grandpa.

STEAMBOAT TROGGIE: Oh, him. Yeah, no, we elected him to rule over us all.

TROGADOR: You have grandpa ruling over all of you? Isn't that dangerous?

STEAMBOAT TROGGIE: We were afraid to provide any opposition...

{The two walk into the Retirement Home.}

{Inside is your standard retirement home - old pictures and old carpet. Potted planets are...hanging from the wall somehow. They walk into a TV room where a purple pterodactyl is watching TV.}

PTERADOR: So you ninnies are back, I see!

TROGADOR: Hi, great-gramps.

PTERADOR: Hello, failure! How's the failing going?

TROGADOR: I'll have you know I run an email show with mild success!

PTERADOR: Oh, an email show! You'll sure become a god by answering emails!

TROGADOR: Who said I was going to become a god?

PTERADOR: It's every Ador's duty to become one. When they have proven themselves in their lives, they ascend to this plane and become fully fledged gods! Not none of this demi crap!

TROGADOR: So then why aren't you a god?

PTERADOR: Age discrimination!

TROGADOR: Alright, can we just skip the bickering and get down to business?

STEAMBOAT TROGGIE: Yeah, you guys are hurting my hearing aids!

PTERADOR: Shut up, sonny.
TROGADOR: Shut up, dad.

PTERADOR: Anyways, I summoned you up here because we all think it's time for you to do something worthy.

STEAMBOAT TROGGIE: Hey, I never said that!

PTERADOR: Shut up!

STEAMBOAT TROGGIE: Okay...

{Steamboat Troggie leaves.}

PTERADOR: Now, back to your failures.

TROGADOR: You can stop right there! I'm sick and tired of you treating me this way! I'm leaving!

PTERADOR: You're not going anywhere, boy. In fact, if you're sick of this, you're definately gonna hate what's next!

TROGADOR: What?

{The room flashes brightly and the two disappear.}

{cut to a stone room. Trogdor sits on a stone throne on one side of it. The room flashes brightly and the two re-appear.}

TROGADOR: Oh, man, I just threw up in my mouth again...

TROGDOR: Welcome, family.

PTERADOR: Glad to be here, boy. We gotta get this grandson of yours whipped into shape, if you get what I'm saying.

TROGADOR: Wait, what's that supposed to mean?

TROGDOR: You have lived since the year 1962, Trogador. That's 570 years you've been roaming that planet. That's far too long for any Ador.

TROGADOR: I've been busy!

PTERADOR: Busy with a female show...

TROGADOR: Email show!

TROGDOR: Regardless of what you have been doing, that's still more than all of your ancestors put together. Pterador served 100 years on that planet. I served 90. And even your father, who just drove a boat, only served 110 years! But you? 570!

TROGADOR: Why does it matter? I'm looking for the right disaster!

TROGDOR: You had your chances in the 2040's, when there was a zombie apocalypse.

PTERADOR: A plan orchestrated by us, now that you mention it...

TROGDOR: Orchestrated so you could prove your greatness! But, as it seems, you didn't do anything to resolve that!

TROGADOR: Wait, the zombie apocalypse was your plan?

TROGDOR: Yes. After you failed to stop it, we agreed to never try that again. however, it has been 490 years...I feel as if we should make a second attempt.

TROGADOR: Don't do that! Anything but that!

TROGDOR: Anything, you say?

TROGADOR: Well, now that you reply in that cliche fashion, I'm not really so sure about "anything"...

TROGDOR: You will have to defeat your grandfather in a battle to leave here.

TROGADOR: On that condition that I get to choose the type of battle!

TROGDOR: I accept the condition.
PTERADOR: Absolutely not!

PTERADOR: You can't be serious!

TROGADOR: Oh, he's serious...and I choose GAME SHOW BATTLE!

{Suddenly, the scenery changes to a standard 70's gameshow set. Two podiums come up in front of Trogador and Pterador with buttons on them. A wall of categories appears behind them.}

PTERADOR: is this crap legit!?

TROGDOR: I'm afraid so. I know I should've taken that out of the handbook...

TROGADOR: Prepare to get pwned {pronounced pwuh-ned}!

TROGDOR: ...right. Since Trogador chose the battle, you get the first question, Pterador.

PTERADOR: All the categories are "Trogador Emails"!

TROGDOR: Pick one.

PTERADOR: But-

TROGDOR: Do you forfeit?

PTERADOR: No! I pick Trogador Emails for 200 on the left, Alex.

TROGDOR: Well, I'm not Alex, but here is your question.

What is the name of Trogador's dead poltergeist butler?

PTERADOR: Umm...Jerome?

{A buzzer zaps.}

TROGDOR: I'm sorry, that's incorrect. Trogador?

TROGADOR: That little guys dead? Huh. No wonder my place is a pigsty-

TROGDOR: Trogador!

TROGADOR: His name is Peevesly.

TROGDOR: Correct. 200 for Trogador, 0 for Pterador.

PTERADOR: I demand a recount!

TROGADOR: Anyways, Alex, I pick Trogador Emails in the center for 200.

Who forced Trogador to be his slave after joining Challenge Club?

TROGADOR: Umm...that's a toughie...is it Clyde?

{A buzzer zaps.}

TROGDOR: You are incorrect. Pterador?

PTERADOR: Oh, I don't know what kind of failures he fails out with! Let me guess, a floating brain?

TROGDOR: Correct! That's 200-200, with one question left!

PTERADOR: Wait, you're friends with a brain? Wow, you're a bigger failure than I thought!

TROGADOR: Pick your question, old man!

PTERADOR: I pick Trogador Emails on the right for 100!

What was the missing ingredient from Trogador's birthday cake?

PTERADOR: I don't know, raspberry?

{A buzzer zaps.}

TROGDOR: Incorrect. Trogador, for the win, do you know the answer?

TROGADOR: Umm...I don't remember a cake...I just remember lava...could've been colder...was it Ice Zone icing?

TROGDOR: Correct!

{The game show set disappears and the room reverts back to the castle.}

TROGADOR: Hah! You got owned, great-gramps!

PTERADOR: I demand a redo! That wasn't even a battle!

TROGDOR: Technically, it was. Trogador, you are free to return to Planet K.

{The room flashes brightly and Trogador disappears.}

{cut to The Living Room of The Temple. A banner is hanging that says "HE'S GONE!". Everybody is standing there with party hats on. A giant cake is in front of them. The room flashes brightly and Trogador reappears.}

TROGADOR: Hey everybody, I'm ba-what's up with the party?

CLYDE: He's gone!

TROGADOR: Who's gone?

JOHN: Umm...Tampo is gone?

TROGADOR: Oh, sweet! let's go over to his warehouse and trash it!

{Trogador runs out of the room.}

{Awkward silence.}

CLYDE: He's gone again!

{Everybody cheers.}

THE END!

Fun Facts

  • "Goggalor" is a Psychonauts reference. During the Blowfishopolis level, the main character, Raz, is called "Goggalor" by the feared blowfish population. This also refers to Bubs's appearance in the last email - he wears goggles around his neck.
  • Clyde originates from the game Pac-Man, in which Pac-Man would mercilessly devour the ghosts.
  • The character Steamboat Troggie is a parody of Steamboat Mickey.
  • The game show and "Alex" is a Jeopardy! parody.
Other Character Email Trogador

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