Other Character Email The Wheelchair/eh! capturing
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
The Wheelchair Email #28
Contents |
Summary
The Wheelchair tries to catch Eh! Steve by thinking. King Snailbert joins the kidnapping.
Cast (in order of appearance): The Wheelchair, Eh! Steve, King Snailbert, Sherlock, The Worm
Plot: None
Computer: Happy 354
Lines: 106
Page Title: Happy with the 354
Release Date: August 9, 2007
Transcript
THE WHEELCHAIR: {rolling up to the Happy 354, which has spiderwebs on it} Spiderwebs again! There were spiderwebs here last time too! Hmm... maybe I should get spider repellent to keep the spiders away for good.
{Cut to an aisle in a store. The shelves are filled with bug-repellent-products.}
THE WHEELCHAIR: Now just which one to get?
{The Wheelchair picks one up with his invisible hand. The camera zooms in on the repellent's label, which says, "Spider Repellent: Just spray once and spiders will go away for a year!"}
THE WHEELCHAIR: Spray once and spiders will go away for a year, eh? {takes a magnifying glass and begins to read fine print} Actually, we lied. This product doesn't work. We're just scamming you out of your money!
{Cut to a zoomed out shot. The Wheelchair puts back one repellent and grabs another. Cut to a zoomed in shot of the repellent.}
THE WHEELCHAIR: {reading from label of repellent} Granma Peter's Year Long Spider Repellent.{not reading} Granma Peter? Well, this seems good to me. {turns repellent can until he sees price, which is 3000 dollars} Three thousand dollars! Who makes this, Sony? Apple? {turns repellent can and sees both Sony's and Apple's logos on the can} I should have known.
{Cut to The Wheelchair spraying the can on his computer. The spiderwebs dissolve.}
VOICE: Charge!!!
{hundreds of spiders come flying in from no where at the computer, but they all dissolve once they touch it}
THE WHEELCHAIR: That was...weird. Well, onto business.
{The Wheelchair double-clicks on "Email"}
THE WHEELCHAIR: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemuffins!
{an email pops up}
(none)Dear Wheelchairface,
Why you so stupid? The way to catch that one guy that you're always after, is by standing in front of him and thinking how to capture him. Idiot. Then he'll be like he wants you to capture him. Moron. I hate you.
With Love,
Kyle Westwood
THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} Well, first, I can hardly understand this thing so...I'll feed it to my new program "Decipher an Email!"
{The Wheelchair highlights the email, minuses it, then double-clicks on "n00b 5p3ak". The Wheelchair pastes the email in the program. Then the email pops up translated.}
To The Wheelchair face (not his body),
Why is your IQ low? The way to catch Eh! Steve is by standing close to him and thinking you're putting him in a cage. My IQ is higher than yours and I think I'm better than you. Then he will walk into the cage on his own free will. I now insult you. I hate you.
I love you,
MikeControl
THE WHEELCHAIR: {reads it} Ah! Much better! So, I should try this out.
{Cuts to Sweet Cuppin' Cakes land with Eh! Steve onscreen. The Wheelchair rolls onscreen.}
EH! STEVE: Eh! No! Deen't heert me!
{The Wheelchair just stays there not doing anything}
EH! STEVE: Eh? {takes one step closer to The Wheelchair}
{The Wheelchair stays where he is for ten seconds}
EH! STEVE: Eh! Ee ceen't teek eet anymore! Eh! Capture me!
{The Wheelchair slams a cage over Eh! Steve's head}
THE WHEELCHAIR: Ha! I caught Eh! Steve!
KING SNAILBERT: {coming onscreen} I'm very sorry, but it is against snail law to kidnap. Release Eh! Steve immediately.
THE WHEELCHAIR: Um...neither of us are snails.
KING SNAILBERT: Oh. {pause} Right. Well then, can I help? I've never kidnapped anyone before. What are you gonna do, make Eh! Stew or something?
THE WHEELCHAIR: No. I'm gonna force him to...give me a better birthday present.
KING SNAILBERT: It's your birthday? I didn't know that. What should I -
THE WHEELCHAIR: No, it's not, he got me a horrible birthday present a long time ago.
EH! STEVE: Eh! I'm sorry!
THE WHEELCHAIR: Sorry's not good enough. I'm gonna force you to buy the best birthday present ever! Moo hoo ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha cow!
KING SNAILBERT: The Wheelchair, may I point out a flaw in your plan?
THE WHEELCHAIR: What?
KING SNAILBERT: The cage you captured Eh! Steve in has no bottom face, so Eh! Steve can just pick up the cage and throw it off him.
{Eh! Steve throws the cage off of him and runs}
THE WHEELCHAIR: And you just had to point that out?
KING SNAILBERT: Well...yeah. Yes, I did. It was destiny.
{The Wheelchair and King Snailbert move offscreen, and the screen pans left to show Sherlock waiting by The Worm's hole. The Worm comes out of it, but Sherlock just stands there for a few seconds, closing its eyes (yes, it has eyes that can be closed) and thinking hard. The Worm takes out a hammer and begins to swing it down on Sherlock . Cut to The Wheelchair and King Snailbert standing next to Eh! Steve, who is sleeping on the ground.}
THE WHEELCHAIR: Eh! Steve sleeps?
KING SNAILBERT: Well, everyone does.
{Cut to The Wheelchair spraying shaving cream on Eh! Steve's hand and then tickling Eh! Steve's face with a feather. Instead of spreading shaving cream on its face, however, Eh! Steve wakes up.}
EH! STEVE: Eh! You!
{The Wheelchair slams a cage over Eh! Steve}
THE WHEELCHAIR: You're not supposed to wake up! Now...I'm gonna take you to a store, and you're gonna buy me the best birthday present ever, understand?
EH! STEVE: {in a computer-like voice} This Eh! Steve decoy will blow up in five seconds. Five...four...(continues}
THE WHEELCHAIR: RUN!!
{The Wheelchair quickly rolls offscreen, King Snailbert following.}
EH! STEVE: ...one...zero. {Eh! Steve doesn't blow up, but throws the cage off of him} Eh! Eet worked! {runs offscreen}
{The Wheelchair and King Snailbert come back onscreen}
THE WHEELCHAIR: He was...real!? But...how did he talk in the computer voice?
KING SNAILBERT: Well, you should buy a different cage if you want to capture him.
{cut to The Wheelchair walking out of a store with a cage that looks almost exactly like the last one he had}
THE WHEELCHAIR: So this cage is supposed to shut its bottom face once you slam it on someone? I doubt that works, but if it does, yay.
{Cut to The Wheelchair and King Snailbert standing next to Eh! Steve, who's sleeping.}
THE WHEELCHAIR: Wow, Eh! Steve sleeps a lot. {slams cage over Eh! Steve's head}
{The cage's bottom face shuts, and The Wheelchairs picks the cage up to see that Eh! Steve's leg is jammed where the bottom side of the cage shut. Eh! Steve shows no sign of pain, and only wakes up.}
EH! STEVE: {in a computer-like voice} This Eh! Steve decoy will self-destruct in five seconds. Five...four...{continues}
THE WHEELCHAIR: I'm not falling for that one again.
EH! STEVE: ...two...one...zero.
{The Eh! Steve decoy blows up, destroying the cage, and covering The Wheelchair and King Snailbert with ash.}
THE WHEELCHAIR: That was a real bomb! But...my cage cost $59.22! You know what, I'm going back to what the email said. I'll stand next to Eh! Steve, thinking how to capture him, he'll say capture me, I'll lift him up by the leg, then carry him in a store to buy me a birthday present.
{Cut to The Wheelchair standing next to Eh! Steve. The Wheelchair just stands there for a few seconds.}
EH! STEVE: Ee can't teek eet eenymore! Jeest capture me!
{The Wheelchair picks up Eh! Steve by the leg and Eh! Steve turns upside down. The Wheelchair rolls to a store.}
THE WHEELCHAIR: {rolling through the store} Let's see...what should I force you to buy me? Hmm...a one hundred inch TV screen, no no, too small. Maybe a computer and a one hundred twenty inch screen TV.
EH! STEVE: Eh! Ee can't eeford theet stuff. I'm veery veery poor.
THE WHEELCHAIR: What? You're poor!
EH! STEVE: Yees. Why do you theenk ee don't have a house?
THE WHEELCHAIR: Well then, if you can't buy me something, I guess I'll just have to cause you pain. Moo hoo ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha cow!
EH! STEVE: Eh?
{The Wheelchair throws Eh! Steve offscreen. Breaking noises are heard. Cut to The Wheelchair at the Happy 354.}
THE WHEELCHAIR: {typing} So, Eh! Steve's poor. That's his reason for his bad birthday present. Well, I guess his pain is enough revenge...wait! If Eh! Steve's poor, how did he afford that decoy robot? And...Eh! Steve has a house! He...Eh! Steve tricked me! I'LL GET YOU EH! STEVE!!!!!
{The Paper comes down}
Easter Eggs
- Click on "pain" at the end to see what happened to Sherlock:
{Sherlock is laying on a bed in the hospital. The Wheelchair is standing by his bed.}
THE WHEELCHAIR: What happened?
{The Worm comes up from a hole in the floor of the room}
THE WORM: I hit him. It was funny watching a cowcopter bleed.
- Click on "revenge" to see what Eh! steve has planned for The Wheelchair:
{Eh! Steve puts a black sphere bomb into a hole in a decoy Eh! Steve}
EH! STEVE: Thees should weerk well.
Fun Facts
- Both Sony and Apple are known to give high prices to their products, notably Sony's PS3 and Apple's iPhone.
- Eh! Steve giving The Wheelchair a bad birthday present is a reference to eh! steve.
| The Wheelchair Email |
|---|
| DVD: Character Explanations | spasms | cheese and yogurt | eh? |
eh! steve | accident | superhero | snails | crane | rockholz's cave | worm catching | grapermelon | dimensions | stevenapped | wheelchair's purpose | homsar | death seed plague | broken tv | inspection | password | other forms | court case | journey | whatever | badly drawn | mr. e | saving the moon | cooking show | special olympics | storytime | wolverines, bears, and coyotes | no emails | crying | eh! capturing | sick | year and a half | escape | tech ed | sports | rich | tires | albino cheat | gravy boat | zorax | a rope |
| Plastic Pencil and the Weird Beard | Sherlock Hunting |
