Other Character Email The Unguraits/Flight

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

The Unguraits have a special flight...possibly, also someone has kidnapped Kyle!

Cast(In order of appearance): The Unguraits, Mr. Cradgage, Ryan Ryolite on Rye, Possessed Squid, Rya, Contestro Sevornkey, Rusty Duck Clan, Doomsday, Kyle

Transcript

UNGURAIT #1: When's Kyle coming back? We need to have a little talk with the director. {Cut to the Director's room}

MR. CRADGAGE: Well, I never wanted to tell you this, but I have good news and bad news. The good news is that Kyle's reference virus has been cured before stage 8. But the bad news is that he was kidnapped before we were about to let him back on the show. We've tried everything to get him back, but this guy's got a super-secret, well-hidden lair.

UNGURAIT #1: But who would ever want to...Possessed Squid.

MR. CRADGAGE: Well, get to checking. You're under contract.

{Cut to the Conty.}

UNGURAIT #1: Gotta check that email forever!

Dear Unjawaits,
I'm sorry to say that your one-way flight to Belkadan
got cancelled. However, I have good news. You now get 
one FREE flight to either Caluula, Osarian, or Rhommamool.
You're choice.
-Ryan Ryolite on Rye.

UNGURAIT #1: {has difficulty reading the country names in the email} What? We don't remember any flight...oh well! {typing} We'll take the one to Rammandool, please! '{leaves, cut to a plane to Rhommamool} Flight for 4, please, Ryan Ryolite.

RYAN: {hidden face, exaggereated deep voice} Very well, sirs. I will escort you to your seats. Come in, please. {The Unguraits go in. Cut to the inside of the plane.}

UNGURAIT #1: This rules!

RYAN: {on intercom} 5 seconds to crashing on Rhommamool.

UNGURAIT #1: What? {The plane begins to dive straight down causing panic with the Unguraits. When it crashes, they crash into the windows, and they're airbags deploy in their faces, knocking them out. Fade to black. Fade in to the Possessed Squid's Lair-Cave.}

POSSESSED SQUID: Well, look who's up.

RYAN: Can we watch them die slowly?

POSSESSED SQUID: Sure.

UNGURAIT #1: Wha- What's going on here?

POSSESSED SQUID: Allow her to explain.

UNGURAIT #1: "Her"?

RYAN: {Rya's human voice} What? You didn't know? {reveals her true form as Rya}

RYA: Ryan Ryolite on Rye. Sometimes, you're as dumb as Contestro. {Cut to Contestro's lair}

CONTESTRO: I resent that, Ryan. {Cut back to the Cave-Lair}

RYA: I stand by my point. Anyway, I was resurected by the Possessed Squid and I have come for my revenge.

UNGURAIT #1: What revenge? What have we ever done to you?

RYA: You won't die! I concocted this brilliant plan to kill you so you won't ever be alive to torture me ever again!

UNGURAIT #1: WE HAVE NEVER EVEN SEEN YOU BEFORE TODAY!

RYA: I shall kill you now! {Tense battle music begins as Rya attacks. She uses black-belt karate skills to overpower them. She attacks Ungurait #4 and defeats him. Then she defeats #3. Then #2. And then #1 attacks Rya. He kicks and chops her senseless. The Possessed Squid grabs #1 and holds him still. She is about to kill him, when Contestro comes in with the Rusty Duck Clan.}

POSSESSED SQUID: Oh crap! {lets go of Ungurait #1} Ninjas! Run! {The Possessed Squid and Rya flee}

UNGURAIT #1: Thatnks Contestro, but how did you know we were here?

CONTESTRO: Well, remember when Ryan called me dumb? Well, I was watching the whole thing and I came here! Luckily, he didn't kill the other Unguraits.

UNGURAIT #1: But what happened to Kyle?

CONTESTRO: I dunno. {Cut to a secret, sky lair}

KYLE'S REPLACEMENT: Yes, you don't know. But you soon will. And you will fear my name forever!

KYLE: You'll never get away with this, Doomsday!

DOOMSDAY: Yes I will, you pathetic, obsolete fool. {laughs maniacly, cut back to the Cave-Lair}

CONTESTRO: Well, whatever happened, we'll find him. And Ryan will pay, yes he will.

UNGURAIT #1: Contestro, Ryan is actually Rya, a girl.

CONTESTRO: Wha--

{Instantly cut to a black screen with text, "Click here to email The Unguraits".}