Other Character Email 1-Up/sick

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

1-UP EMAIL 99!

1-Up gets sick on the exact same day that he is meant to meet Tampo.

Cast (in order of appereance): 1-Up, Stinkoman, Tampo, Brody, Stlunko, Marzichan, Homestar Runner, Strong Bad

Transcript

{Cuts to 1-Up talking on the holigram-phone in his bed at Stinkoman HQ. There are a lot of tissues surrounding him}

1-UP: I'm sorry, Tampo. I appear to be sick.

{1-Up coughs}

TAMPO: {from phone} This is unacceptable. If you want me to work together with you then you must come to the Lava Zone no matter how sick you are.

{1-Up coughs a tiny bit more}

1-UP: I'm sorry, Tampno.

TAMPO: {from phone} Tampno? It's Tampo!

1-UP: Sorry. I can't talk properly.

TAMPO: {from phone} Well, bye. Is it okay if I kill Stinkoman today?

1-UP: Yeah, okay.

{1-Up hangs up the phone. Stinkoman walks onscreen}

1-UP: {sighs} It kind of reminds me when I was locked in Tampo's jail and snuck in my Tandy 2000 which I use to answer emails and I even sneak out of the jail to make my emails better. Oh, and I got the Tandy 2000 from the future where Tampo is the evil ruler of the world.

STINKOMAN: What?

1-UP: Umm... Nevermind.

STINKOMAN: I got you an email capsule. They are the latest invention.

{1-Up grabs an email capsule}

1-UP: Activate 1-Up Email Inbox.

Dear Up-one
I've noticed how you never seem to get sick
How do you stay so healthy all the time
~Limoman

1-UP: What are you talking about, Limoguy? I've been sick for a little while. Why do you think I haven't been checking emails in some time?

STINKOMAN: Actuallly, It hasn't been a while. Your last email was yesterday, Kidstar.

1-UP: It's 1-Up!

STINKOMAN: Okay. Whatever.

1-UP: {sighs}

{Stinkoman walks out. Cuts to the Lava Zone where Tampo, Brody and Stlunko are talking}

TAMPO: Stupid 1-Up.

STLUNKO: Stupid Bozar.

BRODY: Stupid- Umm... Darn it. You took the good ones.

TAMPO: I can't beleive 1-Up isn't going to meet us because he's sick.

STLUNKO: 1-Up has a fever?

TAMPO: Well, Sort of. He doesn't want to meet us. He says that the master is working for Orano.

STLUNKO: That isn't possible. All records show that the master wouldn't work for anybody.

BRODY: Well, We don't know why the master is obeying Orano. In fact, I don't even know that much about the master.

{1-Up suddenly jumps in, accompanied by the background music of the "Da Sturge" radio station, interrupting as flames burst on the sides of the screen for a split second}

1-UP: Wah-wah-wah-wait! You guys! You guys! I struck gold on the alien spaceship- I think it gave me super powers! There were wood-davers everywhere!

TAMPO: I think 1-Up's fever got worse.

BRODY: Make sure that we don't catch that disease okay.

{1-Up coughs}

BRODY: Oh no. I think it touched me.

TAMPO: Pfft. Nothing can happen. It's just a simple disease.

{The screen fades to black}

STRONG BAD: {narrating} One week later.

{Cuts to Tampo and Brody coughing and are surrounded by tissues in the Lava Zone}

BRODY: {coughs} Why diddn't Stlunko get the disease?

TAMPO: Because he's a robot. {coughs}

STLUNKO: {offscreen} I made hot chocolates.

TAMPO: 1-Up is going to pay for this.

BRODY: Right behind ya, Tampo.

{Cuts to Stinkoman in the kitchen of Stinkoman HQ}

STINKOMAN: I hope I don't catch the disease 1-Up has. Where'd he get it from anyway? And what disease is it? There is no record of any disease like this.

1-UP: {offscreen} Are you ready with those hot chocolates?

STINKOMAN: Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

{Cuts to 1-Up's room. 1-Up is in bed blowing his nose on a tissue. Stinkoman walks in}

STINKOMAN: Who gave you this disease in the first place?

1-UP: I don't know.

STINKOMAN: Well, I'm going to find out. Nothing will ever stop me from finding out.

{Cuts to Stinkoman in his bed surrounded by tissues. He is on the phone}

STINKOMAN: Marzichan? I'm sorry. I can't go. Our date is canceled. I'm sick.

MARZICHAN: {from phone} You always lie to me! I hate you! We're breaking up!

STINKOMAN: No. But-

{Marzichan hangs up}

STINKOMAN: {sighs} Stupid 1-Up. I'm surprised that Marzichan hasn't gotten sick yet.

{Cuts to Marzichan under the computer table of Stinkoman HQ. She is surrounded by tissues

MARZICHAN: {coughs} Stinkoman was right. I feel like such a moron. I shouldn't of treated him that way.

STRONG BAD: {narrating} And so, All the 20X6 Characters got the unknown disease and died. The end.

{Cuts to Homesatr Runner and Strong bad talking in Strong Bad's Basement}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That was a horrible story.

STRONG BAD: Do you want to be kicked again?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Nope.

STRONG BAD: Then listen to this story. It's called "The Death of Homesatr Runner."

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Boo.

STRONG BAD: {throws a brick at Homestar Runner}

{The Paper comes down}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ow. That hurt.