Other Character Email Ice Machine/PUDDING

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Contents

Synopsis

The Almighty Fridge In: PUDDING - Non-canon conspiracy for a dummies!

An Ice Machine answers this "non-canon" email from n00b-1 and gets a visit from the White House- I mean, the bot of a Bluetant.

Cast (in order of appearance): An Ice Machine, Bluetant Bot, Joey the Otaku Chorch

Page Title: There's no one snacking on that green alien! AHHHHHHHHHH smack

181(118) LINES, DUDETTE! NO EASTER EGGS LINESES INCLUDED, DAWGETTE. SPACES IS INCLUDED?!!

Transcript

{Well, what did you expect? Yes, it’s the DEATHTRAPARLOR. And An Ice Machine is checking his emails. And he looks a little rusty, too.}

ICE MACHINE: {blah blah typing “c://program files/Ice Machine Email V1.5”} Oh, and now for a non-canon moment not featuring stupid Jerry! Here we go! {brings up email}

ICE MACHINE: Oh. It’s you again. You know what that means, folks...

{Cut to the puppet theatre once again. The curtains subside and the Nebulon puppet is revealed.}

ICE MACHINE: {as Nebulon} Hi everyone, my name is Nebulon! And I’m here to tell you all on how stupid I am!

{A cup of pudding on a stick emerges from beneath the theatre.}

ICE MACHINE: {as Nebulon} This is a chocolate pudding! It’s name are cornbread!

{A click from a tape recorded is heard, and canned cheering is heard. Another click, and the cup of pudding on a stick turns upside down and dumps its slimy contents on Nebulon’s eyes.}

ICE MACHINE: {as Nebulon} Aaaaaaah! My eyes! They hurt really badly!

{The Nebulon puppet franticly shifts left and right on the stage for a few moments, then stops as the stick of now-empty pudding falls on him. He quickly emerges off-stage, followed by a low-quality click and a low-quality smacking sound, followed by another low-quality click.}

ICE MACHINE: {you should know what goes in here by now} Oh no! I tripped over my own style! I do not like it one bit!

{Click, rumbling sounds, click.}

ICE MACHINE: Oh no! What was that?

{An overused crescendo is heard as a giant sheet of brown construction paper with “THE MASTER OF PUDDING” written in Permanent Marker on it slowly emerges from the left side of the theater, or the right from audience view.}

ICE MACHINE: Aaaaaaah! Mommy! I am going to drown in pudding! Who will save me now?

{Just as the construction paper is about to smack the Nebulon puppet, a ding dong is heard.}

ICE MACHINE: {as himself} Wha? Oh, wait, I forget that there’s a hidden doorbell system. Hang in there, kids! {gets up and pulls out a Sharpie, scribbles on the construction paper, then leaves off-stage to the left. The construction paper turns over to read “THE MASTER OF PUDDING INTERMISSION”}.

{Cut to the front door of the DEATHTRAPARLOR. The Bluetant Bot from a boss is standing outside.}

BLUETANT BOT: C’mon, c’mon…

{The front doors swing open. An Ice Machine steps out.}

ICE MACHINE: Hey, look who’s here! A customer! And…what’s this?

BLUETANT BOT: I’m a ‘tant on threads.

ICE MACHINE: Ah. Okay, okay…come on in…ICE.

{The Bluetant Bot and An Ice Machine walk on in, and we side-wipe left transition to the counter at the front. The Bluetant Bot somehow has stilts supporting him connected to his threads. After a few seconds, An Ice Machine walks by, holding a cup of Vanilla Ice Cream with a rusty spoon in it. He sets it down on the counter.}

ICE MACHINE: One Vanilla Ice Creamery, that will be $1.99 or something in Ameuro Pounds.

BLUETANT BOT: Uh, I don’t eat.

ICE MACHINE: Right, right. More for me, then! {sucks up the cup of Ice Cream and munches on it, then swallows it}

BLUETANT BOT: Well, the reason I came here is because I have something to tell you, something that might change your future forever.

ICE MACHINE: Well, I can’t take no for an answer, but what you say is a variant of a cli-

BLUETANT BOT: Not what I’m here for. Anyways, you want to know what happened to Joey?

ICE MACHINE: Let me guess- NO. Actually, yeah, go ahead, but I’ll guess first. I remember him going off for pizza or something and coming back later, but it’s half past three and he hasn’t come back yet.

BLUETANT BOT: Well…

{The blue glass “eye” of the Bluetant Bot glimmers twice before it progressively reveals a torn and tattered Joey lying unconscious on some rotting dungeon floor. Hash-haws surround him on each side, except for the wall he slumps on.}

ICE MACHINE: Okay so this is…a dead Chorch’s exo-skeleton lying on the brink of chop-chop-slush.

BLUETANT BOT: That Chorch is not dead, rather has been cut off in energy supply. He is-

ICE MACHINE: –that freaking Otaku Chorch! I shoulda known all along! {“all along” appears above his head, then disappears} Where is he?

BLUETANT BOT: Honestly, I have no idea. But reach out with your feelings.

ICE MACHINE: You mean you want me to pull off an Obi-Wan Kenobi? As a robot, I don’t have feelings. Okay, I do. I’m some supercompy AI man. But I can’t reach out with these…instructions you are giving me.

BLUETANT BOT: Then think about it.

ICE MACHINE: I’ll try then. {pauses} …ice.

{Jeopardy-esque music plays as An Ice Machine walks around the counter, pondering Joey’s location. Suddenly, a record scratches, and a lightbulb appears over An Ice Machine’s top hatch.}

ICE MACHINE: I’ve got it! He’s in…

BLUETANT BOT: …yes?

ICE MACHINE: …a perilous situation only known to mankind as some evil organization called SINISTECH by which I must use CAPS LOCK in!

BLUETANT BOT: Ah! So that is where he is located.

ICE MACHINE: But now that you know that…{eyes slowly turn red}…I can’t allow you to leave. Muahahahahahaha! {starts coughing as his eyes turn to normal} Sorry, my bad. Actually, can you do me a favor? I need to please a fourth-wall audience.

BLUETANT BOT: Sure, what’s the favor?

{Cut to the puppet theatre once again. The Nebulon puppet is held up, and the worn out construction paper smacks it.}

ICE MACHINE: {as Nebulon} Oh no! I die! Who will save me now?

{A fanfare is heard, then an An Ice Machine puppet (played by Bluetant Bot) comes on-stage from the left.}

BLUETANT BOT: {as An Ice Machine} Dun dun dun. Ice Machine will save the day.

{Pause.}

ICE MACHINE: {as himself} …with enthusiasm.

BLUETANT BOT: {as himself} Look, give me a break here, I can’t express feeling very well.

ICE MACHINE: {as himself} Fine. {as Nebulon} Yay! An Ice Machine is here to save the day!

BLUETANT BOT: {as An Ice blah blah blah} Never fear, Ice Machine here!

{The construction paper suddenly crumples itself up and goes behind the An Ice Machine puppet. Sucking sounds are heard as the paper is crumpled.}

BLUETANT BOT: Yum, that was a pretty good pudding. Away!

{The An Ice Machine puppet is held upwards out of sight.}

ICE MACHINE: {as Nebulon} Bye An Ice Machine! You are my hero!

{Suddenly, the An Ice Machine puppet falls on the Nebulon Puppet.}

ICE MACHINE: {as himself} ABRUPT ENDING OF A BAD PUPPET SHOW!

BLUETANT BOT: {as himself} That was more good than bad.

ICE MACHINE: Shut up. Don’t ruin the comedic effect.

{A short, dramatic 8-bit clip of music plays as the words “GAME OVER” are displayed. As the music stops, the email anicemachine@redbuttonspies.com appears.}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on the Nebulon puppet to see this:

{Extra scene! Many Nebulon puppets fall from the top of the stage.}

ICE MACHINE: {as puppets} Oh no! Who shall save us now?
BLUETANT BOT: {simultaneously, as puppets} Oh no. Who shall save us now.

ICE MACHINE: {as himself} Bot-kid, you need to get a lifeICE.

Fun Facts

Trivia

  • This email goes in the same style as its predecessor, you suck.

Explanations

  • This email is non-canon because I need to continue the plot in the next email, because of Josh's tips.
  • This is also the first time I realize both An Ice Machine and Nebulon's eyes are their weakness.

Real-World References

  • "Hang in there, kids!" comes or is inspired from Happy Tree Friends.
  • The "ABRUPT ENDING OF A BAD PUPPET SHOW" is inspired from senior citizen squad, some Thatkidsam type-thing.
  • The easter egg refers to Homsar's Blog.
  • "Reach out with your feelings" and Obi-Wan come from the Star Wars saga.

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