Other Character Email Tampo/girlfriend

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Tampo Email #12: "girlfriend"

Summary: While traveling, Tampo and company decide to answer an email to pass the time. Tampo discovers he has an admirer.

Cast (in order of appearance): Tampo, Brody, Stlunko, Jaros, Greggos, Chorches, Terrells, Grundies, Stobats, Various Robots, Butler Robot, Princess's Guards, Princess of Flarg, 20X6 Poopsmith (Easter Egg)

Places: A Field, A Forest, A Desert, Flarg City, Flarg Royal Mansion

Length: 138 Lines

Date: May 1st, 2005

Transcript

{A zoomed out view of Tampo, Brody and Stlunko are shown in a field at night, wide awake. Various shut-down robots and sleeping chickens surround them, but at a fair distance away. The camera zooms in to the boss trio.}

BRODY: {brings head down to Tampo's level} Camping out in the fields? This is so lame! Why can't we get a nice spot in town?

TAMPO: {sarcastic} I don't know. Maybe because we've been {angry} OSTRACIZED!!!

BRODY: Yeah, but what for?

TAMPO: {annoyed} Ugh. Maybe because you destroyed {angry, yelling} every chicken factory in the world?!

BRODY: {embarrassed} Oh yeah, that. Sorry.

STLUNKO: Actually, he did not destroy too many factories, only the ones in the immediate vicinity.

TAMPO: {annoyed} Which is why we're all here in the middle of nowhere traveling to some far-off city that hasn't heard of us instead of relaxing in some uptown robot mansion!

BRODY: Calm down, Tampo.

STLUNKO: We are only 278 kilometers away from our destination.

TAMPO: {sarcastic} Hooray. {normal voice} We are filthy rich! We shouldn't have to be living like this!

STLUNKO: As soon as we reach our destination, we will be living in paradise.

TAMPO: Until then... this stinks.

BRODY: Maybe we should... um... we don't really have anything to do with everyone asleep, huh?

STLUNKO: I could power down, but I would require a massive fuel source to recharge. But I have plenty of fuel in my storage to make it to our destination.

TAMPO: Well, I'm not tired at all.

STLUNKO: You could answer an email.

BRODY: Not like we have anything else to do.

TAMPO: How? Are you connected to the InstaNet? Like, by radio connection or something?

STLUNKO: No. But I do have back-ups of our inbox. Just in case something bad happens to our email client. I could print out one of our unanswered emails.

TAMPO: Um... sure, why not?

{A sound of a printer printing is heard. When it stops, one of Stlunko's hands reaches behind his body and comes back holding a piece of paper by the bottom. He holds it up to Tampo.}

TAMPO: Okay, is the CameraBot on?

STLUNKO: Yes, I activated it a while ago.

TAMPO: I wish you wouldn't do that without me knowing. Anyway, let's see here...

{Tampo reads the email.}

Hey Big Brain Boy,
You are lookin' prooty hot! Howsabout a kiss?
XOXOXO,
Princess
PS: Just kidding! :-P

{Tampo pronounces ":-P" as "colon-hyphen-P."}

BRODY: What?!

TAMPO: Hot? Kiss? Big Brain Boy? Exty-Oh-Exty-Oh-Exty-Oh? What is this?

STLUNKO: By human terms, those mean that you are Princess's boyfriend.

TAMPO: What about "just kidding?"

STLUNKO: I am unsure about that. I think it she means she is playfully joking with you. Humans in love do that all the time.

TAMPO: You sure?

STLUNKO: Quite.

TAMPO: So... some human girl thinks I'm attractive? Weird. Well, I guess I'll visit this Princess character.

BRODY: I wonder where she lives.

TAMPO: Wait, this is a human woman we're talking about. I- I know nothing about them.

STLUNKO: I have data on practically everything. I can teach you how to act around her.

TAMPO: Wha- Wait a second. Princess: a female human. Me: a floating brain. I don't see how this gonna work out.

BRODY: Hey, I'm sure she knew what she was doing when she sent the email. Besides, this could be important for us. When we become the rulers of the world, we're going to need heirs to succeed us.

TAMPO: {confused} Heirs? {realization hits, yelling} Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! We are NOT talking about that! Jeez.

{Camera zooms out, showing that several of the robots and chickens are staring at them.}

TAMPO: {talking to crowd} What are you guys looking at? Go back to sleep!

{Camera zooms back in as crowd returns to the way it was.}

BRODY: Sorry...

TAMPO: Ugh, I'm going to sleep.

{Tampo floats down onto the ground. Stlunko releases the printed email and it drifts away with the wind. The screen fades to black.}

{The screen fades back to a montage. Light music is playing. Tampo is in a field with Stlunko. There are two pictures in front of Stlunko, held up by easels. One is a picture of a woman with the text "HUMAN WOMAN" underneath. The other is a man with the text "HUMAN MAN" underneath. Stlunko points to the woman and Tampo nods.}

{Fades to another scene in a forest. Stlunko is holding up a bunch of large pieces of paper in a stack. The visible card reads "How may I help you?" Tampo seems to say it, but no sound is heard other than the light music. Then Stlunko moves that card to the back of the stack, showing the next card that reads "You look beautiful tonight.}

{Fades to field of flowers. Stlunko grabs some and shows them to Tampo. Tampo nods.}

{Fades to a desert-like area. Three Chorches are putting a headset on Tampo. It has two metalic arms sticking out of the sides, with a strap going around the top to keep them on. Tampo's pincer-like hands clench and Stlunko makes a thumbs-up sign.}

{Cut to a field with Tampo, Brody, Stlunko and their minions. There is a city in the near background. Tampo is not wearing the headset.}

TAMPO: Look, there it is!

BRODY: Let's go!

{Excited beeps and shouts are heard from the robot and chicken crowd. They start moving quickly towards the city.}

{Cut to a field right next to the city. There is a sign that reads, "Welcome to Flarg City!" Tampo and all his friends and minions arrive.}

TAMPO: Okay, Brody, take the money box and go find a nice big robot mansion or something.

BRODY: I'm on it!

{Brody and all the little chickens and robots walk into the city and out of sight.}

TAMPO: Stlunko, you and me and going to find this princess character.

STLUNKO: Okay.

{Cut to Tampo and Stlunko moving along a road inside Flarg City. There are several robots and futuristic buildings around. Tampo is wearing the aforementioned headset and is holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand. He also has a tie attached to his lower front somehow. It is early in the night.}

TAMPO: It's a good thing you found that downloadable map, or we may have never found the Princess of Flarg's palace.

STLUNKO: The Princess of Flarg is an important political figure in this city. Earning her favor would be highly advisable.

TAMPO: Hey, I still don't see how this is gonna work out.

STLUNKO: Do not worry. Do you remember those lines I told you?

TAMPO: "You look beautiful tonight." Yeah, yeah. I remember.

{Tampo and Stlunko approach a palace's front door. There is a butler-like robot up front.}

BUTLER ROBOT: Hello. What do you want?

TAMPO: I request to see the princess.

BUTLER ROBOT: What makes you think you can see her?

STLUNKO: She informed us in an email that she liked him. We concluded that she would want to meet him.

TAMPO: Um, yeah.

BUTLER ROBOT: Hmm... I see about that.

{The butler robot enters the palace. Tampo glances at Stlunko, then faces the palace door. A few seconds later, the butler reenters.}

BUTLER ROBOT: It seems that you are correct. I will retrieve the Princess of Flarg for you.

{The butler robot reenters the palace.}

TAMPO: Well, here we go.

STLUNKO: I will observe from a distance so as not to bother you.

{Stlunko rolls backwards, out of sight. A few seconds later, footsteps are heard coming from inside the palace.}

PRINCESS OF FLARG: {angry, inside palace} This better be good. I'm busy!

{The palace door opens and two robot guards emerge. Then the Princess of Flarg comes out. She is a blonde woman in a fancy, yet futuristic suit. She is wearing excessive amounts of jewelry.}

PRINCESS OF FLARG: Yes, who is it?

TAMPO: {inches forward} Um... hello, fair princess. Might I say you look beautiful tonight.

PRINCESS OF FLARG: What?

TAMPO: Let's go out together. I will take you to the most expensive restaurant in town.

PRINCESS OF FLARG: {disgusted} Go out with YOU?! Ugh! That's disgusting! I mean, look at you! You're a- you're a wrinkly, floating pink blob!

TAMPO: Buh-buh-buh-but the email... you said I was pretty hot.

PRINCESS OF FLARG: {disgusted} I said YOU were hot? I never said... oh, that email.

TAMPO: Don't you want a kiss?

PRINCESS OF FLARG: {disgusted} Eww! {angry} So you're stupid, too! Didn't you read the ending of my email?! It was a joke email. "Just kidding!" Hello?

TAMPO: But- but I thought...

PRINCESS OF FLARG: I don't care what you thought! I'm won't be seen with you ever again!

{The princess turns around and storms into the mansion and slams the door shut behind her. The two guards then reopen the door, enter and close the door behind them.}

TAMPO: {outstretches hand} I- I got you flowers!

{Tampo sighs, droops his hands and drops the flowers.}

TAMPO: {upset} That stunk.

{The sky suddenly grows overcast. Stlunko rolls in.}

STLUNKO: It looks like I was wrong. I am sorry.

TAMPO: {upset} It's okay. I guess we should join the others, huh?

STLUNKO: I guess so.

TAMPO: {upset} I'm just... disappointed.

{Suddenly a drizzle starts. As Tampo and Stlunko slowly begin to leave, the drizzle quickly grows harder into a pour. Suddenly Tampo's headset short curcuits.}

TAMPO: ZOW!!!!

{As electric sparks shoot out from the arms, Tampo flashes, fizzes and then plops onto the ground, burnt, blackened and unconscious. Stlunko stares at him.}

STLUNKO: Are you okay Tampo? Are you okay Tampo? {louder} ARE YOU OKAY TAMPO? Stay there, I will go get help.

{Stlunko quickly rolls away. After a few seconds, the screen fades to a close up of Stlunko's back, where the is a slot. Suddenly a piece of paper gets printed out of the slot and hangs there. It reads, "Click here to email Tampo."}

Easter Eggs

Click on the word Tampo at the end to see what happens to Tampo while Stlunko's away.

{Tampo is lying in the rain, burnt and unconscious. Suddenly the 20X6 version of the Poopsmith walks by. He looks very similar to the present-day Poopsmith, except he is a cyborg. He walks up to Tampo and stares at the charred blob.}

20X6 POOPSMITH: {beeps and whirls}

{Having extra strength from his mechanical parts, the 20X6 Poopsmith sticks his shovel underneath Tampo, lifts him up onto his shovel and carries him away.}

Fun Facts

You will need to read Tampo Email "future" to understand why Tampo and company are on the road.
Ostracized means to be exiled to the outskirts of town.
Brody's attack of the chicken factories is shown on the Tampo Email "chickens."
The name of the city (Flarg) is a direct reference to the Fairly Odd Parents episode: The Five Days of Flarg.

Quick Links

Other Character Email Tampo/girlfriend

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